My Journey

by Amalie Coles

  “You are most welcome.” He smiled.

  I glanced at the panorama to my right and at the wall to my left. For a moment, I felt happy again. Each of us would move on. This afternoon’s incident would be forgotten. The memories, however, would remain. That feeling of joy didn’t last any longer than a few seconds.

  “You know that it wouldn’t work out,” I said at last.

  “Maybe it would, if you wanted to,” he insisted.

  “It just wouldn’t. We are two different people coming from two different worlds. You have your views on religion, and you don’t want kids. Which is totally fine.”

  “Maybe we could learn to respect our differences.”

  “Not when we have different goals. I mean, I want kids someday, and you obviously don’t.”

  “Ah, I should’ve never said that at the museum.” He waved his hand like it was no big deal.

  “Even if you didn’t, it wouldn’t change anything. Whoever you’ll end up with will find it out eventually. So I’m kind of happy you told me the truth from the start.”

  “Maybe you would realize that you don’t want kids either, and we would pursue archaeology together.”

  The idea of giving up my hopes for a family in favor of archaeology sounded utterly cruel and unfair.

  “I’m not leaving Jason,” I said decisively. “Not in a million years.”

  “I know, and I respect you even more for that.”

  Tears rose in my eyes. “I appreciate that, George.”

  He turned to me and took my face into his hands. “Please don’t cry, Becky. You must promise to think about your future.”

  “Yes, I will,” I said, after recomposing myself. “In fact, I’m thinking about going back to school.”

  “Good for you.”

  “It won’t be easy now that I’ve got so many other responsibilities, but maybe taking a plunge will be worth it.”

  “That’s why I think you should’ve held off on the whole marriage thing. But I’m not going to pressure you into anything. In fact, I promise to never touch you again if that’s what you want. However, you must promise me to seriously reconsider your priorities. A brilliant girl like you shouldn’t feel trapped.”

  “I’m not trapped by anything!” I retorted.

  “Whatever you choose, I only wish you the best. So if you decide that grad school isn’t for you, it’s all right.”

  “I know. I know.”

  By the time we reached the Albright Institute, all the staff people were already gathered in the lobby, and the bus was waiting to be boarded. I quickly ran upstairs and grabbed the suitcase I had packed last night. Just as I was about to leave the room, my phone rang. I wanted to ignore it, but something urged me to pick it up.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi, Becky,” Dalia began. “Listen, we need to talk.”

  “Dalia, I’m sorry, but I’m running late.” I instantly regretted giving her my Israeli cell phone number one night when we were chatting on Facebook.

  Before I could disconnect, she said, “Becky, I don’t know what’s going between you and that guy, but I must warn you against your biggest mistake.”

  “I’m really sorry for what happened today. Thanks for covering me up.”

  “Is that everything you care about?”

  “No! It was just so awkward. You, your aunt! Can you please not tell anything to anyone else? Please!” I probably sounded pathetic.

  “Fine, I won’t.” She sighed.

  “Dalia, I am actually running late. We are going to Tel Aviv to have a reunion with the rest of the team. The bus is waiting for me downstairs.”

  “Wait, before you hang up on me, I must tell you that good men are hard to find and to keep.”

  “Why are you so concerned about me?” I dropped the suitcase and sat on a bed. Running away from this phone conversation was pointless.

  “Look at me. I’m almost thirty and still single.”

  “Dalia, don’t be ridiculous! Twenty-nine is still considered young.”

  “Maybe in your culture it’s not a big deal, but in mine, being over twenty-five and unmarried is considered a failure. You can’t imagine what it feels like to be constantly bugged about your status.”

  “Ah-ha, so you are also worried about what others think.” Now it was me turning tables.

  “Becky, you and Jason have such a good thing going. Many would kill to have that life of yours. Don’t ruin it with some random guy.”

  “Thanks for the advice, but I do need to run.” According to my watch, I was already ten minutes late. What if everyone had already left without me? I thought.

