Forever Ride

by Chelsea Camaron

  That’s not to say I was completely innocent. I did agree to marry him even though I wasn’t in love with him. I played my part in the downfall of our relationship. I wonder, though, was any of our relationship remotely real? He was following his agenda from the very beginning. We were both forcing something that needed to come naturally. We were both running, him from his reputation and me from my own insecurities. Yet, neither of us has been successful in our endeavor to be free.

  ~Tank~

  She’s here, but there is a lot to sort out. I am not going to push her since she is under enough pressure already. Nick, though, that fucker, I will push like he’s never been pushed before. Walking in to find him giving her hell. I don’t know what happened before I got there, but I’m far from done with that piece of shit.

  After changing the sheets on the bed and then grabbing extras for the couch, I make my way to the kitchen. Doll and Sass are still in the living room talking, so I go into the kitchen to make dinner. Not thinking, I make tacos since it’s easy and I can follow the instructions on the box. I guess the smell is too much because, suddenly, Sass jumps up and rushes to the bathroom.

  I turn off the burner to the stove and follow Doll to check on her. When I get back there, Doll is holding her hair back for her when, suddenly, she’s leaning over my bathtub joining Sass in the upheaval of their stomach contents. Sass waves me out of the room, so I go to call Tripp.

  “Tank,” he answers.

  “Your ol’ lady isn’t feelin’ so hot, man. Thought you’d wanna know.”

  “Where is she? What do you mean by not feelin’ so hot?”

  “Well, I know she called and told you Sass was coming here so she would be at my house not Roundman’s. Well, Sass got sick and now Doll is, too.”

  “Oh, hell.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You think she needs me there?”

  “I don’t fuckin’ know. I just know, if my woman was across the state from me, pukin’ and was as stubborn as Doll, I’d wanna know, so I’m tellin’ ya.”

  “With what’s going on, I’ll make a few calls to handle some shit here and then get on the road. See ya tomorrow sometime.”

  We disconnect and I take the girls some water to sip. They are both cleaning up when I reach the doorway.

  “Here,” I hand them each a glass of water, “sip this. I’m gonna go to the store and get some ginger ale and crackers. Both of you go lay down. Tripp’s gonna come tomorrow, Doll. The flu has been going around and shit, so he’s comin’ to see to ya.”

  Chapter

  18

  My Future

  ~Sass~

  Cleaning up after our little sickness, we both laugh. Doll has never been one to handle someone throwing up. Tripp coming here because Doll has a weak stomach makes me laugh. Badass biker brought to his knees by a tiny blonde bombshell. People who don’t know them would never believe it.

  Doll and I spend the night in Tank’s bed together, just like the sleepovers from when we were kids. Waking up, we both look at each other and giggle like two teenage girls. No matter how old we get, I am pretty sure we will always have these moments together that will take us back.

  “What’s it feel like?” she asks, turning to face me, leaning up on one elbow.

  “Nothing different really, yet. I mean, my boobs have been tender and feel heavy like they’re growing.”

  “Are you gonna tell Nick?”

  “I planned to calmly tell him yesterday until he almost choked me. Then it just came out. He didn’t want to believe it’s his, so Tank took claim of me and the baby. I don’t know what will happen now, but I don’t want my baby around that kind of aggression.”

  “Almost choked you…” Her face changes. “Babe, you have bruises on your throat. I don’t think he almost choked you. I think the fucker did choke you, and you’re lucky he let go when he did.”

  Instinctively, my hand comes up to my neck. As I run my fingers over the skin, I realize my neck does feel sore. In the moment, adrenaline running high, I didn’t take in how serious things were.

  “I don’t think he meant to hurt me. It was a moment of rage. I don’t want my baby around that. And the things he said, Doll… he doesn’t want this baby. He’s selfish. All that matters to him is getting his dad’s company.”

  “You’re better off without him.”

  “I see that now. What was I thinking ever being with him?” We both scoot to sitting up in the bed.

