Lost Filthy Night_A Small Town Rockstar Romance

by Vivian Lux

  The memory came only in flashes now. Pictures, like snapshots in time. Noelle leaping to her feet. My manager’s smile as he zipped up his jeans.

  The rose-gold engagement ring bouncing a little when it fell from my hand.

  “Gabe?” Everly hissed. She slid her arm through mine. “Hey, Gabe?”

  I took a deep, steadying breath. The therapist gave me a bright, confused smile and held out her hand. “I’m Kristyn,” she said, in a low, throaty voice that sounded nothing like Noelle’s.

  Because she wasn’t Noelle.

  “This is Gabriel King,” Everly piped up. She tugged a little on my arm and I felt myself being propelled forward. She had my arm tight in hers, and it felt good to lean on her. Just a little. She was solid and strong, but her fingers were long and delicate and the way they curled around my bicep was doing a lot to push the memory of my ex out of my brain. “And I’m his nurse, Everly Foster.”

  “Beverly?”

  Everly grimaced. “No B,” she said tightly. “Gabe is here for his first appointment.”

  “What she said,” I grumbled as Everly let go of me so I could fit through the door. My arm felt cold without her holding it.

  Kristyn shut the door behind her. “Have a seat,” she said, gesturing to the padded table nearest us.

  I looked around. The place was bigger than I had expected. It looked like a cross between a workout gym and a massage parlor. A tinny, staticky radio played in the corner and I had to chuckle when I heard the song that was playing through the busted speakers. “Seriously?”

  “I used to love this song,” Kristyn said casually as Jonah’s voice warbled through the space. My fingers still made the shapes of the guitar chords out of habit but at least I didn’t bust out with my harmonies out of some perverted reflex. My voice was probably shit by now anyway. I hadn’t played music since we broke the band up. “Is it weird?” Kristyn asked. “Being back home again after…” she gestured to the radio where my brothers and I shout-sang about dynamite kisses going one two three boom. “After all that?”

  All while she was busily paging through my chart, her eyes were firmly on me and I wondered if she still had her laminated “Princess Sisters: The Official Fan Club of the King Brothers” card in her wallet.

  “Which one was your favorite?” Everly interjected before I could answer. She shot me another one of her evil grins.

  Kristyn gave me a guilty look. “Beau,” she mumbled quickly. “He’s so sensitive.”

  “He’s got a big lumberjack beard now,” I told her. “Looks like a woodsman.”

  She shook her head a little and laughed. “No way,” she said, clinging to her perception of poetic Beau, The Quiet One.

  “I liked Jonah,” Everly said.

  “You and everyone else,” I muttered.

  “He was always too arrogant for me,” Kristyn said, shaking her head.

  I cleared my throat. “Me too,” I said, with a sigh.

  She laughed. “Well, shall we get started then?”

  I looked between her and Everly. “Sure, I mean, unless you two wanted to do some more gossiping about my brothers while I waited.”

  Everly just laughed, but Kristyn reddened noticeably and jumped over to stand next to me. “Slide off the table for me?”

  I glared at her, but dutifully followed instructions, leaning heavily on my crutches.

  “Right, and let’s just…” She took the crutches from me. One and then the other.

  And for the first time in three months, I stood under my own power.

  Each heartbeat was as loud as a church bell in my head. My nerves jangled. But out of the corner of my eye, I could see Everly watching me closely and that was the only reason I didn’t sit back down again. After that debacle in the bathroom, I wanted her to see me standing. I wanted to impress her for reasons I didn’t fully understand.

  So I gritted my teeth and gave Everly a smile.

  She sat up a little straighter. That was it. But it was enough to make me want to see what other kinds of reactions I could pull from her.

  I exhaled sharply. “How does that feel?” Kristyn asked. I’d almost forgotten she was there, but she was right at my side, a faint smile twitching around her lips. I wondered if she got off on watching big guys like me sweat it out through the pain. “You’re all hunched. Try standing straighter, please.”

