Second Time Around

by Colette Caddle

  Mandy burst out laughing. ‘You won’t find any real men at dance classes, just weirdos hoping to get their paws on a woman, any woman.’

  ‘At least while she’s with me I know that she’s not with that bastard.’ Suzie sniffed.

  ‘If you’re planning to go dancing and travelling, you definitely need a new wardrobe.’ Mandy changed the subject, tired of examining her niece’s love life. ‘As my esteemed boss is out of town, why don’t I pick you up first thing?’

  Suzie brightened. ‘Yeah, why not? I’ll make an appointment with Veronica to get my roots done, too.’

  ‘Are you mad? That woman is the reason you look old. I’ll book you in with Adrian.’

  ‘Feck off. I’m not paying those prices.’

  ‘Don’t you think you deserve it?’ Mandy asked.

  Suzie was silent for a moment and then looked at her, a glint in her eye. ‘You know, maybe I do.’

  Mandy looked at her, astonished. ‘Seriously?’

  ‘Yeah, why not?’

  ‘You won’t regret it.’ Mandy promised, looking forward to the challenge of knocking ten years off her sister. Well, maybe five.

  The hairdresser walked round Suzie, tugging her hair this way and that. ‘I think a short cut, but we’ll keep the thickness and go ash-blonde.’

  Mandy nodded enthusiastically. ‘Oh, yes. That should look quite striking.’

  ‘Should?’ Adrian pouted at her.

  ‘Will,’ Mandy said. ‘Sorry, Adrian.’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Suzie hesitated, not liking his attitude and the way the two of them were trying to push her into this.

  Adrian squeezed her shoulder and smiled for the first time. ‘Trust me, darling. You will love it.’

  Suzie sat up straighter and nodded. ‘Go for it. After all, you only live once.’

  When later she looked at her reflection, Suzie could have cried. What had she done? She looked like an old woman, completely washed out. Adrian saw her shocked expression and patted her shoulder. ‘Don’t worry. The black gown is draining you of colour and you’re wearing no eye makeup.’

  That was true, Suzie had to admit, but she still felt she’d made a huge mistake. Why had she trusted this guy? Then one of the other stylists took a turquoise scarf from around her shoulders and tossed it over to him. ‘Try that.’

  ‘Perfect.’ Adrian beamed and draped the material round Suzie’s neck and shoulders.

  ‘Oh,’ Suzie breathed when she saw the way the scarf brought out the blue in her eyes and the healthy pink of her cheeks and lips. ‘That’s amazing.’

  ‘From now on, wear strong colours. Blues, reds, purples,’ he advised. ‘No beige and definitely no prints and stripes.’

  ‘You should come shopping with us,’ Mandy told him. ‘She needs a new wardrobe as she’s dropped two dress sizes.’

  ‘How fantastic!’ The hairdresser beamed again. ‘Just remember: plain colours, and go for figure-hugging clothes to show off that fab figure. Then steer clear of chocolate, girl.’

  ‘Fuck that,’ Suzie said. ‘I’ll just buy everything in two sizes.’ She looked up to see the stylist’s jaw drop. ‘Oops, sorry. I got a bang on the head and I never really know what’s going to come out when I open my mouth.’

  ‘None of us do,’ her sister told him. Suzie paid for her new style and Mandy’s trim and blow-dry, ignoring the three-figure amount, and walked out into the street feeling like a new woman.

  ‘Ready?’ Mandy asked.

  Suzie grinned. ‘Ready.’

  Chapter Five

  Four department stores and six shopping bags later, Suzie led her sister into a fancy French restaurant for a late lunch.

  ‘I wish you’d hit your head years ago if this is the effect it has on you,’ Mandy said, clinking her wine glass against Suzie’s.

  ‘Do you mean lunch or shopping?’

  ‘Both. You’ve always been so careful with your money, and unadventurous too. You didn’t trust foreign or fancy foods and now you’re sitting here eating oysters and swilling wine.’

  Suzie chuckled. ‘Meet the new Suzie Connors who’s planning to live life to the full.’

  ‘You certainly look like a new woman. Fair play to Adrian, that hairstyle has taken years off you.’

