by Diane Lennox
“I agree,” Ezra said. “I know I’d feel better about you courting him if you got to know him better first and can convince me he’d be worthy of your attentions.”
Alice nodded as well. “I also wouldn’t want you to court him just because you like the idea of him, that wouldn’t be fair to Soren or to you.”
“So does that sound good?” Yuri asked.
“Yeah,” Pasha said, feeling his nerves finally begin to settle. “I’ll apologize on Wednesday, or tomorrow if I see him, about being so weird and bolting out of his house. Then I’ll tell him I’d like to come over and beat his ass at Realm Lords like we were planning, if he wants that.”
“Sounds perfect,” Yuri said.
It did, actually. Though the revelation of who Soren was and his own desires to be wanted by him, or someone like him, was rather abrupt, that didn’t mean Pasha had to rush into anything. He could take his time and figure his shit out and see if Soren was actually the man for him. If he was, then he could deal with his fears about courting. He just needed to take this one step at a time and he had his brothers’ support no matter what happened. He’d be okay. Probably.
~~~~~
Leander Kane grumbled as his alarm sounded and reached over to groggily paw at it until it shut off. He was not a morning person by nature.
Then suddenly he sat up so fast he nearly made himself dizzy.
“I didn’t give him my number!” Leander exclaimed.
“What?” Simon mumbled as he slowly woke up as well.
“Dimitrius, I didn’t give him my number!” Leander said and groaned to himself. “I’m so stupid!”
“You know where each other lives, you’ll figure it out,” Simon said, sounding slightly annoyed as he rubbed at his face.
Leander frowned. “Why are you so grumpy?”
“Because my brother is running off making friends with people that I don’t trust at the moment. I said I’d apologize to him for being rude, but that doesn’t mean I have to like him,” Simon said and stood. “I’m going to shower, I’ll meet you at the door.”
Leander pouted, not pleased with his brother’s declaration considering he thought the matter settled last night. He’d make Simon like Dimitrius, in fact he was sure they’d get along once Simon realized how clever Dimitrius was.
But Dimitrius wasn’t Leander’s only problem. He needed to focus on Marius and his father now so that Simon could be reunited with Alexei permanently and hopefully be less miserable.
Simon’s mood didn’t seem to get any better as the two of them eventually made their way to school, but Leander let him be. They’d fought enough recently and Leander wasn’t eager to go for another round, especially over something that would hopefully get resolved soon enough.
Even their shared lunch was quiet and Leander made use of the time to ponder his next move. Now that he had decided to stick to his plan of becoming his grandfather’s successor he needed to approach his father again, though he was a little nervous about his plan to surprise attack him about his feelings towards Ezra. Both he and his father seemed to get rather intense as soon as Leander slipped into the role of successor, and he knew he had to try to keep things relatively calm or else Lazarus was liable to close up again and Leander was worried he, himself, might embarrass himself again if he got too frustrated. He really didn’t want another glass throwing incident.
The rest of the school day passed by quickly and when him and Simon returned home Leander noticed something sticking out of their mailbox.
“Hm,” Leander hummed to himself as he pulled out the envelope.
“What is it?” Simon asked as they walked inside.
“It’s for me,” Leander said, reading only his name on the front of the envelope. “Perhaps it’s from Dimitrius!”
“Perhaps,” Simon agreed, sounding annoyed once more as he undid his shoes and put his coat away.
Leander did the same then followed Simon upstairs to their room and set his bag down by his desk before sitting down and opening the letter.
Dear Leander,
I hope this letter isn’t too strange, I wasn’t sure how else to contact you. I realized too late that we never did exchange numbers. Here is mine, in case you want to reach me – 6590-0003.
Don’t worry if you changed your mind about friendship with me, I’ll understand if you didn’t want to decline with me sitting right there in front of you. I still had an amazing night with you and it will be a fond memory for me no matter what.
Still, I hope to hear from you.
Yours,
Dimitrius
Leander beamed down at the letter. It was so sweet!
