Lizzie's List

by Melling, Diane

  “Hey!” I say rather shocked at his bluntness, but giggle because he is in fact being truthful and that’s the reason for my choice of this task. “Well it’s like the whole naked in the woods reason – about not worrying over consequences so much. What I mean is–that if I sang my heart out knowing I sound terrible and not caring what people think, it will free me of worries in a way. Rather than being cautious about what people think, I just want to sing and not care. People might think that I’m slightly strange or just a terrible busker, but is that really so bad? It’s not, but it’s taken me to get to the age of 29 to realise this. I just want to push myself to do things I wouldn’t normally dream of and so far doing this list has been one of the most life-changing things I’ve done.”

  “I admire you for doing it, but seriously, please let me be there to watch you sing – after the busy time I’ve had with the centre, I could do with a good laugh.” I swipe at James with the tea towel as he dodges out of the kitchen with some more wine. “I love whales, too – definitely more than your singing,” he replies as he disappears from view. Well, James Colley – you’re being cheeky tonight. I’ll remember that.

  Shortly after mid-night, James and Pete make plans to leave as they have to get the centre ready for more guests in the morning, although James has arranged other staff to be in knowing that he and Pete may not be on top form. Pete leaves to walk Ruth to her home next door, leaving James and me at the bottom of my stairs.

  “I wish I didn’t have to go Lizzie, but if I stayed, I couldn’t keep my hands off you and with Mark in the next room – it would feel weird,” he says, kissing my nose gently in between his words.

  “I know what you mean, it would feel strange, and tomorrow we’ll have more privacy, so you don’t have to keep your hands off me,” I reply suggestively. James pins me against the door kissing me with a fierce passion and again, so that I would happily make love to him on the doorstep.

  “Ahem, ahem,” Pete coughs from a respectable distance.

  “See you tomorrow, Lizzie,” he kisses my nose again, turning to walk the two miles home with Pete.

  “See you tomorrow Heathcliff,” I answer.

  “What do you mean, Heathcliff?”

  “You often have this angry Heathcliff look about you, which I had initially mistaken for disapproval, but now know it’s when you’re turned on. I can read you like a book now, you know.”

  “Are you reading another book then – another classic – Wuthering heights?”

  “No, just saw the film.”

  “It’s time I’m off,” he kisses me briefly as I watch until he’s nearly out of sight and sigh deeply with contentment, but also unfulfilled longing.

  “Are you in love Miss Parker?” Kate giggles coming down the stairs towards me. “Ben’s just chatting with Mark about stag do dates, he’ll be down in a minute, so we’ll be off soon.”

  “I might well be – I’ve never felt like this before, Kate, as though I can’t get enough of him. It’s early days and we’ve not ‘you know what’ yet. Do you think it’s silly to feel this way so soon?” I ask.

  “Not at all Lizzie. Some people have the slow burn type of relationships, some start as friends, and with others it’s love at first sight. You’ve know James a little through Mark, but not as an adult and it seems you both can’t leave each other alone. I really like James; he seems like such a lovely bloke. The way he dealt with Natalie respectfully shows he is a decent man – enjoy it and don’t think too much! Here’s my own bundle of love now,” Kate says as Ben appears beside her and rolls his eyes.

  “Don’t you mean hunk of love – really Kate, what will Lizzie think if you describe me as a bundle?” grumbles Ben as he hugs me goodbye. “Thanks for the fabulous meal, Lizzie – I had a great time – makes a change from vet talk all the time. By the way, did you know you’ve got some sort of dead plants in your bath’s plug hole?”

  “Oh no, my bath bomb, I forgot to clean the plug.”

  “Well if I’m honest Lizzie, at first I thought it was cat sick, but then I remembered you don’t have a cat and I have consumed far too much beer to tell what it was at first glance. However, I did make a closer inspection and I realised it was definitely some sort of plant.”

  “You mean you actually went closer to something you thought was cat sick? Then again, I suppose you’re a vet and more than used to inspecting unsightly things,” Kate laughs. I watch them both as they slowly wander off down the ribbon-like lane, arm in arm, still laughing and completely unaware that I am smiling at them, wondering if James and I will ever get to their stage. Then reality bites, and I think we probably won’t if he looked at my plug hole and came to the same conclusion as Ben initially did!

