The Red Zone

by Knight, Amie

  The man had insulted me. And almost choked me, but I just rolled my eyes while I put my window up and pulled out of the parking lot. Mason Stark seemed like he was looney as a bedbug, but no one else was beating down my door to have dinner with me and Ella. I’d just have to take what I could get. And right now all I had was a deranged linebacker.

  Lukas: I was wondering if you wanted to come over sometime.

  Oh, dear Lord, but I couldn’t deal with him right now. Why was he texting me? I couldn’t handle it. Not on top of everything else. It was the third Friday of the month and on the third Friday of the month me and my part-time teacher’s assistant, Jessi, took the kids on an outing. CBI trips were what the grown folks called Community Based Instruction. It was supposed to help my kiddos navigate real world situations in the community. We taught them to shop for groceries, to go bowling and rent their own shoes. Hell, one time I thought it was a brilliant idea to do a camping trip, but that’s a horror story for another day.

  So, while Luk clearly had enough time in his day to shoot off a text, I was in the throes of a chaotic Walmart shopping trip, complete with one child taking off on a handicap cart. Those things were faster than I ever thought they could go. And another kid had disappeared. He’d been hiding amongst the paper towels. Who knew there was so much room down there? Kids did, that’s who.

  We were frantically making our way to the cash register and I was only sweating a bit when I got the text I’d been expecting for days. Everyone was paying for their items and I was in Walmart hell. That hell consisted of an impatient cashier who rolled her eyes as I helped each child. When I finally got everyone settled, my quiet guy Nathan asked to go to the bathroom. I couldn’t let him go into the men’s room alone. Nathan was a child with autism who had just recently become verbal. The mere fact he’d asked me to go to the restroom and not wandered off to find one like he had in the past was miles from where we were at the beginning of the school year.

  Another text popped up.

  Lukas: To discuss Ella, of course.

  I rolled my eyes because he’d already missed two meetings to discuss Ella. I left Jess in charge of the rest of the kiddos checking out while I took Nathan to the restroom, full of questions. Did he really want to discuss Ella? Did he want to catch up on old times? I only had an obligation to meet with him about Ella. I didn’t think rehashing the past was anything we needed to be doing.

  We stepped into the ladies’ room with me deep in thought, so I almost missed the older lady right on the inside. She stopped us with a hand to Nathan’s shoulder. I wanted to thump her knuckles. My boy didn’t enjoy being touched by strangers.

  “Oh, sweet boy,” she cooed. “You’re far too mature and handsome to be using this bathroom.”

  I had a million words on the tip of my tongue and none of them were kind or nice or words I would use in front of my kids, but lucky for me I didn’t have to.

  Nathan shrugged her hand off and looked her dead in the face. “Yes, I am. I am very handsome.” His pointer finger came out and pointed at her face. “You are old. With saggy skin and hair on your lip. You are not handsome.”

  I slapped my hand over my mouth to cover my smile as the lady gave me a scowl and pushed past us to exit the bathroom. As soon as she was gone, I pulled Nathan in for a big hug.

  Even though what he said hadn’t been what someone would call polite, it wasn’t a lie and furthermore he’d spoken to someone he didn’t know. I was beyond proud.

  “Good job using your words, buddy!”

  He didn’t hug me back, but I was used to this with my kids. I didn’t take it personally. I stood at the front of the bathroom while he went and did his business. It gave me a chance to respond to Luk’s text even if I didn’t want to.

  Me: If you’d like to discuss Ella, I’d be happy to schedule an appointment with you at the school, Mr. Callihan.

  There, I kept it strictly professional when in reality I wanted to keep it strictly dickly. I was doing well. I would’ve given myself a pat on the back if Nathan hadn’t been watching me while he was washing his hands.

  We made our way back to the register just in time for the last kiddo to be rung up. Sweet Ella was up and I grabbed my hair products out of the bottom of the buggy and set them on the conveyer belt.