“It’s from him, isn’t it?” Simon asked.
“It is. He left me his number,” Leander said then looked to his brother. “You can read the letter, if you like. I can promise you there’s nothing improper in here at all.”
Simon shook his head. “I trust you.”
“I’ll be right back, I just want to go give him a quick call,” Leander said then grabbed his phone and the letter and hurried out of the room and downstairs to the living room couch where he immediately dialed Dimitrius’ number.
“Dimitrius here,” Dimitrius answered after a few rings.
“Dimitrius, it’s Leander,” Leander greeted in return.
There was silence in response.
“Um, Dimitrius? You there?” Leander asked.
“Yeah, sorry, just a little surprised. I spent all day trying to get used to the idea that you probably wouldn’t call me.”
“Why wouldn’t I call? I said I wanted your friendship and I meant it. Do you not feel the same?”
“I do. Like I said, I’m just surprised. It’s really good to hear from you,” Dimitrius said, his voice gaining back some of the warmth Leander was drawn to last night.
“It’s nice to hear your voice again as well,” Leander said, unable to stop smiling. “So, um, I don’t really have any reason to call you other than to tell you I got your letter.”
“That’s enough reason for me.”
“Um, was your day good? Were you at work?”
“I was, just got home actually,” Dimitrius replied. “Gonna spend the rest of the night researching more about video editing programs. You inspired me to get a little more serious about that.”
“I’m glad,” Leander said, feeling quite happy about the fact that he had made such an impact on his new friend.
“What are you up to tonight?” Dimitrius asked.
Leander let out a soft sigh. “I’m afraid I’ll be doing something far less fun.”
“Oh? And what would that be?”
“Trying to figure out how to reconcile two parties who had a bit of a, hm, well I’m not sure entirely what happened, but things are a mess between them anyhow. I’ve volunteered to be the mediator, but I’m a little worried I may have bitten off more than I can chew. I’ve never done anything like this before,” Leander admitted.
“Why did you volunteer then?”
“Because I have ambitions to be my grandfather’s successor and I was hoping that volunteering to step up as an ambassador for my family would prove how serious I am about it and hopefully give me some much needed experience. I also have a vested interest in making sure these two people get along again.”
“Whew, yeah, you did go in deep right off the bat. All I’ll say is don’t be afraid to ask for help and remember to be patient. Getting people to reconcile is not an easy task, even for people who have experience being a mediator.”
“I’ll try, it’s hard to be patient though when I’m so emotionally invested,” Leander said then decided to move on. Even if he did trust the other man he didn’t really want to tell him too much about his family’s drama, some things were meant to be kept private. “Dimitrius?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I see you again soon?” Leander asked, hoping he didn’t sound too clingy. He was just eager to spend more time with someone who made him feel calm.
> “Of course. Did you have a specific day in mind?”
“Not really, I just want to see you again.”
Dimitrius chuckled. “Be careful, Leander, you almost sound like you’re flirting with me.”
“I suppose I am, just in a platonic way,” Leander said with a shy smile.
“You’re a little tease.”
“You don’t seem to mind,” Leander replied, hoping he wasn’t being too much of a brat with his teasing.
“It’s torture, trust me,” Dimitrius replied, though he sounded rather amused. “Well you have my number now, just give me a call when you know what your schedule is like and we’ll meet up.”
“Perfect. Well, um, I’ll let you get to your research.”
“Thanks, and good luck with your mediation.”
“Thank you. Goodbye, Dimitrius.”
“Talk soon, Leander.”
Leander hung up and grinned brightly. It was just a short conversation, but it still had a rather positive effect on Leander’s mood, and he hoped he could actually see Dimitrius in person again soon. The man had a wonderfully soothing aura about him when he wasn’t being overly suspicious.
With that conversation done Leander made his way back upstairs to drop off his phone at his desk.
“I’m going to go talk to father,” Leander said to Simon who was busy studying at his computer.
