IMMORTAL MATCHMAKERS, INC. (Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. Series Book 1)

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  “What the fuck, Andrus. Does this have anything to do with her? I mean, I know you said your feelings for me would change, but this is a little extreme.”

  “Charlotte, who is your cousin by the way, has nothing to do with this.”

  She blinked at him, straining to keep her head elevated. “Charlotte? You mean your Charlotte is my cousin?”

  He nodded coldly. “Yes.”

  “But how?”

  “Small world, I suppose.”

  “Fine. Whatever. But why’ve you chained me up?” she panted her words.

  Andrus propped his sword against the wall and turned to face her, his jaw pumping with tension. Suddenly, he grabbed the hem of his black tee and pulled it over his head, revealing his menacing pecs and biceps and the deep grooves of those rock-hard abs.

  “Wha-what are you doing?” she asked.

  He kicked off his boots and then began unzipping his pants, a sinister look in his feral eyes. “What does it look like?” he said, in that deep, ominous voice.

  “Andrus, I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re scaring me.”

  He shed his pants, standing completely nude to her side, his long thick cock harder than hell.

  “Andrus. No. I mean it.”

  He ignored her completely and then reached for her jeans, quickly peeling them down and exposing her lower torso. “No, no, no. You don’t want to do this,” she begged.

  “Let’s just see about that.”

  Everything went black.

  When Sadie came to again, Andrus lay on his back on the cement floor, naked, bleeding from deep scratches all over his torso, face, and rib cage. And…

  A huge fucking smile plastered on his face?

  She still had the cuffs on her wrists and ankles, but the chains that had held her to the bed were broken.

  She looked down at her shredded pile of clothes on the floor. She, too, was completely nude.

  Oh fuck. Oh fuck. What’s going on? She grabbed Andrus’s tee from the floor and slipped it over her head. On her, it was like a minidress.

  She turned to sprint for the stairs when she heard his voice. “Wait! Don’t go.”

  She glanced over her shoulder.

  “Watch the video,” he grumbled, pointing to a camera in the corner.

  “You filmed us? You raped me and filmed us?” She ran for his sword and pushed the point against his heart.

  Andrus held up his hands. “What? Rape? Gods no, woman. The chains were to protect me.”

  “From what?”

  “From you, but it didn’t work. Watch the video.” He slowly staggered to his feet and slid on his leather pants, wincing with every movement.

  “What are you talking about?”

  He looked at her with a hard expression. “All those times you woke up with scratches and bites, those were defensive wounds from your supper.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “No one has been hunting you, Sadie. You’re the predator. A succubus—a half-breed, anyway.”

  “You drag me down here to your basement, chain me, I wake up naked, and you expect me to listen to your crazy lies.”

  “I would never, ever hurt you. And I think in your heart you know it. Watch the video.” He gestured toward the camera on the tripod.

  She slowly walked over to the camera, still pointing the sword at him. It was still rolling, so she hit the stop and rewind button.

  She hit play and the scene unfolded in a blur of unbelievable images: She screamed for her life as Andrus peeled down her jeans. Then he stepped away from her as her eyes glowed bright orange, and she snapped her chains like ropes made of licorice. She pounced and took him down like a cheetah snagging a baby deer.

  She covered her mouth. “Oh shit.” She watched in horror as this thing that looked like her straddled Andrus and had her way with him, clawing at his chest and riding his cock. Then the two of them began rolling around on the cold floor, fucking like savage animals.

  Sadie’s eyes darted over to Andrus and then back at the camera. “That’s—that’s us?”

  He nodded with a cocky triumphant smile. “Oh yeah. And it was so fucking hot. You have no idea.”

  “But I don’t understand.”

  He approached her slowly, as if she were a hungry lion he didn’t want to provoke. “I caught you sucking the life from a man in your apartment, and I had to knock you over the head to keep you from killing him.”

  She gasped. “I almost killed Mr. Blakely, my landlord?”

  He nodded.

