Love Reality

by Nana Malone

Ryan ached with the need to come. He gritted his teeth against the rawness of the need. Now they could go to the bedroom. She’d be more comfortable in the bed, then he’d make—

  Mia wrapped delicate fingers around him.

  An expletive flew out of his mouth before he could think. “Mia. Stop. I’m too close.” He groaned. “Too fucking close.”

  She just continued to work him. “You’re so big.” She tested the girth of him. “I can feel you shaking.”

  “I…Jesus…Mia…I…”

  Mia licked her lips as she stared down at where his jeans molded to his cock. “What’s the matter, Ryan?”

  “Mia—”

  She stroked him again, and his knees wobbled. His brain couldn’t focus. The only messages it was getting out were to his cock. Come. Come. Come. You know you want to. Just do it.

  When Ryan heard the sound of the zipper, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think of anything other than climbing on top of her and burying himself deep while she got a rug burn on her ass.

  When she released him, cool air caressed his erection. He thought it would help to cool him off, but it didn’t. It just reminded him that there was somewhere soft and warm he wanted to be.

  Mia’s delicate fingers wrapped around him again. “Are the condoms in the bedroom?”

  Oh fuck. His brain stuttered. Condoms? Right, yeah. “Pocket.” It was all he could manage as all his energy was still concentrating on not exploding in her hand.

  She rummaged around in his pocket until she found his wallet and pulled. She made quick work of the foil and gently rolled the latex onto his cock. Ryan watched her blankly as she worked it over him, unable to think, unable to move. Her hands were so soft.

  A mischievous glint lit her eyes, and he cursed. He clenched his teeth as Mia leaned down, placing a hot kiss on the tip. He lost it. To hell if she ended up with rug burn, he wasn’t waiting. He smoothed his hands down her backside and scooped her up, forcing her thighs to splay and her legs to wrap around him.

  Her hot sex hovered directly over his cock, and he slowly slid her down on top of him. Her big, blue eyes widened in shock, then she moaned low, and his vision went blurry as she sank over him, inch by excruciating inch. Knowing he wasn’t steady on his feet, Ryan lifted her up onto the counter.

  He retreated until only the tip of his cock was still inside her then he slid home again. As he continued to slide into her, he kissed her using his tongue in the same way that he used his cock. The tingle started at the base of his spine, and he knew he’d be gone soon, but not before giving her another orgasm. He circled her nipple with his thumb and forefinger, and her breath caught. But still she didn’t come. He slid his hand between them. She was so slick already. Timing his stroke with his cock, he ran his thumb over her clit.

  Again and again, he worked her. Mia grunted and lay back on the counter, giving him access to hit her deeper. Holding her legs wide as his thumb circled her clit and his cock pumped her deep. Sweat dripped off his forehead onto her body, and he groaned. He leaned forward, sucking her nipple. “Come, for me, Mia.”

  Finally, he felt the walls of her sex convulse, and a harsh cry tore out of her throat. Her body clamped around his cock like a vise, and his vision blurred.

  “That’s it, baby.” With two more thrusts, the edges of his vision went black, and he joined her in oblivion.

  Chapter Thirty

  “You know, this would all go smoother if you just admit that you have feelings for me and we can do away with all the formalities.”

  Mia glanced down at her shoulder as Dorian gave it a squeeze. She glanced back up at him then pointedly at her shoulder again. “Did you know that you’re touching me? I’m pretty sure we established the no-touching perimeter early on. Let me know if you need that lesson again.”

  Ignoring her, he squeezed her shoulder again. With her fury bubbling so close to the surface, she forced herself to take a deep breath and simply reached up and twisted his hand off. When she spoke, she made sure it was loud enough so the PA and the rest of the crew milling about heard her. “I don’t know how many more ways to tell you I’m not interested in you touching me, like ever. So let me put it in terms that you’ll understand.” She cleared her throat for effect. “The last guy that put his hands on me uninvited ended up face-down in the Hudson. Care to take your chances?”

