Tripping Me Up

by Amber Garza

  “Um…” Tripp scratches the back of his neck with his free arm. “Maybe. I’ve got a lot of stuff I have to do around the house, but I’ll text you.”

  Biting my lip, I nod. “Okay.”

  After he jogs off toward the locker room, I sink down onto the bench next to Paige and sigh.

  “What’s up?” She looks up from her phone. “Why are you sighing like something’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know. I’m just worried about Tripp.”

  “Why? Because he blew the game or because his mom’s a nutjob?”

  A surprised giggle leaps from my throat. I swat Paige on the leg. “Stop. That’s not nice.”

  “But it’s true, right?”

  I want to protest and say Tripp did not blow the game, but then again he thought he did too. So instead I address the other issue. “His mom is not a nutjob.” I scour the stands to be sure no one is overhearing us talk about Tripp’s family. Luckily we are pretty much the only people still here. There are a few stragglers further down the bleachers and a couple kids down on the field, but other than that the place has cleared out.

  “She seemed pretty weird.”

  “Not weird,” I say thinking aloud. “Just nervous or something.”

  “Weird.” Paige bobs her head up and down as if her mind is made up.

  I wave away her words. “Doesn’t matter. I’m not worried about that. I’m kinda worried that maybe he isn’t into me anymore or something.”

  “Are you kidding me? I just saw the two of you together. He’s totally into you. It was kinda gross actually.”

  I smile at that. “Yeah, but once his parents left he acted all distant. Then when I asked if we could get together tomorrow, he wasn’t sure.”

  “Hadley, you’re reading too much into this. The boy likes you. A lot. Trust me.” Paige sighs heavily. “Look, I know you’ve never had a boyfriend before, Hads, but don’t be all clingy and stuff. Guys hate that. Just give him space. He’ll come around.”

  “Okay.” I bite my lip, mulling over her words.

  “Let’s get outta here.” She clamps her hand on my shoulder. “I’ve had enough testosterone to last me a lifetime. Wanna grab an ice cream or something?”

  “Yeah.” I stand up. As Paige and I walk to the parking lot, I try not to worry about Tripp. I’m sure that Paige is right. He probably just needs a little space. I’m sure everything’s fine.

  However, by Sunday night I’m not so sure that everything is fine. I haven’t heard from Tripp all weekend. Not one phone call. Not even a text. As I lie in bed, my mind plays out so many awful scenarios. I imagine that he hooked up with Sonya after the game. Or perhaps his friends finally talked him into breaking up with a loser like me. Or maybe, just maybe I was right all along, and he doesn’t want me anymore because I’m no longer a challenge.

  Deciding to stop torturing myself with what if’s, I snatch my cell off of my nightstand and shoot off a text to Tripp.

  Me: Can u give me a ride 2 school 2morrow?

  I hold the phone in my hand, gripping it tightly while scarcely breathing. A few minutes later a text finally comes back.

  Tripp: Sure. Pick u up at 7:45.

  Me: Thanx.

  Tripp: Sure.

  I stare at the screen searching for a hidden meaning in the simple answers. Does he mean sure like it’s a given? Or sure like he supposes he can force himself to pick me up? Ugh. I fling myself back down on the bed. The sky is black outside my window, and I stare out at the twinkling stars. The wind kicks up and a tree branch scratches against the side of the house sounding like the stroke of a pencil against paper. I think back to the night that Tripp showed up at my window. I’d give anything to see him right now. Running my fingertips over the surface of my touch screen, I contemplate sending him another text. I want to remind him how much I like him. I want to say something sweet, or coy even. But I don’t know what. Besides, if he is over me do I really want to pour salt on the wound by opening up to him again?

  Dropping the phone back down on my nightstand, I rest my head on my pillow and pull my comforter up to my chin. I close my eyes, even though I’m sure I won’t get any sleep. I’m positive I’ll toss and turn, anxiously anticipating when Tripp picks me up in the morning.