  She turned to me, hand out. I was no fool when it came to her, so I handed her a twenty so she could pay for me. I watched, making sure she handed the money over. She didn’t say thank you, but the more you pressed her, the more stubborn she became, so I said nothing when the cashier handed her the change back. I’d talk to her about it later.

  She handed me back the dollar bills before throwing my loose change in the bottom of her pink purse. Girl, take all my pennies! I’d have put up a fight if I had any left in me, but at that point, I was ready to wave the white flag. They’d won. I’d been defeated.

  My phone pinged and I looked at the screen as we made our way out of the store.

  Lukas: What if I wanted to discuss you?

  Another text popped through quickly after.

  Lukas: You’re cute, trying to keep things professional between us, Red. But I really, really like it when you call me Mr. Callihan.

  Well, if I wasn’t frazzled before I was now. What did that mean? Like, was he being serious?

  Another text.

  Lukas: Like I really like it. ;)

  I looked around, thinking the man was spying on me. And the winky face. What the heck did that mean? Was he flirting with me? Or was he kidding around and wanted to hang out as friends? And why hadn’t I had a serious boyfriend so I would know what the hell was going on? My face got hot in anger and excitement and I decided to chuck my phone in my bag and forget about it until I got the kids back to the school and to their parents. And that’s when I realized Luk would be picking Ella up. I was only slightly panicking as I drove the kids back to the school. Lucky for me, all of the Walmart shenanigans had worn their behinds out.

  When we arrived at the school, most of the other children had already been dismissed, so I wasn’t surprised at all when I saw Luk standing out front in the carpool circle. I parked the van and helped unload the children and didn’t give him the time of day. Well, my eyes didn’t. My mind was fully on him, which was why when I stepped out of the van, I missed the last step and almost went down like a ton of bricks. Luckily I caught myself with the door handle.

  I shook my head at myself. Because I was a damn mess around Luk. Part of me loved the giddy feeling he gave me even after all these years. The other part loathed the clumsy prepubescent inner me. She was a damn fool and I was over her fumbling ass.

  I tried to walk past him like I didn’t see him, but you know he wasn’t down for that. Not even a little bit.

  “Not even a hello, Red?” he questioned and all the kids paused. A few parents milling around waiting on their kids noticed, too, and I clenched my teeth so I didn’t snap at him.

  I didn’t like being embarrassed at my place of work. I took my job seriously. These kids meant the absolute world to me. I didn’t need their parents talking about me and Luk. I didn’t need the inevitable rumors that would come from one nonchalant comment. I was not dumb. I’d seen many a teacher taken down by one silly rumor.

  So, I corrected him sharply. “Ms. Knox,” I snapped.

  He hummed low so only I could hear as I walked by him. “I really like that, too.”

  I swung my gaze to him and narrowed my eyes before heading into the school with most of the parents tagging along behind me. His ridiculous flirtations were unnerving and not proper at all.

  I quickly handed off the children and backpacks while Jess assisted. Eventually the only people left were me, Jess, and my old friends, the Callihans.

  It was perfect timing to get things off my chest. I smiled softly at Jess. “Do you think you could take Ella outside for a bit? Mr. Callihan wanted to discuss some things with me.”

  She nodded. “Ella, wanna hit up the teachers’ lounge and see
if they have any good snacks?”

  I’d never known Ella to turn down food, so when she took off with Jess, I wasn’t the least bit surprised.

  As soon as I knew they were out of earshot, I turned to Luk, who’d made himself comfortable in my seat again. “What are you doing, Luk?”

  He grinned his boyish grin and my heart did a stupid thump thump. “Having a seat. Practice today kicked my ass.”

  I shook my head. “No, what are you doing with the texts?”

  He stood up slowly and gave a long, languid stretch that caused his black T-shirt to ride up so I caught a glimpse of his gorgeous hard stomach. My mouth went dry.

  He dropped his arms and shrugged. “What’s the big deal? I thought we were friends.”

