by E. R. Wade
I’m lying down panting looking up at his beautiful face. I love him so much. I don’t ever want to know what my life would be like without him. I’ve always been self-reliant, or maybe the correct word would be self-contained, and the only person I’ve let come close to me is Skylar. With Julian, I feel like a part of a whole – no longer self-contained or self-reliant – and he’s the other part. I need him, much more than he realizes. I never, ever want to be without him.
“I want to lose myself in you,” he murmurs in my ear, as I come back down to earth.
His lips gently touch mine in the briefest of kisses, and his blue eyes connect with mine. Words are unnecessary as our eyes reflect our deep emotions. He kisses me again, this time with more passion.
Julian makes love to me slowly and tenderly, and full of reverence. Losing control of my breathing, my body trembles as he drives me towards another wondrous orgasm.
We lie languorous and content in each other’s arms. I’m so happy he’s here. We’ve been spending a lot of time together and I’m now used to being with him. I miss him whenever we’re apart.
He unknowingly answers the question at the back of my mind. “Larry called when I was with Liz and Jeff. The divorce has been approved by the judge, and will be final in four months.”
That’s good news. It’s what he’s wanted for a long time. “You’re happy?” I ask him softly. I know he hated being stuck in limbo regarding his marriage.
“What do you think?” he responds, smiling at me. He does look happy.
His lips brush my temple.
“I love you. I love your smile. I love how warm and caring you are. I love that you had enough faith in us to take a chance on me. I love how open, honest and expressive you are.” His lips softly brush mine, and I feel like I’m melting at the tender caress of his lips. “I love how incredibly soft you are. I love your scent. I love the way you moan when I touch you. I love how perfect you feel when I’m inside you. I love how confident and poised you are with everyone but me.”
What? His last comment snaps me out of my love-filled haze. I nudge his arm in protest at his embarrassing but accurate statement.
“Hey!”
“You know it’s true. When I see you with anyone else, you’re always so calm and confident. But with me, you’re soft and flustered.”
I can’t help but laugh even as I know my cheeks have turned pink. “Julian, that’s not true.”
“Of course it is. I’m that way with you too. I could spend the rest of our lives telling you all the things I love about you but it wouldn’t be enough. I’ll need more time,” he says. “Move in with me.”
“Really?” My insides turn to mush. I’m usually the type who likes to take her time to think things through before making a decision, but I don’t need to think about this. I know what my answer is. I want to be with him. Always. “Yes. Yes, of course I will,” I say unsteadily, feeling absolutely ecstatic.
Julian’s eyes light up with happiness. “I love you so much, Sofia. I’ve waited long enough for us to be together, and I don’t want to wait any longer.”
“I don’t want to wait too. I love you, baby.” Julian is my lover, my inspiration and my passion. I pull him to me and kiss him with so much love and happiness, knowing that I am undeniably his and he is mine.
EPILOGUE
Sofia - Five years later
Eight months after we moved in together, Julian and I got married on a beautiful afternoon in Turks and Caicos surrounded by our family and friends. I’ll never forget the day he proposed to me. We were in London – the first stop in our European adventure – on our first vacation together. I had wanted to see The Shard for a long time, and Julian had hired a room at the very top of the skyscraper just for the two of us. The room, decorated with my favorite flowers – white roses, had breath-taking panoramic views of the city, and we watched the spectacular early sunset. I don’t think I’ve ever cried as much as I did when he got down on one knee holding the most beautiful engagement ring I have ever seen. Of course I said yes. Julian is the love of my life, my soul mate, my everything.
After we came back from our vacation, we found a house we both loved and remodeled it. We worked on the design together, and I am so happy that we created our dream house right on time to move in before the wedding.
Our wedding took place six months after he proposed. We both couldn’t wait – Julian was eager to make me his officially and permanently, and I was eager and excited to be his wife and really start our life together. Although we had already been living together, this felt like a new beginning. Wes, who gets along famously with Julian, walked me down the aisle.
That morning, I gave Julian a Patek Philippe wristwatch engraved with his initials and our wedding date, and a handwritten letter telling him how much I love him. He loved my gifts. Julian gave me a stake in Scott Design as a wedding gift. I wasn’t expecting it. He took me completely by surprise, and it’s safe to say I got a little too emotional. It took him months to stop teasing me about my reaction.
Five months later, I gave birth to our first child after a grueling fifteen hours in labor. I’d happily go through that a hundred times over just for our little girl. She’s so beautiful. She’s been daddy’s girl since the moment she came into our lives.
