The Moon Moth and Other Stories
Page 29
Duray was relieved and yet vaguely disturbed. If the world had been the exact simulacrum of his own, he might have been subjected to unmanageable emotions—which still might be the case. He walked toward the house, along the path which led down to the river. He stepped up to the porch. On a deck chair was a book: Down There, A Study in Satanism, by J. K. Huysmans. Elizabeth’s tastes were eclectic. Duray had not previously seen the book; was it perhaps that Bob Robertson had put through the parcel delivery?
Duray went into the house. Elizabeth stood across the room. She had evidently watched him coming up the path. She said nothing; her face showed no expression.
Duray halted, somewhat at a loss as to how to address this woman.
“Good afternoon,” he said at last.
Elizabeth allowed a wisp of a smile to show. “Hello, Gilbert.”
At least, thought Duray, on cognate worlds the same language was spoken. He studied Elizabeth. Lacking prior knowledge would he have perceived her to be someone different from his own Elizabeth? Both were beautiful women: tall and slender, with curling black shoulder-length hair, worn without artifice. Their skins were pale with a dusky undertone; their mouths were wide, passionate, stubborn. Duray knew his Elizabeth to be a woman of inexplicable moods, and this Elizabeth was doubtless no different—yet somehow a difference existed, which Duray could not define, deriving perhaps from the strangeness of her atoms, the stuff of a different universe. He wondered if she sensed the same difference in him.
He asked, “Did you close off the passways?”
Elizabeth nodded, without change of expression.
“Why?”
“I thought it the best thing to do,” said Elizabeth in a soft voice.
“That’s no answer.”
“I suppose not. How did you get here?”
“Alan made an opening.”
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. “I thought that was impossible.”
“True. This is a different world to my own. Another Gilbert Duray built this house. I’m not your husband.”
Elizabeth’s mouth drooped in astonishment. She swayed back a step and put her hand up to her neck: a mannerism Duray could not recall in his own Elizabeth. The sense of strangeness came ever more strongly upon him. He felt an intruder. Elizabeth was watching him with a wide-eyed fascination. She said in a hurried mutter: “I wish you’d leave; go back to your own world; do!”
“If you’ve closed off all the passways, you’ll be isolated,” growled Duray. “Marooned, probably forever.”
“Whatever I do,” said Elizabeth, “it’s not your affair.”
“It is my affair, if only for the sake of the girls. I won’t allow them to live and die alone out here.”
“The girls aren’t here,” said Elizabeth in a flat voice. “They are where neither you nor any other Gilbert Duray will find them. So now go back to your own world, and leave me in whatever peace my soul allows me.”
Duray stood glowering at the fiercely beautiful woman. He had never heard his own Elizabeth speak so wildly. He wondered if on his own world another Gilbert Duray similarly confronted his own Elizabeth, and as he analyzed his feelings toward this woman before him he felt a throb of annoyance. A curious situation. He said in a quiet voice, “Very well. You, and my own Elizabeth, have decided to isolate yourselves. I can’t imagine your reasons.”
Elizabeth gave a wild laugh. “They’re real enough.”
“They may be real now, but ten years from now, or forty years from now, they may seem unreal. I can’t give you access to your own Earth, but if you wish, you can use the passway to the Earth from which I’ve just come, and you need never see me again.”
Elizabeth turned away and went to look out over the valley. Duray spoke to her back. “We’ve never had secrets between us, you and I—or I mean, Elizabeth and I. Why now? Are you in love with some other man?”
Elizabeth gave a snort of sardonic amusement. “Certainly not…I’m disgusted with the entire human race.”
“Which presumably includes me.”
“It does indeed, and myself as well.”
“And you won’t tell me why?”
Elizabeth, still looking out the window, wordlessly shook her head.
“Very well,” said Duray in a cold voice. “Will you tell me where you’ve sent the girls? They’re mine as much as yours, remember.”
“These particular girls aren’t yours at all.”
“That may be, but the effect is the same.”
Elizabeth said tonelessly: “If you want to find your own particular girls, you’d better find your own particular Elizabeth and ask her. I can only speak for myself…To tell you the truth I don’t like being part of a composite person, and I don’t intend to act like one. I’m just me. You’re you, a stranger, whom I’ve never seen before in my life. So I wish you’d leave.”
Duray strode from the house, out into the sunlight. He looked once around the wide landscape, then gave his head a surly shake and marched off along the path.
VIII
From Memoirs and Reflections:
The past is exposed for our scrutiny; we can wander the epochs like lords through a garden, serene in our purview. We argue with the noble sages, refuting their laborious concepts, should we be so unkind. Remember (at least) two things. First: the more distant from Now, the less precise our conjunctures, the less our ability to strike to any given instant. We can break in upon yesterday at a stipulated second; during the Eocene plus or minus ten years is the limit of our accuracy; as for the Cretaceous or earlier, an impingement within three hundred years of a given date can be considered satisfactory. Secondly: the past we broach is never our own past, but at best the past of a cognate world, so that any illumination cast upon historical problems is questionable and perhaps deceptive. We cannot plumb the future; the process involves a negative flow of energy, which is inherently impractical. An instrument constructed of anti-matter has been jocularly recommended, but would yield no benefit to us. The future, thankfully, remains forever shrouded.