  “Please don’t tell me I had sex with him, too?”

  “From what I could see, you were merely draining his life force.”

  She walked over to the bed and plopped down. “I don’t understand.”

  Andrus sat next to her. “Cimil says your father is an incubus.”

  Her head whipped up. “My dad?”

  “He likely would’ve kept it hidden from you for your own safety. Your kind are not welcome in the human world. You’re very dangerous.”

  “But I’ve never seen him do anything strange.” Except that her mother had left them all so suddenly and never came back. Perhaps she found out the truth and was afraid of them.

  “You can ask him when you’re ready,” Andrus said. “But you just saw the proof on that tape, which is why I made it; so you could see for yourself. That, and I needed to see it with my own eyes, too.”

  Oh God. “I think I’m going to be sick. I’m a monster.”

  “When I learned the truth, I thought so, too. But then I realized what a strange thing fate is.”

  She looked up into his loving eyes. How could he stand the sight of her?

  “My first mate truly was a monster. Her hate of life and humanity ran soul deep. But being with her, as strange and horrific as it was, taught me the difference between true evil and those who are simply struggling to be good despite their genetics.”

  “You can’t possibly be saying I’m good.”

  He made a little grumble and ran his hands through his messy fuck-styled hair. “This is the problem. You are good when you’re in this form, but when you turn, you’re not. And apparently you’ve killed quite a few people.”

  She cupped her hands over her mouth in horror. “I have?”

  He nodded. “So I am told.”

  Her heart sank. This couldn’t be happening. She was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. “What am I going to do? I don’t want to kill people.”

  “Nor do the gods wish this, which is why they will send someone to kill you.”

  “What? I’m going to die?” On the other hand, maybe it was for the best. She was a killer.

  He cupped her cheek and gazed lovingly into her eyes. “I will never let anyone harm you as long as I exist.”

  “I’m evil, Andrus. Evil and dangerous.”

  He slowly reached for her cheek and brushed his thumb over her bottom lip. “Which is why fate could not have chosen better. I am fairly skilled at handling evil, dangerous creatures, so I will find a way to help you control your urges.” He grinned. “I love you, Sadie.”

  “You do?”

  “What about Charlotte?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “She looks just like you, but she’s nothing like you.”

  “What about Matty?”

  “I’ll simply have to trust that the Universe will find a way to make things right. But I can’t deny my heart. Not anymore. Not when there’s you.”

  Tears filled her eyes. She didn’t know what to say or make of this or how to possibly understand what she’d just learned, but Andrus was the only thing she could see clearly in the surrounding storm.

  “I love you, too, Andrus.” She leaned in and planted a big kiss on his bad-boy pouty lips.

  He pulled away. “I’m glad. Because you and I are going to have to put up a fight to make our destiny.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Andrus had a plan. A very bad plan, but it was the only one he could come up with. And with the looming t
hreat of the immortal community finding out about Sadie—a banned species—he had to attack the problem head-on and hope for the best. Because plan B, living on the run, wasn’t a long-term solution. The gods could easily find them.

  Early in the morning, he walked through the lobby toward the ballroom at the Beverly Hills Hotel with Sadie, gripping her hand firmly in his. He’d stayed up all night making arrangements and calling every ex-Demilord (now all demigods like himself) he could get his hands on. They were no longer under his command, as they’d all been freed, but they still remained loyal to him.

  This is either going to go really well, or really bad.

  He glanced down at Sadie in her little pink summer dress and gave her a comforting smile. “Do you trust me?”

  She nodded. “Of course. But why won’t you tell me your plan?”

  Because I don’t know if you’ll agree.

  “All you need to know is that I love you. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

  She let out a breath. “Okay. Let’s do this, then.”

  They opened the doors to the ballroom and entered with a gasp.

  “Dear gods,” he whispered. “I will need to have my brain washed.”

  Nude, sleeping people lie everywhere—over the tables, on top of the bar, on the floor—in various states of postcoital dress. Empty bottles, confetti, clothes, condoms, and food littered every corner.

