Second Time Around

by Colette Caddle

  Keith had called her after the obstetrician had taken him aside for a private word, leaving him in no doubt of the seriousness of Sharon’s condition. When he’d told Jess she’d promised faithfully that he had their support and they’d do everything they could to help. She hoped they could rely on Suzie to step up to the plate. She felt more confident now that they’d talked – or, rather, she’d talked and her mother had seemed to listen. They’d cope. It might not be the easiest thing they’d ever done but, one way or another, they’d cope.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jess’s phone vibrated in the pocket of her hoody and she tugged it out, groaning when she saw that it was from Louis. She stared at it for a moment, then shoving it back into her pocket, carried on walking. She didn’t really want to read it. She could always say that she hadn’t received it if it was work-related, and he’d be forced to email her. On the other hand, he might decide to pay her another visit. Jess left the beach, clambered back up onto the boardwalk and, crossing to her favourite café, ordered a coffee. She took it to a table overlooking the bay and set the phone on the table in front of her. After a couple of sips, she read Louis’s text.

  Business trip to Cork tomorrow, overnight. Come with me.

  Her heart skipped a beat at the request and she remembered the early days of their romance when Louis had been sweet and loving. As she sat pondering how best to respond, another message came through, this time from Keith, asking her if she’d babysit tomorrow night. Relieved that the decision had been taken out of her hands, Jess fired off a text to Keith saying yes and then one to Louis saying that she couldn’t go to Cork as she had family commitments. Of course, she should have just said no but, if Keith hadn’t asked her to babysit, she knew that she might have been tempted to go with him. There was no hope for her.

  The phone vibrated again: a message from Keith, thanking her; but there was no response from Louis. She shivered, wondering if Louis would make her pay for this. She had managed to avoid him since the day that Cal had interrupted them but she knew he was annoyed. She shook her head. There was no point in worrying about that now. She checked her emails. There was one from Beth and another from Dermot, both looking for pieces by Friday. Good. If she was kept busy, she’d have no time to worry about Louis. Jess finished her coffee and headed home to work.

  Suzie was getting ready for her ‘date’ when her sister rang.

  ‘What are you going to wear?’

  Remembering that Mandy thought that this was a real date, Suzie grinned and pretended to be nervous and excited. The second was true, but not for the reason Mandy thought. Still, maybe if her sister thought they were dating, she’d back off and let Doug go to Zagreb alone. ‘I haven’t a clue, Mandy. Any ideas?’

  ‘Something casual and comfortable,’ her sister advised. ‘Douglas will be dragging you round for hours and he certainly won’t bother dressing up.’

  Suzie had to smile at that. If Mandy had seen him in his heyday she’d have been flabbergasted by the man’s style. It also occurred to her that her sister didn’t want her to look her best.

  ‘He looked smart enough the other day,’ she said to Mandy.

  ‘Only because I put on a wash and left those clothes out for him.’

  Suzie frowned. She didn’t like the idea of Mandy having access to Douglas’s bedroom, let alone his closets. Surely a personal assistant shouldn’t be quite that personal. She decided it was time for straight talking. ‘Mandy, do you have a problem with me going out with Douglas?’

  There was a short silence on the other end of the line and then a splutter of laughter. ‘Of course not. Once you stick with visiting galleries and leave the four-star hotels to me, it’s cool.’

  Suzie scowled. The one thing worse than Mandy being able to have almost any man, was the fact that she knew it. Suzie hoped Doug wouldn’t take the bait. She didn’t know why she felt so protective of him. Sure, it would be wonderful to see him happy again but with a nice woman who would be a companion and a friend, not someone who wanted him for his money. Still, remembering the clever businessman she’d worked for, she knew that she should have more faith in him.

  ‘I’m on my way out too,’ Mandy was saying. ‘Have a good evening and don’t do anything I’d do.’

  There was no chance of that. ‘Bye, Mandy.’

  Suzie continued to dither over what to wear, finally narrowing it down to two outfits, which she left out on the bed. Nora was in Dublin and had offered to come round and do her hair, so Suzie decided to let her choose.

  When Nora walked into the bedroom, she raised her eyebrows when she saw her selections.

