Sainted

by Slade, Heather

“How do you know you were wrong?”

  I put Harper’s hand on my heart. “Because what I feel here when I’m with you, is unlike anything I’ve ever known.”

  “Saint, I—”

  “I realize I’m being a wanker yet again, interrupting you, but I must. This is going to come out wrong, but I hope you’ll give me the benefit of the doubt, like you always do.”

  “Say it.”

  “It doesn’t matter how you feel, Harper. What I feel for you isn’t dependent upon that. You don’t need to let me down easy by saying we hardly know each other or you simply don’t share my over-the-top declaration of affection. Nothing you say will change what’s in here.” I squeezed her hand that still rested on my heart. “I have one more thing to say.”

  “Okay,” she whispered.

  “I’ve never felt the sense of peace I do when I’m with you. I was a man without a mission, as they say. Or in my case, without a job. I saw no way around that, other than by completely changing my personality. That alone was a setup for failure. How does one change their personality? Anyway, I don’t feel that way anymore. What I know I need to do is find a place where I fit. In the same way you fit here, in Alfriston.”

  I waited for her to speak. Perhaps I’d stunned her with my proclamations. Or maybe she was afraid if she tried, I’d talk over her again.

  “Harper, please tell me what you’re thinking. I can’t bear not knowing.”

  She sat partway up, leaned on her elbow, and took my hand. When she rested it on her left breast, absolute tosser that I am, I squeezed it; Harper laughed but held my hand there anyway.

  “What I feel here when I’m with you, is unlike anything I’ve known. I couldn’t bear not knowing how you felt about me.” The words she used were almost verbatim of things I’d said.

  “What do we do now?”

  She shrugged again. “I guess you could ask me to move in with you. If you want to, that is. I’m kind of out of my element here. Dave didn’t even want to have sex with me.”

  I pulled her down so her head rested on my chest. “I have a request.”

  “What is it?”

  “Never use those words—Dave and sex—together again. As for the other thing you said, about me asking you to move in with me, you should know that I had second thoughts about buying Fox Run until I knew you wanted to be in Alfriston. I already own a flat I’m never at. Since wherever you are is where I want to be, I wondered if I should hold off until you knew.”

  “What if I go back to America?”

  “I will follow wherever you lead, Harper Godfrey. You are my touchstone.”

  “So, I guess I’m moving in.”

  “That, you are. I’m about to say another thing that will likely come out all wrong.”

  She put her arm around my waist and squeezed. “Go ahead.”

  “While I’d be more than happy if you remained sans clothes day and night—while we’re at home and alone—I’m wondering if you’re feeling as though you need more.”

  “If you mean clothes, then, yes. I didn’t see much in the way of clothing stores around here, but I figured they must have loads in London.”

  “Which reminds me. Dinner. We should probably be on our way by early afternoon.”

  “Since you mentioned it, I’d like to buy something a little less drab to wear tonight.”

  Harper in sackcloth would still be lovely as far as I was concerned, but I’d gladly do her bidding. “I’m reminded of something else. Two things, actually.”

  “Yes?”

  “It’s been brought to my attention that I somehow missed the invitation and subsequent RSVP for a friend’s wedding. I have since made amends, or intend to, and was wondering if you’d join me. It’s to be held on the island of Mallorca.”

  “Wow.”

  “And it’s next weekend.”

  “Was there anything else?”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “You said you were reminded of two things.”

  “Before I answer, does ‘wow’ mean you’re agreeing to join me?”

  “I suppose I must if wherever you go, I follow.” She winked at me.

  “Quite the opposite, my darling.”

  Her cheeks pinkened, and she cast her gaze downward.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I like it when you call me your darling.”

  “Then, I shall do it every day.”

  “How soon do we have to leave?”

  I checked the time. “Not for another hour or so.”

  When Harper unfastened the buttons on the shirt she was wearing and let it fall to the floor, all thoughts of what I wanted to tell her about my uncle vanished.

  21

  Harper

  My eyes almost popped out of my head when I saw the prices of the dresses in the boutique Saint brought me to. While I hadn’t expected it would be on par with the discount and secondhand shops where I usually bought my clothes, I didn’t expect a single dress to cost more than my first car. It wasn’t even an evening gown. Just a dress.

  “I’ve made a mess of this too, haven’t I?” Saint asked, snaking his arm around my waist.

  “It isn’t you. I’m just not used to…”—I lowered my voice—“everything being so expensive.”

  “My apologies. I’ve just received a message from Eliza, who first berated me for bringing you here and, second, recommended another shop you might enjoy more.”

  “Thank you,” I said to the woman who’d been staring at us with folded arms. She resembled the flight attendant Saint had said was wearing too much “batter.”

  Which reminded me. “I, um, don’t usually wear much makeup, so I didn’t bring any to London with me,” I said once we were out of the boutique.

  Saint stopped walking and cupped my cheek. “You don’t need it. You’re absolutely flawless without it.”

  “You’re very sweet to me.”

  “And you’re very beautiful. Oh, and Eliza sends her apologies that she won’t be joining us tonight. Hot date she evidently didn’t want to cancel.”

