Love Reality

by Nana Malone

  The real question was, which article had he read? “I don’t understand. If you talked to Chris, then you know they offered me a features position with the paper. And honestly, I’m not looking to do the same thing. Especially not the article I wrote about Love Reality.”

  “We prefer the second, more expose style, you did on the Love Reality show. We like what you did; obviously, the writing is strong. But we want a different tone. I’ve been looking at your whole body of work. You are a bit of a storyteller, and we want to use that. In-depth pieces on specific subjects.”

  Ryan choked as he tried to find the right words. Finally he managed, “Oh?”

  “Honestly, we’re getting ahead of ourselves a bit. Listen, would you be open to coming down for a chat in the next couple of days to talk about the opportunities I see for you here?”

  They wanted to see him. Talk to him. About an opportunity. “I’m free all next week.”

  “Fantastic. I’ll email you the details. I’m excited about what we could do together.”

  As he hung up with Frankie, he stared at his phone. With an opportunity like this in his lap, he should have been ecstatic. But he wasn’t. It was because of Mia that he even had this opportunity. All he wanted to do was go and tell her. But of course he couldn’t.

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  This was it. After tonight, it was finally over. Mia would have her life back.

  Unfortunately, she would also likely be looking for a job. But that was okay. There was no way she could work with Jamie after everything that had happened.

  But one step at a time. All she had to do was get through tonight…with Ryan.

  She placed a hand on her belly to quiet the twisting and roiling. She hadn’t seen or spoken to him in three days, not since he’d asked her to think about being with him. Before he’d exposed her for all the world for to see.

  Filming this week had focused on the guys and what they were doing to wow her for proposal. Her world tilted a little as she considered what it would be like to have Ryan propose to her. No. Don’t think about that. Better to stay rooted in reality.

  And reality was that he was somewhere in the building. So far, with the assistance of Larissa and a couple of the makeup girls, she’d managed just fine. No sight of him.

  “I guess I wasn’t worth a grand gesture after all,” she muttered to herself. Not that she was upset about that. Liar. But the last thing she needed was some awkward interaction right before she had to go on camera. That would only mess with her head.

  It wasn’t until one of the PA’s led her to the study in the mansion that she breathed a sigh of relief. So close. With a rustle of the breeze coming through the window and the scent of sandalwood carried on the air, she felt rather than heard him. Her heart hammered, and she reached out an arm to steady herself. Oh God. The pull was as strong as always, that chemical that told her body his was near and she needed to be as close to him as possible, touching. It wreaked havoc on her will power.

  “Mia.”

  Holding her breath, she savored the sound of her name on his tongue. The way he said it was like a caress down her back with his lips. Like the last time they’d touched. Like the last time they’d kissed. She kept silent.

  His breath was hot on the nape of her neck, and she could feel the heat rolling off his body in waves. He was close enough to touch. If he moved forward an inch, if she moved backward an inch, they’d be touching front to back. What would happen then? How would he touch her? Nope, don’t go there.

  Ryan cleared his throat. “I don’t want to disturb you. I know you have to go on in a minute. I just wanted to give you this.” He slipped an envelope into her loosened hand before adding, “I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but I would like it if you’d at least read it and hear me with an open heart.”

  Mia stood, unable to move, let alone breathe, for several long moments, unsure of how to respond. What to say, what to do? Finally, her body won out, and she exhaled a shuddering breath. She turned to face him, but he was already gone.

  “Are you ready?”

  Mia blinked rapidly as she realized Jamie had joined her from the patio. “I-I-uh, I think so.”

  Her soon-to-be-former boss narrowed her gaze at her. “What’s wrong with you? Don’t you dare think of backing out of this. If you do, I’ll destroy you.”