  “This must’ve been one wild party,” Sadie said.

  “It’s about to get wilder,” he said.

  ~~~

  What is he up to? Sadie thought as Andrus began clapping his hands and screaming at the room full of hungover partygoers. “Everybody wake up!”

  The doors flung open behind them and in walked ten huge, menacing-looking men in black leather pants, black T-shirts, and leather dusters. They all wore dark sunglasses, but if she had to guess, she’d bet they had turquoise eyes.

  “Friends of yours?” she asked Andrus.

  “They are my brothers,” he replied and dipped his head at the gang of biker-looking dudes. “Thanks for coming.”

  One of the men, a taller guy with longer dark hair, dipped his head. “Anything for you, sir. Where would you like us to start?”

  “I want you to guard this succubus,” Andrus replied. “Don’t let anyone lay a finger on her.”

  The man looked past Sadie. “What succubus? And why would we guard one versus killing her?”

  Andrus pointed right at her. “Gentlemen, may I introduce Sadie. The woman I have chosen to be mine.”

  They blinked and rumbled a few words between them.

  “Are you sure about this, sir?” the taller guy said.

  “Yes, and I am taking full responsibility for her actions.”

  “Andrus, you know there is nothing we wouldn’t do for you, but—”

  “I freed you all,” Andrus interjected. “And you all swore fealty to me. So under the laws of the immortals, your fealty must also extend to my wife.”

  Wife?

  “Andrus?” Sadie said. “What are you doing?”

  He turned toward her and smiled reassuringly. “Sadie, I’ve only known you for all of eight days, but there is no doubt in my heart that you are the one. You’ve made me angry, you’ve mesmerized me with your beauty, you’ve helped me remember who I once was and brought my heart back to life. If that’s not enough, there’s the fact that I rejected my mate for you, which is unheard of in our world. I love you, with my free heart, and I want you to be my wife.”

  A tall, statuesque woman with an enormous beehive on her head stepped toward them from the awakening crowd. Holy shit. There were real bees swarming around her head and crawling on her body.

  “What is the meaning of thisss, Andruzzz?” she said with a buzzy lisp.

  “Colel.” Andrus dipped his head. “Lovely to see you again, Mistress of Bees. I am interrupting your very horrible hangover to marry this succubus.”

  A naked man with ankle-length silver and black hair, who wore an enormous silver headdress with intertwining serpents, stepped from the crowd. “The gods have declared any of her kind to be executed on the spot.”

  Andrus held up his hand. “K’ak, also a pleasure to see you again.”

  Did he just call that guy “cock”?

  Andrus continued, “I am going to marry this woman who, as everyone can clearly see for themselves, has a good aura. She is a Forbidden.”

  “She is a demon who feeds off of Forbiddens,” argued the headdress-cock-guy.

  “She is half human and that half is good. Just look at her,” Andrus insisted.

  The crowd of about one hundred people grumbled in agreement.

  Could everyone in the room really see her aura?

  “And when she shifts into her other form, which is not so good, what then, Demilord?” Brutus stepped from the crowd, holding a long gleaming sword in one hand and the elderly cocker spaniel in the other.

  Wow. Brutus speaks? And he looked like he wanted to kill her.

  “She will learn to control herself with the right help,” said a deep familiar voice.

  Sadie turned her head and spotted a familiar-looking face. “Daddy? What are you doing here?” He wore a dark gray suit that matched both his hair and the very pissed-off look on his face.

  “Do you think I would let my little girl be hunted like some animal?” her father said.

  “Move!” Cimil barked from behind him, pushing an extra-extra-long stroller. “Make way for the evil seeds.” What the hell is that woman wearing? It was a giant blue teddy bear costume.

  “Cimil?” Andrus said, sounding unsure if he was happy to see her or scared as hell.

  “Okay, everyone,” Cimil said. “I’m gonna just lay it all out on the table. I fucked this one up. Majorly. Andrus is not supposed to be with that sucky succubus.”

  “Cimil!” Andrus looked like he was about to lunge for her when she threw out her hands.