* * * * * * *
“Aha, you’re back!” exclaimed Alan Robertson. “What did you learn?”
Duray described the encounter with Elizabeth. “She makes no excuse for what she’s done; she shows hostility which doesn’t seem real, especially since I can’t imagine a reason for it.”
Alan Robertson had no comment to make.
“The woman isn’t my wife, but their motivations must be the same. I can’t think of one sensible explanation for conduct so strange, let alone two.”
“Elizabeth seemed normal this morning?” asked Alan Robertson.
“I noticed nothing unusual.”
Alan Robertson went to the control panel of his machine. He looked over his shoulder at Duray.
“What time do you leave for work?”
“About nine.”
Alan Robertson set one dial, turned two others until a ball of green light balanced wavering precisely half-way along a glass tube. He signaled Duray behind the lead slab and touched the button. From the center of the machine came the impact of one hundred and sixty-seven colliding nodules of force, and the groan of rending dimensional fabric.
Alan Robertson brought forth the new passway. “The time is morning. You’ll have to decide for yourself how to handle the situation. You can try to watch without being seen; you can say that you have paperwork to catch up on, that Elizabeth should ignore you and go about her normal routine, while you unobtrusively see what happens.”
Duray frowned. “Presumably for each of these worlds there is a Gilbert Duray who finds himself in my fix. Suppose each tries to slip inconspicuously into someone else’s world to learn what is happening. Suppose each Elizabeth catches him in the act and furiously accuses the man she believes to be her husband of spying on her—this in itself might be the source of Elizabeth’s anger.”
“Well, be as discreet as you can. Presumably you’ll be several hours, so I’ll go back to the boat and putter about. Locker Fi
ve in my private hub yonder; I’ll leave the door open.”
* * * * * * *
Once again Duray stood on the hillside above the river, with the rambling stone house built by still another Gilbert Duray two hundred yards along the slope. From the height of the sun, Duray judged local time to be about nine o’clock: somewhat earlier than necessary. From the chimney of the stone house rose a wisp of smoke; Elizabeth had built a fire in the kitchen fireplace. Duray stood reflecting. This morning in his own house Elizabeth had built no fire. She had been on the point of striking a match and then had decided that the morning was already warm. Duray waited ten minutes, to make sure that the local Gilbert Duray had departed, then set forth toward the house. He paused by the big flat stone to inspect the pattern of moss. The crevice seemed narrower than he remembered, and the moss was dry and discolored. Duray took a deep breath. The air, rich with the odor of grasses and herbs, again seemed to carry an odd unfamiliar scent. Duray proceeded slowly to the house, uncertain whether, after all, he were engaged in a sensible course of action.
He approached the house. The front door was open. Elizabeth came to look out at him in surprise. “That was a quick day’s work!”
Duray said lamely, “The rig is down for repairs. I thought I’d catch up on some paperwork. You go ahead with whatever you were doing.”
Elizabeth looked at him curiously. “I wasn’t doing anything in particular.”
He followed Elizabeth into the house. She wore soft black slacks and an old gray jacket; Duray tried to remember what his own Elizabeth had worn, but the garments had been so familiar that he could summon no recollection.
Elizabeth poured coffee into a pair of stoneware mugs and Duray took a seat at the kitchen table, trying to decide how this Elizabeth differed from his own—if she did. This Elizabeth seemed more subdued and meditative; her mouth might have been a trifle softer. “Why are you looking at me so strangely?” she asked suddenly.
Duray laughed. “I was merely thinking what a beautiful girl you are.”
Elizabeth came to sit in his lap and kissed him, and Duray’s blood began to flow warm. He restrained himself; this was not his wife; he wanted no complications. And if he yielded to temptations of the moment, might not another Gilbert Duray visiting his own Elizabeth do the same?…He scowled.
Elizabeth, finding no surge of ardor, went to sit in the chair opposite. For a moment she sipped her coffee in silence. Then she said, “Just as soon as you left Bob called through.”
“Oh?” Duray was at once attentive. “What did he want?”
“That foolish party of his—the Rubble-menders or some such thing. He wants us to come.”
“I’ve already told him no three times.”
“I told him no again. His parties are always so peculiar. He said he wanted us to come for a very special reason, but he wouldn’t tell me the reason. I told him thank you but no.”
Duray looked around the room. “Did he leave any books?”
“No. Why should he leave me books?”
“I wish I knew.”
“Gilbert,” said Elizabeth, “you’re acting rather oddly.”
