Two's Enough Three's a Crowd

by Brenda Hampton

  “Ray, thanks for trying, but this shit goes beyond him fucking my woman. If you’re worried about me tripping tonight, then don’t. I don’t have any intention of messing up your night.”

  I grabbed Ray-Ray on his shoulder and we walked back into the other room. Stephon stood next to Nicola, but when he saw her look my way, he moved away. She walked back to me. I looked at him and he looked at me.

  “Say, did I interrupt something?” I asked.

  “Naw, seemed like she was hollering at you, dog.”

  “Right, right. But you know if you want her, I ain’t got no problem with that.”

  “Nope, ain’t interested. Besides, I already got my shit off tonight with that sista right over there,” he said, pointing to the chick he came down the steps with.

  “Well, I got two questions for you: Was it good, and how much did it cost you?”

  He laughed.

  “Aw, it was good. And so was I. So good that once I was finished, she gave me fifty dollars back.”

  “That’s how you do it,” I said, giving him five.

  Stephon reached over and gave me a hug. I hugged him back. It felt good that my cousin and I were on our way to settling our differences. He was way more important to me than Nokea, and we were both wrong for allowing a woman to come between us.

  Nicola had worked her way over to some other brothas, so Stephon and I talked about the fine-ass ladies in the house.

  “Man, I can’t believe you haven’t found you no shit up in here yet,” Stephon said, gawking at everything that walked by. “It’s all kind of ass floating around here.”

  “Yeah, I’ve been checking it out. I’m just waiting for the right one. There ain’t no question in my mind that I’ll be fucking tonight. The only question is, who’s going to be the lucky woman?”

  After scoping the set with Stephon, I thought about my conversation with Brashaney tonight. I pulled out my cell phone and called to cancel our plans. I knew there was no way I would be home by two. She didn’t answer, so I left a message and told her I’d call her tomorrow.

  When Stephon walked to the bar and got another drink, the lights flashed again. The floor cleared and the fellas made room for the next stripper. Nelly’s “It’s Gettin Hot in Here” started playing.

  I almost spilled the drink in my hand when I saw Scorpio enter the room. She had on some thigh-high white leather boots with spurs and a cowboy hat. As she walked in and swayed her hips from side to side, the white tassels that covered her ass also moved from side to side. Her top was a strapless corset with fringes dangling from it. She strutted around the floor in circles and the men went crazy. She tossed her hat into the crowd, and her long, wavy hair fell down over her face.

  Stephon looked at me and pointed. “Is that—?”

  “Yes, but don’t say anything. I don’t want her to see me.” I ducked behind Stephon and this other dude who seemed to really be enjoying the show. I had to see for myself how nasty she could get at one of these parties that she claimed were so innocent.

  When the music changed, she pulled not one brotha, but three on the floor. She sat one in a chair and the other two on the floor. As they eagerly waited for her to get busy, she removed her top, swung it in the air, and tossed it on the floor. Then the money came in. It covered the floor. When she slid out of her shorts and draped them across the face of the brotha in the chair, I cut my eyes and shook my head with disgust. She was left standing with a sheer white thong. Wasn’t no need for her to have it on because everyone could see the smooth hairs on her pussy.

  My heart raced as I continued to watch. Stephon and the rest of the motherfuckers stood with their mouths open, mesmerized by her trashy performance. And when she flipped her body over the chair and wrapped her legs around the brotha’s face, with her face in his lap, I had seen enough. I put my drink down and headed for the door.

  Stephon grabbed me. “Come on now, Jay. You better than that, ain’t you? Don’t let this woman ruin your night. Besides, it ain’t nothing but a show anyway.”

  He nudged me back into the room, and I sat in the corner where I couldn’t see what went on. The noise was distracting because brothas screamed and hollered more for her than they did anybody. It was a good thing I’d ended it with her before tonight, because if I hadn’t, I’d be up there kicking her ass.