  Straightening up was torture. My ribs twanged like guitar strings, reminding me that I was still at their mercy whenever they might feel like stealing my breath. Inside of my ankles, it felt seriously unstable, like one stiff breeze could knock me down. “I feel like I’m sliding around in there,” I said, gesturing downward. I kept my voice low so Everly couldn’t hear me complain.

  Kristyn nodded like this made a damn bit of sense. “Your muscles have atrophied from weeks of lying down,” she said in a normal volume. I glanced in Everly’s direction and wished like hell Kristyn would keep her voice down. “We’ve gotta get your strength back up again.”

  “Yeah,” I said. If I said anything more than that, my voice would betray me. Show how fucked up in the head I was feeling about maybe never walking properly again.

  “I want to watch your gait, so follow me. Over here, please.” I shuffled like an old man behind her until we reached some weighted contraption. “You’ve definitely got some work to do with balance but for now we need to get your strength up.”

  “Yeah, no shit,” I hissed.

  “Right, so go ahead and put your feet right here,” she said, gesturing to a black footpad.

  “Uh huh.” It looked like a stability ball but it was square instead of round. I glanced at her. “What happens now?”

  There was a smile playing around her lips as she looped a rubbery piece of fabric—a stability band like those I recognized from Noelle’s Pilates obsession—underneath my foot and handed me the two ends. She looked at me, eyes gleaming.

  She was enjoying this.

  “Pull up,” the manicured sadist smiled.

  I tugged on the ends and a strangled cry tore out of my throat. “Slow down!” Everly barked before Kristyn could say a word. “Don’t overdo it!”

  My whole body was soaked with sweat and I was panting with exertion. Fucking pathetic.

  “Try again,” Kristyn said lightly.

  But her voice was fading from my ears as I looked over at my nurse. Everly was watching, her big round eyes taking in how badly I was failing right now. Her hair was starting to dry from the rain and fuzz back up into a little halo of baby curls around her face. When she caught me looking, she pressed her lips together. Whether it was pity or disapproval, I hated it. I didn’t want her looking at me like that. She’d hauled me to my feet like I weighed nothing. This was fucking humiliating.

  I gritted my teeth and coaxed ten reps out of one ankle, then ten out of the other out of sheer force of ego. Then I glanced at Everly again.

  Was that a ghost of a smile on her lips? I lifted my chin at her and gave another grin. “Maybe next I’ll try dressing myself?”

  “Don’t get ahead of yourself now,” my nurse called.

  “Right. I don’t want to deprive you of the opportunity to stare at my body again.”

  She reddened, which gave me enough strength to do five more reps on each side.

  Over the next hour, Kristyn guided me through a series of exercises so minute they felt like they should barely register. By the end, I was ready to cry out for mercy.

  But Everly was watching, so that wasn’t happening.

  “Okay, last bit!” Kristyn cried. “Let’s do ten steps unassisted. Can you try that for me?”

  “No problem,” I told her. “As long as you don’t make me use the band again.”

  I straightened back up. “Like this now. Short steps. Keep your center of gravity over your front foot.”

  I looked up at Everly. She was watching me, her lips pressed together. Her expression had slowly morphed over the past hour from irritation to attention.

&nb
sp; “Got it,” I said. Everly nodded a little like she got it too.

  “Ten steps,” Kristyn repeated. “Ready and…one!”

  Without the boot on, I felt like I was sliding around inside of my own skin. But I stepped forward, mimicking her mincing gait. “Slow down,” she instructed. “You don’t want to overdo it.”

  “You just told me to do more,” I reminded her, taking another step, then another. I was doing it. Laughing, I took another step, the rush of triumph making my blood sparkle.

  “Gabe!” Everly said sharply, leaping to her feet.

  “What?” I looked up at her tense face. “I’m just walking. How can I get hurt by walking?” I laughed, feeling the adrenaline spike higher.

  It had been ages since I’d felt this, the excitement of sitting just on the edge of too much to handle. The power that came from pushing through my body’s self-preservation and fucking going for it. Even if it was something as tiny and unimpressive as walking again, it was still a fucking rush. “Ha!” I shouted as I sprang forward, sweat dampening my brow. “See that? You fucking see that?” Everly was watching me. I took five more steps, faster and faster until, whooping loudly, I half-hugged, half fell against her.