  ‘Let me guess. You bought these when you were on your shopping spree with Mandy.’

  ‘Yeah, why? What’s wrong with them?’

  ‘Honestly?’

  ‘Of course, honestly,’ Suzie snapped. What bloody use was an opinion if it wasn’t an honest one?

  ‘Okay, here goes. You look great, Suzie and you know I love your new hairstyle, but these clothes just don’t suit you. They’re for a young woman, although I’m not even sure either of your daughters would wear them.’

  Suzie looked at the clothes and mentally went through the girls’ wardrobes and realised Nora was right. Jess wore rich but muted colours that suited her colouring, and, though she didn’t have much money, she always looked classy. Sharon was much more adventurous and adored fashion and pretty colours, but she never wore the short skirts or skimpy tops that Mandy had persuaded her to buy.

  Suzie frowned, trying to figure out what was wrong with the two outfits. One was a simple, above-the-knee black dress and she had to hold her breath in order to zip it up. The effects were that her breasts were pushed up, giving her an ample cleavage. The other outfit was tight blue jeans teamed with a blue halter neck that again flattered her breasts and made her look and feel young and sexy. Maybe Nora was just jealous that she was able to wear clothes like this now, but no. She immediately dismissed the thought. Nora was an attractive, confident woman with her own unique style.

  ‘Remember what you were wearing the day we met Douglas?’

  Suzie frowned as she tried to recall. ‘My blue top and trousers?’ It was the only outfit she’d selected herself and Mandy had dismissed it as frumpy.

  ‘It brought out the lovely blue of your eyes and you looked relaxed and comfortable. That’s the Suzie Douglas fell for.’

  Suzie had to grin at the thought of Doug Hamilton falling for Suzie Clarke!

  Luckily, Nora’s attention was still focused on the clothes. ‘Do you think you’re going to look or feel comfortable in either of these outfits?’

  She glanced at her new wardrobe and sighed. Few of them were made with comfort in mind but Mandy said you had to suffer to be beautiful.

  ‘Honestly, Suzie? Dressed like that you just look like an older version of Mandy. But Douglas didn’t ask your sister out: he asked you.’

  ‘I look pathetic trying to pretend I’m younger than I am, don’t I?’

  Nora gave a tactful shrug. ‘You’re gorgeous and sexy and look younger than your years. You have nothing to prove, sweetheart. Just be you.’

  Suzie wondered about Mandy’s motives. Had she deliberately set her up to look like a silly old fool? Yet, she wore this sort of stuff all the time and could carry it off. But then she was ten years younger. ‘I spent a fortune on this lot, Nora,’ she said in disgust. ‘I can hardly dump it all.’

  Nora smiled. ‘Don’t be daft. You don’t have to dump it. All you need to do is mix things up a little. For example, wear the skimpier tops with a cardigan or wrap and longer skirt or trousers. And flat shoes and opaque tights will make the short skirts look a lot classier.’

  ‘And my little black dress? I suppose you want me to put that in the giveaway bag.’

  ‘No way, it’s good fabric and well made. Wear it with flat shoes and a chunky necklace or a colourful scarf and you’ll look great.’

  Suzie looked at her in admiration and smiled. ‘T
hat’s clever. You should go into the styling business.’

  ‘And compete with Mandy?’ Nora said in mock horror. ‘As if I’d dare!’

  ‘Mandy wasn’t thinking about what suited me at all, was she? She was just dressing me in the way she dresses and I went along with it because she always looks so bloody sexy. I’ve always envied her and, once I finally had a figure, I couldn’t wait to show it off.’

  Nora hugged her. ‘That’s understandable, Suzie. And, whatever else she might have got wrong, she made up for it with the hair.’

  Suzie grinned. ‘True.’

  An hour later, her hair and makeup done, Suzie stood in front of the mirror to examine Nora’s choice. It was an old outfit from the back of her wardrobe that Suzie had stopped wearing when she put on weight, but couldn’t bear to give it away. The top was deep-wine in colour and the matching skirt dropped almost to her ankles, but clung to every curve.

  ‘You look lovely.’ Nora gave her an affectionate smile. ‘And the heels really set it off.’