And right now, I’m trying to tidy up the house before getting ready to spend the day with my family.
“Sweetheart, could you please help Daisy with her coloring books?” I call out, hoping Julian will hear me from the floor above.
Our living room is scattered with lots of coloring books and paint splattered all over the floor. Daisy, our overactive four-year old daughter, insisted on staying in the living room despite me and Julian trying to coax her to stay in the family room or playroom upstairs. She said she wanted to stay downstairs with me.
She’s independent and strong-willed. She’s definitely turning out to be her father’s daughter, which is just as well since she’s got him wrapped around her little finger.
“Mommy, I don’t need any help.” She doesn’t bother to look up from her painting.
“Daddy’s going to help you put it all together so that you can continue when we come back from the zoo.” We plan to spend the afternoon at the zoo with Julian’s parents and Liz, Jeff and their two sons. I need to give our soon-to-be two-year old son, Liam, a bath and get him ready to go out.
“Are there going to be zebras?” She lifts her blue eyes which is so like her father’s up at me immediately.
Daisy has been obsessed with zebras for the past week since she watched a cartoon with zebras that made her giggle all through. She’s watched it every day.
“Of course, darling. And Grandma and Grandpa are going to meet us there.”
“Gramma!” she says excitedly. Her grandparents spoil her and she loves it. Her cousins, Zach and Nate, will be there too, and though they are both older than her, they are pretty close. Daisy likes to prove to them that she can do whatever they can. This gives me and her father some concern. Keeping up with two high-spirited boys is no mean feat.
“Hey, baby.” Julian walks in with a smile on his face and carrying a sleepy Liam in his arms. His usually impeccably styled hair has obviously been mussed by our son. I want to run my fingers through it. Julian is as devastatingly handsome as ever. Whenever he walks into a room, he brings with him a certain energy which pulls me in. And his voice . . . his voice still does things to me, things I can’t say in front of the kids.
“You took care of him,” I point out gratefully. Liam is a miniature version of his father with his dark blond hair and facial features. His eyes are a unique shade of bluish-green.
“Yes, I did and we had a blast. Didn’t we, Liam?” he asks, kissing his hair.
“Daddy,” Daisy squeals. Her coloring books are abandoned as she practically runs to him and grabs his leg. She wants his attention.
“Hey, princess. Ready to pack up your books, crayons and watercolors?” He brushes a hand over h
er soft auburn hair which is so like mine. Julian loves that she has the same hair color as me. He loves that she looks a lot like me and has his eyes.
“Yes, Daddy.” Daisy lets go of his leg and packs up everything on the floor very quickly knowing that’s the fastest way to get her father’s attention. “Done.” Of course there are splotches of paint to clean up which she has completely ignored.
“Good girl. Come on, let’s get you ready to see the zebras.” He makes to lower Liam but Liam is not willing to let him go.
“No, Daddy,” he cries.
“Liam, Mommy’s here. You were asking for her all through your bath. Why don’t you keep her company? You can tell her all about Kalle.” Kalle is Skylar’s puppy who he was enthralled by yesterday at Skylar’s house when we went for a visit. Now he wants a puppy too.
Julian’s words get through to him and he stops crying, turning his face to find me. Once he sees me, he scrambles down Julian and makes his way to me. I scoop him up and hold him close, inhaling his sweet, fresh scent.
“Mommy,” he says, planting a loud, wet kiss on my cheek.
“I missed you,” I tell him, kissing him noisily on his face which makes him laugh.
“Daddy wants kisses too.” I hear my husband murmur from beside me. I didn’t see him move to my side. I look up at his handsome face, and I instinctively turn my face up to him. He kisses me lightly, and then with more passion, deepening the kiss.
“Mummy, I want a kiss too.” Daisy’s voice filters through and we break apart. My cheeks are flushed pink, and I know the hunger in Julian’s eyes is reflected in mine.
“We’re definitely putting the kids to bed early tonight,” he murmurs before letting me go. Shivers of anticipation run through me. I quickly remind myself that our children are here. Getting a hold of myself, I turn to my beautiful daughter.
“Of course, darling.” Bending down, I kiss her noisily on her face resulting in delighted giggles.
My family. I love them more than I can ever describe. They are my greatest joy. Julian has given me this. And I know that together, we will always be blissfully happy.