  “I’ll be okay with your uncle, Saint. Neither you nor Eliza needs to be so worried.” I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him.

  “Oh, I like that very much,” he murmured before angling his head to go deeper. When he ended our kiss and I opened my eyes, I saw someone duck around the corner. There was something odd about it.

  “Everything okay?” he asked.

  “Maybe your paparazzi.”

  “Where?”

  I pointed behind us.

  “Let’s be on our way, then.” Saint took my arm and led me over to his car.

  “You’re worried,” I said when he got in the driver’s side.

  “Occupational hazard.” He drove a short distance away and parked.

  “It’s so close; we could’ve walked.”

  “Ready?” he asked, motioning to the boutique adjacent to where we had stopped.

  After the last store, I no longer felt like shopping, but I didn’t want to embarrass Saint by showing up at his uncle’s house looking like a ragamuffin, as my grandmother used to say. I just hoped there was something I could afford at this one. Maybe I’d find something I could wear both to dinner tonight and to the wedding next weekend.

  After an hour, we left with two dresses, three pairs of pants, four sweaters, a jacket, and two pairs of boots. Saint convinced me I would soon need it all as the weather got colder both in London and in Alfriston.

  I’d hoped to see Miss Bardwell when we arrived at the flat, but Saint said she usually didn’t stay past noon when he wasn’t there.

  “What time is dinner?” I asked, realizing he’d never said.

  He was studying something on his phone. “Eight.”

  “What time do we need to leave?”

  “Sorry?”

  “Saint, is everything okay?”

  “Yes, fine.” He set his phone down and looked at me for maybe the first time since we arrived at the flat. “My apologie
s, Harper. Habit, I suppose. Anyway, to answer your question honestly, no, everything is not okay.” He walked over and poured himself a drink. “Fancy one?”

  I shook my head. I took the glass from his hand and pulled him over to the sofa. “No, thanks. Why don’t you talk to me instead? Tell me what’s got you so rattled.”

  “I received a message from Adam Benjamin, saying he’s on his way to Hong Kong.”

  “Oh.” I understood why Saint was so out of sorts. He’d put the man off three times, and now he’d gone off on his own.

  “You must be feeling like you let him down.”

  He rested his back on the sofa and looked up at the ceiling. “It’s like watching the same train wreck about to happen twice. The last time he pulled this, I went after him and we both landed in a Chinese detention center.”

  “What will you do this time?”

  He turned his head and looked into my eyes. “I honestly don’t know. I suppose that’s why I’m so bloody frustrated.”

  “What else is bothering you?”

  “How do you know there’s something else?”

  “Your tension is palpable, Saint.”

  “I don’t know whether to marvel at you or be terrified that you can read my mind.”

  “It isn’t your mind. Your moods are very easy to read.”

  “I’m thirty years old, and I don’t think anyone has said anything like that to me, ever.”

  “Maybe you never let anyone get close enough to.”

  “Or maybe I was just waiting for you.”

  “Stop trying to skirt the subject. What else is bothering you?”

  “Compared to Adam, it’s nothing.”

  I raised a brow and folded my arms.

  Saint laughed. “That’s the same look you had on your face on the plane when you were trying to get me to talk by keeping your mouth full of cheesecake.”

  “It worked.”

  “To a certain extent. What you didn’t know was how much I wanted to lick away the bit of strawberry that lingered on your lips.”

  When I didn’t respond, he sighed and picked up a framed photograph sitting on the table beside him. It was of a woman.

  “Today was my mother’s birthday.”

  “What happened to her, Saint?”

  He stood to get another drink, and this time, I didn’t try to stop him. “It isn’t something I talk about.” He kept his back to me long enough that I considered going into the bedroom I’d slept in when I first arrived to let him have some space.

  “There was an accident,” he said without turning around to face me. “My mother was thrown from a horse during a hunting event she hadn’t wanted to attend but my father insisted.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “She lingered on the brink of death for several days before finally succumbing to her injuries.” His voice sounded so different. Almost robotic.

  He finished the liquor in his glass and faced me. “As you can imagine, my father was racked with guilt. I was attending university at the time and, in hindsight, shouldn’t have returned after my mother’s funeral.”

  “How old were you when it happened?”

  “Nineteen when she died.”

  “And your father?”

  “I had just turned twenty when I got the call that he’d been in an automobile accident. The autopsy indicated he had three times the legal limit of alcohol in his bloodstream when he crashed his car into a tree.”

  I wanted to comfort him, but he was the one who’d put the space between us, and I respected his need. “I’ll let you have some time on your own if you’d like.”

  He crossed the room in what felt like a split second, sat beside me on the sofa, took off my glasses, and put his arm around my shoulders. “God, I’m sorry. You don’t need to hear all this.”

  It felt so good to have him close, I rested my head on his chest and put my arm around his waist. “I asked, Saint.”

  “That didn’t give me the right to dump it all on you. Look, I’ll call and tell them we have to cancel tonight. I don’t want to subject you to even more.”

  “No. Let’s go.” I didn’t want to say so we could just get it over with, but that’s how I felt.