  After Scorpio racked up the dollars, she blew kisses at the fellas and swished her ass out of the room. I at least wanted to find out where Mackenzie was, so I told one of Ray-Ray’s partnas to stop her when she came out of the bathroom. I told him to tell her that if she was willing to come to the room at the end of the hall, it would be worth a thousand dollars.

  After I paid him a hundred dollars for doing it, he stood by the bathroom door and waited for her to come out. I ran upstairs to the room at the end of the hall and took off my shirt so she would think I was naked. Then I turned off the light, hopped in bed, and waited for her to enter.

  The room had an odor like somebody had already been there fucking, but it was still a bad-ass room. It was gold and white, had mirrors on the closet doors that went from one end of the room to the other. The wallpaper was gold-and-white-striped, and the rugs matched the white curtains that draped the windows. The bed had gold satin sheets, but I threw them off, not knowing who had laid their ass on there tonight.

  I sat up with my arms folded, my legs crossed, and leaned back on the soft pillows as I waited for her to come. It was dark as hell, but I could see a sliver of light coming through the window.

  When the door creaked, I took a deep breath. She walked in and shut the door behind her. I knew it was her because I could smell her perfume.

  “Excuse me, are you going to turn the light on?” she asked, still standing by the door.

  “Are you going to take off your clothes for me like the song said?” I asked in a deep voice.

  “No, I’m not. I came in here to tell you I don’t go out like that. If sex is what you want, I’ll set you up with one of my girlfriends out there. As a matter of fact, she’s waiting for you now.”

  “I’m not interested in her.” I made my voice deeper. “I got a thousand dollars right now that got your name all over it.”

  “Sorry, sir, that ain’t my style,” she said, turning to open the door.

  “I said that I’m not interested in her. I want you.”

  I reached for the lamp and turned on the light.

  Scorpio turned and looked at me. She cracked a tiny smile. “Jaylin, what are you doing here?”

  “I came here to party, just like everybody else,” I said, admiring her sexy body in her tight blue jeans and matching jean halter-top.

  “Did you try to set me up or something?”

  “No. I liked what I saw downstairs and wanted a sista to come shake a brotha down. But since you don’t get down like that, I guess I’ll have to settle for your girlfriend.”

  She smiled. “Well, I can always make an exception for a man like you.”

  “Naw, naw. Don’t do me any favors. I’m sure your girlfriend wouldn’t mind shaking a brotha down tonight. Go ahead; call her in here so I can get this party started.”

  Scorpio turned around and threw her backpack with her clothes in it over her shoulder. “Well, you have a good time. I came here to do what I had to do tonight; now I’m going home.”

  I gazed at the gap between her legs where I used to lay my dick, and I couldn’t let her walk out. I jumped out of the bed and put my hand on the door. As I pressed my body up against hers, I moved her hair to the side and whispered in her ear.

  “Don’t go, baby. Let’s make love. I’m sorry for not trusting you. I’m sorry for putting my hands on you. Just... just make love to me right now. I miss you beside me. I miss having your body next to mine.”

  She turned around and put her finger on my lips. “Jaylin, that all sounds good, but all I want to know is do you love me? If you miss me so much, then tell me. Do you love me?”

  “Baby, you know how I f
eel.”

  “No, I don’t. Tell me how you feel. If you can’t tell me you love me, then ain’t no sense in me hanging around.”

  I took a few steps back and looked her pretty self in the face. I rubbed her cheek and then kissed it. “Where’s Mackenzie?” I asked, as I wasn’t about to tell her something I didn’t mean.

  “Jaylin, is loving me that hard for you? All I’m asking is for you to love me, that’s all.”

  “Scorpio, I can’t. I’m sorry, but I don’t feel that right now. Why do you want me to lie to you? What’s the big deal? My feelings don’t get any stronger for you than they are right now. If this ain’t enough, I’m sorry. So,” I said with a sigh, “where’s Mackenzie?”

  “She’s at my sister’s house.”

  “Bring her over to my house tomorrow so I can see her.”

  “I’ll try. I have a few things I have to do tomorrow, but I’ll try.”

  “Try hard.” I opened the door so I could let her out.