  Back up in the flat, Tabitha and Mark have made coffees and cleared up a whole load of meal debris. “Thanks so much for clearing the table and for coming tonight – I’m so glad you did.” All fuelled by wine, we are all slightly more loose tongued.

  “We’ve had a great time, Lizzie. It’s good that we are seeing more of each other. You and James can come and stay with us whenever you want – just give us a call,” says Tabitha as she sinks back into my squishy sofa. “It’s great about you and James. I thought he fancied you rotten when we were at the centre – what took so long?”

  Mark, now quite drunk, enlightens, “Well it started when he saw her naked in Bluebell Woods ages ago, back in May and has fancied her ever since.” Mark is animated as he enjoys my torture in his re-telling of the story, which I had no idea he knew about. “But the whole thing was delayed because he was in the middle of ending a relationship with Natalie, who was abroad at the time. Then he thought Lizzie was seeing somebody and called me to ask who it was – but I’m not sure what gave him that idea.” I privately thank James for not revealing the body chocolate incident to my brother – the naked frolicking is enough!

  Tabitha is stuck in position, open mouthed from the shock of Mark’s first sentence, but finally finds her voice. “Naked? Lizzie, why on earth were you naked in a wood?” she asks, her whole face contorted into a human question mark.

  “Thanks for that Mark!” I playfully snap, but I actually don’t feel embarrassed at all and explain all about my list to Tabitha.

  “So you were just dancing naked in the woods?” asks Tabitha, still in disbelief.

  “Well yes I was. I just thought that there wouldn’t be anybody about at that time in the morning, but no – along walks James. It wasn’t until seeing him at the outward bound weekend, that I realised who he was. He knew who I was, but I didn’t know how he knew me.”

  Tabitha drunkenly decides she’ll make up a list too, even though she’s 31. We’ll see if that’s still the case in the harsh light of a cold, sober morning. I’m not quite sure if we’ll make it up Bluebell Hill for a walk in the morning – full English breakfasts beforehand may be required first to aid our hangovers.

  Note to Self

  Always, I repeat, always, put underwear away in future.

  Remember to clear out the plug hole after using petal-filled bath bombs.

  Chapter 12

  The chocolate fudge cake debate

  Questions hastily sprint through my mind as I get ready for my evening at James’. What shall I wear? How shall I style my hair? Do I pack an overnight bag? Does that look too expectant or slutty even? If I don’t pack one, then I’ll be without my essentials if I stay over. I can’t be without my toothbrush and clean underwear, can I? Who are you kidding Lizzie? You will stay over; however, just to keep him guessing, leave the bag in your car boot. Thoughts keep firing around, racing, swirling, twirling around and around like an uncontrollable rotating Catherine wheel.

  The gymnastic thoughts in my brain spread to my tummy as it starts to perform its own somersaults. Packing the things (I hope) I will need (including my sex shop goodies – just in case) I am unsure how I will manage to eat anythin
g James cooks for me if the acrobats in there continue. Not being a person who ever has a problem with eating, I am surprised at my response. Is this what being love sick is – this mixture of extreme excitement and contrast of crippling nerves, which makes me want to chuck my guts up? How can I even consider packing the body chocolate when I feel like this?

  As the bright sunlight of the day starts to fade, my car (Edward – after my Grandad) slowly and carefully creeps along the bumpy track towards James’ cottage, as if it senses my nerves and is hesitant as well, or maybe my trusty steed knows he’s on his last legs–this track isn’t exactly car friendly. Poor Edward!

  My breath is taken away by the sight that greets me in James’ garden as the romantic scene comes into view. On the lawn, by the stream which passes his cottage, sits a small table laid with a gingham table cloth covered in candles. Their flames flicker patterns across the garden enchantingly, and hanging from the apple tree branches are glass lanterns glowing lustrously casting out colour to the flickering shadows. The gentle trickle of the nearby steam creates the perfect tune to accompany this romantic atmosphere. I am touched and utterly surprised by his efforts – no man has ever done anything like this for me before.