  “Hold your balls, Andrus. I’m not finished yet.” He stared at her and she stared back. “No. I really mean it. I’d love to see you hold them.”

  Andrus’s expression was somewhere between confused and livid.

  “No?” Cimil said. “Not gonna drop leather trow for me?” She shrugged. “Okay, fine. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I was about to tell everyone that I’ve recently learned that the last apocalypse sorta changed all the rules.”

  “What do you mean, Ziiimil?” buzzed the beehive lady.

  “I have absolutely no clue,” replied Cimil. “All I know is that since our very close call, everything has felt off, chaotic, like the lines of good and bad and right and wrong are all jumbled up.”

  “This is no reason to allow an incubus and a succubus to walk the earth, tormenting Forbiddens. They are evil,” argued the cock-guy.

  “That’s the point,” Cimil interjected. “It’s the piece I couldn’t figure out. This guy,” she pointed to Sadie’s father, “is supposed to be evil, and he once was. But now he does root canals and is in a loving committed relationship. And these little guys,” she started blowing kisses to the four tiny carriages in front of her, “were supposed to be born good, but are obviously tiny demons who will likely cause mass destruction once they’re old enough to drive.”

  “They’re your children; I do not think it’s a surprise to anyone that they are evil,” interjected another familiar male face in the crowd. Sadie recognized him from Cimil’s office—depressing black hair and beautiful turquoise eyes.

  “I’m telling you, something is happening,” Cimil said. “And if you don’t want to believe me, talk to my Maaskab babysitter. He’ll tell you he can’t stop thinking about doing nice things. It’s driving him crazy.”

  “You have a Maaskab coming to your home?” Brutus growled.

  “Sorry, everyone. You can either fight it or accept it. But it’s a new world order. And evil is the new good.”

  The room rumbled with skepticism. As for herself, she had no clue what any of this really mea
nt—heck, she was still reeling from the fact that her father had come all the way to L.A. and put himself at risk. And that he was an incubus. And that she was half-succubus. Jesus, my life is a mess. But at least she had Andrus.

  “Cimil,” Andrus said, “I have to ask, then, what does that mean? What will happen to those of us who are good?”

  “My dead-peeps are telling me that anyone who doesn’t have a special someone to ground them is gonna flip out or go to the…dark side,” she said in a Darth Vader voice. “Which now explains why I had a vision of Zac going on a slaughter spree. He will be one of many to change.” She sighed. “Ah, the Universe and her sense of humor. You gotta, gotta love it.”

  “No, I don’t,” Andrus replied, “but I do love Sadie, and from the sound of it, the sooner we marry, the better.” He turned to Sadie. “If you’ll have me?”

  She gazed up into his loving turquoise eyes. She felt like her entire world had flipped upside down, but she knew this was the man she was meant to be with. “Can we live in L.A. so I can still be an actress?”

  He cupped her face. “Anything for you, Sadie. You just cannot suck the life force from any more producers or co-workers, or anyone else, for that matter. Just me. And me only.”

  That sounded kind of nice. Especially if she got to use that big straw of his when she did the sucking. Oh, God. Did I just think that?

  “Thank you, Andrus. I would’ve said yes anyway, but it’s good to know that I don’t have to give up my dreams just because I’m half evil.”

  Andrus leaned down and kissed her lips softly. “You saw that tape. You’re more than just a little evil, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  “All right, kids.” Cimil clapped her hands. “Who wants to play minister?”

  A man in a pair of white underwear, with long hair and a beer belly, stumbled forward. “I wanna marry them,” he slurred.

  “Who’s that?” Sadie whispered to Andrus.

  “The God of Wine and Intoxication, and considering the other options in the room, I think we should accept his offer.”

  Sadie looked at the people, who were mostly naked, standing around chatting and drinking without a care in the world.