  “You were scared, vulnerable, and you’re stubborn as hell. The opportunity was there to try life on the opposite side of everything you’ve known, and you took it. Do you see the club is your family now?”

  “Yeah, I do. I feel so stupid. Nick was just an escape. He knew it and even said it to me. Then again, he was using me, too.” I drop my face into my hands.

  “We live and learn. You gonna make a go of things with Tank finally?”

  “Shit, I don’t know anything right now. I need to let my parents know what’s going on.”

  “What’re you waiting for?” She laughs.

  “I’m knocked up by a pretty-boy. My dad is not gonna take that well.”

  “He let you move in with Nick. Danza may not be over the moon happy, but he’ll deal as long as you aren’t pushing him away anymore.”

  “I’m a grown up; he didn’t let me do anything. He can’t stop me,” I state, not hiding my annoyance.

  “Keep tellin’ yourself that. However, Danza and Roundman could stop us from a lot of things, and moving in with Nick is one of them. Danza gave you the space to sort it out for yourself.”

  “I guess he did, but I don’t want to think about this anymore right now. Let’s start our day, please.” I did not want to keep thinking of the year I have wasted and the mistakes I made.

  After I get out of bed, I shower and dress. Knowing Tank has left to go to work, I don’t give a second thought to my clothing when Doll hands me a black tank top and jeans to wear. My clothes are all pajamas or around the house type of outfits until I can go shopping later today.

  Since Nick paid all my bills, I have money still saved from when I was working. Besides that, even before Nick, my dad and Roundman paid for the condo Doll and I lived in. I am not rich, but I am comfortable.

  Tank and I need to discuss living arrangements. I can afford to get my own place so I don’t crowd him, and I’m sure I can get my job back if I want it.

  When I make a call to my mom to tell her I am staying with Tank, she tries to convince me to move home. They don’t know about the baby yet, so I don’t want to commit to anything until the truth is out. She’s coming over with my dad in a little bit.

  While Doll is showering, I make my way to the kitchen to make some toast. My head spins and my stomach swirls as I move around. I need to eat and toast seems like the safest bet.

  I am in the kitchen when I hear the front door open. Thinking it’s my parents, I keep at my task of toast. I know the club set up this house for Tank, so I doubt my dad would bother knocking. Knowing I’m going through some serious shit and I am here, they will feel it’s their right to walk on in.

  “What the fuck is that on your arms?” I hear Tank ask, the rage dripping off his tongue.

  Well, it’s not my parents.

  Looking down my arm, I see the yellowing finger shaped bruising on my biceps left over from Nick’s phone tirade. Turning to face Tank, I gasp as I watch his eyes reach my neck.

  “That fucker touched you?”

  “Tank, it’s not—”

  “It’s not what? Please tell me what the fuck it’s not! Because let me tell you, it’s finger shaped bruises on your arms and your neck; that’s what I see. So either that fucker put his hands on you or you just woke up and decided to practice make up for the movies or some crazy shit like that.”

  Before I can respond, Tank turns around and walks out. I hear him muttering, “I’m gonna make him pay.”

  I try to follow him, but Doll comes around the corner, running into
me. I hear Tank’s Harley start before I can reach the door.

  “We have to go after him.”

  “What the hell happened?” Doll asks.

  “The bruises. He saw the bruises and I didn’t tell him. He doesn’t know it was in the heat of the moment thing. He doesn’t know it wasn’t a regular occurrence. He thinks Nick hurt me.” The room spins, I feel faint.

  “Nick did hurt you! Even one time, is one time too many! Tank can handle it, Sass. You don’t need the stress. Nick never should’ve put his hands on you. Let him deal with the consequences,” Doll firmly states.

  “He didn’t beat on me, Doll.”

  “I don’t give a shit that he didn’t beat you to a bloody pulp. He put his hands on you, hard enough that he left bruises. He’s gonna get what’s comin’ to him.”

  I don’t have time to argue further because I hear another bike pull up in the driveway. Not long after, I look up to see my mom walking in the front door. She doesn’t bother knocking; she just comes right in and wraps her arms around me.