  Dorian narrowed his gaze and took a step toward her, but thankfully, Larissa sidled up to her. “’Sup, my love, is this turd bothering you?”

  Mia suppressed a smile. “He was just leaving.”

  Larissa, bless her, twisted her expression into one of mock pity. “Oh, poor thing, he realizes that tonight is his last night. After tonight, you make the choices, and he knows he won’t be making the grade. You can understand it must be very depressing for him. He must be feeling desperate.”

  He scowled and looked like he might kill her bestie.

  Mia put a hand up. “Corners, both of you. I’m not interested in cleaning blood off this jacket. I might want to keep it.” For tonight’s show, they’d dressed her in a stark white, knee-length, pap sleeve dress and fitted her in a fabulous jacket with African print made by designer Christie Brown. She loved it and hoped if nothing else from the show she’d get to keep it.

  Dorian mumbled something under his breath but then stalked out of the greenroom. Larissa just scowled.

  Larissa muttered, “Honey, I thought we had an arrangement. You would not be spending any alone time with that douche bag.”

  “Yeah that was the plan, then he just rolled up in here. God, I loathe him. Actually loathe. Like if he fell off the face off the earth, I wouldn’t be mad about it.”

  “That’s a bandwagon I can help drive.” Larissa dusted an imaginary piece of fluff off Mia’s jacket. “So I anticipate your night went well?” she asked with a sly smile.

  Mia didn’t bother trying to hide her grin. “Yes, thank you.” After the car had taken her back to Larissa’s, she’d barely been able to say goodnight to her best friend before skipping out the front door for the cameras. “It was just what I needed.” She hadn’t wanted to leave the hotel, and for that matter, Ryan hadn’t wanted to let her go. It’s only another couple of weeks. She could do anything for that long.

  “Glad to be of service.” Larissa checked her watch. “Listen, I gotta go and check on things. You’ll be okay?”

  It was so weird being on this side of the production. “Yes, fine. Matt’s here anyway. I want to talk to him and Jameson.”

  Mia nodded, and as soon as Larissa left, she joined her two favorite Prince Charmings by the Kraft services table. “You guys ready for this to be over?”

  Jameson, the consummate flirt that he was, shook his head. “What? And stop spending time with you? Never.”

  “I’m glad you understand she’s not picking you.” Matt laughed.

  Jameson rolled his eyes. “She’s not picking you either. Unless you changed your name to Ryan overnight.”

  Mia flushed. “Is it that obvious?”

  Jameson just laughed. “From that first date, we all understood he was the one to beat if any of us actually wanted a shot. And well, after they showed footage of the two of you on a private date, that sort of sealed the deal. Wish I’d thought of that.”

  She shrugged. “Sorry about that.”

  His eyes were kind as he gave her a sad smile. “So what do you need? You know you’re not supposed to be talking to us at this point in the game unless the cameras can catch it, don’t you?”

  Mia laughed. “You know I can’t be bothered with rules.”

  He winked at her. “Good point. So what’s up?”

  Mia slid a glance around before she asked, “Do you guys remember Victor? I know on his show, he was the favorite; Caitlin seemed to really be into him then he was gone. Do you know of any other guys that were derailed?”

  Matt and James exchanged a glance. Matt spoke first. “Look, don’t worry about it. If you’ve already made it this far with Ryan
in the running, then you’re practically home free. He’ll be one of your final choices. Especially since he’s a fan favorite.”

  She shrugged. “Can’t help but worry.”

  James frowned. “Well, it’s not a sure thing, exactly. Remember what happened to Sanders and Emily? He was a favorite of hers but mysteriously bowed out of the competition. He really was into her too. And Andrew from the season before his. All those guys were expected to go all the way. But something happened.”

  “Do you think the producers made them go away?”

  Again furtive glances. Matt shook his head. “I’m saying don’t worry about it. It’ll be cool. Ryan seems like a straight-shooter. After tonight, you get to choose your guys. If he’s not hiding anything, it’ll be smooth sailing.”

  He wasn’t hiding anything. At least from her. She knew he was a reporter, but the producers didn’t know. And there was no way of them finding out, so he should stay safe. “I don’t think he’s got anything to hide.”

  “See, then you’re safe. Stop worrying. This will all be over soon.”

  “I appreciate it, guys. I’m glad you were in the pool of guys to make it this far.”

  “Ryan seems like a good dude. Don’t let Jamie ruin your happiness.”

  A click clack on the concrete floor accompanied by slimy cold slithering over Mia’s skin alerted her to Jamie’s presence.

  “How’s our superstar? Are you ready to go? We need to do a lighting check.”

  Mia turned and plastered a smile on her face. All she had to do was survive this taping. Then she was practically home free. “Sure thing. Lead the way.” Turning to Matt and Jameson, she smiled. “Thanks for chatting, guys, I’ll see you both out there. Good luck.”

  Jamie clapped her on the back as they walked. “You’re learning to play the game.”

  Mia pulled her lips back, showing her teeth in a poor facsimile of a smile. “I learned from the best, didn’t I?”

  Chapter Thirty-one

  “You don’t have to do this, Mia.”

  She squeezed Ryan’s hand. After the vote, he’d opted to come with her to meet her mother. Still sensitive to their contract, they kept it on the down low, and Ryan had arranged for the manager to let them in through the back and use the VIP bar during happy hour. “I know. But if I don’t, Jamie can use her against me again, and I don’t want that. And I can’t run forever. Better to face my past, right?”

  He kissed her on the forehead and whispered, “You’re really brave. I’ll be right there in the corner if you need me, okay?”

  She nodded.

  “Are you sure you don’t want your family here for this?”

  “No. Too awkward, and outside of Dee and Derek and Dylan, no one else knows their parents, so I don’t want to open a can of worms or anything.”

  “I get you.” He nodded toward the bar. “Looks like she’s here already.”

  One glance told her he was right. He squeezed her hand once more then left her be. What the hell did she say to the mother she hadn’t seen in over a decade?

  She went with, “Hi.”

  Her mother whirled around, her anxious expression relaxing. “Oh, my goodness. I wasn’t sure you were going to come. I’d started to worry. Not really my kind of place.”

  Mia suddenly felt bad. She should never have picked a fancy speakeasy to do this. She’d selected it because they had a great menu and she’d known she’d need a drink to make it through this. “I’m sorry I ran the other day. I should have stayed and talked to you. It was just too much.”

  Her mother ducked her head. “When the producer contacted me, I thought you had been looking for me and they were surprising you. I had no idea you didn’t know.”

  Mia pursed her lips. “Yeah, that’s the way they roll apparently.”

  Her mother reached out hesitantly but then drew her hand back. “You look beautiful, sweetheart. Gorgeous. I…I’ve missed you over the years.”

  Mia listened to the words that flowed, and they sounded sincere. The woman in front of her even looked like she meant them. But she couldn’t easily forget what she’d put her through. “I have a good family. They’ve taken great care of me.”

  “I…I, uh, I heard you’d been adopted.”

  “Why are you here? Why now? I know you’ve been looking for me for the last year, but why?”

  Francine swallowed hard. “I went through a program.” She sniffed and used the back of her hand to wipe her nose. “I need to apologize to you. I…I wasn’t a good mother.”

  Mia blinked back the tears as the dark cloud of memories washed over her. “Why did you leave me? I cried for you. The food ran out after a day, and I had nothing to eat. I could have died. Where were you?”

  “I don’t even remember. I was messed up. And I could barely take care of myself, let alone a little girl. But I loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

  The problem was, Mia knew what love was now. Knew that it meant putting someone else’s needs above your own. “Were you working?”

  Francine frowned. “What?”

  “Did you leave me to go and find work? Or get me food and you got hurt or something?”

  “I…I don’t—”

  Mia nodded. “You don’t remember. Right. Why didn’t you leave me with a neighbor or someone who could be more equipped to look after me?”