  Dressed in a red, satin dress (Tabitha’s cast off) and with my hair in loose curls, I take a deep breath as I knock on the olive green painted door. Spying blurred movement through the stained glass window, as James hears my knock and heads towards me, I hold my breath – this is it! He opens the door and seems to study my appearance with a sensual look in those huge, dark eyes of his. I mentally thank Tabitha, who showed up with this dress saying she didn’t need it, but surprisingly it isn’t in her size – thanks again Tabitha. “Lizzie, you look beautiful and very sexy as always – well apart from the last time you showed up here, covered in muck.” He smiles, as his eyes linger on me a little too long and I know that he wants me as much as I want him. He stammers into his next sentence, his reaction to me giving me a much needed confidence boost. “I’ve set the table up outside if that’s okay with you. I thought it would be nice to eat outside whilst the weather’s warm – before we know it, autumn will be upon us and then it’ll be dinner in front of the fire.” Oh the images that are now flashing through my head – snow on the ground causing a magical atmosphere and the two of us in the warmth of the cottage fire. Then we’d make passionate love on the thick rug in front of it as the hot flames create dancing shadows across our naked bodies. He tells me how much he loves me as his hands glide effortlessly over ....

  “Lizzie, are you okay?” James looks anxiously at me, and I realise that I have been stood in a trance and haven’t been listening to a word he has said.

  “Sorry James, the table looks sexy ... I mean beautiful; I was day dreaming again- what did you ask?” I struggle to put my sentence together, still having naked images in my head and trying to concentrate hard on the present.

  “This day dreaming is becoming a habit Lizzie. Am I boring you so soon? I asked if you’d like some wine or anything else.”

  “No you’re not boring me,” I answer as I reach out to him, feeling sorry for him as he is starting to look a little flustered. “I’d love some wine and anything else you’re offering!” We pull each other into a tight embrace. Breathing in his scent and nuzzling his neck, I am unable to totally extinguish my daydream, feeling even more aroused.

  He pulls back and looks deeply into my eyes with enlarged pupils. “Lizzie, you can’t say stuff like that to me – I’ve got to try and concentrate on cooking a meal for you. I’ll be honest; my skills in the kitchen aren’t the best, so I need to focus for the next twenty minutes, but I can’t think straight when you’re so near to me.” I giggle at his distress over cooking a meal. It’s almost like we have swapped places and I find James outside his comfort zone just like he did with me when I was gorge crossing.

  “Is there anything I can help with?” I ask wanting to help him as he helped me.

  “No everything’s sorted. Why don’t you sit down in the garden, whilst I get you a drink and put things into the oven. I’ll be back in a minute, but seriously I need that table between us for now!” he answers agitatedly. Sit down? I feel restless myself, and can’t think straight when near him either. I’m contemplating suggesting we just make love now and get it over and done with so we can both relax and enjoy this meal. It’s now clear neither of us can unwind with all this anticipation and electricity buzzing around.

  James quickly returns holding a tray with wine, two long stemmed glasses and a frosted cooler placed dangerously on top, but despite my concerns his strong arms carry it effortlessly. He looks devilishly sexy with his tousled hair, jeans and blue shirt open slightly at the top, causing another assault on my thoughts. Sitting down opposite me, he opens the sparkling wine and pours us both a glass. “To us, Lizzie – getting together at last!” We clink glasses and look intensely into each others’ eyes – unable to say anything. His eyes are displaying his true feelings and I know he wants me as much as I want him. I can tell he is desperately trying not to rush things, but his eyes betray his true intentions. Just two months ago, I would have sat through a meal like this, nervous, unable to eat, but the confidence I have gained from doing my list has enabled me to make the decision to take charge, getting exactly what I want.

  Taking a deep breath, my heart beating quickly, but I’m determined, “James I want you to make love to me right now! We can eat later.”

  James looks startled at first, but his eyes quickly darken with longing as any control he had quickly evaporates in the heat of our longing. “Lizzie, I don’t want to rush you into anything. I wanted to try and make things romantic,” he gestures to the lanterns, whilst I stare into his eyes willing him to come towards me and take me in his arms to end this torture.

