Cindy Holby

by Angel’s End

  “Said what?”

  “That you were sorry. About my mother.”

  What a strange thing to say. And a stranger thing to happen. Why had no one comforted the small boy who lost his mother?

  “What happened to you then? Did your father bring you back east?”

  His eyes left her face and he once more stared into the fire. “My father dropped me and my brother in an orphanage and we never saw him again.” The words were bitter and venomous. Full of hatred for the man who abandoned him. Yet he became a minister…

  The rocking stopped and he shifted in the chair. Leah realized he was done speaking, that he was done sharing. She waited, expectantly, for him to move, to release her, to tell her to rest, or to eat, or something, but he didn’t. He just shut his eyes, as if the things he saw in the fire were too painful. She watched him, watched his face for some movement, some sign. He swallowed, once, and she watched the movement with quiet fascination, and then her eyes, so very heavy because she was so achingly weary, closed into sleep.

  If he let her go, he would have to leave. When he let her go…After all, he’d promised God that he would leave. Cade looked down at Leah as she snuggled deep within the blankets, safe and sound in his arms. The fever was gone. She slept, exhausted from her fight. Cade smiled at his next thought. She’d be covered in spots soon. He was certain she wouldn’t like that a bit.

  Why had he told her about his past? It wasn’t as if he forgot he was supposed to be Timothy, it was more like he just didn’t care. He wanted her to know about his past. He wanted her to know his secrets. Since he was leaving, it didn’t matter. She would know he was a liar soon enough. But despite that he wanted her to know something true about him. He wanted her to know there were reasons he left.

  Cade closed his eyes and fell asleep with Leah still safely in his arms.

  The smells woke him. Warm smells that drifted from the kitchen and made his stomach grumble in anticipation. How long had it been since he ate? Yesterday? The day before? His arms felt numb and his legs cramped. Leah was still asleep in his arms. Dodger was gone from his place by the chair and there was no sign of Ashes. Cade heard the creak of a floorboard and turned his head to the door. An old woman stared back at him with a knowing smile on her face. Cade arched an eyebrow in her direction.

  She dipped her head in his direction. “I’m Nonnie,” she said. Her English was heavily accented. She was from somewhere in Europe. Germany? Austria?

  “The apple strudel?” Leah had mentioned her. She went with the Martins. Jim and Gretchen and the passel of kids. Banks’s friends.

  “Yah.” She bobbed her head. “Leah is better now?”

  “Her fever broke this morning.” He flexed his cramped muscles carefully, so as not to disturb her. She made a small sound, similar to the one he’d heard Ashes make in her sleep, and he could not help but smile.

  “That is good.” Nonnie came closer. She approached him as if she were afraid he might hurt her. “May I?” She touched the blanket close to Leah’s shoulder.

  “Sure,” Cade said. The woman wanted to see for herself if Leah was still alive. He couldn’t blame her for that.

  Nonnie pulled the blanket away. “Ach! She has the spots. See?”

  Cade grinned as he looked at the rash that covered Leah’s breastbone. He wasn’t leaving quite yet. After all she was still contagious which meant he might be too.

  I will leave…as soon as she is better.

  TWENTY-TWO

  “What’s the total today? A thousand? Two?” Cade put Ashes on the floor and leaned in her doorway with his arms crossed. He looked infuriatingly handsome and agonizingly spot free. He must have shaved while she napped after breakfast, and from the fresh clean smell that drifted her way it seemed he’d washed up too. His hair, still shaggy, shone from a good brushing and his smile shone as bright as the sun.

  “I don’t think either one of us can count that high,” Leah replied. The spots were aggravating, but at least they didn’t itch after Nonnie had helped her bathe in oatmeal and smoothed her special rose ointment on her skin. All after hanging a sheet over her doorway, and promising to make Jim get her doors done. Her fever had returned but it wasn’t near as bad as it was before, and just left her feeling very tired. She wore a clean gown and her hair in a braid that fell over her shoulder. She was tired of lying about, but unfortunately didn’t have the energy to do much of anything except sew. She put his frock coat aside where she’d been stitching a new collar on with some scraps of velvet.