  It was true. In Brown Thomas, Suzie had agreed to let a beauty consultant do her makeup and couldn’t believe it when she looked in the mirror. Now, dressed in a turquoise dress and the shoes Mandy had persuaded her to buy, despite their ridiculous price, Suzie felt a million dollars. She looked round at the other diners – friends lunching, business types and a couple of TV personalities – and felt that she fitted in quite well. ‘I could get used to this.’

  ‘No reason why you shouldn’t,’ Mandy said. You’re a wealthy woman and, if your solicitor can prove that the hotel’s gym staff were negligent, you could be a lot richer.’

  Spending money still didn’t come easily to Suzie. Days like today would always be the exception not the rule. But her sister was right. She could afford to do whatever she wanted, within reason. It was a liberating thought.

  The mind was a strange thing, she mused. She had no trouble recalling her family and friends or the basics of her life history, but there were gaps that she discovered only when the family talked about times that she had no memory of. That upset her a little. Then there were silly things such as her likes and dislikes. Mandy had almost passed out when she’d ordered the oysters and then pronounced them delicious. Apparently, the only fish she’d eaten in the past had been the battered sort from the chippy. While it was all a bit scary, it was exciting, too. From what she’d been told, Suzie wasn’t that impressed with the woman she’d been before the accident. She sounded dull and a pushover. But not anymore. She caught sight of her image in the mirrored wall across the way and smiled. Mandy had always been the prettiest Clarke girl and now, despite the ten-year age difference, Suzie felt she could hold her own. Not that stuff like that mattered but it was nice to feel more confident. She looked over at Mandy.

  ‘So where should we go on holiday?’

  Mandy put down her cutlery, her face lighting up. ‘For noise, excitement and fun? There’s only one place to go. New York, baby.’

  Suzie hadn’t been away in years, and then only on package deals where John had snored happily in the sun while she kept an eye on the kids. The thought of going somewhere just for her was exciting. ‘I’ll need to renew my passport.’

  ‘And clear it with the consultant,’ her sister said.

  ‘I don’t need to clear anything with anyone,’ Suzie retorted. Between doctors and family she was fed up being told what to do. She was better now and well able to make her own decisions.

  ‘You need medical clearance or you won’t be able to get travel insurance,’ Mandy pointed out.

  ‘Fine. I’m due back for a check-up in a few weeks. I’ll sort it out then.’

  Mandy drained her glass. ‘Come on. If we’re going to New York, we’d better get back to the shops. By the time I’ve kitted you out, you’ll be able to give Samantha a run for her money.’

  ‘Samantha?’ Suzie looked at her.

  ‘The character from Sex and the City?’ Suzie still hadn’t a clue who she was talking about and Mandy’s eyes widened. ‘It was one of your favourite shows.’

  Suzie felt a wave of panic. ‘I don’t remember.’

  ‘Don’t worry about it, you have the box set. Now, let’s go.’

  Several hours later, Suzie dropped her bags in the hall, kicked off her shoes and went into the kitchen to make a much-needed coffee. Noel was at the table, working. She was surprised to see him. He was usually holed up in his room or out with his mates. She smiled affectionately at the ink on his fingers, his mop of sandy hair and the wispy excuse of a beard. He was so like Sharon, although not as uptight. Still, he didn’t have a crazy kid to deal with. ‘Hello, love. How’s the studying going?’

  He closed the book he’d been reading and shoved it into his backpack. ‘Fine
,’ he said and took out a pad.

  Suzie frowned at the shadows under his bloodshot eyes. ‘You look knackered. Why don’t you get an early night and you’ll feel fresher in the morning?’

  He gave a wide yawn and dragged his hand through his hair. ‘I can’t sleep. I conk out as soon as I hit the pillow but then I wake up a couple of hours later and lie there, thinking.’

  ‘You’ve been working too hard,’ Suzie said, wishing there was something she could do to help. Then she remembered the pills the doctor had prescribed for her a while back for anxiety. She grinned. ‘Wait here.’ Upstairs she rummaged in the locker by her bed until she found an almost full blister pack of white pills. She returned to the kitchen and put them on the table in front of him. ‘Here, these should do the trick.’

  Noel stared at the pack. ‘Where did you get these, a dealer?’

  She chuckled. ‘The doc gave me them when I was leaving the hospital. They’re supposed to help you relax.’

