“Didn’t I tell you before, NO noise? You will be punished for your little outburst!” he snarls in my ear.
I panicked; I tried to close my legs. I thought Iron Grip, Chastity Belt, maybe if I willed it enough it will be true. I tried with all of my strength to close myself off too him. But, he has always been much stronger. I stopped fighting and opened myself to him. If I continued on my quest to stop him I will make the punishment much worse. So, I lay there exposed and shivering, wondering what punishment this sick fuck will come up with this time.
I lay there willing myself to show no fear. He looks down at me with a glint in his eyes. He looks at me as if I were the doe and he be the hunter.
“You defiant little BITCH!”
He’s mad! Maybe, I should have shown the fear. Maybe, I’m being too arrogant by facing him. Fix it Amber…Fix it!
“What did I do? I’m sorry…I won’t make any more noise. Please, please let’s just finish.”
“Let’s just finish. I tell you when I’m done, not the other way around.” He says in a hushed chuckle.
We watched each other for what seems like forever. I knew it was only seconds that passed, the anticipation of his crazed reaction made it feel much longer though. I was terrified. He released my hands that were trapped above my head. Could he be done with me? I began to move in order to rearrange myself. He allowed me to close myself to him. He gracefully slid off the bed, his eyes never loosing contact with mine, not even for a second. He watched me…No, he stalked me. He watched every minute movement I made because that’s what a lethal predator does.
“Are you comfortable?” He asked.
“No, not really.” I say tartly.
He raised his eyebrow as if to say, “Oh, you want to be a smart ass now?” He bends down by his clothing. Still, his eye contact did not waiver. My stomach twisted, my breathing sped up.
I broke eye contact for a quick second. I wanted to know…no, I had to know what he was retrieving from the floor. I slowly drag my eyes down his nakedness until I reached his hands. In the left hand, he held a sock. In the right hand, he held his belt.
“What…what are you doing?” I say frantically. I gathered the covers around me as if it were some magical shield.
“This is your punishment.” He said with a smile on his face.
He advanced on me like a raging bull. He moved so fast! One minute, I was shaking huddled in my cover thinking this sexual escapade was over. The next minute, my hands are tied together, strapped to my headboard and I’m being gagged with a sock.
“You can’t make noise now! Open for me!” He demands of me.
I want to run… but, where too? I want to tell… but, tell who? I’m perfect, beautiful, Amber Wallace! I am the daughter of a world renowned heart specialist and the towns prominent Lawyer. I have everything anyone could ever dream of, a big beautiful house, family vacations, the only child. Heaven forbid, I’m 18 years old, a senior in high school; I am an honor roll student. I drive a Jaguar to school every day. Who would believe that perfect Amber has it this ruff? Nobody, that’s who!
I have no other choice, I am reduced to do the only thing I could do. The only thing I’ve been trained to do, since I was 12 years old. I opened myself to him. I opened my legs wide so that he could get a good look at my glory. I could struggle, I could have tried to scream, but why? I tried the screams and the struggles for almost six months when it first started. Look where it has gotten me.
NOWHERE!!!
Like he said, I will love him and…I do. It’s a sick love, a demented love, but its love non-the-less. What’s that saying: “It’s a thin line between love and hate.” I hate him with every morsel of my soul, but no matter how strongly I will myself to hate….a small part of me still loves. So, I surrender.
“Do you want the rest of your punishment?”
Without the use of sound I nod my head. He lowers his mouth down to my breast and captures my nipple between his teeth. He bites me hard enough that tears well up and threatened to overflow their banks. I will not give him the satisfaction of my tears, I tell myself. He released the pressure and suckles my nipple as if I were his first drink in days. His hand travels down my body until he finds my opening.
“You want me?”
I did not respond to the question. Do I want him? No…Yes…How am I supposed to feel? I’m supposed to hate him…But, I don’t…not entirely…he is my father. It’s encoded in our DNA, that all children love their parents.
Aren’t all little girls from birth expected to love their daddies? Go give your daddy a kiss. Go give your daddy a hug. Go sit on daddy’s lap. You’re daddy’s little girl. Where is the warning label that list your daddy’s potential flaws? What could a little girl do if she gets a defective daddy, one that take liberties when there should be none? Where is the disclaimer for my defective daddy….I had none! Where was my speech from my mommy, telling me that my daddy was not supposed to touch me there? Where was the speech that said, the touches are deceptive and you most definitely will feel pleasure there?
Does that make me as sick as him? Am I as much to blame for these encounters as he is?
I was brought back from my inner debate by a suddenness of pain. I knew what he was capable of; I should not have kept him waiting. He shoved not one, not two, not three, but all four fingers inside of me, to the knuckle joints. The tears that I desperately tried to hold back could not be held any longer. After I clearly gave the reaction that he was seeking, he withdrew from my body. Next, the sock was removed, but I remained bound. My role tonight is to be the character he has taught me to be…his submissive lover.
