The Soul's Agent

by Wendy Knight

  "I remember in high school…" His voice trailed off as he looked over again, his hand leaving the steering wheel to find mine. His fingers shook just a little.

  Ah. He did know what he was doing to me.

  He cleared his throat, focusing on the road. "I remember in high school you used to sing to every song on the radio."

  I smiled. "I knew you better then. It's just weird when a stranger starts bellowing in your car. Didn't you know?"

  He frowned, his brows lowering as he risked a glance back over at me. "I'm a stranger?"

  He didn't like that one bit. I hid a wicked smile and feigned innocence. "Well… I haven't seen you in four years. Maybe I don't know you at all."

  He rolled his eyes. "We proved last night that you know me very well. I haven't changed, Navi. The only thing that's different is that now—" He froze, turning panicked eyes on me.

  "Now… what?" I asked, reaching up to gently turn his chin back toward the road so we didn't both die in a fiery crash.

  "Nothing." He flipped through his MP3 player and then focused on the road. The song came on, an old one. He started singing along, mostly, I think, to distract me from whatever he'd been about to say. It worked. I remembered how we used to sing together when he drove me to school every morning. And this song.

  It was a duet.

  I hesitated, because somehow singing in this car with him was way more terrifying than singing on a stage in front of a hundred people. But the girl started singing and Alec stopped, and the way his chin fell in defeat melted me. I started singing, quietly at first, but when he joined in again I gained courage and sang louder. His fingers tightened around mine. The sweet lyrics, his low, sexy voice, filled the car, filled my head until I felt like I was drugged and couldn't look away from him. I loved the way our voices flowed together, over and under and around.

  And then the song ended and I crashed back to reality. He pulled into the restaurant parking lot and stopped the truck. Raising my hand, he kissed my knuckles softly, so softly, but the feel of his lips against my skin sent delicious shivers up and down my spine. The last thing in the world I wanted to do right then was get out of that truck.

  Unfortunately, one must eat.

  Alec let go of my fingers, but so slowly I hoped that maybe he was as reluctant to get out of the truck as I was. My eyes devoured him as he walked around the front to my door—with the tight black t-shirt under his jacket and his baseball hat on backward. The truck squeaked in protest as he swung open the door, like it felt the same way I did and we should just stay inside together. I twisted on the seat and slid out, but he caught me, his hands on my waist as he lowered me gently to the ground. Our bodies were close, so close I could feel his rapid breathing as he stared down at me, his hands sliding down to my hips, pulling me closer to him.

  "Alec! Navi! What a surprise meeting you guys here!" Bryson yelled.

  I jumped guiltily away from Alec, wondering what on earth was wrong with me. I didn't belong to Bryson. I had nothing to feel guilty about. Alec growled under his breath and turned slowly. "I thought you'd be in bed for the rest of the day."

  "Nah. I'm just fine. Nothing a little coffee can't fix." He looked awful. His eyes were bloodshot and he was pale and shaking. Clearly, still in the throes of a hangover.

  "Bryson?" I asked, leaving Alec's side. Bryson was tipping dangerously and I caught him just as he toppled over. "Are you sure you should be out of bed? You were pretty out of it last night."

  He grimaced. "I know. I'm so sorry. I was hoping we could talk about that."

  I felt so bad for him. He looked like he wanted to die. "Of course we can talk about that," I said quickly. Behind me, I heard Alec approaching, his shoes crunching on the gravel. I could feel him coming closer and everything in me hoped he would slide his arms around my waist and pull me back against him.

  He wouldn't, of course, because we were… well, I wasn't sure exactly what we were. Obviously, more than friends. I mean, I thought we were more than friends. But we weren't together. But we weren't on some casual first date, either. There was too much tension. Too much need. Too much history. Alec stopped next to me, arms crossed over his broad chest. "You need to go home, Bryson. Go back to bed. You look like shit."

  Bryson grinned at me. "I don't think that's possible."

  Oh, it was possible. But I didn't want to be mean. "You look like you're in pain," I said gently.