  ‘I thought that you didn’t approve of pill popping.’

  She wrinkled her nose trying to remember whether she did or not. ‘I suppose that’s true but, you’re under a lot of pressure, and, if these help and get you through the exams, then what’s the harm?’

  ‘Cheers, Mum.’ Noel grinned and took a pill, glugging it down with a glass of water.

  ‘Hungry?’ she asked.

  ‘Always.’

  ‘Why don’t you phone for pizza? I’m not in the mood for cooking and I had a huge lunch with Mandy. We’ve spent the day shopping.’

  ‘You two are very pally these days. You never used to do girly stuff together. In fact, you’ve never really got on at all.’

  ‘Really?’ Suzie shrugged. ‘Maybe it takes something serious to bring people closer.’

  ‘Maybe.’ Noel cocked his head on one side, looking at her properly for the first time. ‘Your hair’s different.’

  ‘Finally, he notices.’ Suzie grinned and did a twirl. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘Suits ya. You’ll be bringing home an oul’ fella next,’ he teased.

  ‘Feck off. If I’m going to get a fella, he’ll be a toy boy.’

  He closed his eyes and groaned. ‘Too much information, Mum. Mind you, in that getup, you just might pull.’

  She threw back her head and laughed. ‘Open a bottle of wine for me, would you, love? I’m going to have an early night and read my book.’

  ‘I thought the doc said to go easy on the booze for a while.’

  ‘Ah, fuck that. A little of what you fancy does you good, that’s what my da used to say. In fact that’s probably the only bit of good advice the oul’ bastard gave me.’

  He burst out laughing. ‘Ah, Mum.’

  She smiled. ‘What?’

  He shook his head. ‘It’s good to have you home.’

  She smiled and hugged him. ‘It’s good to be here.’

  Noel was watching a movie online when he heard his sister letting herself in.

  ‘Hey, lazy, how come you’re not studying?’

  He didn’t bother looking up. ‘I’m on a break, Jess. What’s your excuse?’

  ‘I wanted to check on Mum. I tried to call a few times and there was no answer.’

  ‘She was out shopping with Mandy all day so she’s exhausted and having an early night.’

  ‘She went shopping with Mandy?’ Jess stared at him.

  He chuckled. ‘I know, right? They seem to be best buddies all of a sudden. She got a new hairstyle, too.’

  Jess’s eyes widened as she sank into a chair. ‘Is it bad?’

  ‘No, she looks great. By the way, she’s talking about going to New York for a few days.’

  ‘What?’ Jess looked horrified.

  He sighed when he saw her worried frown. ‘I only said she was thinking about it, Jess.’

  ‘She’s so hyper at the moment. She wants to do everything, go everywhere. It’s exhausting.’

  Noel shrugged. ‘It’s probably just the euphoria of being alive. Hardly surprising. Who cares what she does as long as she’s happy?’

  ‘True, although I wish she’d learn to be more tactful. If she keeps saying exactly what she thinks, someone’s going to thump her. She told Keith the other day that he was putting on a lot of weight and Sharon that there was a parenting programme on TV that she should watch.’

  Noel sniggered. ‘It is quite entertaining, though.’

  ‘Easy for you to be smug,’ Jess scoffed. ‘She hasn’t had a go at you yet.’

  ‘That’s because I’m perfect.’ He shot her a knowing look. ‘I don’t mess around with married women.’

  ‘She told you.’ Jess looked shocked and embarrassed.

  ‘Oh, yeah, and in very colourful language, too. What were you thinking? How could you mess around with a married guy?’

  ‘I thought he was separated, not that it’s any of your business. Mum had no right to tell you.’

  ‘In case you hadn’t noticed, Mum doesn’t worry about minor things like confidentiality. I hope you’ve dropped him, or she’s liable to drag you up to their house and let his wife deal with you.’

  Jess bit her lip, blanching. ‘She wouldn’t.’

  Noel stared at her and shook his head. ‘You haven’t finished with him, have you?’

  ‘I haven’t had a chance,’ she protested. ‘He’s out of the country at the moment.’

