Perfectly Able

by Suzannah Daniels

  I frowned. “No, dammit. Why would you think that?” She pulled her shirt over her head, and I gathered her hair and pulled it out, cascading it down her back.

  “I don’t know,” she whispered, studying me.

  I buttoned my shirt. “I need to go, Ava.”

  “What’s wrong, Ridge?”

  I could feel the muscle in my jaw clenching. How could I explain to make her understand? I’d slept with my share of women, but Ava had a sweetness about her that I couldn’t take advantage of. Life had put her through so much already, and I didn’t want to add to the list of things that could potentially turn her gentle kindness into rancid bitterness, a bitterness that would consume her. I knew that bitterness all too well, and I escaped it the only way I knew how.

  “I’ve got to go.”

  I could feel her confused stare on my back as I made a quick exit.

  ***

  “What the hell did you do to Ava?” Kel screamed through the phone as I turned to see the time broadcasted by the glowing red LEDs on my alarm clock. Six o’clock in the morning. I’d overslept. Pulling myself into a seated position, my sleep-fogged brain tried to determine if I still had time to go running. I needed to focus on my training, and the alcohol I’d consumed after I’d gotten home last night was not in my training plan.

  “What are you doing up?” I mumbled sleepily.

  “What’s wrong, Ridge?” Kel asked, and I could determine a distinct change in her voice. “Ridge?”

  “What makes you think something’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Because I know you. You don’t treat women rudely, and you’re always wide awake by six o’clock.”

  “That’s not true. I do sleep in sometimes,” I defended.

  “Not unless it’s the weekend.”

  I had no argument there.

  “London texted me at about two o’clock this morning and told me that Ava was upset. Apparently, you stormed out of Ava’s apartment, and she doesn’t know why.”

  “I didn’t storm out, Kel. I just had to get out of there.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “And why in the hell am I even having this conversation with you? It’s none of your business.”

  “It is my business, Ridge. London’s my friend, and she and Ava are super close. I convinced London that you were a fabtastic guy and that you would be perfect for her sister.”

  I pointed, even though I knew she couldn’t see me. “You see, Kel, that’s where you went wrong. You had no business getting in my business. Or Ava’s business, for that matter.”

  “But Ava needs someone like you, Ridge.” Her voice had lost its edge, and her next words were spoken even more softly. “And you need someone like her.”

  “I don’t need anyone, Kel. Are we done now? Because I really need to go running.”

  “Ridge….” I could hear the pleading in her voice.

  “No, Kel.”

  “I know you better than anyone. She’s perfect for you.”

  “I’ve got to go, Kel.” I didn’t wait for her to respond. I just hung up my phone and turned it off.

  I didn’t want to think about anything. I just wanted to immerse myself in running, hoping that if I pushed hard enough, the physical pain would block everything from my mind.

  I had planned to get to the office early, but since I’d overslept by an hour, I arrived at eight o’clock sharp. I would be working out in the field today, so I’d traded my suit for khakis and a pullover shirt.

  I welcomed the roar of the manufacturing equipment as the operators set it into motion. As my fellow engineers and I worked to troubleshoot the errors in the process, I blocked all thoughts of my personal life out of my mind.

  Being extremely busy all morning helped keep my thoughts under control. We shut down the machine to take a lunch break, and I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. I turned it on and checked my messages, wondering if Ava had tried to contact me about my offer. Knowing that my abrupt departure last night had bothered her, I worried about our next conversation being awkward. I had two text messages from Kelsey, which I didn’t bother reading, and one from Ava. Apparently, the sellers had made a counter offer.

  “Ridge, let’s have lunch.”

  I turned to see my new boss walking toward me in a navy suit, his dark hair slicked back, and I wondered why he had come out to the job site.

  As he approached me, I held my hand out. “Sure, Mr. Tankard.” He wasn’t much older than me, but when he first started at Creekview Engineering Consultants a couple of months ago, he’d introduced himself as Mr. Tankard. I’d assumed that’s how he wanted to be addressed.

  “Great. I have something to discuss with you.”

  My head pounded from imbibing too much alcohol the previous evening and listening to the deafening roar of the machine all morning. I’d wanted to spend the hour alone, but I really had no choice in the matter. At the very least, I hoped that eating a meal would help vanquish the demons that were walloping my brain with sledge hammers.

  Mr. Tankard and I walked toward the exit doors. “I’ll drive,” he said.

  While we were on our way to the restaurant, I explained to Mr. Tankard that I needed to check in with my real estate agent, so I called Ava. She wanted to discuss the counter offer and agreed to swing by the restaurant. After I’d hung up, I told Mr. Tankard that I may need a few minutes to sign a counter offer, and he assured me that it wouldn’t be a problem.

  I thought Ava would arrive by the time Mr. Tankard and I had received our food, but she hadn’t. I tried to watch for her while I listened to my boss.

  “You’re aware from our meeting a couple of weeks ago that Creekview Engineering Consultants is growing.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I want to rearrange our current structure and promote someone to take charge of the polymer project. And even though it’s my understanding that you haven’t been hired in on a permanent basis for very long, I’m impressed by you. I think your ambition and energy is an asset, and I wanted you to know that you’re in the running for the promotion.”

