The Surgeon's Engagement Wish

by Alison Roberts

  Roz emerged from the gift shop and received a smile from Luke warm enough to highlight just how chilly his words to Beth had been.

  ‘Hiya, Roz. Sorry, I can’t stop and chat just now. We’ll have to catch up soon with a coffee or something. Everything all right with that tribe of boys you live with?’

  ‘Great, thanks. You’ll have to come to dinner soon.’

  ‘Love to.’ And Luke was gone with a friendly wave to Roz and not even a glance back at Beth.

  Beth straightened her spine. She didn’t care. Luke would probably be avoiding her from now on and that should make things a lot easier. She should be happy.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Roz was giving her a curious look.

  Beth pasted a smile to her face. ‘I’m fine, really. Just a bit tired.’

  ‘Me, too. It’s been a busy day.’ Roz nodded her understanding and smiled back, clearly convinced that Beth was being honest.

  It was just a shame she couldn’t convince herself so easily.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  THE cigarette was ground out in the gravel of Ocean View hospital’s car park with an angry gesture and the pretty blonde woman sighed heavily as she climbed into the black Jeep.

  ‘I’ve just wasted my money, haven’t I? On those nicotine patches?’

  ‘Consider it an investment.’ Luke smiled. ‘They’ll keep.’

  Maree Winsome sighed again. ‘I’m hopeless, aren’t I? My brother is dying of lung cancer and I can’t give up smoking.’

  ‘Kev’s cancer has nothing to do with cigarettes. You know he’s never smoked in his life. The pancreas was the site of the primary tumour. It’s just spread to his lungs.’

  ‘I know. It’s so bloody unfair. It should be me.’

  ‘Don’t be daft. Life is often very unfair. We both know that.’

  Maree broke the silence after Luke started the vehicle and moved off. ‘This is really hard on you, too, isn’t it? You and Kev have always been so close.’

  ‘We’ve been best mates since we met at play centre when we were about three. The terrible duo, they used to call us.’

  Maree smiled. ‘I used to get so jealous of Jodie because she got to hang out with you guys. Did you know I had a huge crush on you when I was, like, twelve or thirteen?’

  ‘No kidding? No, I never knew that.’ Luke grinned. ‘Does John know about this?’

  ‘Of course. I was well over it by the time I met him.’

  ‘How is John?’

  ‘He’s fine. A bit worried about me. He’s coming over for the weekend and he said he’s looking forward to catching up with you.’

  ‘I haven’t seen John since…’ Luke had to clear his throat. ‘Hell, I haven’t seen him since Jodie’s funeral—just before you guys moved to Sydney.’

  ‘And I met him at Jodie and Kev’s wedding.’ Maree’s smile was poignant. ‘Small world, isn’t it?’

  ‘It’s smaller when you come from a place like this.’ Luke headed uphill and turned into a tree-lined avenue.

  ‘I miss it sometimes,’ Maree said. ‘Part of it, anyway. Not that I’d want to live here again. I like the pace of city life too much.’

  ‘I used to think like that. I’d never have come back for more than a few days’ visit if Jodie hadn’t got sick. And then I kept coming back because I couldn’t stay away.’

  ‘And now you wouldn’t live anywhere else, huh?’

  ‘It’s home,’ Luke agreed simply.

  Maree nodded. ‘I’d forgotten how much like an extended family a small community can be when you need support. Two of the neighbours turned up with casseroles last night and old Mr Donaghue from the end of the road came and mowed the lawns today without even being asked. And Mum would have no hope of coping with any of this if it wasn’t for your mum, Luke. She’s practically living at our house.’

  Luke pulled up in front of the old villa that badly needed a coat of paint as she spoke. ‘That’s what best friends are for.’

  ‘She’s amazing. And it must be so hard. I know it’s been four years but it must be bringing back so many memories of Jodie. For all of you.’

  ‘The memories have always been there. Kev was never able to let go.’

  Maree made no move to get out of the car. Her face was serious. ‘Do you think that’s made a difference, Luke? I mean, he hasn’t put up any kind of a fight, has he?’ She didn’t wait for a response. ‘It’s makes me so angry sometimes. What right has he got to just give up the will to live? Do his family and friends not count for anything?’