  “I’m not backing out. I’m going through with it.” The next line was out of her mouth before she could remember to bite her tongue. “You know what? You don’t have to threaten me. It just shows your weakness when that’s your default. You should know by now I keep my word. I said I’d do this show, and I will. I’ll just do it my way. And there’s no amount of threatening that will make me do exactly what you want.” She shrugged. “Besides, you’ve already taken the one thing I care about.”

  Jamie chuffed. “Well, look who grew a pair. If I’d have seen some of that earlier, you might still have a show.”

  Mia winced at the mention of her now defunct show. But she immediately lifted her chin. There was no way she was letting Jamie know she affected her. “It was never going to do with you as my mentor anyway. You would have sucked the life out of it and me, so it’s all for the best.”

  Jamie tilted her chin up. “You are such an ungrateful bitch. You wouldn’t be where you are without me. I made you. You would just be some unknown blogger if it weren’t for me. I’m still one of the most powerful producers in television.”

  “A producer without her flagship show. It won’t take long for people to figure out you’re a fraud. No one likes to be manipulated, Jamie, especially not an audience.”

  Jamie looked like she wanted to say something else, but then she stalked back out onto the patio to talk to one of the sound guys.

  Mia checked the wall clock. Ten minutes to the final live choosing. When she told Larissa and her sister what she planned, they’d told her she was crazy. And maybe she was, but it would be what she wanted, and she would do it on her own terms.

  Glancing down at the envelope in her hands, the she rubbed her thumb over the sealed seam. She wanted to open it, wanted to hear the explanations she’d been avoiding for the past few days.

  He’d taken the time to write her a letter. Her heart fluttered just a little. He’d been paying attention. Not an email, not a text, a letter. Butterflies fluttered low in her belly, and she knew she was in trouble. If a simple gesture could make her melt, then she was in for a world of heartbreak because he could destroy her.

  Carefully, she folded the letter and stuck it into the pocket of her dress. Right now, it was time to take her life back. Later, she’d deal with Ryan Matthews.

  In the mirror she checked the makeup job and smiled. She looked more like herself today and less like the brown Kardashian sister. She’d begged makeup to avoid the Jamie treatment where she usually ended up looking like a lacquered Barbie doll. Tonight she wanted to look like Mia.

  The sound piece in her ear alerted her to the countdown. At the designated time, she walked out onto the expansive patio, among the lights over the Prince Charmings.

  Corbin gave his usual last show intro. And for the first fifteen minutes, she followed the script, answered the questions posed to her, then it was time. Time to choose a Prince Charming.

  The area off the stage was lined with hedges, tropical flowers, and dimmed floodlights, marking the path to a three pronged fork in the path. She knew Adam was down to the left. Jason was straight down the middle. And Ryan, well, he was down to the right. At the fork, she turned to look at the men she’d dated over the last several weeks. Some were fun, others were jerks. And as hard as she found it to believe, some had actually tried to win her heart. But from the start, it had always belonged to Ryan.

  Even now as she stood on her solo path, her body wanted to move down that pathway. To fall into his arms. To let it be easy. But she couldn’t. Maybe he was right. Maybe she did think she was unworthy of love. It didn’t matter though. She’d done this show to help he
r realize her dream. That dream was off its path for the moment, but she’d get it there. She’d never expected to fall in love along the way though. If she and Ryan were going to have a chance, it wasn’t going to be as a result of this show.

  Instead of picking a path as expected, she chose her own path and headed back for Corbin, who looked perplexed and fumbled for words.

  Luckily, Mia knew exactly what to say. “I’m sorry, Corbin, but I can’t make a choice today. I can’t pick a path, because from the beginning, I should have traveled my own path, and I didn’t. I’m sure you’ve all seen the Single Guy article by now, and I’d like you to know the allegations are true. This show is not about true love. At least it’s not for me.”

  Jamie came toward her as Mia removed the mic pack from her back, but she ignored the woman and kept on shedding electronics.

  “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?” She hissed. “Get back up there and make a choice.”