“Alright,” Simon said, not even turning around.
Leander sighed softly, but again, let it be. He had to focus on his father right now, not Simon.
He left their room and went up another flight of stairs to the third floor and knocked on his father’s closed door, hoping he was actually home. The closed door didn’t necessarily mean anyone was inside.
Luckily for Leander, the door did open, revealing his father who looked even more haggard than the last time he saw him.
Leander didn’t say anything, he simply stepped forward and hugged his father tightly. All other thoughts were banished except for the ones that said he needed to take care of his father.
“Are you alright?” Lazarus asked, returning the hug affectionately.
“I’m more worried about you, father,” Leander said, pulling away so he could look down at his father. “What’s wrong? Are you still upset about what happened the other night? You look like you haven’t slept at all.”
Lazarus shrugged and let go of Leander. “I’ll be fine.”
“Have you talked to grandpa about it?” Leander asked. He wasn’t about to let this go.
“No,” Lazarus said and walked back to his currently unlit fireplace, plopping down in his worn, leather armchair.
Leander shut the door then went to go sit on the floor in front of his father, contemplating what to say to him.
“Is this about the other night though?” Leander asked. He needed to know what the cause of his father’s anguish was.
“Don’t worry about it,” Lazarus said, reaching down to affectionately caress Leander’s hair. “I’ll be okay.”
Leander leaned into his father’s touch, trying to think of what to do. How was Leander going to get him to talk?
“Father,” Leander said and looked up at Lazarus. He had an idea, but he wasn’t sure if it was going to work.
“Yeah?”
“I think I know what happened between you and Marius-khan. There’s a good chance I could be wrong, but I have a feeling you two were arguing about Ezra-khan.”
Lazarus’ hand on Leander’s hair stilled and his reddish eyes narrowed ever so slightly.
It was all the reaction Leander needed.
He reached up to his hair and took his father’s hand in his and brought it to his cheek so he could nuzzle against it.
“If… if I’m right… it’s okay, father. I don’t mind that you like Ezra-khan, and I understand, being the way that you are, that you couldn’t help getting unusually aggressive with Marius-khan. It’s in your nature to challenge and be territorial,” Leander said then looked up at his father. “I think all you need to do is apologize to Marius-khan for attacking him and tell him he can try to court Ezra-khan first. If it doesn’t work out, then you can try. It’s not that I’m favouring Marius-khan, it’s just that he got to Ezra-khan first, so I think it’s only fair that you give him space to try his hand at courting Ezra-khan before you. I may be wrong, but I think you won’t feel as aggressive towards Marius-khan if Ezra-khan is officially his. I think it’s harder for you when he’s fair game and unattached. And, well, this is all assuming I’m even right about any of this. I may be totally off and just embarrassed myself badly here.”
“You’re close,” Lazarus said softly.
“Close?” Leander echoed and tilted his head.
Lazarus just nodded.
Leander frowned. In what way was he close? He wasn’t sure how else the argument could have gone down.
“I promised you I’d fix things with Marius, and I will.”
“I know, father, but this isn’t just about that. I want you to be happy, I hate seeing you like this,” Leander said. “I know you made a mistake with Marius-khan, but you can’t beat yourself up like this. We can make him understand that you didn’t mean to do it.”
“You don’t know I didn’t mean to do it.”
“You didn’t,” Leander said more forcefully. “It scares me to think you’d attack someone who didn’t deserve it, but at the same time I know you wouldn’t do it on purpose. Something was said or done to set you off and your aggressive hunter instincts kicked in. I know we don’t talk about it, but the thing is, father, I know the rumours about other hunters. Most of them aren’t like you and Shar Warrick, they’re like Paris-khan. They’re wild and hard to tame and don’t mesh well with normal society. We’re spoiled with you behaving mostly like normal and,” Leander paused, realizing what he was about to say was going to be a little disrespectful, but he wanted to let it out. “And grandfather is wrong to be so hard on you for messing up once. And from what I know it couldn’t have been that bad or else Marius-khan wouldn’t want to speak to me at all or even be interested in reconciliation.”