  I don’t even wait for Tripp to come to the door. The minute I hear his car pull up, I grab my backpack and race outside. Getting ready took a lot longer this morning than usual. I spent a long time on my makeup and hair. I even wore a casual dress and a pair of boots. Paige is going to have a field day. I think the last time I wore a dress to school I was probably five. It’s just that I’m hoping to remind Tripp what he’s giving up if he decides to call it quits.

  Just the thought of that kills me. I swallow hard as I near his car. Tripp steps out of his car and walks toward me. He wears a navy blue shirt that clings to his muscles.

  “Hey, Hadley.” He smiles, opening the passenger door.

  “Good morning, Tripp.” Without waiting for his cue, I step forward and plant a kiss on his lips. Much to my satisfaction, he responds with vigor. His tongue shoots between my lips, exploring my mouth, while his arms circle my waist.

  “It is now,” he growls.

  I smile, slipping inside his car. My heart pounds in my chest as he closes the door. While he makes his way around the car, I take a couple of deep breaths. I’m certainly glad my risk paid off. It would’ve been beyond humiliating if he had rejected me when I tried to kiss him.

  Tripp jumps in, bringing his spicy scent with him. He starts the car and pulls away from the curb.

  “I missed you this weekend,” I say, fishing a little.

  His eyes darken as he stares out the front window. “Sorry. I just had a lot going on.”

  A lot going on? And it didn’t involve me? What does that mean? The words get caught in my throat. I don’t want to sound like a whiny, clingy girlfriend. “What did you do? Hang out with your friends or something?”

  His hand finds mine. “No, Hadley, nothing like that. I just had a lot of stuff to do for my parents. You know how it is.”

  I nod, even though I really don’t. My mom pretty much does everything around our house. She’s always said that my only job is to go to school and be a kid. “It was nice to meet your parents on Friday.”

  Tripp nods wordlessly and turns the corner.

  “Your mom was friendly.” When Tripp doesn’t answer, I find myself even more curious. “Tripp?” I turn in his direction, hoping he doesn’t get offended by my next question. “How do you know my dad? Is your mom one of his patients or something?”

  “No, she’s not.” He drops my hand, returning his to the steering wheel. My fingers feel cold without his touch, and I worry I’ve gone too far. “I just know him, that’s all.”

  I slink back in my seat, wondering why he’s being so secretive all of the sudden. When we were at the lake he said that I was the first girl he could open up to. Only now he’s shutting me out. Why? “Tripp? What’s going on with us?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It just seems like maybe you don’t want to be with me anymore,” I admit to him, the words making me feel sick.

  “No, Hadley, please don’t say that. Of course I want to be with you.” Tripp pulls into the school parking lot and guides his car into a parking space. After shutting off the engine, he turns to me, taking my hands in his. “I’ve never wanted to be with anyone more than I want to be with you. There’s just a lot of stuff going on at home. I can’t really go into right now, but I’ll tell you soon. I promise. Can you just trust me?”

  “Of course.”

  Tripp slides his hand up the curve of my throat and rests it on my cheek. Then he kisses my lips softly. I rest my hand on his thigh and lean into him.

  “You drive me wild, Hadley Summers.” He sits back, exhaling. “Do you have any idea the kind of effect you have on me?” He rolls his head to the side so he’s facing me.

  “It can’t be worse than the effect you have on
me,” I tell him honestly.

  “I doubt that.” His knuckles graze my chin.

  “Tripp, I’ve had a crush on you for years. I liked you before you even knew I existed.”

  His face falls, and then I wish I’d kept that to myself. “I can’t believe I wasted so much time. I was such an idiot to have missed out on having you all this time.”

  “You’re not an idiot, Tripp.” I reach out and thread my fingers through his. “Very far from it, in fact.”

  “I think I’ll keep you around,” he says with a wink. “You’re good for me.”

  “I feel the same way.” Even though we are in the parking lot surrounded by kids that taunt and harass me, I feel safe and content. It’s amazing what Tripp has done for me. I’m so glad I opened up and let him in. I just hope I don’t lose him now.

