The Oxford Shakespeare: The Complete Works

by William Shakespeare

  POLONIUS (aside) How say you by that? Still harping on my daughter. Yet he knew me not at first—a said I was a fishmonger. A is far gone, far gone, and truly, in my youth I suffered much extremity for love, very near this. I’ll speak to him again.—What do you read, my lord?

  HAMLET Words, words, words.

  POLONIUS What is the matter, my lord?

  HAMLET Between who?

  POLONIUS I mean the matter you read, my lord.

  HAMLET Slanders, sir; for the satirical slave says here that old men have grey beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their eyes purging thick amber, or plum-tree gum, and that they have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams. All which, sir, though I most powerfully and potently believe, yet I hold it not honesty to have it thus set down; for you yourself, sir, should be old as I am—if, like a crab, you could go backward.

  POLONIUS (aside) Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t.—Will you walk out of the air, my lord?

  HAMLET Into my grave.

  POLONIUS Indeed, that is out o’th’ air. (Aside) How pregnant sometimes his replies are! A happiness that often madness hits on, which reason and sanity could not so prosperously be delivered of. I will leave him, and suddenly contrive the means of meeting between him and my daughter.—My lord, I will take my leave of you.

  HAMLET You cannot, sir, take from me anything that I will more willingly part withal—except my life, my life, my life.

  POLONIUS (going) Fare you well, my lord.

  HAMLET These tedious old fools! ⌈Enter Guildenstern and Rosencrantz⌉

  POLONIUS You go to seek the Lord Hamlet. There he is.

  ROSENCRANTZ God save you, sir.

  GUILDENSTERN ⌈to Polonius⌉ Mine honoured lord. ⌈Exit Polonius⌉

  ROSENCRANTZ (to Hamlet) My most dear lord.

  HAMLET My ex’llent good friends. How dost thou, Guildenstern? Ah, Rosencrantz—good lads, how do ye both?

  ROSENCRANTZ

  As the indifferent children of the earth.

  GUILDENSTERN

  Happy in that we are not over-happy,

  On Fortune’s cap we are not the very button.

  HAMLET Nor the soles of her shoe?

  ROSENCRANTZ Neither, my lord.

  HAMLET Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favour?

  GUILDENSTERN Faith, her privates we.

  HAMLET In the secret parts of Fortune? O, most true, she is a strumpet. What’s the news?

  ROSENCRANTZ None, my lord, but that the world’s grown honest.

  HAMLET Then is doomsday near. But your news is not true. Let me question more in particular. What have you, my good friends, deserved at the hands of Fortune that she sends you to prison hither?

  GUILDENSTERN Prison, my lord?

  HAMLET Denmark’s a prison.

  ROSENCRANTZ Then is the world one.

  HAMLET A goodly one, in which there are many confines, wards, and dungeons, Denmark being one o’th’ worst.

  ROSENCRANTZ We think not so, my lord.

  HAMLET Why, then ’tis none to you, for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison.

  ROSENCRANTZ Why, then your ambition makes it one; ’tis too narrow for your mind.

  HAMLET O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.

  GUILDENSTERN Which dreams indeed are ambition; for the very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.

  HAMLET A dream itself is but a shadow.

  ROSENCRANTZ Truly, and I hold ambition of so airy and light a quality that it is but a shadow’s shadow.

  HAMLET Then are our beggars bodies, and our monarchs and outstretched heroes the beggars’ shadows. Shall we to th’ court? For, by my fay, I cannot reason.

  ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN We’ll wait upon you.

  HAMLET No such matter. I will not sort you with the rest of my servants, for, to speak to you like an honest man, I am most dreadfully attended. But in the beaten way of friendship, what make you at Elsinore?

  ROSENCRANTZ To visit you, my lord, no other occasion.

  HAMLET Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks, but I thank you; and sure, dear friends, my thanks are too dear a halfpenny. Were you not sent for? Is it your own inclining? Is it a free visitation? Come, deal justly with me. Come, come. Nay, speak. 278

  GUILDENSTERN What should we say, my lord?

