by Debra Kayn
He held her upper arms. She'd gone far enough. "Talk."
She blew out her breath. "I don't know where to start and I don't want to mess this up."
"Spit it out. The longer you wait, the more I want to go back to the house and kill whoever it was who upset you."
"No, you can't do that." She stiffened. "I'm not upset."
"Then what are you?"
She smiled and her eyes watered, shining up at him. "Excited. Happy. Shocked, but more happy than freaked. It's a good thing, Cam. The best thing that's ever happened to us."
Knowing Christina, her excitement could come from making the yard weed free and she wanted to celebrate or Jeremy decided to hang around all day and challenge her to a game of poker. If something happened to one of his men or the club, she would've stayed home and contacted him by cell phone. Why would she come into town and want to tell him her news and have trouble spitting it out?
His jaw tightened. "Christina...," he muttered.
"Okay." She stilled. "Take a deep breath."
"Baby, if you don't—"
She slowed down. "I talked to Merk and he..."
Cam walked away.
"Hey." She hurried after him, grabbing the back of the vest. "I'm not finished."
"You've said all I needed to know. Merk talked with you when I was gone. He's a dead man," Cam said.
"Stop. That's not true. I talked to Merk first." She closed her eyes an extra beat. "I waited until you were gone and confronted him about the way he keeps going out of his way to distance you from Jeremy."
"Fuck," he muttered.
He'd set the rules keeping Merk away from Christina. Hell, Merk would be gone from his property in a few days. Why'd she start something now?
"I don't want you anywhere near Merk alone." Cam said. "I had Willy watching out for you, so you were protected."
"I know, but Merk's whole attitude toward Jeremy has been bugging me. I thought he'd try and take him away from us, and he didn't. Instead, he ignored Jeremy. He wouldn't look at him, talk to him, or try to connect with him. That's messed up, Cam. He even went as far as keeping you away from Jeremy. Anytime you got close to him, Merk pulled you away with some dumbass excuse. Can't you see that?"
"What I see is you disobeying my order to stay the fuck away from Merk." He stepped away. "Now, get on my bike."
Christina refused to move. He paused three yards away. Now was not the time for her to push her independence.
Her mouth softened and she lowered her voice. "Don't you want to find out why Merk tried to keep you away from Jeremy since the truth came out?"
Considering he had no idea what the hell she talked about, he rather not know. Merk had no place in their conversation or coming between them. He'd made sure he'd never have to deal with Merk again.
"Cam, I found out why Merk won't have anything to do with Jeremy. His sister told Merk when she was pregnant with Jeremy she was going to get an abortion, because she didn't want her child around Moroad MC. Merk's trying to follow through with his sister's wishes of keeping away from him...because he is a Moroad member."
Cam shook his head, pulled into the conversation that was none of his business. "What's it matter now? Roni's dead. The kid's a Moroad."
"But there's a bigger reason why Merk is trying to keep you away from Jeremy. This is what I needed to tell you and please, you have to listen." She walked over to him and held on to his vest.
"Say it," he said.
"When Roni found out she was pregnant, she told Merk you are Jeremy's father." Christina leaned into him, smiling.
"Right," he said, shaking his head.
"Honey, Jeremy is your son." Christina inflated her cheeks and exhaled slowly. "Take a second and look at the similarities. Jeremy acts exactly like you, but younger."
"It's not..." Cam rolled his lips over his teeth and peered up at the side of the brick building.
Back when Roni hung out with Moroad MC, she'd slept with a lot of the guys, including him. Most of the time, he had no idea which woman slipped into his bed every night or who he left sleeping off the prior night's partying. Roni had a long list of people she fucked in Moroad. That didn't make Jeremy his kid.
His gut tightened thinking about the possibilities. "This is bull shit."
"Stay calm and think." Christina reached for him.
He walked away, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. Merk planned the whole lie. He'd bided his time and came up with a reason to pull Christina away from Cam. He inhaled and blew out the smoke. Merk wanted to retaliate for Cam framing him for murder. He must've thought the best way to accomplish the impossible was to involve the kid.