  "I am." He nodded. "I'm in pain because I know I was terrible last night and it breaks my heart that you think I'm an idiot."

  Alec sighed, shaking his head. "Dude, that was cheesy as hell."

  Ignoring Alec, Bryson said as enthusiastically as seemed possible at the moment, "Let's go get some coffee, should we?" Bryson looped his arm through mine and started for the door.

  Muttering, Alec followed along behind. This is not how I wanted things to be. I didn't want to be in the middle. I didn't want Alec to be angry today. I wanted to sit on his lap and drink hot chocolate and stare into his eyes all morning.

  Now that was cheesy.

  I reached back, summoning all my courage, and grabbed Alec's fingers. They were stiff with shock for about four seconds, and then he curled his hand around mine and squeezed gently.

  The little bell above the door tinkled cheerfully as we walked in. "Table for three please," Bryson said, wincing as the dull roar from the very busy restaurant assaulted his tender head.

  I leaned around him, clearing my throat. "Actually, we're getting our food to go, if that's okay. We're not staying."

  Bryson's chin dropped in confusion and Alec chuckled. Now he did pull me back against him, tugging me away from Bryson's tight grip. His arms slid around my waist, holding me tight against his chest, so tight I could feel his heart pounding against my back. Like what he'd just done had taken a lot of courage.

  I couldn't swallow.

  The thought that his heart was pounding—that he was as nervous as I was—it was adorable.

  Bryson turned slowly, his eyes widening. "Are you two—are you here together?"

  I blinked three times, trying to see how he couldn't already know that. I failed. "I—we—you saw me get out of his truck—"

  Bryson waved a hand through the air. "I know but I mean—together together?"

  I tried to figure out how to explain it without hurting his feelings. I opened my mouth twice, but couldn't make any sound come out.

  "Yes," Alec said flatly. I twisted my head around to see his face. He looked down and smiled before he returned his glare to Bryson.

  In my daydreams that he would come back, that I would find myself in his arms again, this was not at all what I had imagined. The hostess handed us menus and neither boy broke their cold staring contest to take them. I sighed, thanking the woman. "Guys?"

  "Where are you going after this if you're not staying here?" Bryson asked. He sounded angry. Like I'd somehow betrayed him. Or Alec had. I frowned, wanting desperately to escape this place. Why were there never any demon attacks in the day? Although if there were demon attacks, I wouldn't be able to fight them. My powers didn't work when the sun was up and my ghosts couldn't come out of their prison. If there was ever an attack during the day, I'd be dead. Like, within two seconds, probably.

  "I'm not sure how that has anything to do with you." Alec's arms tightened protectively around me, which was comforting given my train of thought.

  "I saw her first, Alec."

  He saw me what now? "Are you serious with this?" I asked incredulously. "You saw me first?"

  "Actually, I saw her first. In seventh grade when we were thirteen. I've loved her ever since. So. Back. Off."

  I froze. Everything in me froze—my blood, my breath, my heart, my brain. Alec had loved me ever since? What about the last four years when we were supposed to hate each other? What about now?

  "You had your chance with her, Alec. You walked away."

  "And it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I'm not going to make it again."
r />   My head started to pound, whether from the extreme awkwardness of the situation or the extreme lack of food, I wasn't sure. I was suddenly very tired and very hungry and very confused. "Enough!" I yelled. The entire restaurant turned to stare at us. The hostess, who'd been watching with unabashed curiosity, hurried away. I slid out of Alec's arms. I needed space. I needed fresh air. And sleep. And food. "Bryson, I'm sorry you thought there was something between us when there wasn't. That was not Alec's fault." Before I could see the hurt in his face, I turned on Alec, shoving stray strands of my dark hair away from my face in frustration. "Alec, you owe me breakfast. So either you stop arguing with Bryson and decide what you want, or I'm walking home to make my own cereal." I crossed my arms and glared at them both.

  Sure, I fought demons on an almost nightly basis with an army of lost souls. But confrontation in the daylight with people who weren't trying to destroy humanity? That was something entirely different and much, much harder.