  HAMLET Why, anything—but to th’ purpose. You were sent for, and there is a kind of confession in your looks which your modesties have not craft enough to colour. I know the good King and Queen have sent for you.

  ROSENCRANTZ To what end, my lord?

  HAMLET That you must teach me. But let me conjure you by the rights of our fellowship, by the consonancy of our youth, by the obligation of our ever-preserved love, and by what more dear a better proposer could charge you withal, be even and direct with me whether you were sent for or no.

  ROSENCRANTZ (to Guildenstern) What say you?

  HAMLET Nay then, I have an eye of you—if you love me, hold not off.

  GUILDENSTERN My lord, we were sent for.

  HAMLET I will tell you why. So shall my anticipation prevent your discovery, and your secrecy to the King and Queen moult no feather. I have of late—but wherefore I know not—tost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercise; and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory. This most excellent canopy the air, look you, this brave o’erhanging, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire—why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god—the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! And yet to me what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me—no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

  ROSENCRANTZ My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.

  HAMLET Why did you laugh, then, when I said ‘Man delights not me’?

  ROSENCRANTZ To think, my lord, if you delight not in man what lenten entertainment the players shall receive from you. We coted them on the way, and hither are they coming to offer you service.

  HAMLET He that plays the King shall be welcome; his majesty shall have tribute of me. The adventurous Knight shall use his foil and target, the Lover shall not sigh gratis, the Humorous Man shall end his part in peace, the Clown shall make those laugh whose lungs are tickled o’th’ sear, and the Lady shall say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt for’t. What players are they?

  ROSENCRANTZ Even those you were wont to take delight in, the tragedians of the city.

  HAMLET How chances it they travel? Their residence both in reputation and profit was better both ways.

  ROSENCRANTZ I think their inhibition comes by the means of the late innovation.

  HAMLET Do they hold the same estimation they did when I was in the city? Are they so followed?

  ROSENCRANTZ No, indeed, they are not.

  HAMLET How comes it? Do they grow rusty?

  ROSENCRANTZ Nay, their endeavour keeps in the wonted pace. But there is, sir, an eyrie of children, little eyases, that cry out on the top of question and are most tyrannically clapped for’t. These are now the fashion, and so berattle the common stages—so they call them—that many wearing rapiers are afraid of goose-quills, and dare scarce come thither.

  HAMLET What, are they children? Who maintains ’em? How are they escoted? Will they pursue the quality no longer than they can sing? Will they not say afterwards, if they should grow themselves to common players—as it is like most will, if their means are not better—their writers do them wrong to make them exclaim against their own succession?

  ROSENCRANTZ Faith, there has been much to-do on both sides, and the nation holds it no sin to tarre th
em to controversy. There was for a while no money bid for argument unless the poet and the player went to cuffs in the question.

  HAMLET Is’t possible?

  GUILDENSTERN O, there has been much throwing about of brains.

  HAMLET Do the boys carry it away?

  ROSENCRANTZ Ay, that they do, my lord, Hercules and his load too.

  HAMLET It is not strange; for mine uncle is King of Denmark, and those that would make mows at him while my father lived give twenty, forty, an hundred ducats apiece for his picture in little. ’Sblood, there is something in this more than natural, if philosophy could find it out.

  A flourish for the Players

  GUILDENSTERN There are the players.

  HAMLET Gentlemen, you are welcome to Elsinore. Your hands, come. Th’appurtenance of welcome is fashion and ceremony. Let me comply with you in the garb, lest my extent to the players—which, I tell you, must show fairly outward—shoutd more appear like entertainment than yours.

  ⌈He shakes hands with them⌉

  You are welcome. But my uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.

  GUILDENSTERN In what, my dear lord?

  HAMLET I am but mad north-north-west; when the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.

  Enter Polonius

  POLONIUS Well be with you, gentlemen.

  HAMLET (aside) Hark you, Guildenstern, and you too—at each ear a hearer—that great baby you see there is not yet out of his swathing-clouts.