"Jeremy has dark hair like you," Christina said.
He glared. "So does half the town of Federal, huh? I sure in the hell didn't father all of them."
"Jeremy also says huh after he asks a question, just like you. Especially when he's hiding his emotions," she added.
"I've rubbed off on him." Cam sucked down the nicotine. "Baby, Merk's decided to pay me back, and this is the fucked up story he came up with to drive you away from me. Don't let him get to you."
"He's got your body—slimmer, but your broad shoulders and dark eyes. He even walks like you," she said.
"Shut up," he muttered.
Jeremy, his? No, he couldn't be.
He hadn't always worn a condom back then. Hell, he couldn’t be sure he even bought condoms. Too strung out half the time, he only worried about someone shooting him or the cops showing up to take him back to prison.
"Now that Jeremy's hair is longer, you can see the cowlick on the left side of his bangs. The same cowlick position where your hair naturally parts." Christina clutched her hands underneath her chin.
Damn Merk. Christina wanted so much to believe Merk told the truth, she grasped for any sign of similarities between the kid and him. Cam tossed his cigarette. Hair was hair.
"Do you remember the color of Roni's hair?" Christina stepped closer. "Merk said she had strawberry blonde hair."
Cam glanced at her. "Yeah."
"Honey, Jeremy has dark hair like you. He's your son."
He shook his head and clamped his teeth together. It couldn't be true.
"You had sex with her," Christina said.
Why couldn't he remember what took place back then? Yes, he'd fucked Roni, many times. Who else was she with? Stache? Gunner? Bear?
Brown hair, blond hair, and curly hair.
Not one of them had black straight hair. Jeremy was taller than all of the men, except for him. Cam ran his hand over his beard. Last time he looked the kid in the eyes, he looked straight ahead.
"Jeremy's whiskers grow in thicker under his chin and he has a hard time growing hair higher on his cheeks," Christina whispered.
Cam paused with his hand on his face. He had a full beard, but he kept it trimmed lower on his cheeks, because the hair never quite filled in the way he wanted.
His son?
He bent at the waist and sucked in air. He had a kid?
"Mother fucker," he mumbled.
"Yes, honey. Jeremy's your son," Christina said.
Christina came to him, holding him up. His knees shook. He never imagined someone else walking around, breathing the same air, living life beside him with the same blood circling his veins.
He never planned to have kids. Hell, he'd walked away from abusive parents and decided at a young age to walk through life alone. Until Christina wrote him a letter and he wanted her more than his freedom, he never planned to have a family.
His chest compressed, choking him. Lightheaded and gut punched, he straightened. "What am I supposed to do with a kid?"
"The same thing you've done since you've brought Jeremy into your house." Christina smiled up into his eyes. "Protect him. Support him. Love him."
"I need to talk with Merk." Cam looped his arm around Christina. "After I kick his ass for talking to you."
She grabbed him, stopping him from walking. "No. You can talk, but no fighting, and plea
se, make sure he doesn't have a gun on him when you do ask him questions."
Cam gazed down into her eyes and laughed. The tension mixed with something indescribable burst out of him in a foreign, but comforting feeling. He continued laughing as he walked with Christina out of the alley and got on his motorcycle.
She eyed him with concern, climbing up behind him on the bike. He pulled away from the curb and headed through town, back to the house. Back to his home. Back to his son.
Chapter Thirty One
Tiff leaned against her car in the driveway of Cam's house waiting for Jeremy to come outside. Christina turned away from the window, her stomach tied in knots. The last twenty-four hours a whirlwind of talking between Cam and Merk, Cam and her, and Cam and the empty space he muttered his shortcomings to.
Christina crossed her arms and cupped her elbows. Cam limped across the room, favoring his left leg. The lack of sleep after finding out Jeremy was Cam's biological son yesterday had taken its toll. He answered to no one, took what he wanted, and damned the rest of the world. Except when it came to his family.
"He's eighteen years old. An adult." Cam stopped pacing. "It doesn't really matter if I'm his old man."