  Suzie nodded. Those shoes had been at the bottom of her wardrobe for years too because she’d bought them in a sale and never had anything to wear them with. They were suede and the colour of toffee and, though she didn’t have a matching handbag, Nora pointed out that her casual, canvas shoulder bag held both colours of her outfit in its bright cheery pattern. She couldn’t stop staring at her own image. Whereas Mandy’s outfits made her look hip and sexy, this outfit made her look classy and elegant. She met Nora’s eyes and smiled. ‘Thanks. I love it.’

  ‘And I bet Douglas will too.’

  Chapter Eighteen

  Douglas stood on the doorstep, smiling. ‘You look smashing.’

  Suzie was glad that Nora had diplomatically left, as, when he opened his arms to her, she almost fell into them, tears in her eyes as he held her close. ‘I can’t believe that it’s really you. That all this time you’ve been Mandy’s boss and I never knew.’

  ‘It’s me, all right.’ He pulled back to smile down into her face. ‘Now, there is a photo exhibition but it will be open until ten. What do you say we go have a bite to eat first and catch up? I want to hear everything about you.’

  ‘Likewise.’ She grinned at him before throwing her arms around him again. ‘It’s so bloody good to see you, Doug.’

  ‘And you, sweetheart.’

  ‘Tell me, when did Doug Hamilton become Douglas Thornton?’ she asked.

  He chuckled. ‘Thornton is my mother’s maiden name and I thought it would look good on a book cover. When I returned to Ireland, I kept using it. I suppose I feel more like Douglas Thornton now. Doug Hamilton is dead and buried.’

  Suzie shivered. ‘Don’t say that.’

  He smiled. ‘I don’t mean it in a negative way. I’m just not that man anymore.’

  ‘Can I still call you Doug?’

  ‘You’d better,’ he grinned.

  They got into the cab he had waiting, and Douglas told the driver to take them into the city centre. His arm around her shoulders, he drew her down side streets and alleys, finally stopping outside a small, plain doorway. ‘It doesn’t look like much but I promise you, the food is amazing.’

  ‘Ah, fuck the food, Doug. I doubt I can even eat. I never thought that I’d lay eyes on you again. I thought you’d gone for good.’

  ‘You don’t get rid of me that easily and, trust me, you will eat,’ he said and led her inside.

  ‘You see?’ Doug gestured at her empty plate.

  Suzie laughed and licked her fingers for good measure. ‘This reminds me of us eating beans on toast in my flat.’

  He smiled. ‘They were happy days. How long has it been?’

  Suzie hesitated as she met his eyes. ‘Twenty-four years.’

  ‘Of course. Stupid of me.’ Pulling himself together, he gave her a rueful smile. ‘How on earth did you cope living over our garage?’

  ‘Are you kidding me? That place was a palace compared to our house. I’d so much space and privacy and I felt safe.’

  He grimaced. ‘Is your dad still alive?’

  ‘No, he died years ago but was a bastard to the end. Happily my mother survived him by six years, so she had some peace.’

  ‘She stuck with him?’ His eyes widened in disbelief.

  ‘Of course, even though I asked her to move in with us. Marie, remember my other sister?’

  He nodded.

  ‘She lives in Canada with her family and she wanted mam to go and live with her but she wouldn’t. Still, Da didn’t lay a finger on her in recent years. I warned him, if he did, I’d have him in prison even if I had to lie through my teeth to put him there.’

  ‘You were so tough and feisty. I always admired that.’

  Suzie threw back her head and laughed. ‘Feck off, Doug. When you first saw the state of me and heard I was pregnant you didn’t want to hire me.’

  ‘Admittedly, I may have had my doubts.’

  ‘Not as much as your wife,’ Suzie muttered, and then clapped a hand over her mouth. ‘Aw, shit, sorry, Doug. I didn’t mean that.’

  He chuckled. ‘You did and you’re right. Pamela was a dreadful snob but you weren’t exactly friendly either. At the start you were so prickly and it was bloody impossible to get a smile out of you. But once we saw how talented you were and that you weren’t afraid of hard work, we realised that Gina had found a gem.’

  ‘Ah, Gina.’ Suzie smiled, remembering her first boss who soon became a great friend.