  “You have made it lovely out here and I love the fact that you have gone to so much effort. Nobody has ever gone to so much effort for me before, but if I’m honest, I don’t think I could eat a thing – I’m too ..urm .. wound up?” This comes out as a question as I search for the right word to tell him how I feel. He looks directly at me, searching my face for clues, hesitating, not sure if I mean it. Again I find myself willing him to come to me, but as the feeling of intense urgency surges from my desire, action is called for. Slipping off my chair, I take hold of the zip on my dress, slowly pulling it down and then allowing it to glide down my body to the floor. Any uncertainty about my actions disappears when I watch his gaze travel over my body as I stand in front of him in nothing but my heels and skimpy, matching red underwear (red–to match my dress). He takes in a deep breath as if to attempt some control but within seconds his arms are suddenly around me and then his hands are cupping my face as he draws my lips towards his before kissing me with urgent desire. Picking me up, he carries me across the garden into his cottage, only breaking the kiss to push open the front door.

  Before I can register what’s happening, I feel myself landing on the bed and open my eyes to see him, realising he is entirely still, staring at me hungrily taking in every ounce of my body, leaving me feeling more desired than I have ever felt before. As he slips out of his clothes to his boxer shorts, I trail my eyes down his body happily drinking in his muscular form, wanting to run my tongue over it. “Lizzie you don’t know what you do to me – are you sure you want this, because there’s no turning back once I touch you?” he growls fixing me with the most intense gaze I have ever seen. Sitting up, I reach out for him showing him this is precisely what I want. With full understanding, he moves purposefully towards me like a lion towards its prey. It seems a lifetime until he reaches me and pushes me down on the bed with his determined and persistent kisses. I openly respond wrapping one arm around his neck, whilst the other is on his back pulling him towards me as I feel his hardness and want him inside me – now!

  Slowing me down, he takes control and moves his lips from mine to my towards my neck, nibbling and kissing me, de
liberately taking his time to reach my breasts. I gasp when he slides my bra away and takes my nipple into his mouth, at the same time as he skilfully unhooks my bra. His careful, but firm sucking is driving me crazy–right now I am lost to him. Whilst he pays more and more attention to each of my breasts with his tongue, his hands slowly glide down my curves, pausing teasingly on my stomach, before sliding my knickers down so he can gently caress and stroke me in exactly the right spot. His expert touch is slow at first, torturing me as I groan in pleasure pushing myself against him wanting, needing more. Moving his kisses from my breasts, downwards, at a tantalisingly laboured pace, leaves me desperate for him to reach me. Finally his mouth finds the area that his fingers have just left and I grip his hair in my hands unable to remain still with the anticipation of the thrill he is about to give me.

  Gently parting me and delicately using his tongue to tease, he then follows with a firmer sucking and I can’t help but open my legs further wanting this more and more. His kiss grows in intensity as he gradually quickens the pace and firmness, so that I squirm with the agonising pleasure of this. I feel like I am high on drugs as he continues to increase the pressure causing my hips to buckle in response. On reaching total and utter abandonment, I pant, unable to stop with the ecstasy indulging me, continuing until I can take this no more. Finally my orgasm releases me from this uncontrollable high and I cry out, collapsing with exhilaration, with him smiling up at me from below.

  It takes me a minute or so to come round and find James is now gently kissing my neck. He pauses to smile cheekily at me, quite proud of his achievement and it dawns on me what has just happened – I’ve just had my first ever orgasm.

  I move to lie on top of him and it’s my turn to tease him; slowly moving down his taut, lean body with long kisses, tasting him with my tongue until I am so close to his erection that he grips my hair, tightly in anticipation as I did him. As I take him in my mouth, moving with rhythm, I bring him to the same heights as I have just reached. “Lizzie, let me inside you!” he pants whilst moving on top of me so that he can enter me slowly until I adjust to his expanse. This is followed by firmer thrusting, taking me back to that point of no return until we both cave in to euphoria and disintegrate with relief onto the bed. Still wrapped in each others’ limbs, our accelerated breathing gradually slows as we come back to our senses. We lie in our embrace for a long time, indulging in the close feeling of each others’ bodies and the bliss that they have just brought us.