Loose Possession

by Lily Roberts

“Mmmhmm,” she replied with a sly wink. “You two sure show it.”

  “Yeah, we’ve put some of our rivalry on ice to survive school together,” I’d joke to my old middle school teacher, Mr. Hawthorn.

  “I’d say so,” he replied with a grin. “You’re the spitting image of a couple!”

  “Seriously, let me pay for the cones,” I insisted to one of the undergrads I got to know before graduating.

  “Are you kidding? You two are way too cute together to not get something on the house.” She leaned in close, giggling. “I was rooting for you two to get together in the end.”

  Jesus. Just an entire afternoon of nothing but that.

  “Like, I know you’re treating this as some end-of-the-world scenario,” Scott joked as his tongue sneaking across his vanilla-chocolate swirl cone. “But if us being mistaken as a couple gets free ice cream, imagine what we could get if we walked into a department store.”

  I rolled my eyes, not entirely feeling up to eating my own, sherbet cone. “Is it seriously that unbelievable that we don’t hate each other anymore?”

  Scott took way too much of a lick, trying to catch some drips with his hands as he swallowed the ice cream way. A visible shudder ran across his skin, but soon enough, he looked perfectly fine. “The power of a hate boner is a visual wonder,” he quoted in a faux-sage tone. “I’m sure everyone just assumed underneath all that yelling was a massive amount of sexual tension between us. You know the thin line between love and hate. They probably thought we fought because we were trying to fight our feelings. That deep down we had the hots for each other.”

  “Oh gross, no” I insisted, turning his way for validation. Much to my surprise, Scott just looked back at me with a wide-eyed, somewhat contemplative stare. “We don’t…right, Scott?”

  He quickly returned to his ice cream cone, sculpting out deep ridges with his tongue. I stared at my own, melting treat, licking up a few drips while tumbling the idea around in my head. Scott and me? An actual couple? Hell, we’d been mistaken as one enough times today that I was starting to believe it. But to actually make it a thing…he was certainly quiet on the subject. “Hey, Scott,”

  “Ice skating.” He suddenly stood up, shoving the rest of the cone in his mouth while brushing his hands off on his pants. “We should totally go to the ice-skating rink.”

  “Wh-what?” That took me completely by surprise. “Where the hell did that urge come from?”

  Scott shrugged, the briefest flash of anxiety crossing his face before flickering into that usually, smarmy grin. “I dunno; guess the cold ice cream made me think of it. I’ve never been, but I’ve always wanted to go.”

  Now that I couldn’t believe. “You’ve never been ice skating?”

  Scott shook his head. “The guys thought it was too girly. That’s not actually what they said, but for the sake of your fragile innocence, I won’t repeat the words that came out of their foul mouths.”

  “Ooh, look at you, caring about my innocence.” I tossed my cone into the garbage, filled with satisfaction as it vanished into the bin with one attempt. “Your “friends” do know ice hockey is a thing, right? It’s like, one of the most violent sports I can think of.”

  “What can I say?” Scott laughed. “We had a one-track mind back then, constantly playing, “football” on a loop.” He stared at me, as if waiting for me to say something.

  “Wait, you mean right now?” I asked. “What about my folks’ party?”

  Scott waved his hands nonchalantly. “We’re not gonna be there all day. Just for a bit! Then we’ll head back for the party, promise.”

  What a weird fixation he suddenly had. I couldn’t even remember what I was thinking about before he brought it up. “Uh, yeah. All right. But you’re paying for your own damn skates.”

  “I thought you were just paying for me for the rest of your life?” Scott whined with a wink.

  “You had one chance with dinner, and you blew it,” I laughed. “Well, come on, then. The skate rink’s down this way.”

  ---

  So…Scott Sawyer. Probably one of the most athletic guys I know. Great stamina, a well-built frame; a guy I could see, and had seen, try and succeed at a number of sports. He was fast on the football field, easily ducking and weaving between the opposition and still able to coordinate his body to catch a ball while still running straight.

  But with all that God-given talent, he was an absolute mess on the ice and that was being kind.