  “It’s gonna be okay, Sass. Whatever happened, it’ll be okay,” she comforts. How does she know anything happened?

  “Mom, it’s already okay.”

  We all file into the living room and sit down, except my dad. He’s pacing the room.

  “Being as I saw Tank takin’ off down the road and I’m looking at the marks on you, is it safe to assume the reason you’re in this house and not on the beach sippin’ margarita’s is because that pretty-boy did something real dumb?” Danza barks out at me, his anger building the longer he looks at my discolored skin.

  “Dad, it’s complicated,” I reply and instantly realize that is the wrong damn thing to say.

  “Fuck your complications. I’m gonna ask you this one time. Are the bruises I see from him?”

  “Are you gonna go after him?”

  “The less you know, the better.”

  “That’s always your answer. Don’t you think I’ve seen enough blowback from your shit over the years? Own it.” The animosity rolls off each word without me holding back.

  “You want me to tell you I’ve beat the shit out of men? Yes. You want me to tell you I’ve fucked around on your momma? Yes. You want me to tell you that you and everyone close to me has had to face blowback from my choices? Yes.” He stands up and towers over me. “You want me to tell you that, if I find out that boy put his hands on my only child, my only daughter, I’m gonna fuckin’ make him pay? The answer, Savannah Mae, is yes! No one touches my baby girl.”

  He never calls me anything but Sass, ever. Tears pool behind my eyes. My dad has just admitted to everything that has pissed me off over the years. It’s not the transports that bother me; we all know it’s a fine line the club walks. It’s the repercussions of their actions that bother me.

  Watching my mother’s heart break when yet another barfly is talking about my dad’s dick is what kills a piece of me with every tear she has shed. Having some creep put cameras in my house to watch Doll and me in order to gain leverage over the club gives me an insecurity I can’t shake. To live in a situation where someone like Nick can make a mistake and never be forgiven because retribution must occur, that bothers me. The biggest thing for me has been that no one ever talks about it. Things happen and people move on. Yet, right here and right now, my dad just admitted all of it.

  “I’m pregnant,” I whisper.

  “Is that why he choked you?” my dad asks, his chest rising and falling dramatically as he fights to keep his temper at bay.

  “Things got out of hand. I was packing to leave when he found out about the baby. I didn’t leave because he grabbed me a little too hard or maybe I did. I don’t know. What I do know is Nick doesn’t want my baby. I also don’t want to be with Nick. Tank is helping me get on my feet, or he was until he saw the marks and took off.”

  When my dad moves away from me and begins pacing the room, I look to my mom who is silently watching both of us.

  “Go after him, Danza. Don’t let Tank ruin his future, their future over this,” my mom calmly commands. “Call Roundman and meet on the road. Get there and stop him from takin’ it too far.”

  Without a second thought, my dad takes off to find Tank.

  “Mom?” I question her with one word as to what has just happened.

  “The dynamic of an ol’ lady and her biker is one you can’t understand until you are one, Sass. I know you’ve seen things between your dad and I that you haven’t liked and you certainly haven’t understood. But your dad loves me and he loves you, always has. I don’t question his club and his activities, therefore when I ask him to do something, he doesn’t question me.”

  “He’s cheated on you,” I state sharply as my own anger builds yet again at the memories of when I was a child.

  “Years ago, yes he did. Our marriage was not in a good place at that time. Every marriage has challenges, though. The opportunity to step out is available to every individual, not just bikers. The club has nothing to do with why your dad cheated. Did it make finding someone to sleep with easier? Well, of course, but with or without the club, your dad would’ve stepped out.”

  “Still, he cheated and you’re okay with that?”

  “In life, people change with the seasons they go through. You will find, Sass, that you will change. In a marriage, two people must stay connected as they change. For a time, your dad and I were disconnected. That doesn’t make cheating okay, but we’ve found a way to work through that, we’ve reconnected and we’re stronger from what we’ve faced together.” She sighs. “I don’t expect you to understand. The details of it all are a story for another day and another time. However, given it’s my life and you’ve grown into a fine young lady despite all of this, I do expect you to accept it.”

