He knew where he had gone so wrong. He knew that he was on the right track now. Somehow he had to let Beth know that.
The big stainless-steel meal trolley was filling the lift so Luke took the stairs to the medical ward on the second floor of Ocean View hospital two at a time.
Please…The word became a mantra. Please, let Beth be alone. If he was lucky enough, Brent would be finding some lunch of his own in the cafeteria by now. What time had they planned to leave?
When he entered the room with Beth’s name on the door and saw the empty bed, Luke felt the shock like a physical blow.
He was too late.
Beth had been spirited away back to Auckland and it would be much harder to find and talk to her now. Maybe she would just refuse to speak to him when he tried.
And he would deserve the reaction because he should have been more sure of himself. And of Beth. Kevin had been right. She was the one. Luke could feel the connection so strongly that Beth would surely believe him even if she wasn’t so sure herself, and any belief would give them the chance to try again and this time Luke knew they couldn’t possibly go wrong because he simply wouldn’t allow them to.
‘Hi, Luke.’ The soft voice came from the depths of the armchair positioned over by the windows.
‘Beth!’ Luke’s breath rushed out in a huge sigh of relief as his head jerked sideways. ‘Thank goodness! For a horrible moment there I thought you might have gone alread.’
‘Almost.’ Beth was dressed in a pair of jeans and a soft, comfortable-looking sweatshirt. ‘Brent’s gone to find a taxi and Mum’s dishing out all the flowers to the other patients. They’ll be back in a minute, I expect.’
‘Oh…’ Luke held Beth’s gaze and was suddenly tongue-tied. So she was intending to leave, then. There was too much to try and say and not nearly enough time. Beth’s eyes looked too big and dark for her pale face and she looked…miserable. Luke couldn’t interpret her expression. Did she now want him to be here?
‘How are you feeling?’
‘A lot better.’ Beth’s head dipped and Luke could see her blinking. Hard. As though she was struggling not to cry.
Luke stepped closer to the armchair, intending to crouch and get on the same level as Beth. It wouldn’t be so easy for her to avoid eye contact that way. And he would be close enough to touch her.
The movement was arrested halfway, however, by the glimpse that getting to the window afforded. A taxi was parked near Ocean View’s front door. Brent Granger was talking to the driver. He tapped his watch and then pointed up at the building, and Luke found himself stepping back.
Had Brent seen him?
Did it matter?
Hell, yes. It would be less than a couple of minutes before Brent swept into Beth’s room and tried to assume control. If he’d seen Luke, he would be able to halve that length of time.
‘Beth!’ Luke did drop to a crouch now and his tone was urgent. ‘I really need to talk to you.’
Her face was so much thinner and there were dark shadows under her eyes. She looked so tired. It would hardly be fair for him and Brent to stand in front of her, competing in any way for the right to take care of her.
But she was saying nothing. Just staring at him…waiting for him to say something else.
And there was too much to say and the clock was ticking mercilessly.
‘Do you want to go away with Brent?’
The question came out more abruptly than Luke had intended. Was that why Beth hesitated? Why the head was slow enough to give the impression of uncertainty? Luke deliberately softened his tone.
‘Would you like to talk, Beth?’
A nod this time, but the glance towards the door reminded Luke of how impossible a deeply personal discussion would become in a very short space of time.
‘Right.’ For the first time in far too long Luke suddenly felt in total control. Strong. Invincible even. He slipped an arm behind Beth and the other under her knees. ‘Hang on,’ he instructed.
She squeaked, but it didn’t sound as though Luke had hurt her by lifting her out of the armchair.
‘What are you doing, Luke?’
‘Taking you somewhere we can talk,’ Luke said grimly. ‘By ourselves.’
He smiled at the face so close to his own and Beth closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder.
‘Oh…’ she murmured. ‘That’s good.’
A startled group of nurses, including Roz from emergency, made way for his determined progress towards the exit once they reached the ground floor.