  ‘We count,’ Luke said gently. ‘But it isn’t our battle, love. All we can do is be here for him and help in any way he wants us to.’

  ‘Well, I don’t want to help him die.’ Fresh tears rolled down Maree’s cheeks and she wrenched the car door open and then slammed it shut behind her. She turned away from the house, however, reaching into her handbag for her packet of cigarettes. ‘You go on,’ she instructed Luke. ‘I need a few minutes to pull myself together.’

  ‘Want some company?’

  ‘You want to make me feel even guiltier by subjecting you to secondhand smoke?’ Maree managed a watery smile. ‘No. Go away, Luke. Kev’s been asking for you. You go and do the visiting thing.’

  It was no surprise for Luke to find his own mother completely at home and busy in Joan Winsome’s kitchen but, then, this house had always been a second home for him. The two families had been linked long before Kevin and Luke had become inseparable friends. Luke’s father, Don, had been more than an honorary uncle to the Winsome children after Joan’s husband had died when Maree had been a baby.

  The tragically brief marriage between Kevin and Luke’s twin sister, Jodie, had only deepened an already unbreakable bond, and Luke’s mother, Barbara, and Joan Winsome were closer than sisters. The twist of fate that was putting them through the unbearable pain of losing another young life was appallingly unfair but Luke knew they would get through this by leaning on each other.

  They all would. There was simply no other choice.

  The hug Luke gave his mother conveyed that message well enough for her to nod as she pulled away. And to smile.

  ‘Did Maree find you? She walked into the hospital to collect the morphine prescription.’

  ‘I gave her a ride home. She’s outside at the moment beating herself up over her smoking.’

  Barbara sighed. ‘I’ll go and talk to her. She’s quite stressed enough right now, without putting herself through any more. She’s been feeling too sick to eat properly for days now.’

  ‘I know. It’s tough all round, isn’t it?’

  ‘I persuaded Joannie to lie down for a while. She got really upset when Kev decided to plan the music for his funeral.’

  Luke groaned softly. ‘Oh, no!’

  ‘He’s been asking when you were coming. He’s got a list of CDs he wants to borrow. Said he can’t guarantee he’ll give them back, though.’

  Luke was still shaking his head, smiling, as he went through to the sunroom at the closed-in end of the villa’s long verandah. That was so like his mate, to be making jokes to try and lighten such a bleak atmosphere. Jodie had died in her husband’s arms when she’d succumbed to the vicious form of leukaemia she had contracted, and Kevin swore she had been still smiling at the last joke he’d told her.

  ‘Hey, Kev.’ Luke sat down on one of the chairs beside the bed that the palliative care department of Ocean View had provided. The electronic adjustments could be varied enough to provide comfort and the soft cushioning of the inflatable mattress cover and the sheepskins was a bonus. ‘What’s all this I hear about the concert you’re planning?’

  Eyes too large for a wasted face were fixed on Luke. ‘Is Mum still upset, then?’

  ‘I haven’t seen her. She’s asleep, I think. Anything I can get for you, buddy?’

  ‘Yeah. Your retro CD…that’s got Procul Harem… “Whiter Shade of Pale”?’ Kevin Winsome’s lung capacity was reduced enough now for him to need to catch his breath after
every few words. ‘Nice and ghostly…huh?’

  ‘It’s no wonder your mum’s upset, mate. You just can’t stop stirring, can you?’

  ‘I’ll stop soon enough.’ Kevin smiled slowly. ‘And then you’ll…be sorry.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Luke couldn’t keep up the banter. Maybe Maree was right. Kevin was too accepting of all this. ‘What I meant was, did you need a drink or some more jungle juice or something? How’s the pain?’

  Kevin’s hand movement was weak but still dismissive. ‘We’ve got better…things to talk…about. Can you…make a list…for me? Of songs?’

  What had Luke just said to Maree? That all they could do was to help in any way Kevin wanted them to? ‘Sure thing,’ he said softly. He pulled out the notepad and pencil that he always kept in his shirt pocket. ‘Fire away,’ he instructed Kevin. ‘What’s first?’

  ‘That soppy one that…Jodie chose for our…wedding song.’

