Sainted

by Slade, Heather

  Studying Harper, I thought back on how, when I’d first met her on the plane, she reminded me so much of the woman I’d affectionately called Charlie but now knew as Emme. There were ways she still did, but now I saw her, not the woman who’d merely been an unrequited infatuation.

  “Once in Cambridge, Dr. Benjamin made the suggestion that Dr. Charles be recruited as an MI6 asset on Chinese intelligence. My handler at the time—who is now Dr. Charles’ husband—agreed to assign me that task.”

  Harper’s eyebrows rose at my mention of my colleagues’ marital status.

  “That is an entirely different conversation.” While I’d spoken the words, that I truly had every intention of sharing the story with her, stunned me.

  Harper stood. “I’d like some water. Would you?”

  I was about to stand to fetch it for her when she put her hand on my arm.

  “I can get it.”

  I stayed put and allowed my gaze to linger on her backside when she walked away. I brought my hand to my face, closed my eyes, and inhaled her lingering scent. I’d not wash that hand as long as it remained, knowing it would too soon dissipate. The thought left me bereft. I adjusted my tightening trousers, getting myself repositioned before she reentered the room and handed a glass to me.

  “I wasn’t sure if you wanted ice. I prefer it without.”

  I took a sip and set it on the table beside me.

  “I’m sorry I interrupted you. Please go on.”

  “It wasn’t long before Adam—Dr. Benjamin—came to me, begging for my help with something I should’ve known better than to agree to.”

  I explained to Harper that the doctor had confided in me things MI6 had not been aware of. That we hadn’t learned the information on our own should’ve served as warning the man was far wilier than he’d been given credit, but it didn’t.

  “He told me he’d had a long-term love affair with a woman named Jinyan Yanli. She was a Hong Kong law professor and activist who was also the mother of Adam’s only child, a son, now an activist in his own right.”

  Harper sat forward in her chair. “I’m sorry to be so wide-eyed, but—wow—this is fascinating.”

  “What happened next was the beginning of the end for me. China had been negotiating heavily for Jinyan to be extradited back to the mainland to face criminal charges. Something the US, who had granted her asylum, was quite unwilling to do. Complicating matters was her desire to return.”

  “Why would she want to do that?”

  “Two reasons. First, she was dying. Second, according to Dr. Benjamin, the Chinese were trying to make her believe they had her son in custody.”

  “But they didn’t?”

  I shook my head. What I’d done next was one of the stupidest decisions I made in my life. As I told Harper, I allowed Adam to convince me to go to Hong Kong with him.

  “Once there, everything got exponentially worse. Almost immediately, we were picked up by the Chinese government and detained. As should’ve been expected, they then had plenty of leverage to negotiate an exchange.”

  “For Yanli?”

  “That’s right.” I was surprised Harper remembered the woman’s name, but I suppose I shouldn’t have been. She had been listening with rapt attention.

  “Was the deal made?”

  I shook my head. “No, what happened was far worse for my career, but it did keep Benjamin from doing something rash.”

  Harper put her elbow on the chair’s arm and rested her head on her hand. “What happened? Oh my gosh, I feel like I’m watching a movie.”

  “A joint US and UK team was sent in to extract us.”

  “In Hong Kong?”

  “By that time, we were in China.”

  “Wow,” she whispered.

  I was glad she didn’t ask for any further details since the extraction was anything but quick, easy, or efficient. In fact, one of the former MI5 agents who were part of the team had been shot in his right arm and came close to losing use of it.

  “You asked why I was sacked. Mainly because I did the exact opposite of my orders and allowed Adam Benjamin to manipulate me into doing his bidding—something an MI6 agent learns not to do in basic training.”

  She nodded as if she understood, which didn’t surprise me at all.

  “The thing of it is, I came to look at Adam almost as a father figure. It’s pitiful, really, but the man had a sadness about him that made me want to take care of him.” I still wondered if the doctor had picked up on that and used it to ensure I’d do his bidding. “Anyway, to answer your direct question, that is why I lost my job.”