"It matters," Christina said.
Cam frowned. She walked over and kissed him. "Relax. I'll go get Jeremy, you'll tell him what you've learned, and then everything will finally be out in the open. You'll both deal with what happens next."
He grunted in agreement. She walked over to the stairs. "Jeremy? Can you come down here for a second?"
"Jesus Christ, he's better off not knowing," Cam muttered behind her.
She returned to the living room and caught Cam's hand. She flinched at the painful grip he held on her.
"It'll be fine," she whispered.
A wildness in his eyes shot to her. A nervous bubble wrapped around her. She'd never seen him like this. Always strong, confident, and at times deadly, news of being Jeremy's father wiped away every scar Cam placed on himself. For the first time, he experienced his own vulnerability. She suspected he feared the damage the truth would do to his life.
Most of all, she suspected he was afraid of Jeremy rejecting him.
Footsteps plodded down the stairs, keeping her from telling him it would be okay. Jeremy walked into the room looking at the screen of his phone. "What's up?"
Cam looked at her for an excuse to call off the talk. She shook her head. He needed to do this for all of them.
"We need to talk, kid," Cam said. "Sit down."
Jeremy walked over to the window and held up his phone. "Tiff texted and said she's waiting for me outside."
Cam let go of Christina's hand. "Yeah, I called her and asked her to come by."
Jeremy's gaze snapped to Cam and his voice lowered. "Why?"
Christina moved over to the couch and sat to stay out of their business. Cam needed to handle Jeremy on his own, and Jeremy needed to listen. If only they could see the way they both acted the same. Two men, two very protective men, more worried about the women in their life than anything else.
"Don't question my decisions," Cam said, cutting Jeremy off. "Sit down."
Jeremy flopped in the chair beside the window. Cam reached for his pocket where he kept his cigarettes and stopped.
"What's this about?" Jeremy asked.
"You're my kid," Cam blurted.
Jeremy gave Cam a cursory glance before typing on his phone. Christina swallowed and wanted to go to Cam. Out of his element, he'd stated the fact without emotion or softening. She held herself back. Cam would have to figure out on his own how to tell his story.
Jeremy lowered his phone. "Is that it?"
Cam straightened his beard, pulling the whiskers away from his mouth. "No, that's not fucking it. You're my son."
"Right." Jeremy scratched the whiskers under his chin. "We've already talked about this. You forged the DNA papers to the court. Merk's my real uncle. I get it."
Cam turned to Christina. "Tell him."
She shook her head and lied. "You're doing fine."
He'd respect her more for letting him tell Jeremy in his own way. He needed to understand Jeremy was more like him than he realized. The lack of emotions, the broken up sentences, and the uncomfortable conversation only made what Cam said that much more meaningful. Jeremy would understand in the end.
Frustrated, Cam turned away from Christina and said, "I had sex with your mom."
Jeremy yawned. "If you're bragging, you're too late. She had sex with a lot of men. They paid her in drugs."
"Damn it, kid. Listen to me." Cam reached out and caught the windowsill, whether to hold himself back or to support his weary body, Christina couldn't tell. "Roni...your mom told Merk I'm your dad and made him promise to keep who your father was secret. At the time, it didn't matter, because your mom planned to get an abortion. She battled drugs. She hung out with Moroad, and I made it clear I'd never settle down. But, she kept you. Maybe in her own right, she tried to be the best mom she could, I don't know. We can't change how things turned out."
Jeremy's head tilted. "You're telling me you're my real dad?"
"Yes," Cam muttered.
Jeremy's lip twitched. "I have a real uncle who hasn't talked to me since the truth came out. Now I have a real father who doesn't want me. A dead mom who wanted to get rid of me before I was even born and then couldn't deal with raising a son, so she skipped out on facing the real world. Some family reunion we're having, huh?"
Cam's body stiffened and he widened his stance. "I want you."
Jeremy dropped his gaze to his phone, though he made no move to pick the cell up. Cam stared at Jeremy, unmoving and tense.