“You’re too easy on me, Leander.”
“No, I’m not!” Leander cried and moved onto his knees so he could be closer to his father’s face as he spoke. “I don’t approve of you hurting Marius-khan, in fact I’m deeply ashamed that you did, but I can still be ashamed and understanding that you probably couldn’t stop yourself from behaving the way you did. Gods, I wish you would just tell me what happened. I feel so helpless like this. And… and I’m frustrated that you won’t trust me. Despite what you said the other night, I still want to be Shar, father. I want to take care of everyone in this family and push them to get everything they want. By the trees,” Leander cursed softly at himself. “I wanted to be calm this time, but I can’t seem to stay calm around you. I can’t help but feel all this frustration because you won’t trust me enough to talk to me. Is it because I’m your son? Because I’m young? Because you think I couldn’t understand you? I adore you, father, I love you so much,” Leander said then shuddered, feeling on the verge of tears he was getting so worked up.
“It is because you’re my son, Leander,” Lazarus said, his gravelly voice gentle. “I don’t think you quite understand what you’re asking of me. If I look at you as my future Shar, I’ll lose my son. I mean, you’ll always be my son, but it’ll be different. Our relationship will change and it won’t be able to go back.”
“But won’t it change anyways as I grow up? I won’t always be your little boy even if I never become your Shar,” Leander said even though he understood what his father was trying to explain to him.
“That’s true, but this is different, and you know it,” Lazarus said with a smirk then gently stroked Leander’s cheek. “We also both know you won’t be the kind of Shar to me that Jacob is, you won’t let me have my space and just watch me like a hawk from afar. You’ll want to know all my secrets, and if you know them, you won’t look at me the same way an
ymore. Is it so wrong of me not to want to lose this? The way you look at me so innocently and lovingly now?”
“I won’t ever stop looking at you lovingly,” Leander said. “And I know our relationship would change and it scares me too. But even though it does scare me, I know it’s what I want, because the distance I feel from my family doesn’t feel right to me. Maybe I want to know too much, and maybe I shouldn’t want that, but it doesn’t change the fact that I do want it. I want to know your secrets father, even the horrible ones. I want you to trust me with that. And I want you to trust that I will always love you regardless of whatever darkness you hide in there. Perhaps I’ll even love you more for it.”
Lazarus sighed and pulled his hand away, his reddish eyes looking even more haunted as he stared down into Leander’s own. “Be careful what you ask for, Leander.”
The words sent an icy chill up Leander’s spine. But that wasn’t all that was moving upwards, because Leander could feel the dark tendrils of ambition leaving the depths of his stomach once again, awakened by his father’s warning words that held the promise of more secrets that Leander couldn’t even imagine.
And he wanted to know them.
He moved back and bowed down on one knee before his father, his head low. “I understand what I’m asking, and accept the consequences of it, father. But I promise my love for you and this family will not change. No matter what you or anyone else tells me, I will keep us together.”
A strong, rough hand grabbed his chin and forced him to look upwards.
Lazarus’ red eyes were all but glowing.
“I wonder if this how my father felt, when I told him I was going to be a hunter. I wonder if he felt this angry and helpless. You won’t stop, will you, Leander? You’re going to keep poking and digging until you get what you want from us. You won’t like what you find, I promise you that. And I don’t know if you’re going to be strong enough to keep us together. I don’t know if you’re going to be strong enough to keep yourself together.”
“I’ll become strong enough,” Leander said and swallowed hard, trying to ignore the way he was now trembling before his father. This was the second time now he had the hunter’s gaze trained on him and it was a strong reminder that this was what Lazarus hid from them. He hid this aggressive side and played up being the playful, doting father. Not that he wasn’t the playful, doting father, but he was also a man who was cursed with a bloodlust that threatened to make him crazy if he didn’t feed it.