  ROSENCRANTZ (aside) Haply he’s the second time come to them, for they say an old man is twice a child.

  HAMLET (aside) I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players. Mark it.—You say right, sir, for o’ Monday morning, ’twas so indeed.

  POLONIUS My lord, I have news to tell you.

  HAMLET My lord, I have news to tell you. When Roscius was an actor in Rome—

  POLONIUS The actors are come hither, my lord.

  HAMLET BUZZ, buzz.

  POLONIUS Upon mine honour—

  HAMLET Then came each actor on his ass.

  POLONIUS The best actors in the world, either for tragedy, comedy, history, pastoral, pastorical-comical, historical-pastoral, tragical-historical, tragical-comical-historical-pastoral, scene individable or poem unlimited. Seneca cannot be too heavy, nor Plautus too light. For the law of writ and the liberty, these are the only men.

  HAMLET O Jephthah, judge of Israel, what a treasure hadst thou!

  POLONIUS What a treasure had he, my lord?

  HAMLET Why,

  ‘One fair daughter and no more,

  The which he loved passing well’.

  POLONIUS (aside) Still on my daughter.

  HAMLET Am I not i’th’ right, old Jephthah?

  POLONIUS If you call me Jephthah, my lord, I have a daughter that I love passing well.

  HAMLET Nay, that follows not.

  POLONIUS What follows then, my lord?

  HAMLET Why

  ‘As by lot

  God wot’,

  and then you know‘It came to pass

  As most like it was’—

  the first row of the pious chanson will show you more, for look where my abridgements come.

  Enter four or five Players

  You’re welcome, masters, welcome all.—Iam glad to see thee well.—Welcome, good friends.—O, my old friend! Thy face is valanced since I saw thee last. Com‘st thou to beard me in Denmark?—What, my young lady and mistress. By’r Lady, your ladyship is nearer heaven than when I saw you last by the altitude of a chopine. Pray God your voice, like a piece of uncurrent gold, be not cracked within the ring.—Masters, you are all welcome. We’ll e‘en to’t like French falc’ners, fly at anything we see. We’ll have a speech straight. Come, give us a taste of your quality. Come, a passionate speech.

  FIRST PLAYER What speech, my good lord?

  HAMLET I heard thee speak me a speech once, but it was never acted, or, if it was, not above once; for the play, I remember, pleased not the million. ‘Twas caviare to the general. But it was—as I received it, and others whose judgements in such matters cried in the top of mine—an excellent play, well digested in the scenes, set down with as much modesty as cunning. I remember one said there was no sallets in the lines to make the matter savoury, nor no matter in the phrase that might indict the author of affectation, but called it an honest method, as wholesome as sweet, and by very much more handsome than fine. One speech in it I chiefly loved, ’twas Aeneas’ tale to Dido, and thereabout of it especially where he speaks of Priam’s slaughter. If it live in your memory, begin at this line—let me see, let me see: ‘The rugged Pyrrhus, like th’Hyrcanian beast‘—’tis not so. It begins with Pyrrhus—‘The rugged Pyrrhus, he whose sable arms, Black as his purpose, did the night resemble When he lay couched in the ominous horse, Hath now this dread and black complexion smeared With heraldry more dismal. Head to foot Now is he total gules, horridly tricked With blood of fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, Baked and impasted with the parching streets, That lend a tyrranous and damned light To their vile murders. Roasted in wrath and fire, And thus o’er-sizèd with coagulate gore, With eyes like carbuncles the hellish Pyrrhus Old grandsire Priam seeks’ So, proceed you.

  POLONIUS Fore God, my lord, well spoken, with good accent and good discretion.