"I want you, kid," Cam said, his voice deepening. "I didn't know about you, and I can't say things would be different if I would've known you were mine when Roni first got pregnant. I would've still spent most of my life locked up behind bars. But, I would've wanted you."
The pain in Cam's admission brought an onslaught of tears to Christina. She blinked, swiping her cheek. Her heart tugged, and she fought wanting to wrap her family in her arms and giving them the strength to believe they'd all survive. They'd be stronger. They'd be better off with the truth out in the open.
"You're my dad?" Jeremy whispered.
Cam nodded. "I take what I want and I wanted you, not knowing you were my son. Now I know you're my kid, it doesn't mean shit to me. Nothing changes, and maybe it was better for you knowing I stole you from the state, because I proved to you and every other fucking person around here that I wanted you in my life. I'm not going to give you up. I wouldn't let Moroad take you from me. Having the same blood running through your veins doesn’t prove anything to me. Going out and claiming something or someone as mine does. You're mine. You're my kid, because I want you."
Cam's voice waned. His breath came in short pants. Christina couldn't take her eyes off him, afraid if she looked away, her big, scary biker would break.
Jeremy stood, turned his back to Cam, and looked out the window. Christina slid her hands between her thighs and waited. She respected Jeremy. He was a smart man, like his father. Cam pushed his ways onto others, because he never experienced the love and support he deserved growing up. Jeremy was still young and desperately reached for anyone who wanted him.
Cam was giving him the one thing Jeremy needed, and she hoped he took the gift and held on to it for the rest of his life.
"Why did you call Tiff and tell her to come over?" Jeremy asked.
Cam shoved his hands in his front pockets. "Because I knew you'd need her when I got done talking to you."
Jeremy nodded his acceptance of Cam's answer and turned around. "So, nothing changes, huh?"
"Nope." Cam shrugged. "You're wearing the Moroad patch and living under my roof. I'll do my best to protect you and keep you alive."
Jeremy looked toward Christina. She stood, unable to sit still and keep quiet any longer.
"Cam has a lot to give you, if you'll let him," she said.
"Yeah, you're fine." She smiled, ignoring the tears blurring her vision.
Jeremy walked across the room and into the foyer. Cam followed him to the door. "Make sure you check your lever on your motorcycle before you ride out."
"I always do." Jeremy walked out on the porch.
Christina hurried to the window and watched him go straight to Tiff. A few words were exchanged, and then Jeremy hooked her neck, bringing her closer. Tiff's arms wound around Jeremy's waist. With the support of the Moroad MC, Tiff, his dad, her, Jeremy would be okay eventually.
He might not appreciate Cam at the moment, but someday he'd realize he had a dad who wanted him. That's all anyone ever wanted.
Cam entered the room. She walked into his arms and pressed her cheek against his chest. His heartbeat raced, and she held on tighter. Together, they moved back to the window.
Jeremy slid his helmet onto Tiff's head, latching the D ring under her chin. Christina caught movement behind Jeremy. Merk locked the travel trailer door, pocketed the keys, and carried a duffel bag to his motorcycle without looking at Jeremy or anyone else.
"Is Merk leaving?" she asked.
Cam's arms tightened. "Yeah, he got approval from his probation officer to move in with Jacko yesterday."
She was glad Merk could finally leave the property. She looked forward to not worrying about Cam's safety every time he stepped out of the house. Yet, she wondered what would become of Merk's future. He refused to acknowledge his relationship with Jeremy and seemed set on alienating himself from everyone.
"Do you think you could have him talk to Jeremy some time about what happened between him and his sister?" she asked.
"That's none of my business. Merk will have to decide on his own whether to claim Jeremy as family," Cam said. "Sometimes being blood doesn't mean anything at all."
She closed her eyes and let him take away her worry. He was right. Again.
Christina turned in Cam's arms and gazed up at him. "I love you."
"I know you do," he said, capturing her lips.
Epilogue
Christina squirmed on the bed underneath Cam. He moved slow, desperately holding back because he loved the way she made little humming noises as she fought to hold back the pleasure he gave her. His woman was losing control.