  He took a few steps into the room and stopped well away from the foot of her bed as if he were afraid of getting too close. Funny that, since he’d been so close before, when she was so sick. Close enough to touch her, to bathe her, to hold her in his arms. Leah recalled how she’d studied him when he was sick. Had he done the same with her? Had he seen every part of her, just as she had with him? The idea made her think of things she shouldn’t, made her want things she couldn’t have. Could she?

  Maybe not, as he didn’t seem inclined to come any closer. Yet he did study her, as if contemplating something…Dodger’s tail thumped on the rug beside her bed. Her heart beat a steady accompaniment. What a pair they were. Both of them falling for the man.

  “It appears to me that we’d only have to count to one, as it looks like they’ve all grown together.” He was teasing her wasn’t he? Was that a glint in his eye? A hint of happiness? Or was it just a trick of the morning light, like the dust motes that Ashes determinedly stalked around the floor.

  “Actually I think they’re fading,” she said as she rubbed a hand over her arm. His eyes followed her hand, watching her every movement. It was strange, yet thrilling, when he watched her like that. As if he wanted to touch her instead. I have got to stop letting my imagination run away with me…It must be because I’ve been sick…because I almost died, that I’ve got such fanciful thoughts in my mind.

  “What are you working on?” he asked.

  She held up his coat. “I replaced your collar. It looked as if it was burned.”

  “Hmm,” he said.

  “You still don’t remember what happened to you?”

  He shrugged. “I got shot, remember?”

  Leah shook her head. “The question is how and possibly who.”

  He moved to the foot of the bed and sat down on the edge, close enough that she could stretch out her feet and touch him if she wanted. Which she wanted to very much. Without thought she flexed her foot and he put his hand on it, over the blanket, in a casual and intimate pose. He tapped his foot and Ashes wiggled her behind and pounced on the toe of his boot.

  “Does it matter?”

  What was that supposed to mean? Did he not know how lucky he was not to have died in the middle of nowhere all alone? “Yes it does, someone is out there shooting innocent people, and probably robbing them too. You could have died.”

  “But I didn’t. Because of you.”

  “What would have happened to you if your horse hadn’t brought you into town?”

  “But he did.” He continued to play with Ashes who repeatedly stalked and pounced on his foot. Dodger raised his head from the rug and watched for a moment before resuming his nap.

  “Is this supposed to be a sermon on forgiveness?” she asked.

  He studied her once more. What exactly was he looking for when he watched her that way? “Are you the forgiving sort?”

  Leah shook her head at his whimsy. “I’m not the one who got shot.”

  He nodded his head in agreement. “Well”—he squeezed her foot and stood—“do you want something to eat?”

  “The way you keep setting food in front of me I’m going to be as big as Bet—as big as one of Jake’s cows, in no time.” Leah felt her skin burn at her almost slip. It really was hard to do good all the time. At least he wouldn’t be able to tell she was flushed with embarrassment. Not with all the spots on her skin.

  He shook his head. “I don’t think that will happen. At least not an
ytime soon. You’ll be up and back to work in no time. Just like before…” He looked off beyond her, out the window. First he was pensive, and now he was restless. Maybe he felt like he should be about his work. He was healed now. She hadn’t seen him favor his ribs for the past several days. She was better too, except for the rash, which made her want to hide until the spots were completely gone. That didn’t mean he couldn’t go out. There was no reason at all for him to hang around the house. Yet he stayed close by, as if there was no place else he’d rather be.

  Leah arranged the sheet over her quilt. She folded the hem evenly and smoothed it with her hand. “You don’t have to wait on me anymore,” she said. “I’m able to move about.”

  “I know.” He tilted his head to study her again. Leah felt suddenly more self-conscious than she had before. The thought that he’d seen her naked as the day she was born was not comforting at the moment. “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you.”

  Leah’s heart leapt into her throat. Was it Banks? Was he sick too? She blinked at the sudden rush of tears that threatened at just the thought of something being wrong with her son. “What is it?”