  FIRST PLAYER ‘Anon he finds him,

  Striking too short at Greeks. His antique sword,

  Rebellious to his arm, lies where it falls,

  Repugnant to command. Unequal match,

  Pyrrhus at Priam drives, in rage strikes wide;

  But with the whiff and wind of his fell sword

  Th‘unnervèd father falls. Then senseless Ilium,

  Seeming to feel his blow, with flaming top

  Stoops to his base, and with a hideous crash

  Takes prisoner Pyrrhus’ ear. For lo, his sword,

  Which was declining on the milky head

  Of reverend Priam, seemed i’th’ air to stick.

  So, as a painted tyrant, Pyrrhus stood,

  And, like a neutral to his will and matter,

  Did nothing.

  But as we often see against some storm

  A silence in the heavens, the rack stand still,

  The bold winds speechless, and the orb below

  As hush as death, anon the dreadful thunder

  Doth rend the region: so, after Pyrrhus’ pause,

  A rousèd vengeance sets him new a-work;

  And never did the Cyclops’ hammers fall

  On Mars his armour, forged for proof eterne,

  With less remorse than Pyrrhus’ bleeding sword

  Now falls on Priam.

  Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune! All you gods,

  In general synod, take away her power,

  Break all the spokes and fellies from her wheel,

  And bowl the round nave down the hill of heaven,

  As low as to the fiends!’

  POLONIUS This is too long.

  HAMLET It shall to the barber’s, with your beard. (To First Player) Prithee, say on. He’s for a jig or a tale of bawdry, or he sleeps. Say on, come to Hecuba.

  FIRST PLAYER

  ‘But who, O who had seen the mobbled queen’—

  HAMLET ‘The mobbled queen’?

  POLONIUS That’s good; ‘mobbled queen’ is good.

  FIRST PLAYER

  ‘Run barefoot up and down, threat’ning the flames

  With bisson rheum; a clout upon that head

  Where late the diadem stood, and for a robe,

  About her lank and all o‘er-teemèd loins,

  A blanket in th’alarm of fear caught up—

  Who this had seen, with tongue in venom steeped,

  ‘Gainst Fortune’s state would treason have pronounced.

  But if the gods themselves did see her then,

  When she saw Pyrrhus make malicious sport

  In mincing with his sword her husband’s limbs,

  The instant burst of clamour that she
made—

  Unless things mortal move them not at all—

  Would have made milch the burning eyes of heaven,

  And passion in the gods.’

  POLONIUS Look whe’er he has not turned his colour, and has tears in ’s eyes. (To First Player) Prithee, no more.

  HAMLET (to First Player) ’Tis well. I’ll have thee speak out the rest soon. (To Polonius) Good my lord, will you see the players well bestowed? Do ye hear?—let them be well used, for they are the abstracts and brief chronicles of the time. After your death you were better have a bad epitaph than their ill report while you live.

  POLONIUS My lord, I will use them according to their desert.

  HAMLET God’s bodykins, man, much better. Use every man after his desert, and who should scape whipping? Use them after your own honour and dignity—the less they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty. Take them in.

  POLONIUS (to Players) Come, sirs. Exit

  HAMLET (to Players) Follow him, friends. We’ll hear a play tomorrow. Dost thou hear me, old friend? Can you play the murder of Gonzago?

  ⌈PLAYERS⌉ Ay, my lord.

  HAMLET We’ll ha’t tomorrow night. You could for a need study a speech of some dozen or sixteen lines which I would set down and insert in’t, could ye not?

  ⌈PLAYERS⌉ Ay, my lord.

  HAMLET Very well. Follow that lord, and look you mock him not. ⌈Exeunt Players⌉ My good friends, I’ll leave you till night. You are welcome to Elsinore.

  ROSENCRANTZ Good my lord.

  HAMLET

  Ay, so. God b‘wi’ ye. Exeunt all but Hamlet Now I am alone.

  O, what a rogue and peasant slave am Il

  Is it not monstrous that this player here,

  But in a fiction, in a dream of passion,

  Could force his soul so to his whole conceit

  That from her working all his visage wanned,

  Tears in his eyes, distraction in ’s aspect,

  A broken voice, and his whole function suiting

  With forms to his conceit? And all for nothing.

  For Hecuba!

  What’s Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba,