After the Ending

by Lindsey Fairleigh

  “Nothing’s changed, huh?” Jake’s tone willed me to think about everything that had transpired between us during the past few weeks. When I opened my eyes he reached for my hands and examined the minute scrapes on my palms. The heat of his touch swept through me, banishing rational thought.

  “For whatever reason, I know you don’t want to let me in…or maybe you just don’t know how.” He released my hands as he spoke, and I reluctantly let them fall to my sides. “I can’t read your mind, and I don’t understand you half the time…but I know what I want.” His voice sounded calm—confident—but I could feel both fear and hope welling within him.

  Jake’s vulnerability jump-started something inside me.

  He moved closer, and his jaw clenched. “What are you afraid of?” I could feel his growing impatience.

  “Jake, I—”

  Swiftly, one of his hands grasped the back of my neck, tangling in my loose hair, and his lips pressed against mine, fierce and hot. Surprised, I stumbled back, but Jake slipped his arm around my waist, holding me against him. His kiss was greedy, and I drank in his desire. His overwhelming need awakened such an intense thirst in me that I couldn’t get enough of him.

  I clutched handfuls of his jacket to steady myself as he backed me up against the nearest piling. Frenzied, he began to explore my body—his mouth savoring the sensitive skin on my neck and under my jaw, while his hands drifted down my back and lower. A pleasurable ache throbbed between my thighs as he nudged his leg between mine.

  My hands ventured up his broad chest, over his shoulders, and combed through his short hair. I crushed his lips harder against mine. As we kissed, lustful images from his mind began to invade mine.

  Us, panting in unison. My nails digging into his bare back. His teeth grazing my collarbone, and both of us crying out in pleasure.

  A deep groan vibrated in his chest as the images flashed through his mind. I wanted—no, needed—him more than I’d ever needed anyone before. Impulsively, I reached for his belt, fumbling with his buckle.

  Jake froze.

  Our lips lingered together for a moment, and as he pulled away, I whimpered in protest. I could still feel our combined desire humming through my body, willing me to kiss him again.

  Confused, I looked up at him. “Why are we stopping?” I asked through swollen lips. He took a step back, and my heart seemed to stop completely. “Um, excuse me. Where are you going?”

  Jake shook his head, taking another step backward as he tried to control his breathing. “You’re drunk.”

  I scoffed. “I’m not that drunk. Besides, most guys would…” I stopped talking as his eyes flared with warning—Jake wasn’t most guys.

  Running his hand over his hair, he reeled in the excitement rolling through him. “I’d like you to remember this tomorrow,” he said, sexual frustration apparent in his tone.

  Although I felt slighted by his comment, I let it go. There was no way I could ever forget a moment like that, no matter how many drinks I’d consumed. Knowing what it felt like to have his body pressed against mine made me crave more. I needed to be closer to him, in any way possible.

  “I came out here to bring you into the house,” he said with an amused smile. He walked over to the edge of the dock and sat down.

  “I’m glad you came out here,” I said, plopping down beside him.

  He glanced at me and lifted his arm, allowing me to nestle against him. I was surprised by how easy it was to be affectionate with him. He was right, a lot had changed.

  My fingers explored the waistband of his pants as my mind drifted to heady thoughts of kisses and nakedness and… “What’s this?” I asked, feeling something hard and leather strapped to his belt. “Your knife,” I answered for him. Momentarily distracted, I unclipped it from his belt.

  Jake watched me as I examined it.

  “It’s really cool. I like the wood handle.” I held it up in the moonlight. “It looks old. Where’d you get it?”

  Jake stared at it for a moment. “Someone gave it to me when I was a kid.” I saw an image of an older man, a grandfather perhaps, flash in his mind. I could tell the knife meant a lot to Jake.

  “I like it.” I flipped open the blade and turned it over on my palm, thinking about how useful a knife would’ve been during the past few weeks. “I should get one.” It was compact enough to store in my pocket, but the blade was menacing and sharp. “It could really do some damage,” I said, slicing it through the air.