  “A coyote got one of your hens last night.”

  Leah put her hand to her heart and let out the breath she had not even realized she’d been holding. “At least it was only one,” she said. “Are you sure it was a hen and not Roscoe?”

  “Roscoe?”

  “My rooster. I named him after this man that lived in the same town as my grandmother and I. He wasn’t more than five feet tall in his stocking feet and wore his Sunday clothes every day of the week. He carried a cane with a shiny silver handle and always bowed and tipped his hat to the ladies when he passed them on the street. His name was Roscoe Peabody. His hair was long and very shiny and black.

  “Like the feathers on the rooster,” Cade said with a grin. “I’m glad to know his name now. It will make it easier for me to threaten him the next time he comes after my ankles.”

  “I don’t think he’d have a chance of getting at them with those boots you wear.”

  Cade looked down at his feet. A shadow crossed over his face, a realization of some sort that made him seem suddenly off-kilter. Or did she just imagine it?

  “He can thank my boots for keeping him out of the stew pot then,” he said and grinned once more, as if all was well. Wasn’t it? He walked to her bureau and touched the brush that lay there. He turned, and she saw that sadness in his eyes again. Ever since she’d awakened from her fever she hadn’t noticed it so much. She’d thought perhaps he had purged it when he told her about his past, about his mother’s death and his father’s abandonment.

  A pounding on the door interrupted whatever it was he was about to say. “Company again.” He grinned, shook his head, and went to the door with Dodger on his heels, as usual. It was funny how fast Dodger had taken to him. As if he now felt responsible for him after saving his life.

  Now that she was past the fever and the worst of the spots, people had come by. There had been a steady stream of visitors since she’d come out of the fever. Mostly Gretchen and Nonnie, who helped her wash up, and Dusty, who carried something over for them to eat every day and then would stay and talk about Peaches as if he was the smartest kitten ever born.

  Jim had brought Banks by one day after school. It had been a week since she’d seen him. He stood in the doorway, because she wouldn’t let him come any closer, and talked to her. She missed her son so terribly much.

  “Hello!” Leah recognized the voice. “I’m Margy. I’m the schoolteacher.” She must be here to discuss Banks’s schoolwork. Leah hoped he wasn’t using her illness as an excuse to fall behind. She wanted so much for her son. Something more than living and dying by the gun.

  “Pleased to meet you,” Cade said. “I’ll tell Leah you’re here.”

  “Oh no, I wouldn’t want to disturb Leah,” Margy trilled. “I’m sure she needs her rest.” She giggled. Leah’s mouth dropped open as she listened to the exchange. She’s giggling. Like an idiot! “I thought perhaps you could use a break?” Margy continued. “Maybe get out of the house for a bit? We could go over to Dusty’s and have some coffee if you’d like.”

  Would he go? Leave her here alone after so carefully watching after her all of these days. Leah listened carefully for his answer as she silently cursed Bettina for finally getting her way. Margy was here to catch herself a man.

  Ward stood on the porch of Heaven’s Gate and watched to see if Margy and the preacher came out again. As soon as he’d seen Margy walk down the street he knew she was going to see the preacher and not Leah. Bettina’s work no doubt, as Margy was the shy type.

  “Looks like the preacher has a suitor,” Ward remarked to Lady who sat by his side and watched the goings-on with her soft brown eyes. If he didn’t know any better he’d think spring was in the air, instead of Christmas fixing to sneak up on them. Thanksgiving would be here next week and the council was planning a big celebration to welcome the preacher, and of course give thanks that both he and Leah had survived their calamities.

  The weather was even smiling on them for a while. The skies were clear and the air mild enough to melt some of the snow. The street was passable and hopefully would remain so instead of dissolving into a quagmire of muck and mud, as was the case most times when the spring thaw was upon them. Swanson’s mercantile was busy and Ward knew his place would be hopping tonight, as it was Saturday and the miners and cowboys would be heading into town after suffering through the past few weeks with cabin fever. Pris certainly hoped so. He could hear her, upstairs, singing to herself as she washed her hair, so she’d be especially pretty to garner extra tips tonight.

