5 Words: Paradox Ink Trilogy

by Melanie Walker

  I dig my nails down his back, wrapping my legs around his hips and digging my heels into his ass, pushing him deeper if possible. I look at him feeling another orgasm rise inside of me. His eyes sear into me as mine roll. Screams tear from my throat as I coat him in my come, the slapping sound of him inside me is undeniably sexy.

  “I’m coming, Mya, so deep. I will overflow your cunt baby, you are mine. Fuck Mya, mine!” He yells and pins me to the wall, buried deep as he thrusts, almost without moving as his cock pulses inside of me until he has given me every drop.

  He pulls from me slowly as he sets my feet to the ground. My hands braced on his shoulders as he goes to his knees and rests his forehead on my belly.

  I feel his come as it streams slowly down my thigh. I feel wet, slick, and hot, but I only want more even though neither of us can breathe. Reverently, I hear him speak against my flesh. “So fucking hot watching my cum slide out of you.” I feel his fingers as he swipes the cum on his fingers and draws it back into me, swirling it inside of me. Fingers in me, on my clit, as he keeps thrusting them, though gentler from earlier. He forces another orgasm from me, drenching his hand, my pussy, and the floor where I landed when I couldn’t stand anymore, and finally pulling his hands free.

  I watch enthralled, turned on, and a little shocked as he licks his fingers clean.

  “Sam-” I say with shock knowing they were inside me, both of our orgasm on his fingers.

  “Mya-” he mocks with a sinister smile. “Don’t freak out. I just wanted to see if we taste as good as we feel.”

  His words take the shock away and fill me with warmth.

  “And?” I ask, slipping my own fingers through the wet mess we made before bringing it to my tongue.

  “And we are true perfection, Pet,” he says and carries me until we fall to my bed and start it all over again. Softer, but just as intense.

  Sully

  For the last two days I have shut the world out. Answering only when it is Deja, those on the case, or Asa and Noah. I have remained at Mya’s side, smothering her I am sure. Though, I don’t think she minds. I only feel sane when I am with her. She doesn’t try to understand what I am going through. Rage, sadness, vengeance, numbness… all the emotions. She goes through them with me never, trying to explain it away.

  I haven’t left this bed unless it’s to take care of business or shower-shit-shave sort of thing. I have stayed here and gone at her without complaint, or disposition from her. Rage fucking like the first night, passion and emotional fucking, more rage fucking. Then, last night around three in the morning, she rode me as I cried lost in my own pain and she wouldn’t let me be alone. She rode me as I wept. It was strange and at times I felt foolish, but the pain was as raw as we both are.

  As I slip inside of her now, my cock raw from the amount of time I have spent inside her, the friction burning me up, I slowly withdraw as she whimpers. I kiss her, my hands cupping her face. “I’m sorry, baby. You’re hurt.”

  I try to withdraw, but she holds me inside with her hands on my ass. “You need me,” she says, her words soft as she kisses along my neck.

  I slip my hand between us and feel her swollen pussy. I feel like a son-of-a-bitch. I get between her legs and open her up with my thumbs, so careful not to hurt her. She is red as a rose, and so wet and warm. The lips of her pussy are swollen from my restless fucking and my addiction to sucking on them when I eat her out.

  “No more fucking,” I say, pressing a gentle kiss to her pussy before getting a hot washcloth from her bathroom and a bottle of lube from her drawer. “Spread your legs, baby,” I say, seeing the shiver over her body at the endearment I rarely use.

  I use the cloth to soothe her before gently rubbing the lube through her lips, moistening her. Touching her has me rock hard and even though it hurts, I keep stroking my dick every time I re-adjust.

  Mya settles my soul completely with her next words. “Then, I will make love to you, my crow.”

  She shifts to settle over my lap. Her now soaked pussy is sliding on my cock, courtesy of the lube I just filled her full of.

  “Make love, huh? I like to fuck.”

  I thrust up against her and slip inside against my best efforts to be a gentleman.