  It was like watching a newborn deer try and stand up for the first time, only by now, the deer would be up and running. Poor Scott clung to the side of the rink, inching bit by bit while his legs wobbled like a bowl of jelly. I couldn’t help myself; I had to stare and watch this train wreck in action.

  “I-I told you, yah don’t have to stick around for my sake,” Scott grumbled, daring to take one hand away from the rail before it immediately flew back to grab it with vise-like strength.

  “Aww, and miss baby’s first ice-skating up close and personal?” I effortlessly glided around him, slowly weaving my blades across the ice to slowly skate backwards at his pace.

  “Y-Yeah, well, no one likes a show-off,” Scott hissed, nearly wiping out there and then.

  I came to a slow stop, feeling a little bad for being so merciless with him. “Hey, it’s okay. Everyone sucks the first time around. See?” I gestured towards the center of the rink, where a group of beginner students were sliding across with what looked like one of those old person walkers.

  Scott just shot me a look. “So, you’re saying I’ve got the balance of a six-year-old?”

  I couldn’t help myself; a giggling snort completely slid out of my mouth. “It’s called, “babies first” for a reason. But no, their balance is better than yours.” Aww, now he really looked upset. Time to turn teasing Sydney off for a bit. “You know, I’d be happy to hold your hand and keep your balance.”

  Another disgruntled look from the chattering-toothed face of Scott Sawyer. “No offense, Syd, but if I wiped out, I’d take you down with me. The last thing I wanna do is bring you back to your folks covered in bruises, or worse.”

  “Is that genuine concern I hear from you?” Shit, Sydney, turn it off. He was being one-hundred percent sincere, even going as far as to look somewhat hurt by my quip. “Well, just use that as motivation, then.”

  “Whaddaya mean?” Scott asked, interest suddenly piqued. Okay, I had his attention now.

  “Use me for balance. If you take me out even once, you owe me a milkshake at Sandy’s.” I challenged. “And you get to be totally embarrassed at my folks’ party tonight. I might even tell them about the kickball to the face incident.”

  There was the look I wanted to see; that little glint in Scott’s eyes whenever a competition was thrown down onto the table. “That sounds very much like a date, Sydney Burton. Are you officially asking me out?”

  It took a second to process what he’d just said. Was I? “If that gets your fire going, sure.”

  Scott immediately took both my hands and pushed himself off the wall, sending us gliding into the middle of the rink. Oh, God, I’d made a terrible mistake.

  “Dude, don’t make us crash!” I cried out, digging my blades into the ice so we re-directed away from said aforementioned small children practicing. Scott manage to autocorrect with my help, back wobbling back and forth as he tried to find his balance. Which, in turn, sent me into an absolute spasm. Christ, I didn’t realize he was this bad. “Seriously? The slightest hint of a date has you this motivated?”

  “Maybe I just want more free food from you?” Scott replied nonchalantly “I like free food.” His blade briefly caught, sending us forward across the ice. Mimicking my footwork from before, he managed to stop himself and reclaim his balance. Impressive.

  “What am I, a food bank?” I asked, carefully controlling myself as he inched forward once more. “No one person could ever afford to satiate that black hole of a stomach you got.”

  Scott tre
mbled a bit, feet starting to slide outward while I spoke. I managed to pull him back, the pair of us getting caught in a small spin while we made our way past a few other skaters. “H-Hey, I mean, you’re doing a good job filling up other parts of me.” One look told me he realized how awful that sounded, distracting him enough to make him lose form. Dizzy from the spin, I felt my arm tug as he went leaning to the side, certainly taking me down with him if he fell completely. Hey, that just meant I didn’t have to go on that date, then.

  The date I…suggested.

  Without really realizing what I was doing, I leaned into the momentum, catching my arm under his back and swinging him back upright. His back bumped up against the railing again, pressing my body close to his as we stared at each other for a moment, breathless, wide-eyed. The question came bubbling back through my mind, the one I wanted to ask beforehand, before this weird, ice-y adventure began.

  “Do you like me, Scott?” I asked, breath condensed and brushing across his red-tinged face. “I’m mean I know you like me, but do you like like me. More than a friend. Than what I originally set us out to be.”