  “Have a great night, Rebecca.”

  I hung up the phone impatiently and ran to the lobby. Just as I predicted, everyone was already on the bus ready to depart.

  “Sorry, I had an important call to take,” I told the driver. He didn’t reply, but gave me an angry look. I couldn’t blame him.

  Chapter 21

  I tried rehearsing my speech on the bus. Last night, I had quickly skimmed through the Power Point presentations on Ashkelon and the Albright Institute and discovered that most of the information wasn’t new to me. So I fell asleep shortly afterwards. Now I was sitting quietly by myself, watching the green Hill Country transform into yellow plains, and clutching the USB in my pocket.

  Soon I saw skyscrapers on the horizon and realized we were approaching Tel Aviv. We drove through busy suburbs and finally stopped in front of a chain of restaurants located close to the beach area.

  “Do you need some help?” George asked me as I was trying to haul my suitcase out of the bus.

  “Sure.” I felt a bit awkward about everything that had transpired between us.

  He quickly grabbed the suitcase and placed it in front of me. Then he took out his and proceeded to the restaurant. The staff followed us.

  “What do I do with my baggage?” I asked one of the waiters in Hebrew.

  “You can leave it here.” He pointed at a corner that was already piled with suitcases and duffel bags. “We’ll watch it for you.”

  The waiter quickly led us to the restaurant room, which had full-length windows that showcased a garden located behind the building. Some of the volunteers from Ashkelon were already seated at wooden tables that had been pushed together to make one long table. I recognized my three former roommates, who were chatting together, and quickly joined them.

  “Oh, hi, Becky!” Madeline exclaimed. I moved closer, choosing an empty seat next to her.

  “How was your stay at the Albright?” Janice asked.

  “It was amazing. I learned so much during one week.”

  “I bet you had lots of fun with that hot guy from Wheaton College,” she added.

  “I worked on translating a Hebrew article about prehistoric settlements,” I explained, ignoring her comment.

  “Wow! We had no idea your Hebrew is that good!” Madeline exclaimed.

  “Me neither. In fact, I was pretty sure I’d bomb the task, but I made it in the end!” From the corner of my eye, I noticed Helen sitting one table away from us. I wondered if she could hear me.

  “Anyway, I’m speaking tonight.” So far, I still had no clue what my speech would sound like.

  “I’m pretty sure you’ll do a great job, Rebecca,” Madeline said calmly.

  A waitress arrived with four menus and asked if we’d like something to drink. We ordered four glasses of beer.

  “How was Megiddo?” I finally asked.

  “Not bad,” Janice replied. “We found a few interesting pottery pieces. But like I said, I’m not doing archaeology again. It’s too much slaving under the sun.”

  “I agree,” Madeline added. “It was just an elective we decided to take for fun.”

  “At least we managed to make it through the program,” Janice commented. “I was getting worried the whole thing would get cancelled.”

  “I know,” I said, sympathizing. “I’d be worried too if I paid my tuition fee and got noth
ing in return.”

  “Why do we have to talk about school now?” Rachel protested. “Let’s just choose our meals.”

  We made our choices quickly. Feeling a bit weary of the local food, we all chose typical American dishes, such as poutine, hamburger, and chicken pot pie. It wasn’t until this moment that I realized I was starting to miss American food.

  As we were eating, I thought about what I would say when my name got called. Even now, I had a very faint idea about my speech.

  “What are your plans for the summer?” Madeline asked halfway through the meal.

  “Huh?”

  “I plan to kick off during August,” she said, ignoring my silence.

  “Say it again?”

  “Good evening, everyone,” Daniel Master announced. “Thank you for staying with us until the end of the term. Before we begin our evening, I would like to introduce a special speaker. Everyone, please welcome Rebecca O’Connor-Smith.”

  Everyone clapped. As soon as I got up from the chair, my knees started shaking. For a few seconds, it felt like I had forgotten everything.

