Black and White and Dead All Over: A Midlife Crisis Mystery (Midlife Crisis Mysteries)

by Marlo Hollinger

  “Barely,” he replied.

  Oh, boy. Fritz might die and if he did so would whatever knowledge he was about to share with me over who’d killed Kate Weston. Slowly I picked up my purse and headed for the cashier to pay our bill. As I moved I looked around the restaurant for Bernard Morton but he was nowhere to be found. Fritz’s boss had vanished but I didn’t know if Bernard had left before or after Fritz’s attack and I had no clue whatsoever what had caused it.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “I guess it was a heart attack,” I told Steve later that night when we were in bed. I shivered and cuddled up next to him. Seeing Fritz choke or have a stroke or a heart attack or whatever had happened to him had been horrible and a whole lot ickier and more graphic than anything I’d ever seen on any CSI show. If I shut my eyes I still saw his purple face so I kept them open. I might have to learn how to sleep with my eyes open.

  “He just up and had a heart attack?” Steve asked.

  “It happens,” I said as I tried to snuggle even closer to my husband. He felt warm and alive, two things I desperately needed at that moment.

  “Not usually in the middle of a conversation. There were no warning signs? He didn’t complain of chest pain or that his arm hurt or seemed agitated?”

  “Well, of course he was agitated and then we saw Bernard Morton at the restaurant and that only made Fritz more upset.”

  When Steve didn’t answer me, I pulled back so that I could look up at my husband’s face. He was wearing a serious expression that I usually saw around Christmastime when he told me to cut back on charging presents for the kids. “Steve?” I persisted. “What is it?”

  “Let’s go over the facts,” Steve said. “Fritz tells you he knows something about Kate’s death. He asks to meet you to discuss it. At the restaurant he tells you that he knows something about Kate’s death but before he can tell you anything else he suddenly starts to choke, passes out and is rushed to the hospital. Doesn’t that seem highly coincidental to you?”

  “Well, not highly coincidental but a little convenient, yes.” Sinking back into Steve’s arms, I thought hard. It was a shame that Fritz had started to choke before he told me who he thought might have killed Kate but I wouldn’t say it was anything other than really bad timing on his part. After all, even if he had been poisoned, whoever poisoned him couldn’t have known that he’d drop dead right after he’d given me a tiny little bit of information about Kate’s murder, so tiny that it really barely helped me at all. So they’d been business partners. So what?

  “What did Fritz eat at the restaurant?”

  “Let me think…two slices of pecan pie and about seven cups of coffee.”

  “Black?”

  “No, with cream and sugar. Four sugars in each.”

  “My gosh, it’s amazing he didn’t fall into a diabetic coma at some point!”

  “I know. I was pretty amazed just watching him consume all that sugar and fat. He’s skinny though—although he does have a bit of a pot. See? ‘Fat Off’ does work.”

  “That doesn’t mean it’s safe. Did you take any more of it?”

  “Just a tiny sniff.”

  “DeeDee!”

  “I had to, Steve, for my article. Fritz has been using it for a couple of years and he’s fine.” I stopped talking and began thinking. Hard. Why would Kate dump Fritz as a business partner when he was on the verge of getting what was going to be a blockbuster product onto the shelves? Had Kate gone into business with Bernard Morton? Were Kate and Bernard trying to gaslight Fritz or completely cheat him out of any profits from his own invention? If that were true, I didn’t blame Fritz for hating Bernard. Or Kate for that matter.

  “I can hear the wheels spinning inside your head, DeeDee,” Steve remarked. “It sounds like a hamster wheel going ninety miles an hour.”

  “I was just thinking about what I have to do,” I said.

  “And what would that be?”

  “Well, I really don’t know but I’d like to talk to Fritz again to find out more about his connection to Kate. So they were business partners. How could that have anything to do with her death?”

  “Maybe you should talk to the police.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because of ‘Fat Off’! Jane would kill me if I told the police about her company’s new product. It would be much better if I did a little sleuthing on my own.”