  Scott looked like someone had grabbed his chest and was pressing hard onto it…I suppose that someone was me, given how close we’d gotten. “I…I didn’t think this far ahead, Hell, I didn’t think ahead at all,” he admitted. “I never thought we’d get in a situation like this.”

  It was true. A past me would’ve scoffed at what present me was doing. He’s an absolute jerk, she would’ve said. He’s using you, playing you along on a string and will eventually cut you off. It’s what he always did. It was just him.

  But that wasn’t who Scott was. And, to be honest, I wasn’t even sure he ever was. If it was ever only this large, expansive narrative I’d woven as that angry eight-year-old on the kickball field. I trusted my instincts once to let him in as a friend, and so far, I hadn’t regretted that. So, it was time to trust my instincts again.

  On the ice, with our breath intermingling, I kissed Scott Sawyer, willing and with full intentions, on those cold, chattering lips of his.

  This was the second time I’d been kissed by Sydney Burton. I wasn’t even sure if I could qualify the first for a, “consensual” kiss, though, since she was slightly tipsy. But there wasn’t any alcohol to get in the way this time; there, on the ice, Sydney straight-up leaned in a planted one on my big, dumb face.

  And, boy, did that big, dumb mood continue on for the rest of autumn break.

  I was practically walking on air for the rest of the evening, all through the party and while mingling with friends. Even the idiots I once hung out with noticed my much-improved mood from before and inquired heavily about it.

  “Dude, who put vodka in your cereal?” One of them asked.

  “He probably just hooked up with one of the hotties beforehand,” another quipped. “Did you notice Mary was here?”

  “Yeah, she just got better with time,” Another grinned.

  Nothing they said phased me in the slightest. I simply sauntered away from the group and got myself another plate of pigs-in-a-blanket, perfectly content with life as it was.

  Sydney Burton had willingly kissed me.

  I had no idea what that meant for us in the long run, but at least for now, I was happy with the idea that, maybe, we could become something a little more. Friends was step one, but who knew where this could head?

  Now I just had to not screw up.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I was in such a trance, I almost didn’t notice it before the last buzz went off. I pulled it out of my jacket pocket, immediately regretting doing so once I realized who it was.

  “Oh, do you need to take a call, Scott?” I heard Mrs. Burton ask. I wasn’t sure when she appeared next to me, but I wasn’t necessarily disappointed she did. Knowing where this was headed, I wanted as much privacy as I could get.

  “Uh, yeah,” I nodded, trying to hang tight to that good feeling in my chest. “My Mom’s blowing up my phone, is all. Guess I should check in on her.”

  Mrs. Burton’s expression softened, as if she knew exactly what the subtext of my sentence meant. I’m not sure how she would’ve known my parents were splitting, but then again, Red Rapids was a small place. It should’ve surprised me more that more people didn’t know. “Head on upstairs to me and the mister’s room. Take your time, okay?”

  With a curt nod, I hit the callback button and start towards the staircase, steeling myself for whatever bullshit was about to be thrown my way.

  For a moment, my attention was grabbed by the blur that was Scott Sawyer. He was practically sprinting towards the staircase, phone cupped against his ear as he seemed to be frantically whispering into it. Some instinctual part of me pulled towards him, wondering if he was going through some sort of emergency, if he needed help with anything.

  “Hellooooo? Earth to Sydney?”

  I blinked, turning my attention back to a very impatient-looking Mary. It was amazing how little she’d changed after graduation, from her overall looks to her general attitude. Not saying she became a bitch, but…maybe it was because I went away, or something? I was certain Mary and I were still friendly, but not, ‘friends,’ anymore. Talking to her just made me miss Denise, honestly.

  “Sydney? Seriously, did you hear a word I said?”

  I began to nod, attention fully back on our conversation. “Uh, yeah. Sorry. Guess something caught my eye for a second there.”

  Mary followed my gaze, lip curling into a disgusted frown. “Oh, that’s fine. Scott still has that effect, even now.”