‘What’s happened?’ Roz gasped. ‘Is Beth all right?’
‘She will be,’ Luke called back over his shoulder. ‘I intend to make sure of that.’
He shoved the fire-stop doors open with his shoulder and managed to keep holding Beth as he opened the passenger door on the Jeep. Depositing her gently onto the seat, he did up her safety belt then frowned.
‘Are you OK? Nothing hurting?’
‘I’m fine. Where are we going?’
‘You’ll see.’ Luke smiled and then shut the door. After opening the driver’s door, he glanced back at the main hospital building. His gaze tracked upwards and he was not surprised to see faces staring down from what had been Beth’s window.
One of those faces was that of Brent Granger, and even from this distance Luke could sense his fury.
He raised his hand in a somewhat dismissive salute and found he was grinning as he flicked the key in the ignition and gunned the engine of his powerful vehicle.
This was it.
His chance.
And he was going to do whatever it might take to succeed.
The bumps in the shingle road that led down to Boulder Bay beach were enough to jar Beth’s healing abdominal incision, but the pain in no way burst the bubble of joy inside her.
She had come so close to giving up on Luke. Sitting in that armchair and waiting for Brent to come and take her to the waiting taxi, Beth had decided that Luke was not coming back. He wasn’t bothered by the fact that Brent had come back to try and lay claim to her future. Maybe he had even been relieved.
But he had come. And it hadn’t been just to say goodbye. Beth had watched his face as he’d looked at her empty bed. It had been so hard not to just dissolve into tears when she had seen the miraculous change of expression and heard that heartfelt sigh of relief when she had spoken. She still felt unbelievably weak and her own relief, on top of the misery that Luke’s continuing absence had fed, had been overwhelming.
So overwhelming it had been too much to try and take in. Until she had seen the hope that flared in Luke’s eyes. Her own response had been so powerful that Beth had actually wondered if a heart could break from such a sudden rush of so much love.
What was it that had held her back from saying something then? Something that would convince her that this time it would work? That she could offer all the love she still had for Luke—and more—and it wouldn’t end in heartbreak?
Of course she didn’t want to go away with Brent and of course she wanted to talk. But Beth had wanted to listen even more at that moment so she’d stayed silent, simply shaking and then nodding her head. Until the surprise of being scooped up into Luke’s arms.
She hadn’t cared where he was taking her. She hadn’t cared how long it would take. With her arms around Luke’s neck and her head in the comfortable dip just below his shoulder, Beth would have been perfectly happy to have been carried to the ends of the earth.
Mind you, Boulder Bay was the perfect end to what seemed like a very long journey. One that had taken six years, in fact.
‘Are you feeling all right?’ Luke was peering at Beth anxiously as he traced the outline of her cheekbone with a fingertip.
‘A bit tired,’ Beth admitted. She smiled. ‘Must be all the excitement of being abducted.’
‘Do you want to stay where you are?’ Luke turned to scan the beach. ‘We’ve got the place to ourselves if you’d like to sit on the sand somewhere.’
‘I’d love to feel the sun,’ Beth nodded. And to smell the sea. It feels like I’ve been shut away for rather a long time.’
Luke carried her again. He took off the soft leather jacket he was wearing and padded it to make a cushion against the smooth side of a boulder. Beth sank onto the warmth of the sand and sighed happily.
‘This is perfect.’
‘A bit different from the last time we were here.’ Luke’s smile was almost smug. ‘We’re all alone.’
He was giving her that look. The one that said she was the only thing of any importance in the universe as far as he was concerned. The one that meant he wanted to kiss her and would do so if she gave him the slightest indication that his touch would be welcome.
Beth’s mouth felt suddenly dry and her heart skipped a beat. She wasn’t ready. Not quite yet.
Beth looked around at the gentle waves washing onto pristine sand amongst smooth boulders. ‘What happened to the other whales? The ones that didn’t make it?’