  ‘Are you still in touch with her?’

  ‘No,’ she admitted with a guilty sigh. ‘My husband, John, was from Limerick and his work and family were there, so I moved when we married and lost touch with all of the CML gang.’

  ‘Did you have more children?’

  Suzie nodded, smiling. ‘Two, a girl, Sharon, and a boy, Noel.’

  ‘Were you happy?’ he asked.

  She wasn’t sure how to answer that. Thanks to her brain injury there were some hazy bits about the problems in her marriage but she knew there were some. ‘Reasonably,’ she said finally. ‘When Sharon and Noel came along with their pale skin and freckles and looking nothing like Jess, there were whispers. And, though John stood by her to the end, he wasn’t as close to her as he was to his own children. Still, I’m sure I’m the only one who noticed.’

  ‘She was such a sweet child,’ Doug said with a sad smile. ‘How could anyone not love her?’

  Suzie shrugged. ‘In fairness, at the beginning he was wonderful and I think he believed that he’d be able to treat her as his own but, I suppose, human nature kicked in.’

  ‘Did Jess ever ask about her real dad?’

  Suzie looked at him with guilty eyes. ‘Jess thinks John is her dad, that’s the way he wanted it.’

  ‘But all your friends and family knew,’ he said, confused.

  ‘Mine did, yes. I explained what we had decided and then we moved to Limerick to start afresh. Given John hadn’t ever had another girlfriend and travelled a lot, it was easy to convince his friends and family that Jess was his. We concocted a story that we’d dated a few months and then broke up and, when he came back to ask me to marry him, he discovered he was a dad.’

  ‘And they swallowed that?’ He looked astounded.

  She chuckled. ‘I’m sure some had their doubts but they didn’t dare say it to his face. Besides, as I said, he was great with Jess back then.’

  ‘That’s quite a story. You never thought of telling her over the years?’

  ‘I promised John I wouldn’t.’

  ‘But since his death . . .’

  ‘A promise is a promise, Doug.’ It struck her then that she didn’t owe John such loyalty but she wasn’t sure why not.

  ‘What about your obligation to Jess?’ Doug persisted.

  Suzie bristled. ‘I’ve always done right by Jess,’ she snapped. ‘What would be the point in telling her now?’

  ‘She would understand why John treated her differently.’ Just like in the old days, he wasn’t
remotely put out by her tone, fixing her with his calm gaze.

  ‘Leave it, Doug.’

  He gave a resigned nod and topped up her glass. ‘How did John die?’

  ‘He was in charge of purchasing for a food-processing plant and he was visiting the farm of one of his suppliers and got caught between two pieces of machinery. He was only thirty-eight, Noel was just nine.’

  ‘Dear God, that’s horrific, I’m so sorry.’

  ‘You have no idea,’ she assured him with a sigh. ‘But I had to keep going for the kids’ sake.’

  ‘Amanda told me that he was the love of your life and that you haven’t dated since.’

  Susie smirked. ‘Did she, now?’

  ‘It’s not true?’

  ‘No, it is. I loved John but, I’ll be honest, marrying him meant not only security but a dad for Jess.’

  ‘That doesn’t sound very romantic,’ he said, looking disappointed.

  Suzie chuckled. ‘I don’t suppose it does but, truly, we were happy and John was the perfect family man.’

  Doug looked at her with sad eyes. ‘I’m sorry you lost him so young and I’m even sorrier that you’ve found no partner since.’

  ‘And neither have you?’ Suzie studied him.

  He shook his head. ‘Pamela was irreplaceable.’

  ‘And yet you were still unfaithful.’ She sighed and put her hand over his. ‘I’m sorry. That was out of order.’

  He shrugged. ‘It’s true.’

  ‘There were issues on both sides in your marriage and, in the end, Pamela was happy,’ she reminded him. ‘So very happy, Doug.’

  ‘I was, too, more than I’d ever been. Life is fucking cruel.’

  ‘Shite,’ Suzie agreed, remembering the dark days when they’d watched the cancer consume Pamela and how distraught Doug had been when she died. ‘When you disappeared like that we were worried sick about you.’