After the Ending

by Lindsey Fairleigh

  “I’ll carry it,” he said between swings.

  “It’ll take a long time…lots of trips,” I commented. Apparently I was turning into the Queen of Obvious.

  Pause. “Yep.” Swing. Thunk. Pause. “That’s the point.” Lift.

  Heaving a huge sigh, I said, “We need to talk.” I was growing irritated with his apparent need to ignore me. In my pockets, my hands clenched into fists. I had to remind myself to be careful not to crush the photo.

  Pause. “Can’t. Busy.” Swing. Thunk. Lift.

  Stop being such an ass! I thought angrily.

  Pause. “But I’m so good at it.” Swing. Thunk. Lift.

  Crap! I hadn’t meant to speak in his head. I definitely needed to get that under control. My mind was overflowing with inappropriate thoughts that I desperately wanted to keep private.

  “This is important…and difficult enough without you flinging that thing around!” I snapped.

  He said nothing. Swing. Thunk. Lift. Swing. Thunk. Lift.

  Around us, dozens of small furry shapes were tentatively wandering closer, making me realize that I’d been maintaining my connection to the animal scouts. I struggled to disconnect from their minds—exhaustion was making my telepathy increasingly difficult to control.

  Finally, as I continued to watch Jason take out his pent up aggression on the tree, I lost it. “Dammit, Jason!” I shouted. Tears of frustration swiftly welled and spilled down my cheeks. Silent sobs clenched my gut, making my throat close spastically.

  Abruptly, the ceaseless swing, thunk, lift stopped. “Shit,” Jason muttered under his breath. He watched me with wide, troubled eyes. “Don’t do that…I didn’t mean to…I shouldn’t have done what I did back there.”

  “What?” I choked out between sobs. Did he just say he shouldn’t have kissed me? That made me cry even harder.

  He approached me slowly. “With Cam and everything…and my sister…I shouldn’t have—”

  “Oh shut up!” I shrieked, unwilling to listen to all the reasons kissing me was a mistake. Just knowing he regretted it was unbearable. “This isn’t about that.”

  The ax slid from Jason’s hand, thumping on the damp ground. “It’s not? Then what?” He quickly closed the distance between us and took my face in his hands—they seemed to burn my cold cheeks. “What is it?”

  It was so much harder to form the words when he was being gentle, not to mention when he was standing close enough to feel his enticing heat. Like a coward, I closed my eyes. “I…know what happened to your dad,” I said in his mind. Determined not to leave him to face his pain alone, I forced my eyes open. “He’s dead.”

  Jason’s eyes searched mine, and he swallowed repeatedly. “How do you know?” he asked, his voice hollow and weak.

  “Grams left a note for me before she…died,” I said, my throat catching on the final word. Unable to speak coherently, I had to finish in his mind. “She found your dad sitting near the ocean. He was already gone.”

  Is it getting harder to talk in his head?

  “Oh…I…He…We…” Jason stammered, trying unsuccessfully to voice different thoughts. He abruptly moved away from me, picked up the ax, and threw it with a savage roar. It flew, end over end, and crashed against one of the trees he’d mangled, dropping to the ground with a muffled thud.

  I tentatively touched his shoulder, and he faced me, a storm of hatred, rage, and regret churning in his eyes. As he searched my face, the storm dissipated, and his expression softened. A single tear escaped from one of his eyes and slid down the chiseled planes of his face. His palpable anguish threatened to revive my own tears.

  He fell to his knees in front of me and wrapped his arms around my hips, pressing the side of his face against my down-padded chest. I ran my fingers through his short, thick, black hair. It was a little longer than it had been when he’d found me in my Seattle apartment, but not yet long enough to show the loose curl I knew it held. He was the strongest man I’d ever known; he was my rock. But for a brief period of time, I needed to be his.

  “I’d hoped…,” he choked out, his arms clenching around me tighter. “I’d thought maybe, just maybe…but it was stupid. Hope,” he growled, “is for fools.”

  I tightened my grasp on the sides of his head and forced him to look up at me. “No, Jason,” I whispered. Continuing in his mind, I said, “Losing hope…that’s for fools. What do you think happened to all those people who survived the Virus and then killed themselves? They lost hope. They’re the fools. But us,” I paused, basking in the way his eyes drank me in, wondrous and hungry, “we have wants and desires and people we believe in. We have hope, and when we lose it, we might as well lie down and die.”