  TWENTY-SIX

  TRIPP

  I hate that Hadley is second guessing our relationship. No matter how hard I’ve tried the last few days to convince her that everything is fine, I can tell that she has her doubts. Not that I blame her. I know I’ve been acting strange. It’s just that I’m trying to figure out the right time to tell her about my family. I’m also trying to come up with a good time to broach the subject of Hadley with my parents. I’ve got to convince them to let Hadley remain in my life. Sneaking around won’t work. I realized that this weekend when I couldn’t see her because Dad was home, and he watched me like a hawk.

  Last night I finally finished Hadley’s picture. It’s perfect and beautiful, just like she is. I’m thinking maybe I’ll open up to her about everything when I give it to her tonight after practice. Dad’s working late, so I’ll have plenty of time to see her. I shoot her off a text as I enter the locker room after school.

  Me: I have something for you.

  Hadley: What is it?

  Me: It’s a surprise. C u tonight?

  Hadley: Can’t wait!

  A smile flickers over my lips as I shove the phone into the pocket of my jeans.

  “Booty call?” Mav asks, coming up behind me.

  “No.” I shake my head.

  “Please tell me you weren’t texting nerd girl,” Mav says with an impatient sigh.

  I may have been friends with Maverick since we were kids, but he’s such a jerk when it comes to girls. I know he comes by it honestly. Both his brothers and his dad are chauvinist pigs.

  “Her name is Hadley.” I shove past him. “And I’d appreciate it if you’d talk nicely about her.”

  Mav follows closely at my heels, clamping a hand on my shoulder. A couple of the other guys turn in our direction. “What’s the deal with this chick, man? What kind of hold does she have on you?”

  “I just like her, okay?” I shrug his arm off. “Why do you care?’

  “I’m just trying to figure out why you’d choose nerd girl when you can have someone as hot as Sonya.”

  I whirl around, anger pumping through my veins. “I told you to stop calling her that.”

  “She must be damn good in the bedroom.”

  “I’m warning you.” I step forward until our chests are almost bumping.

  “I’ve heard it’s the nerdy ones who are into all kinds of crazy shit.” Mav smiles in a disgusting way, and some of the other guys join in with jeering and laughter. At the sound of their voices, I start to see red. “Since she’s into football players maybe you can bring her to the party at my house this weekend. We can all have a little fun with your pet.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about,” another voice rings out over my shoulder. Laughing circles me.

  Just thinking of anyone else putting their hands on Hadley erupts something dangerous inside of me. It’s like I had a wall suppressing all my anger and hostility deep inside, and in one moment the floodgates have opened and it all comes pouring out. “Hadley’s not my pet. She’s my girlfriend, and you will not ever touch her. Understand?”

  “Or you’ll what, dude?” Mav glowers at me. “You wouldn’t seriously hurt your best friend for that piece of trash, would you?”

  I can’t take it anymore. I rush him, tackling him to the ground. He lands with a thud, and I fall on top of him, my elbows scraping on the cement floor. “Hadley is not trash.” It feels good to get in the first punch. It doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the mailbox did, although my knuckles sting a little. Cheering and yelling sound out around us.

  Mav shoves me off and I teeter back a little before regaining my balance. His arm comes up to hit me, but I block it and then land another punch on his jaw.

  “Son of a bitch,” he growls, holding his face.

  But it doesn’t deter me. I’m finally sticking up for myself, and it feels good. Rage fills me, burning me up from the inside out. I lunge for him again.

  “Enough!” An authoritative voice booms.

  I freeze, the fight inside me withering. Hands reach for me, yanking me up roughly. Looking down, I see Mav’s face bleeding pretty badly. For once I’m not the one battered. I only have a little bruising on my hand.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Coach Russell screams in my face, the vein in his forehead throbbing like it does when he’s mad.

  As the ramifications of what I’ve done crash over me, I feel sick. I stand there silently, unable to formulate words.

  “Get outta here! Both of you!” Coach Russell shoves me harshly. “Come back when you’ve cooled off.”

  Without looking at anyone, I hurry out of the locker room, dread descending in my gut.