  She stumbled back but caught herself, her arms reflexively wrapping around me to keep us both from tumbling to the floor. Hands grabbed and clung as we regained our balance and I slowly realized I had her clutched tightly in my arms.

  “I did it,” I panted, my cheek pressed against her hair. I could smell rainwater and shampoo and something sweet and subtle that had me inhaling again and again. Her hair was so soft. “I did it,” I repeated, my voice a little tighter.

  She tilted her head and I felt her hand brush up my back. Her fingers pressed in ever so lightly against my back and that maddening brain tickle made me look down at her again. She looked up at me.

  I had my balance again, and I didn’t need her help to stand, but all of a sudden, I didn’t want to let go.

  Chapter Six

  Everly

  There was something in his voice. I didn’t think I was imagining it.

  He was remembering me now.

  He had to be.

  I was remembering too. It was all right there, like it was happening again. Without my permission, my hand went sliding up his back. Heat was rising off his skin from his exertion and his scent was everywhere. Under my fingers, the muscles in his back coiled and stretched. My brain was short-circuiting as I traced those muscles so defined he was like a living anatomy textbook. Latissimus dorsi, I mentally recited. Levator scapulae, splenius capitis. I found myself wondering hysterically if he could help me study for my boards this way.

  “You’re okay now,” I whispered to him. I wasn’t sure why I was whispering other than it felt right. “You can stand on your own.”

  But he didn’t move. And neither did I. We stayed there in this strange embrace that made the impersonal space of the therapy room seem completely intimate. All we needed was for the lights to go out and it would be like that night again.

  Though his hands were still, a kind of radiation spiraled off them. I could feel his touch in places his hands had never been, raising goosebumps on my skin in twining trails all through my body.

  If presented with these symptoms by a patient I would start treating for a fever, but I felt completely healthy. I felt more than healthy, I felt…

  Fucking wonderful.

  He inhaled again and I felt his chest hitch, hold, and then relax again as he exhaled. Like he was about to say something, but thought better of it. I waited for him to realize he could stand on his own and let go of me, even though I didn’t actually want him to. I waited for him to mention the kiss.

  Instead he pulled me ever so slightly closer. My leg brushed against his and I was acutely aware of heat gathering in my belly as my head spun dizzily.

  Presented with these symptoms, I would start treating for sunstroke. Administer clear liquids. Apply a cold compress to back of neck…

  Gabe’s lip brushed down and I felt his breath against my ear, which made me shiver. For hypothermia, warm the body’s core temperature slowly. “I remember you,” he said.

  All of my studying flew out of my head and I couldn’t think of anything but the way his breath tickled my neck. “Everly Foster. From next door.”

  He chuckled, a low and thrilling sound that made my toes dig into my shoes. “You probably thought I didn’t remember you, but I do.”

  I opened my mouth, and then closed it. Then blinked as warmth traveled up from my belly and right up to the space behind my eyes. Shit. I was not going to cry. Why the fuck did I feel like I wanted to cry? For panic attacks encourage the patient to take slow, deep breaths…

  I pulled back and looked at him. His arms tightened like he wasn’t ready to let me go. I had the strangest feeling of surreality, like I’d stepped into someone else’s life. Someone interesting. Someone far more fascinating than boring old me. The way he was looking at me now had me wondering if this was all a delusion and I was about to wake up and find that I’d fallen and hit my head.

  “Right,” he said, nodding. “You’d come over with your parents to those barbecues my parents always had, right? And you have a sister too, don’t you?”

  My lips were still parted, the “yes” still on my tongue. I stared at him and swallowed it back down before I could blurt out what I thought he was going to say. My stomach twisted and I felt nauseous. And once again an anger I had no business feeling took hold of me, making my heart start racing. I settled my hand on his arm and gently untangled myself from his embrace.