  Staring up at me, Jason seemed on the verge of saying something. For what felt like minutes he said nothing. Finally, his arms loosened around me, and his hands grasped my hips.

  I trembled at the change in his gaze and shivered at the increasing chill in the air. I was suddenly dizzy, unintentionally swaying from side to side, and my head felt like it might explode. Am I gonna pass out? Not again…not now!

  My vision darkened around the edges, and my knees abruptly gave out. I would’ve collapsed to the ground if Jason hadn’t been holding me up.

  “Dani?” he asked. “Dani, what’s wrong?”

  I tried to keep my eyes open—to breathe deeply—but my brain’s commands weren’t being received. “My Ability…used too much…”

  As my body went completely limp, Jason hooked one arm behind my knees, the other around my shoulders, and stood. Instead of falling to the soggy ground, I was cradled in his protective arms.

  “Cold,” I whispered against his bare shoulder, acutely aware of the contrast between the frigid air and his scorching skin. “It’s dark.”

  “It’s the middle of the day,” Jason muttered worriedly as he began walking at a quick clip.

  “So cold…tired,” I mumbled, my head lolling back over his arm.

  “No Dani. Shit! Stay with me,” he urged. “I need you to wrap your arms around my neck. Can you do that?”

  “I think…maybe…” My tongue felt swollen, my arms leaden. I focused all of my remaining strength on following his directions. I felt the same as I had behind Grams’s house and after I’d hit the Crazy with the shovel, except it was a hundred times worse.

  “Good,” Jason said, hugging me tightly against his blazing body. “Now hold on.” He began to run. The jarring motion helped me hang on to consciousness, and in a few minutes, we were crashing through the front door of the ranch house.

  Startled by the commotion, Ky asked, “Jason, what’s—”

  “Her body temp’s too low…fill the tub with hot water!” Jason ordered.

  Running out of strength, my arms released their hold on Jason, and my head fell back. I blinked and was suddenly lying on the couch I’d been using as a bed, my clothes being gently peeled away. Though I slapped uselessly at the hands undressing me, first my coat, then my jeans, and then my sweater were removed, until I was shivering in only my bra and panties. I was wrapped in layers of blankets like a swaddled infant and scooped up into Jason’s strong, comforting arms.

  “Is it warm?” Jason shouted ahead as he carried me.

  “Yeah, but not full yet,” Ky called back.

  Jason’s voice echoed slightly when he said, “Go. I’ll finish.” Within seconds he had removed and discarded my cocoon of blankets and partially submerged me in the steaming hot water. It burned, but I savored the feeling, grasping at the chance to be anything but freezing. The situation didn’t make sense though—I was in the water, its delicious heat was lapping at my skin, yet I was still enveloped in Jason’s iron hold. He’s in the tub with me?

  As the water level rose, Jason slid our bodies further down in the cramped tub, submerging my entire torso. With one arm wrapped around my waist and the other around my shoulders, he kept my face above the water. With my head resting in the hollow between his shoulder and chest, I watched my hands floa
t near the water’s surface. My dim vision grew stronger and my breaths came more easily as my core temperature increased.

  “Jason,” I whispered once the water began to cool.

  He tensed. “Yeah?”

  “Thanks.”

  “Sure.” He relaxed, letting me melt back into him.

  I eyed the two very masculine, bare knees sticking out of the water on either side of me. “Jason?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you…um… wearing anything?”

  His chuckle vibrated against my back. “Hmmm…let me think…I believe I left a little something on. Do you want me to fix that, Red?” Though his words were filled with innuendo, he sounded relieved.

  “I…I don’t…Can I just go to sleep? I’m so tired.” I snuggled against him, relishing the feel of his body as my eyelids grew heavier.

  “Sleeping in a bathtub…not a great plan,” Jason said. “Let’s get you out and dried off. Can you stand?”

  Peering down at myself, I realized I was wearing only my bra and underwear, and shyness overwhelmed me. “Maybe…will you close your eyes… please?”