  “No, it would not,” Steve said firmly. “A little sleuthing on your own could lead to a whole lot of trouble. For you, mainly.”

  I didn’t respond immediately because in my heart of hearts, I knew Steve was right. However, I didn’t want him to be right. I wanted to do my own private investigating because, well, because I am a nosy woman and it would have been very rewarding to figure out who the murderer was and then go to the police. But it wasn’t meant to be and I knew it. “I won’t do anything dangerous,” I said. “I promise.”

  “I’m going to hold you to that, DeeDee. Man, I can hardly keep my eyes open. Good night, honey.”

  “Night,” I replied. Steve rolled over and within a minute or two I could hear him softly snoring. I wasn’t that lucky. For at least two hours, I lay on my back, staring up in the dark at the ceiling, trying to figure out the connection between Fritz, Kate and ‘Fat Off’ and who could have killed Kate and possibly poisoned Fritz so that he started choking. Finally, sleep took over around one in the morning, but I tossed and turned all night long as my brain processed the mystery that I found myself thrust into.

  I woke up stiff, still tired and not very rested. I was on my third cup of coffee when Tyler surprised me by joining me at the breakfast table. “Wow, you look terrible,” he told me with the candor that children always use with their mothers.

  “I don’t feel all that wonderful either,” I told him. “I didn’t sleep very well last night.”

  Tyler poured himself a bowl of cereal that would have been the right serving size for Paul Bunyan. “Thinking about that guy who passed out in the restaurant last night? Jane heard about it too. She texted me around three in the morning wanting to know what happened.”

  Oh, my. Jane. I’d totally forgotten to tell our daughter about Fritz. “How did she hear about it?”

  “Everyone at Kutrate Kemicals knows that Fritz dude is in a coma. Jane heard it from the big boss.”

  “Fritz is in a coma?”

  Tyler nodded. “I guess the boss sent a text out to the whole company.”

  “Is Jane upset?”

  “Naturally but she was more upset when she found out you were with him last night. Sounds to me like she’s got a thing for him.”

  “How did she find that out? Surely that wasn’t in the text message.”

  “Well, I told her,” Tyler admitted. “I didn’t think it was a secret.”

  “How did you know?”

  “Dad told me when I got home last night and asked where you were. No offense, Mom, but you don’t go out much by yourself so it seemed kind of odd.”

  “I would have told her myself if I hadn’t been so upset last night. Why didn’t Jane text me?”

  “She knows you and Dad go to bed early. She didn’t want to bother you.”

  “I’ll call her,” I said, getting to my feet so I could go and find my phone.

  “Not necessary,” Tyler informed me. “She’s coming over here before she goes to work. She should be here any second now.”

  As if on cue, Jane’s silver Prius pulled into the driveway. I watched as she parked behind my car and then walked swiftly to the back door. “I think I’ll finish my breakfast in my room,” Tyler said. “I’m not really in the mood to hear Jane grill you over my Cap’n Crunch.”

  “She’s not going to grill me,” I said with a laugh.

  Tyler shot me a wry smile. “You may be her mother but you don’t always know her that well. Good luck, Mom.”

  Tyler was barely out of the room before Jane opened the kitchen door. “Mom!” she rush
ed across the room and hugged me. “What happened? Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine. Get yourself a cup of coffee and I’ll tell you everything.” I held out my mug, the one with BEST MOM IN THE WORLD written on its side. “Hit me again while you’re at it.”

  Jane got our coffee and then sat down in the chair Tyler had just vacated. Steve had left for work already so I knew we wouldn’t be interrupted. Seeing the determined look on my daughter’s pretty face, I realized that Tyler was right: I was in for some pretty heavy duty grilling. Not that I could really blame Jane. She had worked with Fritz and I had been with him when he had his attack or choked or whatever had happened to him. Of course she was curious. “Now what happened?” Jane asked after we had our cups of coffee in front of us.

  “Fritz called me and said he wanted to talk. We decided to meet at the Coffee Hut.”