  Alec closed his eyes, briefly. "I'm so sorry, Navi. What do you want?"

  "A bagel. Toasted with cream cheese. And hot chocolate," I muttered, still pouting. He nodded and strode off to find the hostess who seemed to be hiding behind her counter, probably ready to call the cops.

  "Navi, please don't do this. Don't go with him. He's all wrong for you." Bryson took my hand, rubbing his thumb across my knuckles. "I know you don't know me well, but there's an undeniable connection between us. You can't tell me you don't feel it."

  "Bryson," I said gently, disentangling my fingers. "I don't know you at all. And I don't feel a connection. I'm sorry. You're very nice." Yes. Add the nice bit. Because that always softened the blow.

  He hung his head. "I never should have had that party. You'd never have found Alec again and it would be me taking you to breakfast, not him."

  I bit my lip until the sharp little teeth threatened to tear through the skin. "No, Bryson. That isn't true. I'm sorry, but it isn't. Please. You guys are roommates. You have to let this go or you'll both be miserable."

  Alec paid and reached for the two bags the woman handed him and I wanted to race back to the kitchens and kiss them all for being so quick with our food. But that would be weird, so I didn't.

  Bryson shoved his hands in his pockets, staring at the floor. "He isn't right for you Navi." My breath caught in my throat as he looked up, his crystal blue eyes meeting mine, so full of pain. "One day you'll realize that."

  "Ready?" Alec asked, his voice barely above a growl. I stared at Bryson in confusion for several seconds before I could manage to tear my eyes away from him and nod. Was that some kind of threat? It had sounded an awful lot like a threat.

  But no. No way. He was a sweet guy, right?

  "Yeah," I said slowly. "Yeah, I'm ready." To Bryson, I said, "I'm really sorry. I hope—I hope you feel better."

  He didn't say anything, just watched us walk away.

  The bell above the door didn't sound quite so cheerful as we left.

  "What was that?" I asked as soon as we made it outside.

  Alec hung his head, looking as dejected as Bryson had. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

  "Alec—"

  "No, wait." He opened the truck door and helped me in. I tried to remember I was angry so I shouldn't feel the heat spiral through my body where his hands touched my waist. "I do know what that was."

  I thunked into my side and slid my seat belt on as he shut the door. He climbed in and jammed the key into the ignition but didn't start the truck. "Navi, you don't understand."

  He had no idea how right he was. "So explain it to me."

  He ran a hand over his face, leaning back against the headrest. "I don't—I don't know how."

  Bryson had left the restaurant, coffee cup in hand. Alec must have seen him, because he started the truck and backed out, roaring onto the road like my demons were after him. "I have an idea. Can you wait to eat for about ten minutes?" He gave me the most vulnerable face ever. I was mad, but not mad enough to say no to that face.

  "Yes," I said quietly.

  We drove in silence. No singing, no talking. I stared out the window and wished I could cry. I hadn't cried in three and a half years. Now, I wasn't sure if I even could.

  Alec turned off the main road and onto a dirt path barely wide enough for his great big truck. It was overgrown with tall grasses and low hanging trees, but I recognized it instantly. His parents had a piece of land in the middle of the forest. There wasn't much out there—they mostly used it for camping, but Alec and I had hung out there a lot in high school.

  He backed up so the bed of the truck overlooked the river. The leaves were starting to change, and we were surrounded by reds and golds and greens and the blue, blue sky. I was glad he'd parked in the shade. The sun and I didn't get along so well.

  He got out and came around to my side. Again, he lifted me out. Heat seared me as I slid down his body. Trapped between him and the truck, I could only stare up at him helplessly, praying he would kiss me, praying he wouldn't.

  I was a very confused girl.

  He finally backed away, reaching around me to grab our breakfast. I felt equal measures of disappointment and relief, which made absolutely no sense.

  Food. I needed food. And sleep. Then the world would be right again.