  “Are you serious?” he laughed. “I just undressed you. And it’s not like I’ve never seen you in a swimsuit.”

  “Well it’s been a while!” I squeaked. “A lot changes in a decade…”

  “I’ve noticed.” He paused briefly before informing me, “My eyes are closed.”

  Carefully, I stood and stepped from the slippery tub. As I did, I turned to watch him, to make sure he didn’t peek while I removed my soaked undergarments and dried off. I robed myself in a thick gown of blankets, studying the man whose quick thinking had just saved my life from…something.

  What the hell was that, anyway? Death by internal freezing? I was quickly understanding that certain uses of my Ability charged a high price—impromptu naps and killer headaches being the going rate—but this had been different, more dangerous.

  “Okay…you can open your eyes.”

  Jason did so and stood smoothly, letting the water stream over the enticing ridges of his body.

  I spun away, my heart instantly pounding. “I’m going to go get dressed and lay down,” I said in a high-pitched voice.

  “Whatever works for you, Red,” he teased.

  I hurried from the bathroom, slipped into some sweatpants and a t-shirt, and curled up on my makeshift bed. I was out cold before Jason emerged from the bathroom.

  Date: January 1, 7:50 PM

  From: Dani O’Connor

  To: Zoe Cartwright

  Subject: WTF, with a big fat “Fuck”

  Zo,

  A crazy bitch tried to kill you, and she’s only imprisoned? Why isn’t she dead? What did she do? This new world is crap sometimes (like, most of the time). And that Jake guy saved your life again…hero complex, much? But then he made a fireworks display for you...that’s kind of crazy. Ummm...maybe he likes you? Okay, I’ll shut up now—no need to hit me!!!

  So, I told Jason what you said about the Colony (maybe) being bad news. We all voted, and we’re still going to Colorado, but just to somewhere nearby Colorado Springs, not to the actual Colony, at least, not until we meet up with you and yours (if any of them come). Then we can decide what to do together. If that Jake guy really wants to convince us (you) that it’s not the place to be, then maybe he should come along. He seems to care whether you live or die, so I guess he’ll follow you there anyway. Stalker, anyone? Not that I mind, and neither should you. The guy is like your own personal Superman, Miss Lane.

  The plan on this end is to spend a few weeks getting prepped in BB, then we’ll head out…wait for it…on horseback! Gas is so unreliable (as in, nonexistent) over here that we can’t use cars. I hope Cece and her degenerates got stranded on a mountain pass and eaten by a bear…or maybe by each other. By the way, the people who are still here are: Chris, Ky, Ben (Ky’s brother), Holly, Dalton, and Hunter. And Jason, of course. Oh, plus Jack, Wings (the paint horse who brought me down here), and the other eight horses living at the ranch with us. And the goats.

  Oh, and I had nightly dreams with MG while I was “on leave”. Did I forget to tell you that he’s real? Yeah, entering people’s dreams is his Ability. And he’s…interesting. He seems to like me for some reason. He really wanted me to go to the Colony and was convinced I’d be safer there. He’s actually the one who helped me figure out my Ability.

  That’s it for now. Let me know if you “hug” anyone else. I’ll do the same (*wink*).

  Ciao,

  Dani

  “Okay, so stick your foot in the stirrup…no, Ky, the other foot…and then pull yourself up. You’re big strong guys; I’m sure you can handle it,” I teased.

  Jason had already mounted while Ky and his horse were doing a little square dance with his foot stuck in the stirrup.

  “Can’t you help?” Ky called in my general direction. “Like, make it stand still or something?”

  I snorted, unable to hold the laughter in any longer. “Won’t help you…you’ll just end up doing this again next time. You’ve got to figure it out.”

  “Thanks so much, D. You’re a huge help.”

  “I try,” I said, quieting my giggles.

  Three hours later, we were walking our horses down Bodega Avenue. On our mission to scout and gather supplies pertinent to our impending departure, we’d loaded our bags with medicine and hygiene items, some food, spices, salt, liquor, and dog food. We’d found, but hadn’t yet taken, a huge supply of feed and some useful tack at a farm close to our own ranch. We would have come back for it.

  “Oh!” I exclaimed as we passed by a cedar-sided bungalow. “We should stop in there…might be some useful books.”