  “So, um, Saint. There’s something I need to tell you too.”

  My first inclination was to get up and pour myself a drink. Instead, I took a sip of my water.

  “I’m not sure how to say this, but after what happened earlier, I can’t let this go on without being honest with you.”

  My hand gripped the glass more tightly as my urge for a drink grew stronger. What in bloody hell was Harper about to tell me? It sounded as though she was about to say she’d gotten back together with the dickbeater.

  “Go on,” I said through gritted teeth.

  “I sent an email to my father—”

  “You’re leaving?” I couldn’t bear to wait for her to cut to the chase.

  “Actually, no.”

  “You’re not leaving?”

  “Not London, anyway. If you want me to find another place to stay, I suppose I’d leave then.”

  “Circle back to the email you sent to your father.” I remembered her mentioning something earlier about my not being stuck with her. She’d been upset. Crying. “I take it your father has refused to fork over the money for your ticket home.”

  Her cheeks flushed red. “I’m mortified.”

  I stood and moved my chair closer to her. I sat back down, held her hands in mine, and took a deep breath. “Harper.”

  She smiled. “Saint.”

  “While I’ve said, time and again, that I would like nothing more than for you to stay on with me indefinitely, I will not keep you a prisoner. If what you truly want is to return home, I will purchase your ticket. No strings attached, as they say.”

  “Do you want me to leave?”

  I rolled my eyes as she was so often prone to do. “I’m not certain there are more ways I could state otherwise, Miss Godfrey. However, for the last time, I do not want you to leave. I want you to stay. Not just in London, I want you to stay here at the flat, with me.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay? I beg you to elaborate.”

  “I would like to stay.”

  I got to my feet, pulling her up with me. I gathered her in my arms in an embrace designed to convey my delight at her decision. However, her body was plastered against mine, flooding my mind with visions of what I wanted to do to her nakedness. Rather than act on my desires, I sat back down and indicated she should do the same.

  “About what happened earlier.” I’d seen Harper’s face flush bright red on several occasions, but this time, it bordered on purple. I squeezed her hands. “Take a deep breath for me, Harper.”

  “If you’re about to say—”

  “How about if I actually say the words before you hear them?”

  “I’m sorry. It’s just that—”

  “Harper.” I furrowed my brow and used my sternest voice. “Let me speak.”

  She nodded.

  “About what happened earlier, I want you to know that from this moment on—”

  Her face was purple again, and it appeared she was about to cry.

  “Bloody hell.” I stood, but instead of pulling her up with me, I put my arms around her, lifted her from the chair, and carried her down the corridor to the bedroom I’d intended to suggest we retire to. Actually, I was going to suggest she retire there, and every word she’d feared I’d say had been on the tip of my tongue. Now, though, I couldn’t possibly say I believed we should curtail any romance between us and remain just friends on
ly so she didn’t feel undue pressure. I wanted her to be comfortable here. Feel secure. It sounded as though few people in her life would provide such a respite for her.

  When I rested her body on the bed and sat beside her, Harper turned her back to me.

  “You don’t need to say it. I get it, okay? I’m not exactly Cherry whatever her name is.”

  “You are nothing like her. You are—”

  “A dolt.”

  “Hey, now.” I tried to get her to turn toward me, but she refused to budge.

  “Thank you for what you did for me earlier. As you said, I really needed it. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone.”

  This was going all sorts of wrong, but given Harper had interrupted me multiple times, I decided to do as she asked. Since she was staying on, there would be plenty of time for us to talk in the morning.

  Rather than returning to the living room, where the first thing I’d do would be to pour myself a drink, I went into my bedroom and flopped down on the bed.

  Today had not gone at all the way I imagined, and it was my fault it hadn’t. The plain and simple truth was I couldn’t be trusted around any woman, except perhaps Miss Bardwell. If she weren’t like a grandmother to me, she’d likely be unsafe in my presence as well.