  “What did he want to talk about?” Jane asked.

  “At first I assumed ‘Fat Off’ but then he said that he had information about Kate Weston and who murdered her.”

  Jane frowned. “Who’s Kate Weston?”

  “My editor at the newspaper. She was killed a few days ago. Someone strangled her and then taped a plumber’s helper over her nose and mouth.”

  “Eeew,” Jane said, making a face. “When did that happen?”

  “Tuesday. You were at your convention so I didn’t tell you about it. It’s not like there was anything you could do about it. When did you get home anyway?”

  “Yesterday. My gosh, how awful for you, Mom! But how would Fritz know anything about who killed your editor?”

  “That’s what I wanted to know. Fritz was quite angry over Bernard Morton and how he was handling the whole ‘Fat Off’ situation. Then who should walk in but Bernard Morton himself! He came over and said hello.”

  Jane blinked. “Bernard Morton was at the Coffee Hut?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s odd,” Jane muttered.

  “Why is that odd?”

  “Well, for starters Bernard hates coffee but even if he was the biggest caffeine addict in town I just can’t picture him at the Coffee Hut. He’s something of a snob and that dive is beneath him.”

  “It’s a cute place,” I said, “and the coffee is great.”

  “Believe me, it’s not the type of place where Bernard would normally go. Okay, go on—Bernard saw you two sitting there and said hello. Then what happened?”

  “He left and Fritz was upset. He said how Bernard was ruining ‘Fat Off.’ He calmed down a little and told me that he and Kate had been business partners until six months ago when he suddenly turned purple and began choking or having a heart attack or whatever it was. Do you know?”

  Jane shook her head. “The doctors don’t think it was a heart attack or a stroke and he didn’t appear to be choking on anything.”

  “Then what happened to him?”

  “I don’t know.” Jane leaned back in her chair. “Wow. This is absolutely surreal. I saw Fritz right before I left for Vegas and he was fine! He was super healthy. He was into stair climbing, working out, taking care of himself––”

  “He ate two large pieces of pecan pie and had seven cups of coffee with cream and sugar,” I informed her. “Not exactly health food.”

  “But he also had ‘Fat Off,’” Jane reminded me. “He can eat anything he wants because he knew that it wasn’t going to stay on him.”

  “Maybe it was a side effect of ‘Fat Off,’” I said. That did it. I wasn’t smelling any more of Fritz’s wonder product.

  “I don’t think so. ‘Fat Off’ has been through a lot of tests already and there have been no side effects.”

  That was good news. “Did you know that Fritz and Kate Weston were business partners?”

  “Mom, I’d never heard of Kate Weston before. Why would Fritz need or want a business partner?”

  “Maybe they were going to start their own company once Fritz got the patent for ‘Fat Off’ back.”

  “Like that’s ever going to happen. Fritz is going to have to accept sooner or later that he might be able to get a percentage deal, but Kutrate Kemicals is never going to give him the patent back.” Jane frowned.

  “It must have something to do with the Kemper Times. That has to be the connection. Kate must have been planning on doing a story on ‘Fat Off’ and was killed to shut her up.”

  Jane looked doubtful. “Do you really think the Kemper Times was going to do a story on Kutrate Kemicals? You know they never touch anything even remotely controversial. The most touchy subject they’ve ever covered is what color to paint the outdoor bathrooms at the county parks.”

  Jane sadly had a point. My new place of employment wasn’t known for hard-hitting news stories. “What other connection could there be?”

  “I don’t know but if your boss was killed to keep her quiet, then the murderer had to be someone from Kutrate. Who else would go that far?” Jane drained her coffee cup. “You’ll have to figure that one out, Mom. I should be going. I’ll let you know if I hear anything else about Fritz.”

  I walked Jane to the back door and watched as she got into her car and backed down the driveway. Jane was taking the news of Fritz’s accident like a trooper although I detected a lot more emotion under the surface than she was allowing herself to show. She liked Fritz and I didn’t blame her. He was handsome, smart and seemed like a nice guy when he wasn’t boiling mad over the whole ‘Fat Off’ debacle. Maybe if he pulled out of his coma, calmed down and acted reasonable the two of them might have a future together. I hoped so because I was really looking forward to a grandchild or two.