‘They’ve been taken away. Buried.’ Luke knelt on the sand beside Beth and took hold of one of her hands. He caught Beth’s gaze and held it. His mouth opened then closed and then he cleared his throat. His smile was embarrassed.
‘I’ve got so much to say I don’t know where to start.’
‘Try the beginning,’ Beth suggested helpfully.
‘Do you want the long version or the short version?’
‘How short is the short version?’
‘Very short.’ Any hint of amusement died from Luke’s face and his features settled into lines serious enough to alarm Beth.
‘Three words, Beth,’ Luke said softly. ‘I love you.’
She could feel the words just as clearly as she could hear them. They enfolded her in warmth and the bubble of joy inside her was overfull. Little bits of that joy were leaking into Beth’s bloodstream and sending the most delicious tingles into every cell in her body.
‘I love you, too, Luke,’ she whispered.
His face moved closer, his lips on their way to claim hers, but Beth raised her hand and pressed her fingertips against the softness of those lips.
‘Now I want to hear the long version.’
Luke groaned softly.
‘Please?’
Beth could see Luke collect himself and had to hide a smile of secret joy that it was clearly so difficult to rein in the desire to kiss her. She wanted that kiss just as much as he did but she knew that it would be worth waiting for. That it would be even better when she knew the answers to those questions that had provided such a puzzle. Luke nodded slowly, as though he understood and agreed. He didn’t let go of Beth’s hand but he sat back to lean on the boulder beside her and he trapped that hand between both of his own. Then he sighed softly.
‘I was at a funeral this morning, Beth.’
‘Oh…that’s awful!’ How selfish had she been—deciding that if Luke cared about her he would have been there at the hospital with her? Beth searched Luke’s face anxiously. ‘Was it someone close?’
Luke nodded solemnly. ‘As close as it’s possible to get.’
Beth could feel her eyes widening. A woman? But Luke’s smile was reassuring.
‘Without sex, of course.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘Kev was my best mate. We grew up together. He and my twin sister, Jodie, fell in love at high school and they got married a year later after I left Auckland. When I was living in Wellington after…after…’
After his relationship with her had ended. Beth returned the hand squeeze and nodded to encourage Luke to continue and not get sidetracked by ground they didn’t need to revisit.
‘They were so in love,’ Luke said wistfully. ‘And they had so much to look forward to. They spent three months backpacking in Europe for a honeymoon and then Jodie got a job at Ocean View as a physiotherapist and Kev’s electronic business started taking off. They were talking about trying for a baby just before their first anniversary and then…Jodie got sick.’
Luke closed his eyes for a second and when he spoke again it seemed that his professional tone was a deliberate attempt to keep still raw emotions in check.
‘It was leukaemia. Acute myeloid. For a long time we thought we could beat it. I was a near perfect match as a donor, thanks to being a twin, I guess, so I had bone marrow harvested twice. I would have done it again. Hell, I would have donated any part of my body that might have done the trick, but we didn’t get the chance to try again. She died four years ago when she was only thirty-two years old.’
‘Oh…Luke!’ Beth ignored the tears she could feel trickling down her cheeks. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Yeah.’ Luke’s attempt at a smile was heart-wrenching. ‘I know. Anyway, I spent as much time as I could with her over that year she was sick. My job suffered with all the time I took off, but it didn’t seem to matter. I just didn’t really care any more. About anything. It felt like the bottom had dropped out of my world. My parents and Kev were just as devastated, of course, so I kept coming back to spend time with them. We helped each other get through it and about six months later I realised I didn’t want to be anywhere else. I took only as much time as I needed to complete my training as a general surgeon and then I moved to Hereford and bought this place.’
‘I wish I could have been here to help.’
‘It’s just as well you weren’t.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Because if I’d had you to lean on, I would have found it so much easier to cope. I would have built a bridge of some kind and just kept going the same way I had been. You were right, you know. About why you doubted our future together. I would have ended up like your father,’ Luke confessed. ‘I was on the same track back then, wasn’t I? And I never saw it. When Jodie died I learned something. Something I suspect you knew all along.’ His smile was gentle enough to bring fresh tears to Beth’s eyes.