  The fact that the first solution I came up with to the problem at hand was to scroll through the contacts in my phone was further proof that I was more the man my uncle believed me to be than the man I kept insisting I wanted to become.

  13

  Harper

  I studied my tear-stained face in the mirror, wishing I was one of those people capable of keeping their emotions in check. I never had been, and it annoyed practically everyone in my life. Even my mom, who was twice as bad as me. It drove my father so crazy when I would tear up at the slightest thing, I once heard him say he wished he’d had a son instead.

  Dave hated it too. Although, I’d say it would be a safe bet to assume Dave hated everything about me. I was a “mark” to him. Nothing more.

  I pulled out my phone and calculated the time. It would be early afternoon in DC. Mouse might be at work, but that had never stopped me from calling before. Or her from calling me. I pressed her number and waited, remembering then that I couldn’t get a signal inside Saint’s apartment. I grabbed a jacket, toed on the shoes I’d just taken off, and slipped out of the bedroom door. I expected to find Saint in the living room, but he wasn’t there or in the kitchen. I crept back down the hallway and was about to knock on his door to let him know I was going out to make a phone call.

  “You’ve no idea how good it is to hear your voice,” I heard him say. “Would that I could see you tonight, but I’m afraid I have a houseguest.” There were several seconds of silence before I heard him add, “I’ll do my best to get away tomorrow. Earlier in the day would be better, but I’ll see if I can figure out a way to meet you for dinner. Soon, I promise.” More silence. “Yes, luv, I miss you too.”

  As silently as possible, I tiptoed across the hall, eased open the bedroom door, and closed it behind me. Rather than risk bursting into tears where I might be heard, I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

  I didn’t cry, though, like I thought I would. I didn’t know Saint well enough to shed tears because he had someone he loved. He’d said it himself. He wanted me to stay because he was lonely. Now that whoever the love was, was back in town, she could keep him company.

  I took a deep breath, splashed cool water on my face, and reached in to turn off the shower. I needed to make a plan to leave. I wasn’t foolish enough to go wander the streets of London alone tonight. Tomorrow, when he made up some excuse to go see his “love,” I’d leave as soon as I was sure he was well on his way.

  Desperate times, as they say, called for desperate measures. If my mom couldn’t come up with the money for the plane ticket, I’d ask Mouse. If Mouse couldn’t, I’d call my dad again, and this time, I’d beg.

  After getting very little sleep, I waited until I heard both Saint’s and Miss Bardwell’s voices, then showered and stuffed what little I’d taken out into my suitcase, hoping I could figure out a way to get it out of the flat without her noticing. Worst-case scenario, I’d leave without it. Everything in it would either remind me of Douchey Dave or Saint anyway.

  I lingered, hoping I’d hear the sound of the elevator or some other indication Saint had left. When enough time had passed that I realized he must be waiting for me before leaving, I rolled my shoulders, steeled my resolve, and opened the bedroom door.

  When I saw Saint at the end of the hallway with his brow furrowed rather than in the kitchen, I worried I’d upset his morning.

  “Everything all right?” he asked.

  “I was about to ask you the same thing.”

  “Fine. Fine.”

  “You don’t look fine.”

  “I considered knocking on your door or, worse, scanning the security footage. I worried you’d left in the night.”

  “Why?” Oh, no. Did he know I’d eavesdropped on his conversation?

  He stepped closer and put his hands on my shoulders. “Because I’m such a bloody wanker. Because I continually do and say the wrong thing. Because I desperately want you to stay, and that alone should give you cause to escape under the cover of night.”

  “As if that would stop you from following her to the ends of the earth,” Miss Bardwell said as she scooted past us toward the bedroom.

  “Brilliant. That helps a great deal. Thanks ever so much,” Saint drolled.

  She chuckled and winked at me. “Good morning, miss.”

  “Good morning, Miss Bardwell.”

  Saint dropped his hands and smiled. “Anyway, good morning, Harper. I trust you slept well.”

  I was a terrible liar, even with something as mundane as how I slept. “Not really,” I confessed.