  Francine sobbed in earnest. “I’m sorry, okay? It was the best I could do at the time. I wasn’t supposed to be gone long. But Roger got picked up, and I had to get him out.”

  Roger. The name produced an image deep from the recesses of her mind. A man, too skinny, possibly strung out on something. Bearded. He always smelled of beer and stale sweat. He hadn’t liked her. He hadn’t abused her; he’d just been intolerant of having her around.

  “I remember him. You left me behind to take care of him.” All the anger and pain from the years she’d wished for her mother bubbled to the surface. “You didn’t care what happened to me. I was little more than a baby. If you didn’t care then, why should I believe you care now?”

  Francine reached for her, but Mia pulled back.

  “I need you, Mia, you’re my daughter.”

  The disappointment was palpable as the sadness washed over her. “Why are you back really? What is it you want?”

  Francine shifted her gaze. “I hoped we’d have more time.” She licked her lips. “I’m sick. I need a new kidney. I’m clean now. But the years of drinking and drugs messed me up, and I’m not eligible for any lists because of my past with alcohol. But they can do transplants from family if they are a match.”

  “So you came to me.”

  The older woman licked her lips nervously. “I feel like my illness brought us together. And I want—”

  “You need to stop right there and tell me the absolute truth. It’s the only way I’ll be inclined to help you.” She leaned forward. “Are you here for me, or are you here for a kidney?”

  Her mother’s face flushed, and Mia could see the truth laid out. Mia didn’t even let her finish. Without a word, she slid from the bar stool and went to find Ryan.

  * * *

  Ryan glanced up from his laptop and blinked in surprise. “You’re done so soon?”

  “Yeah, I’m done. She didn’t come for me. She came for a kidney.”

  He blinked and shook his head. “Say what?”

  “Apparently she thought she’d show up and I’d hack off a kidney for her.”

  He scrubbed a hand down his face. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Mia.”

  She sniffed deep and tilted her chin up. “Let’s go.”

  He slid his hat on, and they went through the back. Once they arrived at her apartment, he went through the service entrance while she went in the front door of the building. He met her at her door. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yeah. I’m just drained.” She smacked her forehead. “Crap, in all the anxiousness over my mother, I completely forgot to tell you. I talked to Matt tonight. He had some inte
resting things to say. Jamie has been manipulating the show for years.”

  He locked his jaw. “I thought we had a deal, Mia. You were done playing sleuth.”

  “You had a deal. I agreed to nothing.”

  His gaze slipped to her lips. “Jameson told me you were asking questions about previous seasons. Are you insane? I asked you to back off. Let me poke the dragon. I have a very mean pit bull who will protect me. Jamie can still affect you. You have to stay out of it, Mia.”

  She sighed. “I’m not the little woman stay-in-the-corner type. I thought you got that.”

  He took her hand. “I do, but Jamie isn’t fucking around.”

  “I can take care of myself. The only thing that’s getting to me is I still have two weeks of work and the show.”

  “It’s okay, no big deal. It’s almost over.” And thank God. If he had to watch one more week as guy after guy tried his luck with Mia, he was going to go slowly insane. He hated it. But he wasn’t going to tell her that. She still had a game to play. A show to put on for the world. “Do you want to hear the good news?”

  “What’s that?”

  “I found Victor. Or rather, my investigator did.”

  A grin flashed across her face. “That’s fantastic. Where is he?”

  “Toronto. He’s coaching at a football camp up there.”

  Her brows rose. “But he’s a Superbowl winner. A bit far to fall.”

  “I know, right?”

  “When do we leave?”

  Of course she would want to go. “Remember that part about you letting me take it from here? Well this is that time. Besides, Jamie will wonder where the hell you’re going.”

  She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Fine, but call me as soon as you talk to him.”

  “Done deal.” Then to distract her a little, he asked, “How is the job hunt going?”

  “Slow. I’d hoped to have something lined up, but things are moving at a glacial pace. At this point, I need to put my show idea on the back burner and just get a job.”

  “You’ll find something. I can make a couple—”