Close to Perfect

by Tina Donahue

  “I’ll have us there as fast as I can.” He took a prolonged look at the night vision screen. “Once we’re at my place, I’ll put you to bed.” He turned back to her and grinned. “My bed. I’m moving your stuff into my room first thing in the morning.” He returned his attention to the instruments.

  Tess looked at them, then the side of his face as her heart started to pound.

  Had he just asked her to move in with him?

  She thought back and decided that he had not. He had simply stated that he was moving her stuff into his bedroom.

  For how long? And to what end, other than sex, of course?

  Josh started to whistle as he looked outside at the sea.

  Tess wasn’t certain she’d ever whistle again. As depressed as she had been just a few seconds ago, now she was as pissed. Did he just assume she was going to be his bodyguard or pretend public girlfriend forever, or, at least, until he got tired of it? Did he think he could play at this relationship when what she wanted was something more than just being his live-in lover?

  Given the way he was now whistling up a storm, probably so.

  After tonight he probably figured he could pretty much have whatever he wanted. Of course, she had enjoyed this night with him and had slept with him because she loved him and because she knew she wouldn’t be seeing him again, not because she was looking for some fast fun.

  So what would happen if she didn’t give him that fun? There were dozens, maybe hundreds, of other women who would jump at a chance to move in with him.

  Tess knew they were nuts or didn’t know what love was. She did and no way could she open her heart and allow herself to be vulnerable, then have it all come crashing down when Josh met someone else, someone he would truly adore and commit to. That would kill her.

  Tess wanted what her parents had shared. The security that on each and every day of their marriage there would be a commitment. No matter how bad things got, no matter how bored they got, they would stick it out.

  Josh didn’t have to do that. He had enough money and success to keep the good times rolling with as many lovers as he wanted only she wasn’t going to be one of them. “No.”

  He stopped whistling and looked at her. “What?”

  “I can’t. I won’t.”

  He seemed confused. “Can’t what? Won’t what?”

  “Move into your bedroom.”

  Josh looked stunned, then quickly grinned. “Will you quit playing with me? Come on, I’m excited about this.” He wiggled his brows. “And you will be, too, when you see my bedroom.”

  Tess wondered if he was listening to what was coming out of his mouth. My bedroom? Not ours, but my? “Where I’ll formally begin living with you?”

  His smile faded. “I don’t know if I’d use the term formally. But yeah, what else?”

  A commitment would have been nice. Being told he loved her, in addition to wanting to sleep with her, would have been pretty damned great. The possibility of marriage somewhere on the horizon would have been a joy. But no. Her place was in his room, in his bed, in his house, in his world, on his planet until he decided otherwise.

  “My father could think of a lot of what else’s.”

  Josh stared, then shook his head as if he didn’t believe she had said that. “I’m certain he could, but you’re a grown woman, Tess.”

  “And because of that, you think I should make up my own mind.”

  He started to smile, but didn’t, as if he thought better of it. “Of course.”

  “Then, my mind’s made up. I’m not going to be your live-in girlfriend, Josh. And I’m not going to be your pretend girlfriend in public anymore, either.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  He seemed thoroughly confused. He turned back to the night vision screen and the rest of the instruments, then looked over his shoulder at her. “You’re saying you didn’t have a good time tonight?” He shook his head. “You can’t tell me that. I wouldn’t believe that.”

  Tess pressed her fingers to her forehead and forced her voice to remain far calmer than she felt. “Josh, tonight has nothing to do with my not moving in with you.”

  “You’ve already moved in with—”

  “I’m leaving tonight.”

  “What?”

  Despite his surprise, Tess remained calm. This was no different than her days on the force when everything was falling apart around her, people were screaming, sirens were blaring, and she had to keep a cool head. As tears stung the corners of her eyes, Tess told herself to remember that, because as pissed as she still was, she also felt like she was going to die. “I’m already packed.”

  “What? When in the hell did you—”

  “Last night. My bags are in the closet, ready to go.”

  “Go where?”

  “My apartment!” she shouted right back, then lowered her voice. “My home. Our contract is over.”

  “Since when? Look,” he said, interrupting her, “if you don’t want to move into my room, fine. Keep your room. I don’t care. Take the whole upstairs if you like. If you need your space—”

  “Josh, this isn’t about space. You don’t need me to be your bodyguard anymore. You haven’t needed that for days, not since that football guy got blindsided by the tabloid.”

  “Is that what this is about, what Alan said?” Josh shook his head and smiled. “Tess, he doesn’t run the show, I do, and—”

  “The contract is over when the problem stops,” she said, her voice firm. “That was clearly spelled out in it. No,” she said, speaking above him. “I have a new job starting the day after tomorrow.”

  Josh stared at her, then quickly looked out the front window as the boat approached the dock. “A new job as what?”

  Was he serious? “A bodyguard. What else?”

  “Uh-uh. No way,” he said, looking at her. “I don’t want you doing that anymore, Tess. It’s too damned dangerous. You’re too damned reckless.”