“Will you answer my questions now or will you continue to make noise?”
“Yes…No.” I responded in a choked voice.
“Yes…No. What are you saying yes too and which question is no, Amber?” Smiling, he asked his question.
“Yes, I will answer your questions. No, I will not make noise. I will only make noise if you want me too.”
“Good Girl!” He lowered himself on me. He slowly, gently glided his shaft into my opening. My legs naturally wound around his waist.
“Good Girl! You know what daddy likes. You know what daddy wants.” He said in a strained voice.
“Yesss!” This was my only response.
How could I not, know what he wants? How could I not, know what he likes? He beat and choked his likes and dislikes in me the whole six months of my futile fighting and screaming fits.
He, like me, knew my likes and dislikes. He slowly, gently glided his shaft in and out of me. He rode my body at this slow pace until my breathing sped up. He knew I was close, so close. He released his grip on my waist and replaced his hand over my mouth. His pace started to pick up, he was pounding my body relentlessly. There were no more gentle strokes, the time has passed.
“Come for me!” His voice was crazed and strained.
His hand tightened across my mouth. Just his words made me explode. My inner muscles clenched him tight inside of me. He was my prisoner, he was at my mercy. My scream of release was muffled by his hand over my mouth. His guttural release followed soon after.
Afterwards, I lay here wishing he would hurry and extract himself from my room. I’m in need of a shower. It’s essential that I remove his scent from my skin. As I lay here, with the guilt of this sexcapade riding me strongly, I start to pick myself apart once again. My body is as treacherous and deceptive as the bastard lying next to me. How could I enjoy this? How could my body enjoy this? I have come to the conclusion that I am as sick as he is.
I’m-Going-To-Hell!!!
Chapter 3
Beep----Beep---Beep---Beep----Beep
“Where am I?”
“Amber, Amber babe, open your eyes.”
I slowly open my eyes to reveal a stark white room. I tried to move, but the sharp pain in my arm advised me against that. After a few moments to adjust to my surroundings I lifted my arm to find a tube attached to it. I followed that tube until my eyes caught
sight of my mother. Relief, doesn’t begin to describe the look on her face.
Beep, Beep---Beep, Beep----Beep, Beep---Beep, Beep
My heart is threatening to jump out of my chest. What the hell is going on?
“Amber, calm down love.” Mom said.
“What’s going on mom?” Tears started trailing down my face. I was scarred, disoriented and the last thing that I remember is……
“NOOOO…MOM WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I DO? WHAT-DID-I-DO?”
I was yelling at the top of my lungs by this point. Hysterical, doesn’t explain my frame of mind at this juncture in time. Whatever machine they had me hooked to confirm it. The damn thing beeped non-stop and the sounds coming from the machine were loud, which drove me over the edge.
“Sandra, get the doctor, now!”
I could barely make out my dad’s face through the tears. I could barely make out his voice through my screams. I knew my mother would leave me in the room on his command. I hear her feet shuffling across the floor and the door clicking shut as my dad approach my bed.
“Please stop crying babe, it’s alright. Calm down.” He said in a soothing voice. He leans over the bed and with the gentlest of touch started to wipe the tears from my face.
“What happened dad? Why am I in the hospital?” I managed to ask through the sobs and my uncontrollable hiccups. His voice was so soothing when he responded.
“I went to the school after you were admitted to the hospital. You have been unconscious for three days, Amber. The principal stated that Alicia approached you with accusations of sleeping with her boyfriend.” His voice was deceptively calm, but I knew better.
The monitors went wild as he finished his last sentence. I started to respond, I was masterfully silenced as he placed his manicured finger across my lips.
“Amber, from what your principal has gathered from the other students, Alicia threatened to kill you. One minute Alicia had you pinned to the locker the next, your both unconscious.” He took this moment to bend down and kiss my forehead. He started to run his fingers through my hair.
“Alicia has a broken jaw, broken nose and she received stitches to close the gash on her lip. Her parents wanted to file charges against you. I’M THE BEST FUCKING LAWYER IN TIMBER FALLS! If, they thought I would stand for that, they were wrong! That bitch threatened you… my baby…she was the instigator. I have plenty of witnesses to prove that point. They would never win their case. I informed them that it is my right to file charges on their goddamned daughter! Food for fucking thought - because they called yesterday to tell me that their daughter was in the wrong. They will not be filing charges.”
He said the last sentence calmly, as he look down at me and smile. The ferocity and gently sway of this declaration clearly shows his mental capability at this moment. The man can go from zero to sixty and vice versa, sixty to zero in a matter of seconds. I must tread lightly. This man leaning over my bed right now is UNSTABLE!
“You have been suspended from school for three weeks, Amber, but that’s not important. I’m sure you can find something to do for three weeks around the house.” He winks at me.