  Jason shrugged and dismounted; using as few words as possible had become his new standard around me. It was driving me insane, especially considering that he rarely let me out of his sight. He’d become my silent, ever-present shadow. A big, protective, lethal one.

  Ky scrutinized the sprawling, brown home. “Uh, why? What am I missing here?”

  “This is Mr. Grayson’s house. He is…was…a teacher at our high school back in the day. He sort of collected books on everything, and his house functioned as the town’s unofficial library. You know…’cause we don’t have a real one. He seemed to think he could educate the entire community through the power of books alone,” I explained.

  “Got it,” Ky said.

  I was no longer a stranger to breaking and entering, but the whole “let’s break into the house of our old teacher so we can steal his books” thing felt odd. Regardless, it ended up being quite the fortuitous stop.

  As we were skimming the bookshelves lining the walls from floor to ceiling, searching for anything that might prove useful in our post-civilization world, we heard the crack of a dropped book on the weathered wood floor.

  “What the…?” came a man’s voice from the front door—it was Mr. Grayson. His hand was still on the doorknob, his mouth was gaping open in shock, and a heavy tome rested at his feet. “What are you…I never thought someone would…books, you know. Wait…Danielle, is that you?” he asked, finally expressing a complete thought.

  Pierced by his sharp stare, I was instantly transported back to high school. I rushed to explain, “Yes, Mr. Grayson, it’s me, Dani. We, um, didn’t think anyone was here or that anyone would mind if we…um…well…”

  “Borrowed some books? From my private collection? Assuming I was dead?” Mr. Grayson finished. His expression turned musing as he examined each of us from a distance. “I’d wager,” he said, breaking the tense silence, “that your companion is Jason Cartwright. Am I correct?”

  “Yes, Sir,” Jason affirmed.

  Mr. Grayson pondered the situation for another long moment, allowing the silence to expand. I jumped when he finally spoke. “Danielle, if I remember correctly, I would expect to find you here with the younger Cartwright, unless she has succumbed to the—”

  “No!” I hastily interrupted. “Zoe’s aliv
e. She’s just not, well, here. She’s at Fort Knox. With some military people. She’s safe though. I mean, other than being attacked…multiple times…um… anyway…she’s okay.”

  He nodded, and his lips quirked into a slight smile. “I see. Well, I don’t know this other lad, but I’ll assume for the moment that he’s fine since he’s with you two. I suppose you’d like to know about the past month here in our lovely little coastal paradise.” Sarcasm dripped heavily off of the end of his statement. Good old Mr. Grayson…

  “But I have somewhere I must be in a short amount of time. Will you meet me here tomorrow?” he asked politely.

  The three of us exchanged questioning looks and shrugs, finally nodding to each other. Why not?

  “Wonderful. Does one o’clock in the afternoon work with your schedules?”

  I coughed, choking down a laugh. Schedules. Hilarious.

  Ignoring me, Jason replied, “Yes, Sir. We’ll see you then.”

  As we left, I glanced back at Mr. Grayson and couldn’t help but wonder about his pressing engagement. Just the idea that he had somewhere to be was surprisingly foreign…and amusing.

  Date: January 2, 3:40 PM

  From: Danielle O’Connor

  To: Zoe Cartwright

  Subject: Bonkers!

  Zo,

  So, this crazy thing happened earlier this afternoon. We were romping through town, scouting out supplies and such…and we ran into Mr. Grayson! Yeah, I suppose the fact that we were in his house preparing to scavenge a bunch of books makes the encounter less bonkers. Whatever, it’s still crazy. We’re meeting up with him tomorrow, and he’s going to fill us in on everything that’s happened here over the past month. I’ll let you know what he says.

  I’m just about to change into my super fighter Dani clothes and go practice my super fighter skills with the others. Two hours in the afternoon are officially designated as combat training time. Those who stayed behind today set up the whole training area outside on the lawn with a sparring circle, shooting range, and obstacle course. In the morning, I’ll be surprised if my skin isn’t purple and blue with bruises. I don’t care. I’m all for anything that helps me be better prepared for a situation like the attack the other night. You’re with military people...have you thought at all about asking them to teach you some stuff?