  “Are you kidding?” Her voice was incredulous. “You think you can tell me where I can work and what I can do?”

  “Of course not.” He seemed to finally realize what he had said and continued to backpedal. “That’s not what I meant. I would never tell you what to do. I’m simply asking you not to be a bodyguard anymore. Please.”

  Tess’s eyes filled with tears. Please? Why did he have to say that? Why did he have to look so damned hurt and worried? Why couldn’t he have at least said that he loved her? “I like being a bodyguard, Josh. My father needs me to be—”

  “No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t like this any more than me. He wanted you to be a dancer.”

  “And I wanted you to respect my work. Looks like nobody’s going to get what they want.”

  “Aw, Tess.” He turned back to the instruments and finished docking the boat as he talked. “I do respect your work. I’m amazed by what you can do and what you have done as a cop. All I’m saying is, you don’t have to risk your safety anymore, not if you’re with me.”

  “In your bedroom.”

  He looked at her. “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t have to. I can connect the dots, Josh. And even if I were to agree to such a thing, what makes you think I could continue to live with you while I’m taking new jobs? Maybe I’d have to live with my new clients, like that football guy or another guy who—”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa. You’d actually take a job like that?”

  “I took yours.”

  He finally frowned and sounded pissed. “You weren’t involved with anyone when you took on this job. I know. I asked.”

  “Sleeping together one night is not being involved.”

  He couldn’t have looked more stunned.

  “Good-bye, Josh.”

  Good-bye? What the hell had just happened here? “What are you doing—Tess, don’t touch—”

  She already had, activating the gangway so she could leave.

  “Wait!” he shouted.

  Tess was alread
y out the door, her shoes in one hand, her purse and his car keys in the other.

  “Hell.” Josh so quickly moved out of his chair, he rammed his knee into the panel. When he got to the door, he pulled it into his foot. By the time he limped to the deck, she was already leaving the gangway. “Tess!”

  She hurried down the dock.

  He shouted, “Dammit, Tess, I love you!”

  That stopped her.

  Thank God. At last, he’d said something right. “Tess, please!” Josh shouted as he limped down the gangway and onto the dock where he finally stopped. “I love you!”

  She turned and looked at him. Her mouth was trembling as if she was about to cry.

  Josh hadn’t a clue what was going on here. Was she about to cry because she was happy he loved her or because she didn’t feel the same way about him? Didn’t matter. He couldn’t let her go. “Tess, please, come on back,” he said, gesturing with his arm. “We can talk. We’ll go to my place.”

  Her expression changed. Just like that the tears were quickly replaced by anger. “Your place?”

  What the fuck had he said this time? “Yeah.”

  “Why not your yacht or your island or your car or your—”

  “Tess, I love you!” he repeated. “Don’t you want that?”

  “You love me?”

  “Yes!”

  There was sudden applause from the side.

  Josh followed that noise to two young guys who were seated on the dock with their feet dangling over the edge and a six-pack between them.

  “Get lost,” Tess ordered, “this is a private conversation.”

  “Dock’s public,” the heavier guy said, then guzzled his beer.

  “You heard her,” Josh growled. “Get lost. If you don’t,” he said, interrupting the thinner guy, “she’ll arrest you. She’s a cop.”

  “Ex-cop,” Tess corrected, frowning at Josh. “I’m a bodyguard now.”

  The heavy guy belched. “You’re a bodyguard? Damn.”

  “God bless America,” the other guy said, and saluted her with his beer.

  Tess turned and continued down the dock.

  Josh limped after her. “Tess, don’t go, please! I love you!”

  “You say that now!” she shouted as she turned to face him. “You say that in the heat of this moment, but only to keep me from leaving!”

  Huh? He stopped. “What are you talking about?”

  “What love means to you, Josh. You really should think about that. Love isn’t telling someone what to do or putting them into one part of your life as if they’re something you purchased like your boat or your island or your car or your estate. Something that can be tossed aside when you get bored with it.”

  “Now you’re doubting my sincerity?”

  “I wonder about your level of commitment when you’re used to getting your way.”

  Used to getting his way? Was she kidding? “You think because of what I have I always get my way?”

  “I think you’ve become used to the concept. Money gives you a right to expect a lot.”

  “Apparently not from you.”

  She cried, “I don’t care about your money, Josh! I’ve never cared about it! I will never care about it! It can’t give me what I need from a man! The kind of love I want and deserve!”

  “Haven’t I been telling you—no, don’t go!” he shouted as she ran to his car. “Tess! Wait!”

  She did not. She got inside his car and drove away, leaving him at the dock.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Forty minutes later Josh was in the passenger seat of Alan’s car with his cell to his ear listening to the phone in his Mercedes just ring and ring.

  Any other woman would have answered by now to hear what he had to say and to possibly apologize for ditching him; or to at least hang up. Not Tess. Josh had been calling since she left and not once had she picked up.

  She was either the most stubborn woman he’d ever known or she thought all the calls were from someone trying to reach him on business.