  ‘Huh, on business with another lady reporter, eh?’ He shook his head. He didn’t know why he felt so pissed off with Jess. Maybe it was because she was the eldest of the family and – he’d always thought – the smartest of the three of them.

  Jess stood up, glaring. ‘Fuck off, Noel, and stay out of my business.’

  ‘Gladly.’ He listened to her march down the hall. ‘Don’t wake Mum,’ he called after her, and then flinched as the front door slammed. ‘Thanks.’

  Chapter Six

  ‘Bobby! No, darling, please don’t do that.’ Sharon tried to keep her voice even, but she was fast losing patience. Her son had refused to eat his shepherd’s pie and was instead lining up his peas beside his plate. They kept rolling out of order and he finally lost patience and shoved the plate off the table. It landed with a plop at his father’s feet, the gravy splashing Keith’s leather shoes.

  ‘Right, young man, that’s it.’ Keith grabbed Bobby by the arm and dragged him from the table.

  ‘Keith, stop. He’s only a child, he doesn’t know any better,’ she said as her son started to kick and scream.

  ‘For God’s sake, Sharon, he’s almost five. He needs to learn that we won’t tolerate this sort of behaviour.’

  Sharon pulled Bobby away from her husband and into the protective circle of her arms. She could feel his heart pounding in his chest but slowly, as she held him tight, he started to calm down. ‘Good boy.’

  Keith looked at them in disgust. ‘What’s the bloody point? How is Bobby ever going to learn right from wrong with you fawning all over him?’

  He left the room and, moments later, Sharon heard the TV blaring. She cuddled her son closer. ‘It’s okay, sweetie. Daddy isn’t cross with you.’

  ‘He is.’

  ‘Well, he doesn’t mean to be. He works very hard and loses his temper when he gets tired.’

  ‘Only with me,’ Bobby said.

  Sharon was thrown by the perceptive comment. ‘How about some ice cream?’ He nodded and sat back at the table while she went to the freezer. She put a dish of vanilla-and-chocolate ice-cream in front of him. ‘Now, what do you say?’

  ‘Thank you,’ he mumbled.

  ‘Good boy.’ Sharon wondered how many mothers felt as victorious as she did when she managed to prise a polite response from her child.

  The phone rang and Sharon tensed when she heard her mother’s voice.

  ‘Hi, love. All set for our first meditation class?’

  Sharon groaned. ‘Is that tonight?’

  ‘Yes, and don’t try to worm your way out of it – I’m looking forward to it.’
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  ‘It’s just that Bobby isn’t in great form and he gets unsettled when I go out before bedtime.’

  Suzie tutted. ‘Won’t his dad be there? If you don’t come, I can’t go either. It’s not on a bus route and you know that I’m not allowed to drive yet.’

  Sharon buckled under the emotional blackmail. ‘Fine. I’ll pick you up at six thirty.’

  ‘Great. I know you’ll enjoy it. It’s supposed to be very calming.’

  Sharon bristled. ‘And why do I need calming?’

  ‘Don’t be so bloody touchy,’ her mother groaned. ‘I’m simply saying that you’re a busy mum and it’s important to take some time out for yourself. The healthier and happier you are, the better you can handle things.’

  ‘You’ve been reading those brochures again.’

  Suzie chuckled. ‘I have but, you have to admit, it makes sense.’

  ‘It does,’ Sharon conceded. ‘See you later, Mum.’ She sat staring at the phone. She hadn’t been coping well lately and even her mother had noticed.

  Sharon felt like such a failure. She’d longed to be a mother and was devastated to find that she wasn’t a very good one. Not that she neglected Bobby, quite the reverse, as Keith was fond of pointing out. But she had expected to have a strong bond with her child. She’d assumed that she would know what he wanted, what he needed and that she would always be able to comfort and protect him. But Sharon had tried everything to get through to Bobby and failed. She had told him he must play nicely with other children and share his toys, and had encouraged him to talk, but all without success. As for the tantrums, she couldn’t even figure what triggered them, never mind how to manage them. The only thing she could do was hold Bobby and let him know she was there, and wait until the tirades passed.

  She knew her friends and family didn’t agree with her methods. Only Mum had stood by her, never once criticising or interfering and, when even Sharon lost patience, had taken over and tried to cajole Bobby to be good. But that was Mum before the accident.