  Saint took my hand and led me out of the hallway entrance. “How about breakfast? Might that help? Maybe just coffee?”

  “Sure. Thanks.” I wriggled my hand free from his grasp and went in the direction of the kitchen with him following close enough that his palm rested on the small of my back. When we walked through the doorway, I gasped. The table was set with breakfast already plated. It looked as though it had been for some time.

  “You didn’t have to wait for me.”

  “I prefer your company.”

  If I hadn’t eavesdropped on his conversation last night, I would’ve been flattered. Instead, I was annoyed. “What are your plans for the day? Or perhaps this evening?” I snapped.

  His eyes scrunched. “I thought we’d discuss that over breakfast. I do have a couple of ideas that may interest you.” He pulled out a chair and waited until I sat before taking the seat beside me.

  “You don’t have to entertain me, Saint. Please don’t hesitate to do whatever you need to.”

  “Thank you for clearing that up for me, Miss Godfrey. May I ask what has you so surly this morning?”

  I took a deep breath followed by a sip of coffee. “I’m wondering if there’s someone else who might be able to help soothe your loneliness.”

  Saint raised a brow, but before he could speak, his cell phone rang. “Sorry, I’ve been expecting this call. Be right back.” He stood and left the kitchen.

  Moments later, I heard Miss Bardwell exclaim in delight but wasn’t able to hear what Saint had said to her.

  “You are in for a treat this morning,” she said, whirling into the kitchen and putting a kettle on the stove.

  “I am?” I said with less enthusiasm as I would have for a trip to the dentist.

  “Yes, quite. Miss Eliza is in town and about to pay a visit.”

  “One of Saint’s girlfriends, I presume,” I said through gritted teeth.

  Miss Bardwell laughed and walked over to rest her hand on my arm. “Not at all, but I do like seeing the fire jealousy brings to your eyes.”

  “I’m not jealous. I’ve no reason to be.” I wasn’t jealous at all. Not ove
r a man I barely knew—no matter how nice he’d been to me.

  “You’ve every reason. In the same way Niven was beside himself this morning, waiting for you to come out of the bedroom. I feared he’d wear a hole in the floor with his pacing.”

  We both stilled when we heard the elevator open followed by two voices.

  “She’s here!” squealed Miss Bardwell, racing out of the kitchen. Not knowing whether to follow, I stayed put.

  I still wasn’t certain if Eliza was one of Saint’s previous love interests since all Miss Bardwell had said was that she wasn’t one of his girlfriends. That didn’t mean she hadn’t been one in the past. As a mere houseguest, I wouldn’t join them until Saint decided it was appropriate for me to do so.

  “Where’s Harper?” I heard Saint ask. I stood at the same time he rushed into the kitchen with a very beautiful woman in tow.

  “Miss Godfrey, may I present Eliza Fox. Eliza, Harper.”

  “It is such a pleasure to meet you,” the woman said, stepping forward. Rather than shake my outstretched hand, she embraced me and kissed both of my cheeks. “You were right,” she said, turning to Saint. “She is lovely.”

  “Thank you,” I murmured, lowering my gaze when I didn’t know what else to say. Eliza, by contrast, was not lovely. She was gorgeous. In fact, she could very well be the female equivalent of Saint. “Wait. Are the two of you related?”

  Saint stepped around the woman and put his arm around my shoulders. “My apologies. I should’ve said. Eliza is my cousin. My only cousin, in fact.”

  “I heard you had the pleasure of meeting my father,” Eliza said, rolling her eyes. “My apologies if he said anything offensive. Which, clearly, he is prone to do.”

  “I’m attempting to beg off dinner with your parents for that very reason. However, now that you’re in town, that may prove harder to do.”

  “I’ve a better idea. Let’s plan a dine-out. That way, we can rest assured he won’t cause a scene.” Eliza turned to me. “We will also be sure to put Harper and him on opposite sides of the table.”

  I hadn’t thought Saint’s uncle—Eliza’s father—was rude, but I’d take their word for it.