  Sure. Still, that gave him some hope. Josh tried his house again. “Come on,” he complained after the twentieth ring. “You’re probably there by now. You drive like a maniac. You have to at least suspect that all calls aren’t business-related. Pick up.” She did not. Josh called her cell again, but it was still turned off.

  “Who’re you trying to reach?” Alan finally asked.

  “Can’t you drive any faster?” Josh asked.

  “Not on a two-lane road with cars in front of me.”

  “Just pass them.”

  “There’s oncoming traffic, Josh.”

  That was the least of his worries. His cell just went dead. Shit. “Give me your cell,” he said to Alan.

  “I didn’t bring it.”

  “Why not?”

  “Well, excuse me,” the attorney finally said, “but I wasn’t expecting you to wake me from a sound sleep to pick you up at a marina when you should be at home, and you apparently got to this marina without a car, and apparently no cabs were available to pick you up, and apparently even Tess wasn’t available to pick you—”

  “She’s got my car.”

  “So why didn’t you call her to pick you—”

  “Because she left me at the marina when she took my car, isn’t that obvious?”

  Alan flicked his gaze at Josh’s wrinkled shirt and trousers. “What’s wrong with your foot?”

  He stopped rubbing his bruised toe. “Nothing.”

  Alan’s brows lifted as his gaze noted that Josh was wearing only one shoe.

  “You can pass now.” Josh pointed.

  Alan looked, but didn’t pass. “You know, you could just call the security company to have them check to see if Tess got to your place yet.”

  “I’m not calling her father, Alan.”

  “Does he answer his own phones at this hour?”

  “As soon as his help hears Tess’s name, you can bet they’ll call him. And I don’t want him sending Bonnie and Clyde out to my place to shoot me.”

  “What did you do?”

  “What did I do? I told her I love her, that’s what I did.”

  “No kidding? And she left you stranded at the marina? I thought she liked you.”

  She had while she was cuffing him to the yacht and when he had mounted her repeatedly on the beach. “Everything was going great until I said that we should live together.”

  “You’re already living to—”

  “You know what I mean.” Josh sighed. “After that, I don’t know what the hell happened. I finally told her I love her, but did she listen?”

  Alan didn’t comment. When Josh looked, the attorney’s brows were arched. “What?”

  “You told her you loved her after you asked her to live with you?”

  “It’s not like I planned it that way. She was tired and I told her I’d put her to bed when we got back to the estate, and it seemed like the perfect time to mention moving her stuff into my room.”

  Those brows didn’t lower.

  “What?” Josh asked.

  Alan finally passed a slow-moving vehicle. “You didn’t even ask her to move into your room, you just assumed she—”

  “I thought she wanted that, Alan. It didn’t occur to me to formally propose the matter to her.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  The attorney looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know too many women who’d be thrilled about shacking up with a guy who’s got a whole slew of other women after him without any hint of what might happen in their own future.”

  “I should have spelled out our future? Alan, she wouldn’t let me get past the part about moving her stuff to my room. After that she told me she’s through as my bodyguard, because she’s already got another job. I asked her not to do that. I tried my level best to explain that it’s too dangerous of an occupation, and that if she and I were together, as a couple, she wouldn’t need to do it anymore.”

 
; Those brows were shooting up again.

  “Alan, her dad doesn’t want her to be a bodyguard, either. I’m not the only one.”

  “She’s a grown woman, Josh. She can do whatever she wants.”

  “Okay, let me ask you something. If you were in my shoes and Tess insisted on being a bodyguard and putting herself at risk, what would you do?”

  Alan didn’t even hesitate. “Become a bodyguard so I could go on jobs with her to protect her, and so she couldn’t hurt me when she got pissed about that.”

  “See!” Josh said, pointing his finger at the man. “She’d drive you crazy with worry, too!”

  “Isn’t that a big part of love?”

  “Have you ever loved a woman who carried concealed weapons in the back of her boxers and handcuffs in her garter?”

  Alan looked from the traffic to Josh. “She carries handcuffs in a garter?” He grinned. “That sounds so cool.”

  He had no idea. “She could get hurt; that’s all I was trying to tell her. But did she thank me for my concern? Did she even try to see my point of view? Oh, no. She as much as accused me of trying to run her life and everyone else’s because I have a little dough.”

  “A little?”

  “The point is she kept shouting at me that she didn’t want my money, she would never want my money, and that the only reason I get my way all the time, which is a huge joke by the way, is because of what I have. Like money has changed me or something.”

  “Well, of course it has.”

  Josh looked at him. “What?”

  He passed another slow-moving vehicle. “Nothing.”

  “Alan.”

  “I don’t want to be critical.”

  “You should have thought of that before you told me I did everything wrong tonight.”

  “Not everything. Okay, okay,” he said when Josh swore. “You didn’t call a cab tonight, did you? You just expected that when you called me I’d pick you up.”

  “You could have said no.”

  “I did. Three times. But you kept interrupting saying that you needed to get back, and that your toe hurt, and that you had taken dancing lessons and still it all went to hell.” He shrugged. “At that point I finally gave in. I figured this trip was worth it to hear about those lessons.”