  “Why? So you can try to bully me into a fake marriage all so you can film it? No thanks.” She lifted her skirts and headed down the stone staircase. “Oh, in case there was any question in your mind, I quit.”

  Mia picked up her pace, kicking off her shoes as she bolted. She didn’t dare suck in air again until she climbed into the back of a waiting limo. For the first time in months, she felt like she could breathe.

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  “You know you broke Twitter, right?”

  Mia tugged her blankets further around her and ignored Larissa’s banging outside her apartment door. She was laying low. Like very low. Like, so low she wasn’t ever leaving her apartment again.

  Last night, security had called to tell her that there was a mob of reporters outside her building. She’d snuck in through the back, but it was only a matter of time before the paparazzi had figured out her little escape route.

  “Go away, Larissa. I’m not in the mood.”

  She could hear her best friend sigh. “I’m dead serious. You broke it. For about ten minutes after you told Jamie where she could shove it, the site went down. Completely.”

  Perfect. She’d managed to stay away from Twitter and the social media sites for the time being. So she didn’t know what people were saying about her. Over the course of the last few weeks, people obviously had their favorites, and Ryan was at the top of the lists, so no doubt she had some serious haters. “I appreciate you coming over here, but I’m fine. I just want to stay here and not move, again…ever.”

  “Not going to happen, honey. Now get up and open the door.”

  “No.”

  For a minute, she thought Larissa had left, then she heard the turning of the lock, and she sat up. “What the fuck?”

  Her friend merely smirked and shut the door behind her. “I have a spare key for when I water your plants, remember?”

  “Damn it.”

  “Yeah, well, I was giving you a chance to open up on your own. Honey, you can’t stay in here and hide all day. You eventually have to deal.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “No, I don’t. I can just duck my head for a little while, while I figure out what to do next.”

  Larissa dropped her giant leather hobo bag onto the coffee table before lifting Mia’s legs and plopping herself on the far end of the couch. “Since when is hiding your thing?”

  Mia raised a brow. “Uh, have we met?”

  Her friend smirked. “Yeah okay, good point, but I’m not going to let you hide now. Twitter isn’t the only thing you broke. The ‘Lonely Girl’ website is down too.”

  Damn. She swung her legs off the couch, ready to grab her laptop. “Shit. How did that happen?”

  “Well, when you have millions of people trying to access your site, that will happen. And you can relax—I already called Chloe; she’s on it. And I got one of the interns at LR that’s a total fan to start trolling for negative comments and spam to delete them.”

  Mia sagged back in her spot, letting the soft cushions envelope her. “Thank you. I guess I didn’t think about how the show would affect everything in the end.”

  “No problem, that’s what bad-ass sidekicks are for.”

  Mia might not have been feeling particularly cheery, but Larissa always had a way of making her smile. “We both know you’re not the sidekick. I’m the sidekick.”

  “Whatevs. I’m the one with the sick one-liners, so clearly I’m the sidekick. We need to brush you up on your superhero shows and movies. How about some Lost Girl? Guaranteed to cheer you up.”

  “Thanks, but I sort of want to be alone right now.”

  Larissa pursed her lips, then her eyes drifted to the envelope that Mia held in her hand. “What is that?”

  She slid her gaze away from her friend’s inquisitive eyes. “It’s a letter…from Ryan.”

  Larissa blinked rapidly. “And you haven’t opened it?”

  Mia shook her head.

  “Okay, can I ask why not?”

  “I’m not sure I want to hear what he has to say.”

  Larissa rolled her eyes. “I love you, sweetie, but you’re an idiot. You finally have a chance at real love, and you’re blowing it. Yes, he fucked up and I still want to flay his balls—don’t worry we’ll leave enough of him intact so you can still make pretty babies—but after a period of appropriate groveling, I think you should hear him out. Because I’ve never seen you that happy or sparky. He forces you to feel and emote even when you don’t want to.”

  Mia sniffed deep. “I’m terrified of loving him.”