  I nodded. “We were friends. Ten years ago. Now, I’m Ella’s teacher and you are her guardian. Unless you have something to talk to me concerning Ella, it’s completely out of line for you to text me or call me.”

  There, I said it. I laid it all out there.

  He quirked a thick eyebrow at me. “So, we’re not friends anymore?”

  Pursing my lips, I answered, “Luk, we haven’t spoken in ten years.”

  He nodded and his eyes lit with understanding, but it was completely wrong.

  “You’re mad.”

  I took a step back. “What?”

  “You’re mad about how things ended between us. I don’t blame you.”

  I wasn’t mad. Was I? That was ten years ago. Sure, I’d been mad then, but I definitely wasn’t mad now. I was smarter and less naïve and completely ready to deny. “This has nothing to do with ten years ago, Luk. And everything to do with the fact I’m Ella’s teacher.”

  He nodded again. “Fine. I get it.”

  I almost felt bad. But then I remembered how much this job meant to me. And my heart. I remembered how I was saving it for someone who deserved it. Someone who would earn it. But still I couldn’t help myself. I was always a sucker for those baby browns. “But if you need anything at all, Luk, I’m here. I adore Ella and I’m always here to help.”

  He gave me a pathetic smile as he backed out of the room. “I appreciate that, Red, eh, Ms. Knox,” he corrected himself as he diverted his eyes.

  The fourteen-year-old me wanted to chase him out of that room and beg him to be friends with me again. Anything. Because those months had been the best. Luk had been the best. Until he hadn’t.

  Mason had just left. It turned out he must have had as many friends as me because he came over to have dinner with me and Ella for the past four nights. She’d instantly taken to him much to my chagrin. I got it. He was a giant, easy on the eyes football player. But the girl was practically eating out of his hands. She even talked to him when she wouldn’t talk to me. And Mason ate that shit up and made sure to give me a cocky grin. It pissed me off to admit it, but he was a good guy. I’d immediately known when he’d taken one look at Ella and given her the biggest hug and told her how beautiful she was. She’d blushed and he’d sat down on the couch and asked her to watch TV with him while I prepared dinner. And it was a wrap. That’s how Ella and Mason’s friendship was born. Over old episodes of General Hospital and subpar meals cooked by me. After dinner she always asked him to come back and he hadn’t let her down yet. Damn him. He was so fucking likable even after he’d almost killed me in the parking lot. I had no idea how he pulled it off.

  He’d left tonight and Ella had disappeared and I decided that something wasn’t right. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. Ella had been strangely quiet and hidden in the bathroom most of the evening. I’d knocked twice to only be told very forcefully that she’d be out soon. Well, soon was like an hour ago and I was starting to get worried.

  Instead of being the overbearing parent figure I knew she didn’t want, I paced outside the bathroom door like a lunatic.

  When she finally deemed it time to grace me with her presence, I was terrified that something was wrong. Two hours in a bath seemed like a ridiculous amount of time even for Ella, who loved her baths and bath bombs and lotions.

  I scratched at the back of my head, playing it cool like I hadn’t been a nervous wreck for the last hour. “What’s up, Ells? How was your bath?”

  Her shoulders shrugged beneath her silk pink robe. “It was fine.”

  I followed her to her room. “What took so long? Was something wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I need my privacy.”

  That was code for get the hell out of her room, so I left quickly before she decided to start changing in front of me, which she would. Ella didn’t have a problem with being shy like the rest of the world. She merely issued her ‘I need privacy’ warning for others, not herself. She could be naked as a jaybird in a room full of a hundred people and not give it a second thought.

  I walked into the hallway and past the bathroom before backing up and deciding to go in and check to make sure everything was indeed okay. She had been in there for what seemed like forever.

  Immediately upon entering, I realized what a horrible, horrible mistake I’d made. I saw the razor. I saw the hair. And still I felt like maybe I wasn’t seeing it right. So. Much. Hair.