  The arrival of Jake made things pretty much perfect. Not that Jake had been much company lately, what with his worry over the preacher moving in on his territory. Since Margy had thrown herself into the mix things might get interesting though.

  “Howdy,” Ward said as Jake rode up.

  “Howdy, yourself.”

  Yup, Jake was still in a mood.

  “What brings you to town so early on a Saturday?”

  “Gus wants the search committee to meet. We’re supposed to go visit with Pastor Key as one. Tell him it’s time to go to work.”

  “Looks to me like Margy went ahead without you.”

  “Huh?”

  “She just went down to Leah’s. And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t to check on the patient.”

  Jake looked up the street toward Leah’s house and grinned. “Well isn’t that an interesting turn of events.”

  “You mean to tell me you didn’t know that was Bettina’s intent as soon as she found out Pastor Key was young and single?”

  Jake scoffed. “I never pay attention to Bettina.”

  “Well that explains a lot then,” Ward said dryly.

  Jake shook his head and Ward laughed, which made Jake look at him in confusion. “For as smart as you are, you sure are dumb sometimes,” Ward said.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  Ward looked out over the street. “Not a dang thing.” Jake’s dismissal of Bettina was a big mistake on his part. The woman might be hard to take but she was smart and she was sly. If Jake had had enough sense to enlist the aid of Bettina in the first place, he might have Leah now instead of just pouting about it. It wasn’t as if Bettina hadn’t thought of it herself, but she wasn’t about to help him, since he didn’t put up with her nonsense.

  People were foolish sometimes, putting their pride above everything else. Pride was a sorry companion when you were alone. His life was a living testament to that.

  Gus came out of the store, buttoning his coat as he went and Jim exited his stable at the same time. “Maybe I’ll tag along to this committee meeting,” Ward said. “Might be that I’ll be interested in attending church one of these days.”

  Jake scraped some snow off the step with his boot. “I’d say hell was freezing over but since there’s a bit of a thaw going on…�
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  “Come on, Lady,” Ward said and the three of them joined up with Gus and Jim on the street.

  He never should have let her in, but dang it, he didn’t know the schoolmarm was there to see him, he just figured she’d come to talk with Leah about Banks’s schoolwork or something. Now he was stuck in the parlor and the woman was preparing to read him a sonnet. A sonnet! Cade was trapped. She stood between him and the door arranging her cookies on a plate. She offered them up to Cade with a smile. She was actually kind of pretty with her blue eyes magnified behind her glasses. But she wasn’t Leah.

  “I can’t believe you’ve been in town these few weeks and this is the first time we’ve met,” she said.

  “Well things have been a bit trying,” Cade replied. “And I’m just now getting back to normal.” He looked at the plates of cookies in confusion. They looked like blobs of oats with some sugar sprinkled on top.

  “It was my mother’s recipe,” Margy explained as she arranged her skirts before she primly sat on the edge of the sofa. “They don’t need to be baked.”

  Well that explained why they looked the way they did. Margy opened her book and cleared her throat. She looked over her glasses at Cade with much the same look he imagined she gave her students, and he suddenly felt the need to sit down. He took a seat in the rocker and mentally prepared himself for what he was certain was going to be a painful experience.

  At least I have some food to tide me over…Cade took a bite of the cookie and immediately choked. She looked at him with a hopeful smile and Cade gritted his teeth and swallowed.

  Margy began to read. “‘Wild nights, wild nights were I with thee, wild nights should be our luxury…’” She paused and looked at Cade. “Oh I just love Miss Dickinson, don’t you?”

  “Er.” Had he misheard her? Something about wild nights. Seriously? “I believe this is the first time I’ve heard her…”

  “Oh I hope you forgive me, I do not mean to offend,” she said. “I find her no more titillating than the Song of Solomon.”

  “I wouldn’t know,” Cade admitted. He did know the Song of Solomon. Jasper used to recite it when he posed as a preacher. He’d used it to seduce women. Any mention of it usually made him cringe.