  Larissa nodded. “Well, love, the real stuff is scary. It’s not some picture-perfect, romantic fairytale. It leaves scars, and it’s sloppy, and people say the wrong thing and do the wrong thing and make mistakes. Hell, I’m the chick notorious for farting on the first date.”

  Despite herself, a laugh bubbled out of Mia. “Oh Larissa.”

  “Sad but true.” She shrugged. “So open the damn letter already. I’m going to make you something to eat.”

  “I don’t need you to take care of me.”

  “Have you seen the state of this place? I’m going to order pizza from around the corner. I’ll pick it up because you know the delivery guy takes so freaking long it’s always cold. I swear that guy stops to smoke a joint before he comes, every time. While I’m gone, read the letter. Then we can deconstruct the whole thing.”

  As Larissa stood and snatched up her purse, Mia grabbed her hand. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “Good thing you never have to figure it out. Besides, you’d survive. That’s what you always do.”

  Mia stared at the letter for another long moment, unsure of what she’d find, when her phone rang. The caller ID showed a number she didn’t recognize. “Hello?” she answered.

  “Hello, am I speaking with Mia Donovan?”

  She hesitated. “Who’s calling?”

  “This is Sam Reardon from Afix studios.”

  An immediate shot of adrenaline hit her nervous system, and her heart roared into full gallop. “Uh, yes, this is Mia.”

  She could hear the smile in his voice. “Yes, I recognized your voice from the show. Very distinctive.”

  “W-what can I do for you?”

  “I want to set a meeting with you to discuss your show.”

  Her show? Hope inflated the bubble of despair momentarily before she remembered that her original show was now polluted by Jamie and that Trent Productions now owned it.

  The words ripped out of her throat, but she had to say them. “I’m so sorry. But that show was sold to Trent. I’ll need to wait two years for them to either do something with it or not. And in two years, I’m not sure if I’ll even be running the ‘Lonely Girl’ blog anymore.”

  “Oh no, this isn’t for the Lonely Girl show, though that would be a great idea and cute, but there’s a dearth of dating programming. What I’m interested in is your family saga pitch about the twelve adopted multicultural siblings.”

  She frowned. But that was
n’t even a real show. It was just an idea she’d mentioned to—Ryan.

  He’d pulled a string for her. Her bubble of elation shriveled.

  “I appreciate the call, but the show isn’t even sketched out yet. It is just an idea, and I appreciate you calling, especially since I know Ryan put you up to it. You didn’t have to.”

  There was a beat of silence. “Mia, I recognize the shit show that was happening over at Love Reality. I know Jamie Lee has tried to blackball you around town to make sure you don’t get another job in production. And I’m telling you I don’t care. Do you really want to throw away an opportunity to put a compelling show on the air just because Ryan opened a door for you?”

  Well, when he put it like that. “I…”

  He didn’t let her finish. “And let’s be clear, Miss Donovan, he may have jimmied the door open for you, but you had better sell me this show. Otherwise, I’m not sure you’ll have many other opportunities. Now how is Monday morning at eight for you?”

  Holy shit. Was this really happening? “I…yes, I will be there. I appreciate the opportunity to speak with you.”

  After she hung up, she threw the blanket off. Her first instinct…call Ryan. After everything, she still wanted to share good news with him before anyone else, even Dylan or Delilah or Larissa. She had a shot, a real shot, at this. Now all she had to do was wow him. Never mind that she had nothing mapped out for a show about her family. It was Friday, so luckily she had all weekend. But first things first, she picked up the crumpled envelope off the floor and tore it open. She pulled out the letter, and his clear script appeared. She could do this. It was just a letter.

  Dear Mia,

  Let me start with what I know to be true. I love you. I might have fallen in love with you when you out ate me in that pizza parlor or when you raced me to the subway in your heels after dancing in Spanish Harlem. The details of that I’m not sure of, but I know that I love you.