  “Not a bad idea,” Jake said, reclaiming the knife and putting it away. “But maybe you should wait to practice your slasher moves until you can at least walk without falling.” He glanced over at me with a rueful grin.

  “You’re hilarious,” I deadpanned and once again rested my head on his shoulder.

  “You ready for bed?” he asked. As he spoke, I could feel his stubble brushing my forehead.

  I giggled. “Is that an offer?”

  “You’re feisty when you’re drunk,” he mused.

  I shrugged and snuggled closer against him. “Yeah well, you bring out the best in me, what can I say?”

  He chuckled. “So, shall we do this the easy way…or the hard way?”

  “Do what?” My breath caught as I considered the possibilities.

  “I’m taking you inside.”

  “Excuse me?” I pulled away and locked eyes with him. “What if I’m not ready to go in?” I asked, pretending to be offended.

  Jake shook his head. “Fine, have it your way.” Before I knew what was happening, his arm wrapped around my waist, and he tossed me over his shoulder.

  “Jake, put me down!” I ordered. “I can walk just fine!”

  “Yeah, and you’ve got the scrapes to prove it.”

  “Is that why you’re out here—to make fun of me?”

  He said nothing and continued up the tree-lined path toward the house.

  I began flailing. “Put me down, Jake. This is ridiculous!” My stomach churned. “Ugh…I think I’m gonna be sick.”

  “You better not be,” Jake said.

  I wiggled and cussed as he held the backs of my legs down with his right hand.

  I continued to struggle against him. “Jake, seriously, put me down. I don’t want to puke on you.”

  “Then don’t. Stop being so squirrelly.” His voice was full of amusement.

  Jake carried me through the French doors, into the kitchen, and passed by the living room toward the stairs—everyone else was in the living room, listening to music and chatting.

  Amidst my wiggling, Sarah skipped toward us, laughing. “Oh wow, this is priceless,” she said.

  “Oh shut up,” I snapped.

  “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” Sarah said, shaking her head and waving.

  “I’m not going to bed! He’s being absurd.” I smacked Jake’s butt. “Put me down!” I demanded.

  “Say goodnight, Zoe,” he ordered.

  “This is pointless, I’m just coming back down here,” I claimed, but he ignored me. Jake lugged me through the foyer and up the stairs in silence. “I’m serious, Jake!”

  “Okay,” he said placatingly, both of us knowing I definitely wouldn’t be coming back down.

  My stomach started churning again. “Oh God…you better hurry.” Opening my bedroom door, he took me into the bathroom and set me down on the tile floor. I braced myself against the counter, wishing my head would stop spinning.

  “You okay?”

  I glared at him in the darkness. “Dandy. Thanks.”

  The rest of the night passed by in a blur. All I remembered was crawling into bed—Jake’s fully clothed body curled up beside me.

  The next morning, I woke to the slamming of the front door and frantically looked around the room. My palms were sore and rough from falling on the dock, snagging on the comforter wrapped around me. As I stretched in bed, my knees felt achy, and I figured giant bruises colored them.

  I abruptly sat up, pieces of the previous night flashing in my mind. S
tunned, I touched my fingers to my mouth at the memory of Jake’s lips on mine, of his body against mine. I glanced over, expecting to see him, but I was in bed alone.

  Hearing the slamming of the door again, I crawled out of bed. My head was pounding, and I needed some water…immediately. I trudged into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and half-heartedly fixed my hair, but I quickly gave up on making myself look more presentable. I slid my slippers on, headed out into the hallway, and stood on the landing. Confused, I took in the chaotic scene below me.

  In the front yard, Sarah was screaming at Biggs—I could hear her through the door—while Sanchez and Harper hustled around in the library, Cooper following them excitedly. I watched them in confusion, uncertain what all the fuss was about.

  “Is everything okay?” I called down to Harper as he hurried across the foyer.

  “Oh…hey, Baby Girl. We’re leaving.” He smiled and wriggled his eyebrows, knowing I’d be happy to hear the news.

  My mood brightened instantly. “For Colorado?” I asked hopefully.