  She walked down the steps in front of me, and brothas pulled on her like she was a piece of gold. She smiled as a couple of them stuffed money into her back pocket, then she walked out the door.

  Stephon stood in the doorway to the party room. I walked up to him. “Come by my house tomorrow so we can talk,” I said.

  “Fo’ sho’. Any particular time?”

  “Anytime. I’ll be there.”

  He nodded.

  I saw Dark and Lovely, who performed earlier, grabbed her hand, and told her let’s go. Maybe a little whip action was what I needed. She put her drink down and didn’t waste any time getting in the ride with me.

  As we were leaving the premises, I saw Stephon getting into his car with the sista he’d been with earlier. He pulled his car in front of mine and cut me off. He got out of his car and came over to my window.

  “Hey, man, I got something for you,” he said, giving me a piece of paper.

  I looked at it. It was a bill for $11,386 for the repairs to his car.

  “Pay the bill, motherfucker,” he said, laughing. “Pay the bill.”

  I ripped it up and threw it at him. “Negro, please. If I pay your bill, you can pay mine. If you don’t move your car so I can go home and make love to this woman, I’m gonna tear your shit up again.”

  Stephon hopped back into his car, still laughing, and sped off. I zoomed past him on Lindbergh Boulevard and blew the horn.

  I wanted to ask him about Nokea, but I was staying my ass out of it. She was sadly mistaken if she thought Stephon was any better than I was. He was slick, and knew how to charm the hell out of women. I didn’t have time for that shit; I was the kind of man who always told it like it was, no matter what. I guess that’s why Scorpio couldn’t stand me. But I wasn’t changing my ways for nobody.

  When I pulled into the driveway, Brashaney’s car was parked in front of my house, even though I’d told her not to come over. Either that or she didn’t get my message. I stepped out of the car, and Sexy Chocolate got out on her side. Brashaney stormed up the driveway and positioned her hand on her hip.

  “Say, baby, I called and left you a message. You didn’t get it?” I asked.

  “No, Jaylin, I didn’t. So, what’s up? Are you kicking it with her tonight or what?”

  “Well, since both of y’all here, why don’t we make the best of it?” I said, thinking that a threesome would be good right about now.

  Brashaney smacked the shit out of me. I could only smile. I knew I’d played her, but, hey, at least I tried to call.

  She walked back to her car, threw her purse inside, and sped off.

  I worked Sexy Chocolate all night long. I put on a condom three different times, but my big dick and all the pressure I put into this woman caused the damn thing to slide off. I hated using condoms, but under these kinds of conditions, what else could I do? I wished they’d come out with something special for a brotha packing it like me, because this shit just wasn’t working.

  I pulled off the torn condom and we went at it again. After I made her come six times, I’d had enough. All the moaning and groaning, screaming and hollering, and “oh, baby, this is the best dick I’ve ever had” bullshit worked my nerves. Been there and heard that shit before. I rolled my happy ass over and went to sleep.

  After Sexy Chocolate left, I laid my lazy butt around the house all day doing nothing. I waited for Scorpio to call and tell me when she would bring Mackenzie over, but it was almost three o’clock in the afternoon and she hadn’t called yet. Brashaney did, though. She called and cursed my ass out for playing her like I did last night. I didn’t say a word. Wasn’t no sense in me getting all hyped up about a woman I really didn’t care about. She went on and on about what a dog I was, and I just agreed and then ended the conversation.

  Women are just some crazy creatures, I thought. They like too much fucking drama if you ask me. If somebody played your ass like I did last night, why would you still want to be bothered? She was actually calling here to try to fix shit. If I was such a dog, then why waste the time? Never could figure some women out—and wasn’t trying to either.

  I lay back on my bed with my hands folded behind my head and laughed at the situation. The phone rang again. This time, it was Stephon. He asked if I wanted to catch dinner at Applebee’s, or order some Chinese food from the hood. Since I figured our conversation would get pretty deep, I suggested he come to my place and I’d have some Chinese food delivered. He agreed and said he was on his way.