  No, she wouldn’t have done that, would she? She was still so young. She wouldn’t have shaved down there. She must have done her legs, but her legs weren’t that hairy. I’d seen them just this morning and there was no way in hell they’d been that hairy. I would have noticed, but all the hair that was stuck to the side of the tub and on the floor told a different story. And it wasn’t a story that she’d given herself a haircut. Not the hair on her head at least.

  I was horrified, disgusted, and most of all I didn’t know what the hell to do. This was one of the many reasons that Ella needed a mother. She was a teenage girl and I was a big, doofy, jock football player brother. Not a damn woman.

  I walked out of the bathroom, my hands over my eyes like I could somehow block out what I’d just seen, but even with my palms placed firmly over my eyes, I could still see it. The dark, curly hairs everywhere.

  Fuck. This was awful. What did I do? What did I say? Jesus, was she a mess down there? Who the fuck told her this was a good idea? My questions were endless and I had not one answer.

  After pacing the floor for what felt like the millionth time tonight, I decided I could be an adult about this. Not the teenage boy I wanted to be. I could calmly walk into Ella’s room and ask her about it. We could talk rationally because I had to make sure I never walked into another clusterfuck like that again. I felt like I was scarred for life.

  I was pulling my hair out of my head with one hand as I knocked on the door with the other. “Can I come in? You decent?”

  “Yeah,” Ella answered and I was thankful for that. Because when she felt like it sometimes she would just straight up ignore my ass.

  I slipped into the room and noticed she had on a long pink nightgown. For fuck’s sake, she was dressed like a damn seven-year-old and I was pretty sure she’d just shaved her pubes. How the hell was this my life?

  I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths before I could speak on this.

  “You meditation?”

  My eyes flew open. “What?”

  “You meditation? That’s what Ms. Lettie does when we misbehave. She does meditation.”

  I felt myself fight off a smile even though I was in a straight up state of panic. “Meditating,” I corrected her. “And yes. I was meditating.”

  “Why?”

  Holy shit. Would she think I was mad at her about the hair thing? I mean, I wasn’t exactly pleased about it, but I wasn’t mad. I just didn’t know what to do or why or how I should talk about it with her.

  “You know what? I’ll come back later.” And I fled the room and closed the door behind me like the complete pussy I was.

  I had no idea what to do and before I could even register what I was doing, I was texting Scarlett and begging her to come save me.

  Me: I have an emergency with Ella. Can you pleas
e come to the house now?

  I shouldn’t have messaged her. It was clear from our last encounter that she wasn’t interested in anything with me, even a friendship. She wanted to keep things platonic between us and while I thought that sucked because I could really use a friend and maybe something more, I was trying my damnedest to respect her wishes. Scarlett must have still been the nicest person on the damn planet because it may have been nine at night, but she responded right away.

  Red: Of course. On my way.

  I spent the next fifteen minutes hoping and praying that Ella didn’t come out of her room and that she did her usual lotions and deep hair conditioning. I couldn’t face her yet. This whole thing was beyond embarrassing and awkward more than I could ever imagine.

  I never in all my life thought I would have to deal with something like this and then I wondered if she had done this before. Maybe my mother had already talked to her about it?

  But then, wouldn’t she have told her to clean the damn hair up? Oh, God. The hair. Every time I thought about it, I gagged a little and then felt terrible about gagging.

  When the doorbell rang, I dashed to it, relief coursing through me. Scarlett would know what to do. She probably dealt with embarrassing shit like this all the time being a special education teacher.

  I wrenched the door open quickly. “Hey, Scarlett, come on in.” I moved the hell out of the way because I needed her to get her ass in here so she could make this better and save the damn day.

  “Is your emergency that all of your clothing was burned in a fire?”

  My eyebrows pinched together. “What?” I shook my head confused. “No.”

  She did a slow perusal of my bare chest all the way down to my basketball shorts. “Then where the hell are your clothes?”

  I looked down at myself, thinking I looked completely presentable, nothing you wouldn’t see a million guys wearing at the pool during the summer. “What are you talking about?”