  He nodded and continued into the piano room—Biggs’s makeshift communications center.

  “Wait, what can I do to help?” I asked, running down the stairs, completely forgetting my headache and sore body.

  “You can start by getting properly dressed. You look like you just rolled out of bed,” he called from out of sight.

  I stood at the foot of the stairs, evaluating my attire. “I did.” Before I could head back upstairs to dress and pack, Jake walked in through the front door, his face drawn. Sarah and Biggs were still shouting at each other in the front yard, and I could tell not everyone was happy to be leaving.

  Jake seemed like a different person than he’d been the night before. He had dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept at all, and his shoulders hung under the weight of his anxiety. I could feel it emanating from him and knew he was dreading returning home.

  Timidly, I approached him, unsure what to say. I wanted to console him—to tell him everything would be fine—but I knew I couldn’t promise such a thing.

  “Hey,” I said dumbly.

  “Morning.” He managed a weak smile, but he was clearly distracted. He looked at his nonexistent watch. “You slept in.”

  “Yeah, I guess I did.”

  Jake was more intimidating without the liquid courage flowing through me. I recalled his concern from the night before—that I wouldn’t remember the kiss—and hoped the heat in my cheeks and my shy grin told him otherwise.

  I met his eyes. “So, H told me we’re leaving,” I said to break our silence.

  Jake only nodded.

  “I’m assuming you’re coming too?”

  He smirked, finally showing some of the playfulness from the night before. “I told you I can’t let you get yourself into more trouble without me being there. You’re a magnet for it, you know?”

  Although he was teasing me, there was truth in his words, and I was grateful to him for skirting around wounding my pride.

  The door flung open, and Sarah stomped into the foyer, Biggs trailing behind her. “It’s a horrible idea, Riley, and you know it!” she yelled.

  Biggs stopped in his tracks and looked down at the marble floor.

  When Sarah heard his footsteps come to a halt, she took a deep breath and turned around. “Look, I understand you want to leave with your team. I don’t want them to leave us any more than you do, but we have a baby to think about now. We have a pretty good idea of what we’ll come up against out there, and I don’t want to chance anything. Do you?”

  As the scene unfolded, I felt completely out of place. But I stayed anyway.

  “And what’ll we do here?” Biggs argued. “We’ll be alone, Sarah. Is that what you want? To sit here and die alone? Eventually that could happen you know? We haven’t even been to the city yet, who knows what condition it’s in. We’re living in a bubble. We can’t stay here forever.”

  Biggs walked to Sarah as some small semblance of understanding registered on her face. “I’m only one person, and we have our whole lives ahead of us. We have a baby that’s going to need to be delivered by someone who knows what the hell they’re doing. We can’t stay here out of fear. What if something happened to me? What would you do, alone…with a baby?”

  Wiping away her sudden tears, Sarah cleared her throat. “Nothing will happen to you, and we have plenty of food here,” she said, grasping for anything that might change his mind. I could tell that the thought of never seeing her home again was heartbreaking to her. She was worried, and I assumed she feared she’d never feel comfortable like she did in her home.

  “Yeah, maybe for a while. But do you really want it to be just you and me for the rest of our lives? I love you, Babe. I really do, but it’d be nice to have someone else to talk to, a family to share our memories with, and friends to laugh with and help us when we need it.”

  The tears continued to run freely down Sarah’s face, and Biggs wiped them away with his thumbs. “I don’t want to go.” Her voice was weak as she gasped for air.

  “I know, Babe.” He pulled her into a hug, gently rubbing her back and whispering reassurances in her ear. He bent down, gathered her up into his arms, and scaled the stairs toward her bedroom.

  I looked back at Jake as he walked out the front door, rubbing the back of his neck as memories of Gabe and Becca flashed in his mind. Cooper whined, his tail hanging low as he trailed behind him.

  47

  ZOE

  After a day of planning and packing, we loaded our clothes, food, medical supplies, and everything else into the two vehicles. Once Sarah had taken a moment to say goodbye to her childhood home, she locked the doors for the final time and joined Biggs in Dave’s truck. Finally, we were headed to Colorado…unsure if we had enough fuel to make it.