  “Well, I’m not against fucking you, but I am so fucking in love with you I can’t hold back anymore.”

  I still, just as she does when she sits up. My dick fully inside her as she covers her mouth. She closes her eyes and lets out a sigh. “I don’t know why I said that. It’s too much.”

  I see these big tears in her perfect eyes and my heart stops.

  “Hey,” I say as she tries to get off me. I hold her in place and put her hand in mine. “You love me?”

  I wait on her answer like it is my next breath. Desperate to hear her tell me she does.

  She nods and her tears fall. “I knew the night I gave you my virginity, but you are so overwhelmed by everything and it’s too much-”

  I pull her to me until her mouth is on mine and kiss her without the gentleness I plan to use, when I take her. My kiss is raw and full of everything I feel for Amiyah Dorian. I roll, my cock throbbing inside of her and don’t break the kiss as I thrust slow, so fucking slow, into her.

  She rips her mouth free of mine to cry out and I pause, scared it still hurt her. “Sorry, baby. I am so sorry,” I say, but like a selfish pig, I relish her hands cupping my ass to draw me back in.

  “It’s so raw, I feel everything, but it’s good, so painfully good,” she says, moaning against my chest as I thrust in again, just as slow.

  I have her so primed, drenched in lube and her own natural juices, that there’s no friction. Just pure wet torture.

  I rest my elbows on the side of her head and go slow, looking her in the eyes as I bare my soul. “Understand when I say this that there is no going back. I never wanted to love you. I knew if I let you in, I was done for. I did everything I could to stay away. I can tell you I love you, but it is deeper than that. I love to tattoo. I love to drink a beer and watch Jeopardy. I love to fuck, but, you Mya, I need you. Yeah, it’s love, but it’s deeper. More intense. It’s devotion, utter devotion. Adoration, passion, fire, and need. It’s everything, Mya. You are everything.”

  I pause and look at her as my cock drills her slowly, no rush to end this. The words I want to say are ones I have only ever said to one other soul, and I know I love Mya just as fierce. “You, Mya, you are my favorite color.”

  Sobs rack her body at my admission as I make slow sweet love to her through her tears, letting her feel the intensity of what I said. She alone knows that depth. She knows because I let her deep enough. “You are mine, too, Sam. I never knew it existed until you.”

  I feel my own tears, but I refuse to cry and fuck at the same time ever again. I devote myself to her pleasure, making her come as many times as I can until I fill her up, and we both fall asleep for hours.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Nothing you would take, everything you gave

  Hold me till I die… meet you on the other side.

  Mya

  I wake and find it near impossible to move. I lost my virginity five short nights ago, but feel like the last three days and nights were spent breaking my virgin body in, and ensuring I am fully Sam Sullivan’s.

  I don’t mind the pain. I remember every thrust, touch, tear, and scream. I recall his words from yesterday, telling me I am his favorite color. He told me once that Kace was his favorite color and always would be. I accepted it and never expected more from Sam. The minute he said those words, those five words that mean everything to me? I knew he wasn’t replacing her. He was making room in his heart for the both of us. Kace, who I never met, is the only person on this earth to know what it feels like to be loved like that. It made us kindred in a sweet, but sad way.

  I look to the heavens and promise her that I will always love him and stand by him. It is just me now and I swear to her I will protect him. I feel his hands pull me against his chest,
my back now flush with his body. I don’t know if he is awake yet or sleeping because he pulls me into him when he needs me- even in sleep.

  “You’re warm, rainbow girl,” he says, his voice just above whisper like it always is when he wakes up. I giggle at the nickname and know it is his way of reminding me he meant what he said.

  I stroke my fingers on his arm and kiss his fingers. He is delaying the inevitable today. I know he dreads what is coming. “We need to get up and get ready,” I say, careful to not upset him.

  “I’ve been up for a while. I wanted to write a little something for her… I don’t know. I hate today, Pet.” He withdraws from me and rolls to sit up with his legs off the side of my bed. “I need to get to my place and get dressed.”