  Luke’s gaze went to the most prominent photograph in the clutter of pictures lining the window-sill beside Kevin. His sister had been the happiest bride in the world, no question. Thank God none of them had known she would be diagnosed with a fatal illness within a year.

  Kevin had followed Luke’s line of vision. ‘Gorgeous, isn’t she?’

  Luke nodded, the lump in his throat precluding speech.

  ‘I could never…have found anyone…to take her place…you know.’

  ‘You two were soul mates, that’s for sure.’

  ‘Not many people…are that lucky.’ Kevin was tiring and had to catch his breath several times before he could speak again. Then he caught Luke’s gaze. ‘I’m not afraid…to die, mate…I’m kind of hoping…to see Jodie…again.’

  Luke’s mouth twisted. ‘You’ll have to say hi from me, then. I miss her.’

  ‘You have to find…your soul mate…otherwise I’ll come back…and haunt you.’

  ‘I’m being haunted already, thanks. You remember that theatre nurse I was planning to marry? Beth Dawson?’

  Kevin’s nod was painfully slow. ‘She’s the only one…who ever made you…think about getting…married.’

  ‘Well, she’s turned up here. Taken a job in the emergency department at Ocean View.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘That’s what I’d like to know.’

  ‘Is she…married now?’

  ‘I don’t know. She’s not wearing any rings but she might just take them off for work.’

  ‘Ask her.’

  ‘I can’t do that. Can’t ask anyone else either. You know what hospital gossip is like. She might think I was interested in her again.’

  ‘You are.’

  ‘No way. She dumped me, remember?’

  ‘You didn’t try very hard…to fix things, mate.’

  ‘I wasn’t going to beg her to take me back, if that’s what you mean. There were plenty of others who wanted to play. Anyway, it’s all water under the bridge and I don’t want to go swimming in that particular river again. Neither does she.’

  ‘How do you…know that?’

  ‘I met her in the corridor this afternoon and she gave me a look that would have curdled milk. The woman still loathes me.’

  ‘Flip the coin.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Hate’s just…the other side of…love, isn’t it?’

  ‘You’re getting a bit philosophical in your old age, aren’t you?’

  ‘May as well.’ Kevin was giving Luke a very intense look. ‘She still cares…You could find…a way to flip…the coin if…you wanted.’

  ‘Doubt it.’ Luke grinned. ‘Beth has her foot on that coin very firmly. I don’t think she has any intention of even speaking to me again.’

  ‘I have no intention of ever speaking to him again.’

  ‘You’ll have to at some point. You work in the same hospital.’

  ‘Maybe I won’t stay after all. I could learn to make cappuccinos, Neroli. Surely your sister could take on another waitress or something?’

  ‘You don’t want to do that.’

  ‘Why not? You’re having fun, aren’t you?’

  ‘I think the novelty’s starting to wear off.’A sigh echoed over the phone line. ‘I really miss nursing. I think I might have overreacted by chucking it in. I could have just made a change from the emergency department. I’d quite like to be a theatre nurse, actually.’

  ‘Good thinking. The patients are knocked out so they can’t give you any grief. And you never know your luck. You might even meet a hot surgeon!’

  They both laughed but then it was Beth’s turn to sigh. She was staring at her feet. ‘I’m wearing those rabbit slipper socks you gave me for Christmas last year.’ If she wiggled her toes the whiskers on the bright pink rabbit faces twitched and the ears that were attached near her ankles bent forward as though listening to something interesting. Beth smiled. ‘I really miss having you around, Neroli. I could use a best friend.’

  ‘Luke could be your best friend if you gave him a chance.’

  ‘Have you not heard a word I’ve said?’ Beth clicked her tongue sadly. ‘I shudder to think how much I’ve spent on this phone call already and now I have to tell you all over again. I’m curious about the man, not interested in him.’

  ‘Doesn’t sound like it from this side of the ditch, chick. I think you’re jea—’

  ‘Good grief!’ Beth interrupted. ‘What the hell was that?’

  ‘What is that?’ Neroli’s voice was very faint as Beth held the phone at arm’s length so she could see out the window. ‘Sounds like someone’s screaming. Beth? Beth? Are you all right?’