  I went downstairs to the kitchen and tried to find something to snack on because I was starving. When I realized I hadn’t been grocery shopping in a while, I picked up the phone and quickly ordered our Chinese food. I ordered Stephon some house special fried rice with extra shrimp and bean sprouts because it was his favorite. Then I ordered the same for myself, minus the shrimp and sprouts. I threw in an egg roll just to be greedy.

  My place seemed to be a bit out of order, so I called Nanny B and arranged to have her come over the next day. I’d been in a slump, and cleaning up my place was the last thing on my mind. I asked the nanny to do everything from washing the windows to scrubbing the floors. She gave me a price, and I was all for it. Told her I’d see her at nine in the morning.

  Finally, Stephon showed up, as beat as I was from last night’s festivities.

  “Damn, I thought I looked bad. What happened to your ass? Did you at least brush your teeth this morning?” I asked, laughing as he strolled in.

  “Fuck you, man. I got a damn hangover. Hangover from drinking and from that pussy. Couldn’t get that woman out of my place until an hour or so ago.” He plopped down on the couch.

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. After fucking, you just want to say, ‘Get your shit and go,’ don’t you? But you know how it is; gotta play the nice, ‘Oh, I really want you to stay here with me,’ role just in case you might need that ass another time.”

  “You got that right,” Stephon said, slamming his fist against mine.

  “So, uh, I hate to ask you this, but do you want something to drink?”

  “No, thank you! A tall, cold glass of ice water will be just fine.”

  “Just in case you forgot, I don’t serve water to my guests, so get your ass up and go in the kitchen and get it yourself.”

  Stephon went to the kitchen, and I went to the bathroom. “Say, man, I ordered us some Chinese food,” I yelled.

  “Oh yeah?” Stephon yelled from the kitchen. “What did you order?”

  “I ordered some—ahhhhh, shit!”

  “Some what?” he yelled back.

  “Damn! What the fuck!” I yelled, leaning my hand up against the wall and holding my dick in my other hand.

  Stephon rushed to the bathroom door. “Man, what the fuck you doing?”

  “My dick is on fire! This motherfucker straight up feel like fire shooting out of it.”

  “Fool, quit playing.”

  “Playing? Do I look like I’m—ahhhhh, shit!”

  The doorbell rang, but I w
as in no condition to get it. “That’s probably our food. Get the money off the table and give it to them. And don’t give him a tip because he late. They told me ten minutes and it’s been thirty-five.”

  “Man, you knew they weren’t going to get here in no ten minutes.”

  “Well, they shouldn’t be lying to people by telling them that bullshit all the time then. So, whatever you do, don’t give him a tip.”

  Stephon laughed and went to the door. I slid my thang back into my pants, flushed the toilet, and washed my hands. I took slow steps entering the kitchen. Stephon cracked up as he removed the boxes from the bag.

  “What in the fuck is so funny? I need a doctor,” I said, looking for my doctor’s number on the refrigerator.

  “Jay, it ain’t like you gon’ die or nothing. I know her office closed today, so you might as well wait until tomorrow. Sounds like you might have a STD.”

  “Damn, does it have to burn like that? I ain’t never got caught up with no shit like this, and if that’s what it is, I’m gon’ mess somebody up.”

  “Yes, it burns like hell. Happened to me a couple of times. That’s why I be telling you to strap your shit up. Ain’t no telling where some of these tricks been.”

  “I do strap myself up—most of the time. I’ve had two women within the last week, and the condom ripped with the one I had last night. I guess I know where to place the blame.”

  “You gotta take responsibility too if you want to continue getting down like you do. It’s too much shit out there now. And since motherfuckers dropping off like flies, I make sure I strap my ass up no matter what.”

  “I know, but the condoms just don’t fit right. They be sliding off and everything. I’m gon’ have to strap up my handler with a trash bag or something.”

  We cracked up, and then started to chow down on the rice.

  “So, what was up with Scorpio last night? Are y’all still kicking it or what?”

  “Nope. Not right now anyway. I’m sure I’ll be back in them panties soon.”

  “What happened? I mean, I didn’t even know she could get down like that.”