THE END
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Read on for an excerpt from Lie With Me (Addison and Sean’s story).
Excerpt: Lie With Me
Coming summer 2017
(This story is unedited, and is subject to change.)
Sean Connors
I fell in love with my best friend’s girl, Addison Walker, and left behind a trail of devastation. I broke all the rules for love and I lost everything. I lost her, and I have no one to blame but myself. Her memory haunts me every single day. Three years after the last time I held her in my arms, I see her in Los Angeles. Is this fate giving us a second chance at love or an opportunity to say goodbye forever?
Addison Walker
I’ve been working hard to slowly put back the pieces of my broken life. I never thought I’d see him again. Sean Connors. He’s the one person who could make me sin. And we sinned . . . Until I lost myself and he wasn’t there. Now he’s standing in front of me like he’s just seen a ghost, and all I can do is stare at the man who made me fall in love with him and burn with passion in his arms.
Will Sean and Addison find redemption, and correct the mistakes of their past? Or will they find out that the cost of being together is too high a price to pay?
Sean
“You want to tell me what’s going on?” Erica gently asks.
“No,” I say, staring unseeingly out the window as our chauffeur takes us home.
“Sean, you can tell me.” I don’t answer her. I think I may still be in a bit of shock. Addison is alive. I’ve spent the past three years mourning her, feeling like a huge part of me has been destroyed. But she’s here in Los Angeles, alive and healthy. How did I not know this? Three years wasted. Fuck! I want to hold her in my arms so badly. Watching her leave with Elle was painful. Erica’s voice cuts through my tortured thoughts. “You could benefit from a woman’s perspective.”
That gets my attention. I finally turn to her. Unsure of what to say, I stay silent. Even though the interior of the car is dimly illuminated by the street lamps, Erica sees the emotions showing on my face. She covers my hand with hers, squeezing gently – a gesture of comfort. Although I don’t react negatively to Erica’s touch anymore and I’m usually okay with her hand on mine, it makes me uncomfortable tonight. She’s the only woman who is allowed to touch me, platonically of course. Three years ago, I froze whenever I felt her hand on me. With time, I learnt to accept it and sometimes when we are outside our home, I hold her hand or put my arm on her waist. Now, I want to pull my hand away but I force myself to stay still. I don’t want Erica to feel rejected and also, I don’t want her to know just how much seeing Addison is affecting me.
“Sean? What’s going on? Is Addison the reason you and Julian aren’t friends?”
Julian Scott. I never let myself think about him. If I do, the guilt would cripple me.
Clearing the lump in my throat, I say truthfully, “Yeah.”
“What happened between you and her?” she asks patiently.
“We were seeing each other,” I confess. There’s no hint of surprise or judgment on her face. I guess I made it obvious that there was an intimate relationship between me and Addie with the way I was acting earlier.
“I thought you were in love with the artist you were seeing back then. What was her name?”
“Savannah,” I say. I cringe inwardly, remembering the last time I saw Savannah. That was the night we broke up. I went to her apartment and told her that I couldn’t give her what she wanted. She cried for so long. She told me what she wanted was me. I felt terrible for a long time. I wanted to love her. I wished so hard for it. I kept away from Addison, and I focused solely on her. I gave the relationship everything I had for over two years except the one thing it needed, and it wasn’t for lack of trying on my part. Savannah was beautiful, kind and smart. If not for Addison, I know that she would have been it for me. She would have been the perfect woman for me. But every other woman paled in comparison to Addie. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get over her.
“No. I was in love with Addie.” There’s no change in her expression. “You don’t look surprised.”
“I’m not. I saw the way you were looking at her tonight,” she says quietly. “If you were seeing her, then you must have really loved her. I know what Julian means to you.”
“So, no judgment?”
She shrugs delicately, “I’m not exactly in a position to pass judgment. Besides, it’s in the past.”
“I love her, Erica. I’ve loved her for nine years. I’m never going to love anyone else.” Now, she’s surprised.
“Wow. You were together for nine years?”
Shaking my head, I say “No. She didn’t know how I felt until later. No one knew. We spent less than a year together.” It was the best fucking year of my life.
“Why haven’t you spoken to her since she got out of hospital?”
Laughing bitterly at her question, I manage to force out a response, ignoring the tight feeling in my chest. “I didn’t know she was in hospital.”
“What do you mean you didn’t know?” There’s a note of surprise in Erica’s voice.
“I thought she was dead.” Along with a huge part of me.
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