  “I can work on that,” I say genuinely as my mind opens to the inner strength my mom has and the true love she has for her husband and the club.

  “You’re having a baby of your own. Things are changing all around you. Sass, your future is before you, so hold nothing back. The greater the risk, the greater the reward, and the greatest risk you can face is putting your heart on the line.”

  “I don’t know, Mom.”

  “Think on it. Tank’s a good man. He’ll take care of you and your baby. Quit running from the things you’ve built up in your head and accept things as they are.”

  Doll puts her arm around me in comfort, but also to reaffirm what my mom’s trying to tell me—take the club at face value. I may have dealt with blowback, but I’ve never been alone in it.

  Here I am, pregnant, and my baby’s father is perfectly fine with leaving me alone to deal with it, but my family and the club are here to support me. I see that now.

  ~Tank~

  Pulling up to the house, I see his Mercedes parked beside the Cayenne. My phone pings, alerting me to a message, but I ignore it. My focus is upstairs.

  Making my way up to the front door, of course I find it locked. Pulling out my kit, I quickly jimmy the lock as if I did this every day of the week. When I walk inside, Nick is on the couch and looks up at me but doesn’t move. We stare at each other, sizing one another up, neither of us speaking. I’m not going anywhere until he pays for putting his hands on her.

  Nick speaks first. “I’m not surprised to find you here. Take her shit and go on. She’s fucked me over enough.”

  Without a second thought, I am over to him, yanking him off the couch by his shirt. Slamming him into the wall, I am a ball of fury as I press my forearm into his throat.

  “Fucked you over? She’s pregnant with your baby and you put your goddamn hands on her, and she’s fucked you over?”

  “Can’t… breathe,” he chokes out.

  “Your throat hurting? Your lungs pulling for air?” I move my forearm giving him just a moment of air. He gasps as I move my hand to wrap around his neck. He’s pulling at my forearms trying to fight me. His eyes get big as I slowly increase the pressure. Eye to eye, I watch him intently. Hi
s hands come up to grab at each of my wrists. “Do you feel the pressure?” Inhaling deeply, I continue, “Nice, cool, crisp air here in this fancy house of yours.” He’s struggling against me, unable to speak, while I push forward with my message. “Not a good feeling being out of control, is it? This is how she felt with your hand around her neck. Was her back against the wall when you left the marks on her arms? Huh, Nicky-boy?”

  Hearing a noise come from the door, I look over my shoulder to see Roundman and Danza coming inside. I let up enough for Nick to try to catch his breath. Sass is Danza’s only daughter, so I’m sure, if he has seen her or knows why I am here, he will want his own moment of retribution. Since they aren’t that far behind me, I am certain they broke more than a few speed limits on the way here.

  Danza walks straight over to Nick. “You touched my daughter?”

  Releasing him, he grabs at his throat. “I… I… I…”

  “You got a stutterin’ problem, boy?” Roundman pipes up. “I believe my brother asked you a question. The answer is a simple yes or no.”

  “I… I didn’t mean to hurt her. I’ve never hit her.”

  Danza yanks Nick by his shirt off the wall and over to the bar area. He grabs Nick’s hands and puts them out on the bar, fingers spread, holding them down with his own hands. Danza is now across the bar from a struggling Nick who is trying to pull away. Roundman and I join him.

  Roundman wraps his arms around Nick’s chest from behind him, holding him immobile as I stand to the right of Nick, my anger continuing to boil.

  “These the hands you left those marks on her skin with?” I question, wanting nothing more than to make him pay for every last thing he’s done to her.

  When Nick doesn’t respond, his eyes wide in fear, I move to the left side of Nick, stepping behind Roundman as I make my way over. I nod to Danza who is holding Nick’s right hand, palm down to the bar. Picking up his left pinky while pressing his palm to the bar, I pull back and twist.