  “If you’re certain you want to go through with it, I suppose we could manage a quick dinner and be on our way.”

  Something in my gut told me it couldn’t possibly be that easy.

  22

  Saint

  The moment we walked in, I knew this was a bad idea. My uncle was up to something; I was certain of it.

  “Welcome, Niven,” said Aunt Millicent. She approached, cheek-kissed me, and proceeded to look Harper up and down as if she was summing her up.

  “Niven,” said my uncle.

  “Nigel, you remember Harper Godfrey. Harper, this is my aunt, Millicent.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Harper said graciously but without her usual step forward to shake hands. “Hello, sir,” she said to Nigel.

  “Come in, come in.” My uncle motioned to the drawing room. “Can I get you a drink?”

  “Water, please,” answered Harper. Nigel raised a brow and looked at me.

  “I’ll have the same, thank you.”

  I saw a look pass between him and my aunt.

  “Very well,” he said, pouring himself a scotch and making no move to bring us our requested water. “I asked you here tonight to discuss Fox Run Cottage. I have a proposal for you.”

  Here it came, whatever it was he wanted me to do for him in order to secure my former position at MI6. I was glad he’d brought this up before we sat down to eat, given the subject made my stomach turn.

  “Uncle, I must insist you not do this. I will not take on an assignment on your behalf just to secure a job.”

  “An assignment? I’ve no idea what you’re talking about. My proposal relates to your marriage.”

  “Your what?” gasped Harper. Looking at her ashen face, I realized my mistake in bringing her here. When we ran into my uncle at Buckingham Palace, I’d worried he would think I’d heeded his advice and might say something that would make Harper think I was using her. How could I have not forewarned her about this?

  She leaned closer to me and whispered, “You’re married?”

  “No, he’s not,” my uncle answered before I could. “And that’s what I’d like to discuss. I’m curious as to why you haven’t yet announced an engagement. My sources tell me you and Miss Godfrey have been living together at the cottage. This is not the arrangement we discussed, Niven.”

  Harper studied me. “Arrangement?”

  “There is no arrangement,” I assured her. “Uncle, my being with Harper has nothing whatsoever to do with your demands that I marry.”

  He shook his head and smirked. “So, you haven’t confided in her yet. Well, the cat is out of the bag now, as they say.”

  “No. It’s nothing like that.” I turned to Harper. “I need you to believe me. I have no arrangement and have nothing to confide in you.”

  Her eyes stayed fixed on mine, but I couldn’t read her thoughts. Was she doubting me?

  She turned and looked first at my aunt, then at Nigel. “You said you have a proposal regarding Fox Run Cottage. What is it?”

  “Any proposals are off the table,” I spat, ready to stand and tell Harper it was time for us to leave.

  “No, I’d like to hear what he has to say.”

  My uncle got an evil glint in his eye. “Not quite as innocent as I thought. I suppose the fact that you’ve been sleeping with him should’ve made me realize that sooner.”

  “That’s it. We’re going.” I stood and held my hand out to Harper.

  She shook her head. “We’re not leaving until we hear your uncle out.”

  As much as I didn’t want to, I sat back down. “Very well, get on with it.”

  “I will grant you both unlimited access to Fox Run Cottage once you’ve announced your engagement, during which time I will make arrangements for a prenuptial agree
ment to be drawn up.”

  “You bloody wanker,” I muttered under my breath.

  “Once you’re married, I will allow you to purchase it as a wedding gift. After your eventual divorce, Niven will retain sole ownership of the estate as per the prenup.”

  I sat in stunned silence. He considered allowing me to buy the cottage a gift?

  “How long do you see this marriage lasting?” Harper asked before I could get my wits about me.

  “No more than five years.”

  “What about children?”

  “There will be none as per the agreement you will sign before the wedding.”

  I stood again. “This conversation is over,” I bellowed. “Harper, we’re leaving. I’ll listen to no more of this.”

  Thankfully, she stood too.

  “I’ll wait to hear your decision,” I heard my uncle say as we left the room and walked into the foyer. “My offer is good for forty-eight hours. If I don’t have your decision by then, you will forfeit any claim on Fox Run, and I will proceed with the sale to someone else.”

  I knew the last thing he said was bait, but the way I felt now, I didn’t care if he had another buyer or not. I wanted nothing to do with the cottage or with him.

  Once we were in the car, I turned to her. “Harper, I want you to know—”

  “Saint, please, let’s wait to discuss this at the flat.”

  “Of course.” I was dizzy with the idea that this was the end for Harper and me. If I’d only confided in her about my uncle’s demands before we went to their flat, this all could have been avoided. Now it was too late.

  “You said there were other things we needed to talk about,” Harper said once we arrived and she’d taken a seat in the living room. “Was this it?”

  “It was.” I walked over and poured myself a drink. There was no way I could get through this conversation without one.

  “I’d like one, please,” Harper said just as I was getting ready to take a seat.

  “Certainly.” I handed her my glass, poured another, and sat beside her.

  “Was this what you meant when you said your uncle wanted you to change your personality?”