  I nod and scoot to his side, sitting beside him as I place sweet kisses along his fully tattooed back. It would take me a lifetime to decipher every tattoo on him and the detail. “I can come with you and get ready there, or meet you there. Your call, babe.”

  He needs to process this however he feels most comfortable, and if it means being alone, I defend that. The fact he wrote her something in bed beside me made me feel like a hero. For whatever reason he knew I was there for him. He looks over his shoulder and kisses my forehead as my head rests there. “With me. I need you, Pet. If you aren’t there, I’m scared I’ll chicken out like a pussy.”

  His words break my heart. Not because I think they are true, but because I know he doesn’t want to bury his baby. “Then, that’s what we will do.”

  I stand from the bed and we both decide to shower here. We minded ourselves and kept the shower to a PG-13 setting. I get out first, and head to my closet and start looking for the outfit I want to wear. Shoes, stockings, all the shit a girl needs as he stands naked and wet in the doorway of my walk-in watching me. “Are you wearing that under the dress?” he asks.

  I look down at the lacey black lingerie and nod as I walk slowly toward him. “I can’t concentrate on anything knowing you have that on under your clothes.”

  I chuckle and hug him close, loving the wet skin I embrace. “I can where my eighteen-hour bra and granny panties if it would help?”

  He laughs now and shakes his head no. “No, still sexy.”

  I love that he is willing to laugh and make a few simple jokes. I know he is hurting and it kills me, but if he cries, I cry. He laughs, I’m laughing with him.

  Sully

  We walk in a small room off the side of the funeral home where family and closest friends are gathered. Mya’s hand in mine and Cordell’s hand in Deja’s we enter the room as one. I see the pale pink flowers everywhere. So many people sent flowers. Police departments, churches, organizations for missing and exploited children, news crews and magazines.

  I see a donation from the child care she attended when she was two, as well as one from Livingston Public Relations. Tayla.

  There’s a huge display over her casket from My studio and Deja’s. It was probably Noah or Asa that got in touch with them to make sure the biggest display over her casket was our families.

  The four of us walk to Agent Sorell and Frye, who are present in the room with their wives. Deja hugs Mark first as I take a handshake hug from Frye and a tight hug from Mark. “I want you to know I’ll still check in on you. I will never forget Kace, and maybe one day we can commemorate her on my skin.”

  I am honored he wants that and find myself choked up by it. “Absolutely.”

  We greet everyone in the room, Mya never leaving my side. Last, we are at my pop’s precinct and my family, as so many people tell us the impact of Kace. My pop crying undoes me, and I cry for the first time today, in his arms.

  “You are my only son and not a day goes by I don’t thank the Lord for that Samuel. I love you, son. She was my sunshine, she always will be.”

  I nod and hold him tighter before letting him go and catching my breath. Now, it is my people. Each of my guys hand me a small line drawing of her name. Each of them showing me where they placed her on their skin. I promise them I will make sure they are buried with her and the letters Deja and I wrote her.

  “I had Chad do the art on her coffin. There are no flowers there yet. We wanted you to see it here with us before the world sees it,” Noah explains, and places his arm on my shoulder opposite Mya, who steps aside so Chad can stand on the other side of me. I appreciate it,, but want her near. “Mya-”

  “I’m right here behind you, babe,” she says, knowing I need her close.

  We step up to the tiny casket that no parent should ever have to buy. I notice the work immediately. It is a framed photo Kace drew me when she would hang in the shop with me. I was drawing up a tatt for a client and she imitated me the whole time. She would pause when I paused and sigh when I sighed. I had drawn a mandala, but Kace? She drew a rainbow with two puffy white clouds on each end. I remember showing De` how spot on it was for a three-year-old, but it made sense. Both her parents are artists, Deja had said before framing it for me the next day.