‘What was that?”
‘It doesn’t matter how much money or prestige or power you get in life,’ Luke said quietly. ‘None of it matters a damn when you’re dying. The only thing that counts then is being with the people you love. The people that love you.’
Luke’s gaze told Beth that she was the person he loved. His smile was another caress.
‘They say life is for living, don’t they? But I reckon they’re wrong. Life is for loving. And the more you give, the more you get back.’
Beth could only nod. No words could have made it past that lump in her throat.
‘Sometimes,’ Luke continued, ‘if you’re lucky, you find a love that’s so powerful it outshines any other. Kev found that kind of love with Jodie.’ Luke’s voice caught and thickened. ‘He told me he wasn’t afraid to die, Beth. And I can understand that now.’
‘You can? But he was so young! It’s tragic.’
Luke nodded slowly. Then he took his hands away from Beth’s so that he could cradle her face.
‘A love like that is so strong that even dying isn’t something to be afraid of. It’s living without that person that causes the fear.’ A tiny tremor was transmitted from the hands holding Beth’s face. ‘And that, Elizabeth Dawson, is the kind of love I have for you.’ Luke’s thumbs moved to brush the last traces of tears from Beth’s cheeks and then follow the outline of her lips. ‘I’m afraid to live without you.’
‘I’m not going anywhere, Luke,’ Beth whispered. ‘I feel exactly the same way about you.’
‘You don’t have to say that.’ Luke drew Beth into his arms and held her so close she could feel every beat of his heart. He kissed her softly. ‘You’re still nowhere near well. You’re vulnerable right now. I just had to make sure you knew how I felt before you went away anywhere.’
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ Beth repeated. ‘And I might be a bit wobbly but that doesn’t change how I feel, Luke. I knew the first day I saw you again that I could never leave. That…that I still loved you.’
Luke kissed her again. ‘How did you know that?’
‘You told me
I was brilliant.’ The memory of that spark and her attempts to talk herself out of giving it any significance made Beth smile. ‘I realised that what you thought was more important than anything anyone else could ever think.’
‘What about…?’ Luke’s hesitation was palpable. ‘Brent?’
‘I don’t love Brent. he knows that. Yes, I dated him for a while. And I was very lonely after Neroli had gone to Australia. I was down enough to start thinking I would never find what I really wanted in life and I might miss out completely if I couldn’t compromise in some way. It wasn’t until Brent talked me into accepting his proposal that I realised that what had attracted me to him were only the things that reminded me of you. It would have been dishonest to let it go any further and I told him that.’ Beth shook her head. ‘I only wore that ring for a week and then I gave it back to him and explained why we could never be married. I haven’t even spoken to him since.’
‘He’s not going to be happy.’
‘I wasn’t going back to Auckland because he wanted me to,’ Beth assured Luke. ‘I knew I wasn’t going to be much use for anything around here for a while and it would be nice to spend some time with my Mum.’
‘I’ve got a mum,’ Luke said proudly. ‘She’s very good at looking after things. Gardens, people…whales. You name it.’
‘I couldn’t land myself on your mum. Especially right now. Maybe I could just stay in hospital for another day or two.’
‘And then go back to that motel? I don’t think so.’ Luke kissed Beth again, rather firmly this time. ‘I’ll take you back to both those places very soon. We’ll stop at Kev’s house on the way so I can tell Mum what’s happening.’
Beth turned her face up so that she could receive another kiss. ‘What is happening?’
‘A new beginning.’ Luke smiled. ‘You were right about something else, you know.’
‘What?’
‘You’re not going anywhere. After you’ve had a chat to Brent and we collect all your things from the hospital and the motel, you’re coming home with me. I’m going to be the one looking after you from now on.’ The anxious look that followed such a firm declaration was almost comical. ‘That is, if that’s what you want, hon.’
The Surgeon's Engagement Wish Page 15