  “Here you go.” Daniel passed me a microphone.

  “Good evening everyone!” I feigned confidence. “It’s a pleasure for me to be here tonight...”

  I stumbled for a bit. Then, after a few seconds, my speech started flowing. I talked about the sites of Ashkelon and Megiddo, the history of the Albright Institute, and life on a dig versus life in a lab. I even shared some of the insights into the article I had translated and some of the struggles I had encountered along the way. I concluded my talk by emphasizing the role of persistence in academic success. The moment I finished speaking, I was greeted by a big applause.

  “Congratulations!” Janice exclaimed after I rejoined the table. “You were amazing!”

  Soon, all the volunteers started coming to our table one-by-one and congratulating me on the speech. I received hugs from Karen, Claire, Luke, and a few others whom I had gotten to know on the dig. When George’s turn came, he held me tightly and whispered in my ear that I was a talented speaker.

  At some point, I became wary of the attention and excused myself to the bathroom to get some quiet time. To my dismay, Rachel followed me.

  “So you are being the star of the Orient,” she told me while we were fixing our makeup. For the first time, I noticed how beautiful she looked in her silky red dress, and how elaborate her hair up-do was. Although I had a speaker role, I hadn’t even bothered to change and was still wearing the same clothes I had worn to the Old City.

  “Is it wrong?” I tried ignoring her tone.

  “You always get what you want, Rebecca.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Don’t you think that someone else might have wanted to speak tonight?”

  “Well, I found out I would be speaking in the very last minute. I didn’t even want the speech.”

  “Ha! You think I’ll believe you.” She pointed at me with her comb. “It was probably a well-calculated plan to get everyone’s attention. You wanted to shine, didn’t you?”

  “Rachel, what’s going on?” I was getting tired of her constant bugging.

  “What’s going on? I’ll tell you.” She tossed the comb into the sink. “I was supposed to be the speaker. I volunteered to speak a long time ago. I had a presentation prepared and everything, and in the last minute, they told me not to bother. Can you imagine how I felt?”

  “Oh, I’m really sorry. I swear it wasn’t planned by me.”

  “Why did you have to steal George from me?” she continued on. “Aren’t you married?”

  “When did I steal him? We just ended up becoming friends. Well, we kind of took it a bit too far, but I would’ve never stolen anyone. He just wasn’t interested in you. Sorry, nothing I could do.”

  “You are such a vixen, Rebecca.”

  I wasn’t sure if I supposed to laugh or cry. Me? A quiet girl from Oakville? I couldn’t even stand up for myself at work. How did I turn into a vixen in one day?

  “By the way, your outfit looks horrible, and your skirt is soiled.”

  I looked down and saw a small black stain at the bottom of my skirt. Clearly, fashion wasn’t my strongest suit.

  “So what?” I asked in an attempt at self-defense. “Everyone still liked my presentation.”

  “You don’t deserve any of the attention everyone gives you.”

  “Whatever. I’m going back to our table. You are more than welcome to move if you don’t like my company.”

  I stormed out of the bathroom and quickly reached my seat. Janice and Madeline were talking animatedly among themselves. As soon as I sat down, they stopped.

  “Is everything all right?” Madeline asked. “Did you two have a fight in a bathroom?”

  “Well, Rachel is mad at me for stealing her speech. She planned to be the speaker.”

  “That’s so funny!” Janice exclaimed.

  “I kind of feel bad for her because she had her speech and stuff.”

  “Don’t feel bad,” Madeline protested. “Look, you did a great job, and she’s being jealous. Plain and simple.”

  “Exactly,” Janice said. “So don’t worry about it.”

  From the way the two girls were exchanging looks and sharing muffled laughs, I could tell that something wasn’t quite right. As for Rachel, she was gone since our argument and hadn’t come back. Feeling slightly uneasy with myself, I decided to step outside and get some fresh air. I opened the restaurant door, took a few steps, and froze. The scene that was unfolding before my eyes looked surreal.