“Yes, I suppose I am.” For a fact Duray’s mind was whirling. Suppose now he went to the school passway, brought the girls home from school, then closed off all the passways, so that once again he had an Elizabeth and three daughters, more or less his own; then the conditions he had encountered would be satisfied. And another Gilbert Duray, now happily destroying the tract houses of Cupertino would find himself bereft…Duray recalled the hostile conduct of the previous Elizabeth. The passways in that particular world had certainly not been closed off by an intruding Duray…A startling possibility came to his mind. Suppose a Duray had come to the house and succumbing to temptation had closed off all passways except that one communicating with his own world; suppose then that Elizabeth, discovering the imposture, had killed him…The theory had a grim plausibility, and totally extinguished whatever inclination Duray might have had for making the world his home.
Elizabeth said, “Gilbert, why are you looking at me with that strange expression?”
Duray managed a feeble grin. “I guess I’m just in a bad mood this morning. Don’t mind me. I’ll go make out my report.” He went into the wide cool living room, at once familiar and strange, and brought out the work-records of the other Gilbert Duray…He studied the handwriting: like his own, firm and decisive, but in some indefinable way, different—perhaps a trifle more harsh and angular. The three Elizabeths were not identical, nor were the Gilbert Durays.
An hour passed. Elizabeth occupied herself in the kitchen; Duray pretended to write a report.
A bell sounded. “Somebody at the passway,” said Elizabeth.
Duray said, “I’ll take care of it.”
He went to the passage room, stepped through the passway, looked through the peep-hole—into the large bland sun-tanned face of Bob Robertson.
Duray opened the door. For a moment he and Bob Robertson confronted each other. Bob Robertson’s eyes narrowed. “Why hello, Gilbert. What are you doing at home?”
Duray pointed to the parcel Bob Robertson carried. “What do you have there?”
“Oh these?” Bob Robertson looked down at the parcel as if he had forgotten it. “Just some books for Elizabeth.”
Duray found it hard to control his voice. “You’re up to some mischief, you and your Rumfuddlers. Listen, Bob: keep away from me and Elizabeth. Don’t call here, and don’t bring around any books. Is this definite enough?”
Bob raised his sun-bleached eyebrows. “Very definite, very explicit. But why the sudden rage? I’m just friendly old Uncle Bob.”
“I don’t care what you call yourself; stay away from us.”
“Just as you like, of course. But do you mind explaining this sudden decree of banishment?”
“The reason is simple enough. We want to be left alone.”
Bob made a gesture of mock despair. “All this over a simple invitation to a simple little party, which I’d really like you to come to.”
“Don’t expect us. We won’t be there.”
Bob’s face suddenly went pink. “You’re coming a very high horse over me my lad, and it’s a poor policy. You might just get hauled up with a jerk. Matters aren’t all the way you think they are.”
“I don’t care a rap one way or another,” said Duray. “Goodbye.”
He closed the locker door and backed through the passway. He returned into the living room. Elizabeth called from the kitchen. “Who was it, dear?”
“Bob Robertson, with some books.”
“Books? Why books?”
“I didn’t trouble to find out. I told him to stay away. After this, if he’s at the passway, don’t open it.”
Elizabeth looked at him intently. “Gil—you’re so strange today! There’s something about you that almost scares me.”
“Your imagination is working too hard.”
“Why should Bob trouble to bring me books? What sort of books? Did you see?”
“Demonology. Black magic. That sort of thing.”
“Mmf. Interesting—but not all that interesting…I wonder if a world like ours, where no one has ever lived, would have things like goblins and ghosts?”
“I suspect not,” said Duray. He looked toward the door. There was nothing more to be accomplished here and it was time to return to his own Earth. He wondered how to make a graceful departure. And what would occur when the Gilbert Duray now working his rig came home?
Duray said, “Elizabeth, sit down in this chair here.”
Elizabeth slowly slid into the chair at the kitchen table and watched him with a puzzled gaze.
“This may come as a shock,” he said. “I am Gilbert Duray, but not your personal Gilbert Duray. I’m his cognate.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened to lustrous dark pools.
Duray said, “On my own world Bob Robertson caused me and my Elizabeth trouble. I came here to find out what he had done and why
, and to stop him from doing it again.”
Elizabeth asked, “What has he done?”
“I still don’t know. He probably won’t bother you again. You can tell your personal Gilbert Duray whatever you think best, or even complain to Alan.”
“I’m bewildered by all this!”
“No more so than I.” He went to the door. “I’ve got to leave now. Goodby.”
Elizabeth jumped to her feet and came impulsively forward. “Don’t say goodby. It has such a lonesome sound, coming from you…It’s like my own Gilbert saying goodby.”
“There’s nothing else to do. Certainly I can’t follow my inclinations and move in with you. What good are two Gilberts? Who’d get to sit at the head of the table?”
“We could have a round table,” said Elizabeth. “Room for six or seven. I like my Gilberts.”
“Your Gilberts like their Elizabeths.” Duray sighed and said, “I’d better go now.”
Elizabeth held out her hand. “Goodby, cognate Gilbert.”
IX
From Memoirs and Reflections:
The Oriental world-view differs from our own—specifically my own—in many respects, and I was early confronted with a whole set of dilemmas. I reflected upon Asiatic apathy and its obverse, despotism; warlords and brain-laundries; indifference to disease, filth and suffering; sacred apes and irresponsible fecundity.