  Hell, was I hearing this right? The same man who’d stolen my ideas a couple of weeks ago was now suggesting that I could be promoted? Maybe his conscience was eating at him. “Thank you.” I found my eyes darting around the room in search of Ava. My boss was talking about a promotion, which would be a fantastic opportunity for me, and I was busy hunting down a woman. I forced my eyes back to his face.

  “I’ll announce my decision at the fiftieth anniversary party. That gives me a little over five weeks to evaluate your performance.”

  “I’m working to increase both quality and production as we speak, and I have a lot of ideas I’d like to test to see which ones are the most beneficial.”

  Mr. Tankard nodded as he pulled out his company credit card. “That’s what I like to hear. I have a feeling that you and I could make one hell of an impact on this project.”

  The server cleared our plates and took his card. I took advantage of the distraction to search for Ava. Damn it. Where was she?

  My phone dinged, notifying me of a text. It was from Ava, and I frowned as I read it. She’d gotten tied up and wouldn’t be able to make it. I wondered if she was pissed at me after my hasty exit last night, but when I suggested that I could come by her place after work, she agreed. Glad that we had that settled, I turned my attention back to my boss.

  ***

  As I drove to Ava’s, I realized how much I wanted to see her again.

  “What happened last night?” she asked when she answered the door.

  I closed my eyes against the dreaded question. “I can’t talk about this now. Let me make it up to you over dinner.”

  “I have two more appointments this evening. Why don’t you sign the offer, so I can fax it to the seller’s agent, and meet me back here at eight o’clock? Instead of going to dinner, maybe you could bring Chinese takeout?”

  “Works for me.” I quickly signed the papers and left her apartment, so that she could f
inish up her real estate appointments.

  Three hours later, I showed back up on her doorstep, offering a bag of Chinese takeout as a peace offering.

  “How’d you know that’s one of my favorites?” she asked sarcastically as she smiled and took the bag.

  “Lucky guess.” I followed her into the kitchen.

  “After running earlier and then having two appointments back to back, I am completely famished,” she said, pulling two plates out of the cabinet.

  “Burning up all of those calories does have a way of making you hungry,” I agreed, knowing all too well the hunger that came with training.

  We divvied up the sweet and sour chicken, lo mein, rice, and eggrolls.

  “Milk or water?” Ava asked as she held the refrigerator door open.

  “Milk is good.”

  She poured us each a glass, and we sat at the kitchen table.

  “About last night,” I said.

  She held up her slender palm. “Let’s not talk about it right now. Let’s just enjoy our dinner, and then we can go on the patio and talk.”

  “Fair enough,” I agreed.

  “So how was your day?” she asked. “You looked stressed.”

  “Believe it or not, my ass of a boss took me to lunch and told me that he was considering me for a promotion.”

  “That’s great.”

  “Yeah, I guess so. I’ve already seen what a liar he is, so we’ll see if it pans out. And even if it does, he also told me that he’d be watching my performance over the next few weeks as he makes his decision, which means the pressure is on.”

  “I have faith in you.”

  I put my fork down and looked at Ava, really looked at her, and I could tell by her expression that she had meant those words. Hell, I couldn’t remember the last time someone told me that, and I realized that it felt damn good to know that she believed in me. I knew my mother and Kelsey trusted me and my judgment, but this was different, this was someone that wasn’t obligated because she was related. This was someone who offered those words of encouragement because she truly had confidence in my abilities.

  “It’s been one helluva day, Ava, but you just made all the shit I’ve dealt with today worth it.”

  “I’m glad.” She smiled one of those smiles that was warm and genuine, one of those Ava smiles, and as much as I didn’t want to think it, I could seriously get used to coming home to someone like her.

  Perhaps it was kismet that we both had meddlesome little sisters who were determined to bring us together.

  “You could make my day even better if you tell me that I got the house, and I won’t have to go house shopping again.”

  “I haven’t heard from the seller’s agent yet.”

  “Well, I guess there’s no point in worrying about it until I know what I’m dealing with.”

  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” she said softly. “It’s just a matter of coming to terms, and you and the seller are on the same page, just not quite the same sentence.”

  I swallowed a bite of eggroll. “Man, it would be nice to have something to cross off my list.”

  Ava smiled. “Now why do I have a feeling that you’d just find something else to add to it?”

  “I definitely would, but crossing items off is more satisfying than adding them. Crossing them off is when I feel a sense of accomplishment. And most of the items on my Do-It-Or-Die List have been a long time coming, so the payoff is that much sweeter.”

  “So what comes after buying a house?”

  “I’ll probably start back to school next semester.”

  “Didn’t you just graduate?”

  “I did, but I want a master’s degree.”

  “Determined, aren’t you?”

  I gritted my teeth together, thinking of all the reasons why I refused to be a failure. “I guess you could say that.”

  When we finished eating, we stepped onto the patio, which was sparsely furnished with a two-person swing and a small side table. I sat beside Ava in the swing, and we gently swayed as we gazed at the full moon, its brilliant glow a stark contrast to the inky, black sky.