One minute he was smiling, the next minute the smile was gone. The fingers that mere minutes ago were gently combing through my hair, has now turned to weapons that are inflicting extreme pain. He clinched his fist around the roots of my hair. He bends down so close to my face that I can no longer keep his face in focus. This is the point where my body should have gone into fight or flight mode. But, I cannot fight and I can only dream of flight. I go from just being merely scared to being fossilized in terror of what’s to come. The monitors were going crazy. My breathing was erratic, little whimpers escape my lips.
“What did I do dad? Please stop, you’re hurting me!” I said in a strained voice.
“Who the fuck is Jason, Amber?” He yanks my head to the side by the roots of my hair.
“Did you give this Jason, MY PUSSY AMBER?” His grip tightens in my hair. I’m positive that I will have a bald spot where he is tugging and ripping my hair from my scalp.
“Never!” I cried silent tears. “I would never give away what is yours. He’s just my friend dad.” Maybe if I keep reminding him that he is my father, he would briefly dissociate from this delusion of his, that I was his woman.
“I told you before Amber, you may date, but you can never give away what is mine. Do you hear me?” He yanks my hair with such might, I felt some of my hairs pull from their roots.
“I will never…I have never given myself to another man, only you no one else, I swear!”
“We’ll see!”
He holds my neck at an odd angle which brings my face within centimeters of his. While his right hand held my hair in a death grip by the roots, his left hand finds its way under my hospital gown. He thrust two fingers inside me. This was not for pleasure, this was not for pain; this crude method is his way of measuring my womanly innards. He is no one’s doctor, this is not a tried and deemed true method; this is another of his sick and twisted demeaning acts I am expected to bear.
His fingers flex inside my vagina as he spreads them wide inside me, to use as a guide to see if there was the tiniest bit of change to my inner walls. After he is done with his inspection, he slides his fingers out of my opening, he releases his grip on my hair, but he keeps his face close to mine.
“Every time you leave my home for anything other than school, I will be checking you. I refuse to let you go to anyone’s bed. YOU-ARE-MINE!”
His lips crushed down on mine with such force my teeth cut the inside of my lip. I tasted my blood in my mouth as he lifted his face, stood straight and started running his fingers through my hair. Just then, the door opened to reveal the ideal picture of father and daughter. To everyone entering the room he looked like a concerned parent he has always portrayed himself to be, but I knew better. This business man, this doting dad, this concerned dad, is really a sexual predator…a sociopath, and I must tread lightly. I must bide my time because when I graduate this nightmare will be left far behind me.
I look up to see my father slowly inserting the two fingers that were moments ago inside of my most tender spot, into his mouth. His eyes are closed as he savors the essence of me from his fingers. The satisfied look upon his face has sealed the deal for me. As soon as school is over, I will run… far away… from this sick man because if I don’t, he will never let me go.
I don’t know what made me turn my head, maybe, it was the revulsion at seeing this blatant act of possession from my father that I have never seen before. Maybe, it was as simple as me reaching the end of my rope with this irrational man standing in front of me. My eyes landed on my mother. She wore a look of confusion upon her face at my dads’ behavior.
One thing is for sure, I cannot worry if she will finally reveal the secret that lies beneath her feet. All I can do is prepare myself for the weeks to come. Please GOD, give me the strength to hang on.
PLEASE! I BEG YOU GOD, PLEASE, GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO ENDURE WHAT’S TO COME!
If Weeping Willows Could Really Weep
If Weeping Willows really could weep the picture of this majestic tree would be me.
Oh, if Weeping Willows could really weep, it would weep for me for the past three…..weeks.
Within these weeks I have become… weak. My beautiful branches that once stood erect and strong have drooped in misery from unwanted attention pressed upon me All – Day - Long.
Unwanted hands, examines my limbs. Unwanted eyes, visualize my braches naked in the upcoming seasons that falls from the skies. Unwanted touches penetrate my many orifices, to pull away with nectar that is slow to leak from the many wounds that the unwanted hands, unwanted eyes, unwanted touches have afflicted on me. But, I appear to be, but a lonely tree so; I will continue to stand majestically.
My tears, my pain, my struggles…I’m no longer sane. But, you will never see this part of me because my roots run so deep. They support the weaker parts of me.
Oh
, if Weeping Willows could really weep it would be me. If only you took the time to really see.
My crown of ground sweeping branches is covered in shimmering foliage that upon closer sight, you cringe in fright, of the discovery of why my limbs shimmer so bright.
The millions of tears that I’ve shed have crystallized. Oh, the secrets that my soul is required to bear, makes me shed tears of shimmering despair. Does anyone even care?
If Weeping Willows could really weep, it would weep from the knowledge that no one person seems to help …me!
Everyone sees this graceful refined tree and think how beautiful it appears to be. They never pull back the limbs and examine the person within…sorry… they never pull back the limbs to examine the inner tree, that stands within the confines of the devils lands, unbeknownst to the unknowing man.
Spoiled Secrets Page 2