  Riding in Dave’s truck proved to be too difficult for me because of the memories it provoked. The scratch on the center console reminded me of the many times Sammy had scampered between the front and back seats, and the miniature stuffed Wally—the mascot for the Red Sox—swinging from the rearview mirror made me think of Dave winning it at the Suffolk County Fair. Although I remembered the happier times we’d shared, my thoughts continuously circled back to our rocky relationship near the end…before his death. Did he suffer? For how long? Was he with Stacey? An hour into the journey, I opted to switch vehicles and ride in the van with Sanchez and Harper.

  “I never asked you what led to the sudden decision to leave,” I said to Harper as we drove through the middle of nowhere, otherwise known as Kansas. “Did something happen?”

  Harper considered my question too carefully before answering. “I had an unsettling vision.”

  “About…?” I prompted.

  “About Clara, so…Sanchez and I thought it’d be best to leave.” For what seemed like the hundredth time in only a few minutes, Harper glanced into the rearview mirror

  The mere mention of Clara’s name made me feel like a million invisible spiders were scurrying over my skin, and I rubbed my arms. “What was in the vision? I mean, what happened?”

  Harper’s eyebrows drew together as he tried to make sense of what he’d seen. “She was in a dark room, smiling evilly. She was leaning over someone I couldn’t see, and she said something like, ‘When I’m done with you, you won’t remember anyone…you won’t even know who you are.’” His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “I knew she was going to hurt whoever it was, and the hatred in her eyes worried me…I thought it might be you. When I told Sanchez about it, we decided we should keep moving.” Harper’s frequent glances in the rearview mirror were starting to make more sense. “There’s strength in numbers,” he said and then shook his head. “…at least there used to be.” I thought of Cece and all the trouble she’d caused. It didn’t work out so well for Dani and Jason.

  By the time we’d reached Garden City to look for Harper’s uncle, Curtis—who was nowhere to be found—the van had run out of fuel. Unable to find mor
e, we shuffled all of our belongings from the van to the truck. Wanting to get off the main road and set up camp, we all piled into the truck—Jake, Cooper, and Harper riding in the bed—and drove along Highway 50, following the Arkansas River over the Colorado border.

  We thought our fuel would last the rest of the way, but we ran out about a hundred miles from our destination and were forced to continue on foot. We sorted through all of our things, separating what we were taking from what we would leave behind. We eventually distributed the food, medical supplies, and camping gear among us, adding whatever personal items we could fit in our packs. Because we’d lost most of our belongings in the fire, we didn’t leave much behind.

  After a week of walking in the cold, we arrived in Pueblo, a city south of Colorado Springs filled with ample food, medical, and hygiene supplies, plus weapons. It didn’t escape our attention that Pueblo was completely abandoned. Although we thought it strange that there were no survivors to speak of, not even Crazies, I wasn’t complaining. Jake, however, became increasingly wary—I could feel his apprehension grow the closer we drew to the Colony. Thankfully, he knew the surrounding area well, and after a long discussion, we agreed to wait for Dani’s group south of Colorado Springs, in a valley near an old mining town called Cañon City. I was too busy worrying about how Dani would find us to pay much attention to the conversation.

  It was on our third day of trekking through the valley, looking for the perfect place to set up camp, that we stumbled upon a ramshackle ranch. We knew my brother and Dani would not only bring more people to our group, but horses as well. Knowing my crimson-haired friend, I assumed she had probably collected a few other critters along the way too. We all agreed the abandoned ranch would be sufficient in serving as our new, temporary home. Although the rusted tack and rustic farm tools made it seem like the place hadn’t been used in years, the new, nearly finished roof and an unfinished foundation a few hundred feet away indicated otherwise. Inside, the weathered, red barn provided enough stalls that each of us could convert one into our own sleeping quarters—hay bales for seating, sleeping bags, and our few belongings were all that filled them.