  He opened the second set of doors without looking at me and pulled out a thick quilt. I wandered away to the river, absently sliding off my flip-flops so I could stick my toes in the icy water. We lived minutes from the ocean, and I knew Alec loved it, but he had never once taken me there. I didn't mind because I spent enough time at the beach fighting demons and knowing what comes out of the water at night makes me less likely to think it's beautiful in the day.

  But rivers. Rivers are a different thing entirely. I had never seen a demon come out of a river. They bubbled and roared and were cheerful and beautiful. They were my weakness. This river, especially, because along with it being a river that was cheerful and beautiful and bubbly and roar-y, there were a ton of memories here. Good memories.

  I glanced over my shoulder at Alec, who was spreading the blanket into the back of his truck.

  Very good memories.

  "I screwed up," he said, jumping down from the truck and coming over to me.

  I raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue.

  "I know—look, I know we aren't together."

  Ouch.

  But he continued before I had a chance to register that my pain made no sense because we'd only just re-met.

  "I know until yesterday you probably hadn't even thought about me for years—"

  Right. Not even close.

  "—but dammit, Navi! I haven't stopped thinking about you. You walked in last night and it felt like time hadn't passed and you were still mine and you still belonged in my arms. And those six hours without you felt like six more years."

  "I—I thought you hated me," I whispered. "All those years—I went all the way to Alaska to get away from you!" Pain lanced across his face and I instantly regretted my words. "I didn't mean—"

  "No." He shook his head. "No, I deserved it. But Navi, you have to know, what happened in high school—I didn't mean for it to get out."

  I sighed. I didn't want to talk about high school. High school hurt.

  "Letting you go was the stupidest thing I've ever done," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

  The world stopped. Everything froze. Time shattered. "It was?"

  He ran a hand over his face, peering at me through his fingers. "By far. Do you know how many times I called you after we broke up? To beg you to come back. But the way you glared at me in the hall—I always chickened out and hung up before it started to ring."

  I'd done the same thing. A thousand times. Maybe two thousand. I still remembered my carefully rehearsed speech, in which I begged him to believe me and if he didn't, I told him the whole truth.

  But yeah… even in my daydreams I knew how that conversation would go. Then the whole schoo
l wouldn't have just thought I was a cheating slut, they would think I was crazy, too. And Alec would die because I'd opened his eyes to the demons. They liked to kill the ones who could see them coming.

  I frowned, remembering. Remembering the snickers and the guys following me around thinking I was easy.

  "No. Don't you start thinking about it, Navi. Don't you dare. I finally got you to talk to me again." He tipped his head, catching me so that I was trapped in that dark blue gaze. "I know we just re-met, but I—I don't want you to date Bryson."

  I blinked. That wasn't on the list of things I'd been expecting him to say. Trying to hide my smirk, I said, "What's wrong with Bryson?"

  "Nothing's wrong with Bryson," Alec growled, scowling. "Everything. He's not right for you."

  I leaned back, crossing my arms while I dug my toes into the mud. It was cold and squishy and reminded me of being a little kid when my parents used to take me to the river. Never, ever the beach, but the river, yes. "And who is it you think is right for me?" I asked innocently.

  "Me, Navi. I think I'm right for you."

  Now I couldn't help but grin. I raised an eyebrow, dancing away. "You do, do you?"

  He swore under his breath as a rueful smile creased his gorgeous face. "Yes. I do. I don't want you to date anyone else. Just me."

  "I don't know… you're practically a stranger. A stranger who hasn't fed me yet."

  "Oh crap." He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the truck, lifting me into the back as if I weighed less than a small dog. "You have all day to get to know me."

  I laughed as I settled against the front of the bed and dug out my breakfast. Holy Hannah, I was starving. One thing about fighting at night, it used a ton of calories and I had to eat like an elephant the next day.

  So far, there had been no eating at all, elephant or otherwise.

  "All day, huh?" I asked between bites. "I thought this was just breakfast."

  "That was before you raised the stakes. If I'm gonna talk you into being with me and no one else, it's going to take more than breakfast."