  “A wise person once told me that the moon will wash away all the bad things that happen, so that when the sun rises, it’ll be the fresh start of a new day,” Ava whispered.

  “Oh, really?” I asked.

  “Really.”

  “And do you believe this so-called wise person?”

  She sighed softly. “I want to.”

  It took me a moment to realize that her shoulders were shaking, and while I was trying to decide whether she was crying, I heard the sniffles.

  Coming over here was a bad idea. I didn’t know what Ava wanted from me, and I feared that I’d only hurt her more than she was already hurting.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, wrapping my arm around her slender shoulders.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, wiping away her tears. She took a deep breath. “I’m okay.”

  “You are obviously not okay. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

  “If I tell you something that’s bothering me, will you tell me something that’s bothering you?” she asked.

  “Ava, I’m a guy.”

  “And your point is?” she sniffled.

  “My point is….” Guys don’t talk about shit like that. The words were dangling on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t say them. Even though shadows darkened her face, I could tell in the soft glow of the moonlight that she was looking at me expectantly, maybe even hopefully. It was an if-I-tell-you-my-secret-you-have-to-tell-me-yours kind of moment. I could feel myself getting deeper and deeper. If I started talking, really talking to her, then it would be even more difficult to walk away. I liked Ava—too much. And I had too many things I had to do before I devoted myself to a woman.

  “Your point is?” she asked again, swiping under her eyes.

  I felt like she needed someone to lean on, someone to make her feel better, and damn it, I didn’t have it in me to not be exactly what she needed at this moment.

  “My point is it’s hard for guys to talk about stuff like that, but you’ll be my exception, Ava. You talk to me, and then, I’ll talk to you.”

  She exhaled deeply, blowing out her breath as if she had a bad case of nerves.

  “When the last guy I dated told me that he couldn’t be with me because of my leg, he messed with my mind, you know?”

  Shit. I probably knew better than she thought I did. “He was a bastard, and you’re better off without him.”

  “I know, and that’s not what bothers me. It’s the fact that I’ve let him make me feel insecure. That’s what’s really eating me up because I know that no one can make me feel inferior without my permission. And I’ve let him.”

  “So stop letting him.”

  “If only it were that easy.”

  “It is. He’s a jerk, and you’re a fantastic girl that any guy would be lucky to have.”

  “Then why don’t you want me?” she asked.

  Nothing like laying it all out there. And now I was really in a sticky situation. The only way to explain to her why I wasn’t pursuing a more serious relationship would be to tell her the truth, and I really didn’t want to go there.

  To do that, I’d be laying all of my insecurities on the table, too.

  “Ava, I really like you—a lot.”

  “But?” She wiped away tears again, and I felt like an ass.

  “I’m not looking for a long-term relationship. I’ve got too many things I need to accomplish.”

  “You’re talking about your list?” she asked, her voice a higher pitch than normal.

  “Well, yeah.”

  “You don’t want a relationship with me because you need to give all of your attention to your list?”

  It sounded idiotic when she said it like that, but I had my reasons.

  “You talk about insecurities. Well, I have insecurities of my own.” I ran my hand through my hair at the thought of my father. It was h
ard knowing that we were the reason he left.

  “Like what?”

  I did not want to have this conversation. “You haven’t finished your story yet.”

  “I’m struggling, Ridge. I never told you how I lost my leg, and I don’t know, maybe London told Kelsey and Kelsey told you.”

  “No one’s told me anything.”

  “I was in a car accident when I was sixteen. My parents had bought me a car for my birthday, and I’d only had it about a month when I ran off the road to avoid hitting a rabbit. I hit a tree, instead.

  “The left side of the car caved in on my lower leg and severed it, and the doctors couldn’t save it.

  “I was really depressed for a while. I felt like people looked at me differently, even my friends. It wasn’t long after the accident that my boyfriend broke up with me. Part of me always wondered if it had anything to do with my leg. I don’t know. Maybe I was just paranoid. Maybe I’d changed after the accident.

  “But I’d learned to live with it, and once I got my first prosthesis, I started thinking that maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal. There were a lot of things that I could still do. And I started doing them. I became really confident, and everything was great for a few years.

  “Fast forward to the day I was rejected because of my leg, and everything came crashing down around me again.

  “That’s why I went to the cabin in the first place. To get my head on straight again.”

  “And did you?” I asked, wondering if it had helped her.

  “I was feeling better, but I think mostly it was because of you. You saw my leg, and you didn’t seem to care.” Her gaze fell to the ground.

  I placed my hand on top of hers and squeezed it. “There’s something special about you, Ava. And I don’t know, maybe it’s because you’ve lost your leg. Maybe what you’ve went through has caused you to be more compassionate. Maybe you know more about what’s important in life than your average twenty-something because you’ve been in a dire situation that forced you to think about life. I mean a lot of our peers seem to be oblivious to what really matters. Take my roommate, Mason, for example.” Hell, I hated gossiping, and here I was talking about my roommate. I told myself that it was only to get my point across to her. “Mason’s my best friend, but he’s all about instant gratification. He has no idea how to put other people’s needs before his own.”