  “Why did you do this to me?” Rachel screamed. “I came all the way over here to show you how much I care. I sweated for three whole weeks to prove that I’ve changed. I put my life in danger. And you left me for this bitch!”

  “Chill out, Rach. We were over long before this trip.” George tried acting cool. “And no one asked you to come to Ashkelon.”

  “Don’t you realize she’s using you? I bet she coerced you to find her a place at... What’s that called again? Ambright?”

  “Look, Becky and I are not even together. Fine, maybe we shared one afternoon, but she’s going back to her husband. And she would never use anyone, for that matter.” He was spitting out his words.

  “Excuse me?” I finally said. Both looked in my direction.

  “Becky, I can explain,” George began.

  “What’s there to explain?” I felt like crying.

  “Why don’t you tell her the frigging truth?” she yelled.

  “What truth?” I felt lost.

  “That we’ve been together for five whole years before you decided to call it quits.”

  “I thought it was mutual.”

  “Wait! Are you...?”

  “She’s my ex-girlfriend, Becky.” George looked guilty.

  “The one who broke up with you because of your work commitments?” My mind traced back to the conversation we had had by the pool.

  “Well, it was more complicated than that.”

  “I can’t believe you shared our problems with her.” Rachel looked hurt. Suddenly, I realized that underneath this iciness was simply a girl with broken hopes. Still, I couldn’t empathize with her, at least, not until she learned to respect me.

  “Rach, I’m sorry,” George said.

  “She’s using you to get famous, and you’re using her to prove that you’ve moved on. Both of you deserve each other.”

  “Rachel, I’m really sorry for the way everything had turned out,” I said. “I’m sure you’ll find your happiness with someone else.”

  “I hope you get in a car accident!” She looked at me with eyes full of hate.

  “Please don’t say those things.” I’ve always believed that words have special power.

  “You deserve to die, Becky. Or at least, get severely injured.” With these words, she stormed off.

  For a moment, George and I just looked at each other, my shock being palpable.

  “Becky, I’m
sorry,” he finally said. “I should’ve warned you ahead of time. I didn’t expect her to flare up.”

  “You don’t need to apologize,” I muttered and went back inside.

  Everyone in the room was eating and talking avidly. Janice and Madeline were laughing hysterically. As soon as I showed up at our table, they stopped.

  “What’s going on?” I asked. “Something funny?”

  “We should ask you the same question,” Janice said, clearly trying to suppress the giggles.

  “Wait, did you know?”

  “You mean Rachel and George?”

  “Yes, them.”

  “Well, most volunteers know the story,” Madeline admitted. “She’s trying to win him back.”

  “Then why didn’t you tell me?” I was beyond angry.

  “Wasn’t it you who said George and you were just friends?” Janice shrugged.

  “You could’ve warned me at least!”

  “It was entertaining to see you two interact while she was seething quietly by herself.”

  “What? No!” I put my hands over my head.

  I’d been let down many times, but not by people I’d considered my friends. I came to this dinner hoping that we would sit together, discuss our best impressions of the expedition, and perhaps share a few good laughs. Instead, I discovered that everyone had been conspiring against me.

  “Goodnight, everyone.” I got up from the table and paced to the front.

  “Wait, Becky! Where are you going?” Madeline yelled after me. “Please come back.”

  I quickly paid my bill and was about to leave when I realized it would be a good idea to say goodbye to Helen and to the rest of the field team. After all, they had given me an amazing opportunity to work at the Albright Institute and to give this talk. As horrible as it may sound, a tiny part of me felt flattered about being chosen over Rachel. So I turned around and walked to the staff’s table. Helen, Daniel, Lawrence, and a few others were sitting together, talking.

  “Hi, I just came over to say goodbye,” I began.

  “Oh, hi, Rebecca! Good to see you!” Helen exclaimed. “You did an amazing job tonight!”

  “Thank you for the opportunity to work with your team.” I turned to Daniel and Lawrence.