  Now it was my turn to frown, albeit not as cruelly as Mary was. “I know it sounds insane, but he’s changed so much since college.”

  “Oh, you have to say that,” Mary pointed out. “You’re stuck on campus with him, after all. It must be exhausting to pretend and be nice with him all day.”

  Holy crap, and I used to hang out with Mary willingly.

  “But, yeah,” Mary stirred her drink with a toothpick from one of the hors d'oeuvres, “I just got back from my extended trip out of the States.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Mary tipped her drink to her lips, a mile-wide smile plastered on her face. “Yeah. It’s beautiful this time of year—totally glad I got my swimsuit body ready for it.”

  “Right, right.”

  Mary’s smile quickly flipped back into a frown. “Do you even know where I’m talking about, Sydney?”

  I glanced behind my shoulder, back at the staircase. “Uh, sorry. I’m sure the rapids are nice this time of year for sure.” I can feel her eyes drilling in the back of my head, so I quickly turn back to Mary with a genuine apology. “I’m really sorry, Mary. I’m listening, I promise.”

  Mary huffed, carefully crossing her arms over her chest as to not spill her drink. “Seems like you’re way more interested in that football spazz than your bff.”

  Yeah, and I’d honestly rather be hanging out with him right now than you. “I just noticed he went upstairs in a rush. I hope nothing happened at home.”

  It was like the light of God had shown down up on Mary as she let out a long, “oooooooh.” I cocked a brow, knowing full well she was going to try and keep this reveal from me for as long as she could. “What.”

  “Nothing,” Mary replied nonchalantly as she gave her drink another stir with the toothpick.

  “What’s going on with Scott?” I asked again.

  Mary shrugged.

  “Mary, seriously,”

  Her lips pulled into a pout. “Well, if you’re such good friends with him all of a sudden, shouldn’t you know? I mean, the whole town’s pretty much aware. It’s a small town, everybody knows everything about everybody.”

  Then why the hell do you of all people know? “Just, tell me what’s up. Are his parents okay?”

  Another shrug from Mary as she tipped her glass to her lips. “I mean…technically, they are.”

  Oh my God, I literally had no patience for this. Without another word, I waved Mary
goodbye and started for the stairs, completely tuning out her calling out my name. Jesus, how did I ever survive high school with such a nightmare cast of people? Guess Scott really was the best person out of all of them in the end.

  “Where yah going, sweetheart?” My Mom caught me by the hand as I started up the first few steps.

  “I wanted to check on Scott,” I began, trying to slip free of her grip. “He didn’t look so hot on the phone just now.”

  My Mom suddenly looked nervous. “It’s…personal, sweetheart. He might want privacy.”

  I let her pull me back down the flight, though I refused to make any other expression but a scowl. “Well, it’s apparently not personal enough for the entire town to know. Ma, Mary knows what’s up, and she doesn’t even live here anymore!”

  “I know, but,” My Mom glances around, then gestures me to the kitchen. Christ. I dutifully followed after her, resolving to go back upstairs after she had a ‘chat’ with me. “Listen, Sydney. I think it’s great that you and Scott have put the past behind you. From the bottom of my heart, you two really seem like a great pair.”

  “Platonically-speaking or romantically-speaking?” I asked, a touch of irritation working its way into my voice. I mean, sure, I’d totally, willingly, kissed Scott at the ice rink, but that didn’t mean we were official, right? The French kissed each other all the time, and none of them ever made a big deal out of it.

  My Mom let out a sigh. “That’s not what matters, love. You’re…close to him in some regard, now. Don’t you think you’re the better person for leaving his personal business alone? You’re far more supportive by giving him the space he needs than those who poke their nose around.”

  “But everyone knows,” I began arguing.

  “And if he wants to let you know, he will,” My Mom finished, arms settling against her hips in that, “you-know-I’m-right” stance I’d seen all my life growing up. “Wouldn’t it be more rewarding to see that he trusted you with that personal bit of information?”

  She had me there. I raised my hands in defeat, bowing to her almighty, Mom/Yoda wisdom. “All right, point taken. I’ll leave him alone. Happy?”