  I see that rainbow, just as she drew it and look to Chad with overwhelming gratefulness. “Thank you, bro,” Is all I can say, words thick in my throat as I hold back my tears.

  “No problem, man. It was an honor,” he says, and pulls Mya up to stand beside me. I trace her name in a beautiful font with her birthday and nothing else.

  I spend a few minutes with her alone, telling her goodbye, and placing my letter near the casket with all the line drawings from my guys. There is a small basket there for these items that the mortician will place inside before locking the casket. I look at the letter and read it for the millionth time today, hoping it is perfect for this finality.

  My last moments here alone with her are private and for me. I just pray to God she heard them.

  The service was beautiful and done with class. There was so much love for her there and it was felt by everyone. At the mausoleum, I stayed until they told me I had to move to finish sealing her in.

  I didn’t want to. I wanted to watch her seal up in her final rest right on their heels. I was scared some unseen evil force would come and take her again, so I walked two mausoleums over where my Ma is entombed as they sealed my girl in.

  I was alone here, in peace, for the first time in the last week. I cried as I thought of her. I prayed for peace for Deja, Pop, and myself. I spent those last few moments with her until she was safely entombed beside my ma and grandparents. I kissed the stone that sealed her in knowing her plaque would be in a few weeks from now. I went to my moms and placed my hand on her name and begged her to keep Kace safe for me until I got there.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The reminders pull the floor from your feet

  In the kitchen one more chair than you need

  Oh, and you’re angry and you should be, It’s not fair

  Just `cause you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

  Mya

  We made it to the wake a little late because Sully insisted on waiting until she was sealed in. I understood the fear and stayed at the car when Noah and Carrie told me they were going to go set it up. TAT paid for a private banquet room in a local bar on the outskirts of Tacoma. It was strange to have a security team at the door requesting a code from everyone entering.

  They made sure everyone’s code was different and scanned the barcode where they left it at the entrance. I understood it, but it was sad he needed security like this for his daughters wake. The News media would be all over the funeral though. Kace Sullivan’s funeral was televised at parts as the state of Washington mourned her.

  This was the private wake where anyone could speak. Lexington was scheduled to sing Hallelujah and Thick as Thieves were singing an unknown song as well.

  “You ready, babe?” I ask, as we make our way inside.

  “As I’ll ever be,” he says, gripping my hand tight. “Did you get the bag with my change of clothes?” he asks me, and I nod.

  “Thank fuck. I am less anxious here because this is private and
personal, and chill. I just want to relax now.”

  We show our ID’s and the wristbands that we were given so we could be led through the back unseen. Drake was the head of TAT’s security since the beginning and had sadly managed security for a few funerals in his career with them.

  “How you holding up?” he asks Sam after he hugs me.

  “Shitty, but solid I think,” Sam says, and Drake chuckles.

  “Graphic, but logical.”

  Now, Sam laughs and I can feel the tension in him dissipate. Just a little, but it’s a start.

  “I’ll be in after we shut the doors down, but I am out here until then.”

  “I will make sure there’s no dedications until you let me know we can start,” Sam explains, and Drake shakes his hand before using a key card to open the back door to the kitchen.

  “Straight through, then go left at the double doors. There’s a private office for you.” We both thank him and enter the room to change.

  He watches me strip down until I am in the lacey black lingerie and his eyes follow my every movement. “You didn’t change into the granny garments?”

  I laugh and blow him a kiss. “I have to keep you guessing.”

  He pulls me by the waist until I am flush against him. “I won’t be initiating a tricky quickie in here even if I want to, but I wanted to tell you… You are perfect, absolutely.”

  I kiss him softly, but with intent as my tongue touches his for the briefest moment. “I love you, crow.”

  He closes his eyes and kisses my forehead. “I love you, butterfly.”

  Sully

  I sit in a booth next to the stage. It is softly lit, but not like a bar. There is a table of candles in front of the stage with a guest book and framed photos of Kace. Every time someone speaks, they light a candle after they do, and the candles are placed in various spots on the stage.