  ‘Got to go. Looks like someone’s come off their motorbike just outside.’ She didn’t wait to hear her friend’s farewell. She didn’t even stop long enough to change the fluffy slipper socks, but nobody seemed to notice as she arrived at the scene of the accident seconds later.

  ‘Beth!’ The woman from the dairy opposite the motel had learned her name within a week of her arrival. Beth had liked the friendly interest from the shopkeeper. ‘Thank goodness. You’re a nurse, aren’t you?’

  ‘Did you see what happened?’

  ‘He shot round that corner and just went straight into the lamppost. Is he dead?’

  ‘No.’ Beth could feel a good carotid pulse. The black helmet the youth was wearing seemed undamaged but his left leg was bleeding and one arm was bent at an unnatural angle. Right now, though, Beth was more concerned about his breathing. And his neck. ‘Has someone called for an ambulance?’

  ‘I did.’ The man was still holding the carton of milk he had obviously purchased in the dairy. ‘It’s on its way.’

  ‘And isn’t that Dr Savage?’

  ‘What?’ Beth lost count of both the respiratory and pulse rate she had been trying to take simultaneously.

  ‘What kind of name is that for a doctor?’ The man with the milk sounded incredulous.

  Beth almost smiled. Luke had said exactly the same thing once. ‘And I’m not savage,’ he’d added with a winning smile. Am I?’

  And Beth had assured him he was anything but. Determined, yes. Confident, certainly, but she hadn’t thought it tipped over into arrogance. Not then, anyway. Ruthless? Unlikely. But very definitely not savage. He was capable, in fact, of being the most gentle man Beth had ever known. She opened her mouth to say something in defence of Luke and his name but there was no need.

  ‘He’s a wonderful doctor,’ the woman from the dairy informed her customer stoutly. ‘He looked after my dad last year and you wouldn’t want anyone else after you’ve had Dr Savage, let me tell you. You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you, Beth?’

  The groan was fortunately contained in her head. Luke had slammed the door of the sleek black Jeep behind him and had clearly heard the final piece of that interchange. His startled glance at Beth set a confused whirl of thoughts into that spin-drier action again.

  You wouldn’t want anyone else after you’ve had Dr Savage.

  The comment stabbed at something astonis
hingly raw. Neroli had been about to tell her she was jealous of that blonde woman she had seen in Luke’s company. And it was true. She was jealous. And she had never found anyone she truly wanted after Luke. Imagine if she’d agreed with the woman from the dairy? Both she and Luke would know she wasn’t referring to any professional skills the man possessed, however wonderful they were.

  Again, thankfully, there was no need or opportunity for her to say anything. Luke’s glance had been even briefer than the painful flash of insight. He was now crouched beside the young man on the road.

  ‘Airway’s clear,’ Beth told him. ‘But I haven’t been able to assess his breathing properly with the way he’s lying.’ The crumpled figure was almost in a recovery position and while she could feel the movement of his chest and abdomen, it was hardly adequate for a proper assessment.

  ‘We’ve got enough people to do a log roll.’ Luke moved to hold the helmeted head. ‘I’ll look after his neck.’ He looked up at the bystanders. ‘You’re Mrs Coulter, aren’t you?’

  ‘Doris.’ The woman from the dairy beamed at the recognition.

  ‘I need you to help us, Doris. We’re going to turn this man over so he’s lying on his back but we need to be very careful with his neck. We’ll need you as well,’ he told the man with the milk. ‘Beth will show you where to put your hands.’

  It took only moments to achieve spinal alignment and the movement made the injured man groan.

  ‘It’s OK,’ Luke told him. ‘Try not to move, mate. You’ve had an accident. Can you open your eyes?’

  The groan was louder this time but there was no response to the command. Luke frowned, adjusting his hold on the man’s head. ‘Stay as still as you can,’ he instructed. ‘Beth, can you undo that jacket? OK, chest wall movement looks equal from here.’

  Beth nodded. ‘I can’t feel any rib fractures. Sternum feels stable and trachea looks midline.’

  ‘What’s happening with that leg? Looks like there’s some blood loss that needs controlling.’

  The wail of a siren was getting steadily closer as Beth removed the now bloodsoaked blanket Doris had helpfully fetched and then used to cover the lower half of the injured man.