  I drive around for awhile before going home. I know I’m only postponing the inevitable, but I just can’t bring myself to face it yet. There’s a part of me that foolishly hopes Coach Russell won’t contact my dad. However, when I finally step inside my house an hour after the fight, my mom’s face tells me all I need to know.

  “Where is he?” I whisper to where she stands hovering in the doorway of the family room. The way she stands there shaking reminds me of a leaf so fragile it can be blown easily by something as gentle as a breeze.

  “Upstairs.” She points, her lips quivering.

  I hear a loud crash, causing both Mom and I to jump.

  “In your room,” she adds quietly.

  What’s he doing in my room?

  “Tripp?” Dad’s voice hollers. “That you?”

  Terror snakes around me, holding me in its grip. Mom scurries out of the room, and I wish I could hide with her. I clear my throat, and lift my chin. Time to face the music. The faster I get up there, the faster it will be over. It’s this reminder that has helped me endure many beatings. “Yes, sir.” Taking a deep, steadying breath, I start heading up the stairs.

  I inhale sharply when I set foot in my room. It's completely trashed, but it’s the ripped up pieces of Hadley’s face scattered on the floor that cause my heart to break. The picture I spent all those weeks on. It’s ruined.

  Kneeling in the carpet, I start to grapple at the scraps and fight against the urge to cry. A shadow casts over me and paints the carpet, as Dad towers over me.

  “Get up!” His hand crashes against the back of my head. “Don’t cry like a little baby.”

  The impact causes me to bite my tongue, and the metal taste of blood coats my mouth. Swallowing it down, I stand up. The second blow is to my stomach. This one is harder than the first and knocks the wind out of me. I struggle to suck in air, knowing the next one is coming soon. My knees buckle, but I stay upright.

  “You think fighting is fun, do you, son?”

  “No, sir,” I choke out the words.

  He shoves me against the wall. “Was it over that girl? The one that’s got you drawing again?”

  I hesitate, and he catches it.

  “I thought I told you to stop seeing her.”

  Again I want to lie, but the words lodge in my throat.

  “Have you been disobeying me?” Before I can answer, I’m struck in the stomach again.

  Bile rises in my throat, and I cough it down.

  “That’s eno
ugh,” Mom’s strangled voice calls out.

  Stunned, I turn to find her standing in the doorway as pale as a ghost. Dad turns an icy glare on her.

  “Let him be,” she says calmly, but her hands shake violently, betraying her fear.

  Dad shoves me back into the wall again, his face in mine. “I will not put up with this. You will shape up. Understand?” I nod. He releases me, and I exhale. When he turns his hardened expression on Mom, panic buds in my chest. I stay plastered to the wall, my body trembling violently, until he leaves. He slams my door on his way out, causing the window to rattle. The minute it’s safe, I fall to the ground and gather up all the pieces of Hadley’s picture.

  “How dare you question me,” Dad’s muffled voice travels under my door.

  I stiffen, my heart lurching.

  “I will not lose Tripp the way I lost Trevor. I won’t let you do it again.”

  “You will not mention that name in my house!”

  “But he’s my son!”

  Crack. Whimper. Crack. Slap.

  A shudder ripples through me, and I smother my ears with my hands. I can’t live like this anymore. When will it stop? A few minutes pass, and then I hear silence. So I let my hands fall to my sides and continue cleaning up my room. Dad may have made the mess, but it’ll be up to me to clean it. When I hear the door open, my head snaps up. Please don’t tell me he’s back for round two. I allow the breath I had been holding to escape through my gritted teeth when I realize it's Mom.

  She takes deliberate steps into the room. I don’t notice any bruising, but I know it’s there, hidden where no one can see, just like mine. Opening up her hand, she holds out a tape dispenser. “Maybe you can fix it,” her voice is small and unsure.

  “Mom.” I touch her face. “I’m so sorry.”

  She shakes her head, her eyes filling with tears. “It’s not your fault.” Leaning in close she whispers in my ear, “the picture is beautiful. I know she’ll love it.”

  I crumble at her kind words. “Mom, I should’ve helped you. I wish I could stand up to him.”