  “I remember you too!” Kristyn piped up. She appeared at our side and I realized that while it had felt like a lifetime standing there wrapped in Gabe’s arms, in reality it had only been a few seconds at best. She was holding Gabe’s crutches for him, but she was looking at me. “Your sister was in my class!” she burst out. “We were lab partners! Oh my god, how is Abby doing? I hear she’s like traveling the world now, right?” She shook her head like we all were the best of friends. “I thought your name sounded familiar!” She screwed up her nose. “But you said Everly, right? Why do I remember it being Beverly?”

  For nausea, first determine if the patient has consumed anything poisonous that would require a trip to the emergency department.

  I pulled back from Gabe, taking the crutches from Kristyn and shoving them at him in one smooth motion. “It’s Everly,” I told Kristyn, already a million miles away from this conversation. “Common mistake.” I looked at Gabe. “Ready to go? I’ll grab your coat.”

  His tongue flicked out to wet his lips. He was looking at me as if something had him completely confused.

  But Kristyn was still stuck on her trip down memory lane. “Funny,” she mused. “I must have gone over to Abriella’s house a million times, but I never remember seeing you.” She looked up from her chart at me with a big smile on her face. “Did you hide in your room a lot?”

  I pressed my lips together. Abriella had a zillion friends, all of them blonde and perfect like Kristyn. Petite, pretty girls who understood social rules on a level I never could. When I was younger I used to hang out on the landing and watch them through the banister, trying to decode the mysteries of their popularity, but one afternoon Abby caught me spying on her and threatened to tell mom I was being weird again. So I never spied again.

  I also never managed to learn the rules either. “I don’t know,” I said, shoving Gabe’s coat at him. “Maybe.”

  Kristyn turned her mouth down in an exaggerated frown. “Weird. It’s like… you weren’t even there.” She looked at me for a moment while I held my breath. It felt like my feet were nailed to the floor.

  Then she smiled and shook her head. “Well, tell Abby I said hello, okay? Next time she’s in town I want to hear all about her adventures.”

  “Sure,” I said. I didn’t look at her. I didn’t look at Gabe. I kept my eyes in front of me the whole ride home, so I didn’t notice how many
people just plain didn’t notice me at all.

  Chapter Seven

  Gabe

  First the voices were muffled, like I was hearing them underwater. I swam upward as they got louder and more distinct. “Wake him up? Is he okay? Ha, he’s drooling, you see that?”

  Slowly I opened my eyes. The sunroom swam back into focus. As did four faces peering over my bed.

  My sister Claire was hovering over my left elbow with that bossy-baby-sister expression on her face. Next to her stood my youngest brother Finn, looking like he was about to crack up laughing at any moment. Which I guess was better than his usual quick-to-take-offense scowl. At the foot of the bed loomed Finn’s twin, the older by five minutes Beau. His worried expression was nearly masked by all the freaking hair he’d recently started to let grow on his face.

  And then there was my older brother Jonah near my right hand. Although given how he’d been acting lately, I was surprised to see him there rather than up my ass like he usually was. “What do you all want?” I croaked at my siblings.

  “Jesus, there you are,” Claire complained. “You’ve been asleep for four straight hours. I was worried one of us was going to have to wake you up.”

  “We drew straws,” Finn added. “None of us wanted to be the one to get punched in the face.”

  “I don’t have the range of motion to punch anyone in the face,” I sighed as I rolled over. I was stiff and sore all over. “Fuck.”

  Jonah looked worried. “You okay?”

  I winced as I pushed myself higher in the bed. “PT was a bitch,” I explained through gritted teeth. I was sore in places I didn’t know it was possible to be sore. A far cry from how I’d felt at the actual appointment.

  I remembered how good I’d felt walking for the first time. How high and triumphant. In a fit of celebration, I’d hugged Everly and for a second she seemed into it, but then something made her shut down. I rubbed my good hand down my face. “Fuck,” I said again.

  “You need water?” Beau asked.

  “You his nurse?” Finn teased.

  “Fuck off,” he sighed, pulling a glass of water out of nowhere and handing it to Jonah who handed it to me.