  After Jane left, I finished my coffee. I needed to get going too since it was undoubtedly going to be a busy day at the newspaper. But my mind lingered on Fritz and Kate. How had those two ever gotten together in the first place?

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Why were you with that Fritz guy last night?” Bob Meredith asked me before I had my jacket off. Bob had jumped up from his cubicle the second I walked into the newsroom and come over to where I was standing like an extremely aggressive kiosk worker at the mall. I half expected him to grab one of my hands and start buffing my nails.

  “I beg your pardon?” I asked, stalling for time. How had Bob Meredith found out that I was with Fritz?

  “I said, why were you with that Fritz guy last night? You bopping him?”

  “What?”

  “You heard me. You fooling around with him?”

  Bob was the absolute limit and while I knew that there was no reason on earth for me to answer him, I did anyway. The manners my parents drummed into me as a child have been a handicap ever since. “No, I’m not fooling around with him! I’m married!”

  “So?”

  “So I don’t bop or fool around with anyone but my husband!”

  Bob smirked. “You look like a nice housewife type but you never know, DeeDee. So if you weren’t bopping him, what were you doing with him?”

  To my relief, Ren stood up. “Bob, shut your sewer before someone does it for you.”

  Bob stared at him, his jaw hanging open. “Huh?”

  “Go away,” Ren said. “DeeDee doesn’t have to answer your vulgar questions.”

  Bob looked offended. “I was only asking,” he said huffily. “That’s my job, remember? It’s your job, too, Ren.” With that, he stalked off toward his own cubicle.

  “Excuse Bob,” Ren said in his soft voice. “He doesn’t know how he comes off most of the time but that doesn’t make him any easier to take.”

  “Thank you for getting rid of him,” I said. “I suppose I’ll learn how to do that in time.”

  “You will,” Ren agreed. “It gets easier and believe it or not, his bark is worse than his bite.”

  I sat down at my cubicle and looked up at Ren. “So I suppose the whole newsroom knows I was with Fritz Scheider when he collapsed?”

  Ren nodded. “Pretty much. It was on the news this morning.”

  “You’re kidding
me! Why would the local news station cover that?”

  “Fritz is a pretty big deal over at Kutrate Kemicals. If he dies, he’s going to be an even bigger deal. You want to talk about it?”

  I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. “There really isn’t all that much to talk about,” I said uneasily. “We were having coffee when he suddenly turned purple and started making weird choking noises. I tried to do the Heimlich but it didn’t help. Thankfully, the EMT’s arrived and took him to the hospital. My daughter told me that he’s in a coma.”

  Ren was looking at me curiously. “Are you two friends?”

  “More like acquaintances,” I said. Brand new acquaintances but I didn’t see any point in sharing that. One thing I’d already learned working for the newspaper was to keep most of the good stuff to myself. While I didn’t think Ren would try to scoop me, you never knew. “I guess he knew Kate too,” I threw out and watched to see if Ren’s expression changed.

  It didn’t. “Kate had a lot of friends, surprisingly. Until they got to know her, that is.” Ren disappeared back into his cubicle and under the ever present mountain of work that was waiting for him. I really didn’t know how he managed to put out an entire section of the newspaper without any help plus take care of any number of maintenance duties assigned to him.

  That reminded me of something. Leaning back, I said, “Excuse me, Ren?”

  He reappeared. “Yes?”

  “Um, now that Kate’s, well, gone, are you still stuck with taking care of the plumbing?”

  Ren looked at me quizzically. “Why wouldn’t I be? We still have bathrooms here, don’t we?”

  “I just thought that maybe things would change since she isn’t around any longer.”

  Ren shook his head. “As long as we work here, we’ll always have ‘other duties as assigned.’ Accept it, DeeDee. Things are easier once you accept them.”