Funny Money

by Traci DePree

  Renee Lambert had come early for that night’s regular dance lesson. Kisses whined from his place in the designer bag at her side. She patted his shivering head with her manicured hand.

  “I regret not joining in all this excitement,” she said to Kate, her eyes on Joe and Georgia as they one-two-three’d across the polished floor before class. Their bodies rose and fell with the beat like horses on a carousel.

  “You could do it next year,” Kate suggested.

  “I suppose, though it won’t be nearly the novelty it is this year.” She looked at Kate. “Why are you and Paul doing it? You don’t really strike me as the type.”

  Kate wasn’t sure what “the type” meant. She chose to ignore the comment. “At first we thought it would be fun, then we realized that if we won, we could help the Lourdeses with the prize money.”

  Renee huffed and dropped her mouth open. “That perp? Why in the world would you help him?”

  “They have a need” was all Kate said, choosing to avoid the open door to gossip.

  Renee patted Kisses’ head and turned to Evelyn, who had joined them at the side of the mirrored room.

  “So,” Renee said to her, “what are you planning on doing with the prize money if you and Fish win the dance competition?”

  Evelyn pursed her lips as if she didn’t want to share the information with Renee, but Renee only leaned closer to her.

  “I have plans,” Evelyn said evasively.

  “You’re not going to give it all to that Lourdes family too, are you?” Renee looked accusingly at Kate.

  The light in Evelyn’s eyes told Kate of her appreciation for the idea, though Kate sensed she wouldn’t dare say such a thing in Renee’s presence.

  “So”—Renee seemed obsessed with digging some sort of information out of Evelyn—“you just love to dance? Is that it?”

  “Oh no.” She smiled sweetly. “I’m not much of a show person.” Her wrinkled face turned up in a smile, and she lightly touched her bluish hair.

  PAUL SMILED at the devoted Faith Briar flock the following Sunday. Everyone was in the usual spots. Kate sat near the front, her eyes on her handsome husband. He wore a brown guayabera shirt she’d picked up for him at Belk’s. It brought out the blue in his eyes.

  “As most of you will recall,” he said, “we took an offering several weeks ago for the Lourdes family. Now a lot of talk has been going around town about his arrest and all that followed, and I’m not up here to comment on that. But I do want to talk about a section of Scripture.”

  Paul bent his head to read. “In Matthew chapter twenty-five it reads, ‘Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.”’”

  That Paul had used the same portion of Scripture when they’d taken the offering weeks before seemed a powerful thing to Kate.

  Paul went on. “Then these righteous ones will reply, Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you? And the King will say, I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’”

  Paul turned his gaze upon the congregation. “Did you notice the passage didn’t say, ‘I was wrongly accused and in prison’? or ‘I was a stranger, but you had a pretty good idea I wouldn’t harm you’? Jesus isn’t talking about keeping ourselves safe. This is pretty risky stuff.”

  He recounted the story of those who did not help the ones who came to their door, those who didn’t feed the poor or clothe the naked.

  He shook his head. “I have to tell you, I don’t think about the needy nearly as often as I should.”

  As Kate listened, her thoughts turned to Tim Lourdes pacing that jail cell, no visitors aside from his family and his lawyer. And Amy so hurt by her neighbors who wouldn’t let their little boy play with Jake.

  “And what happened to them?” Paul lifted his face, his expression the picture of gentility, before returning to his text. “And he will answer, I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’”

  He shook his head again. “That’s a pretty powerful statement, isn’t it? In Texas those are fightin’ words!” He chuckled. “It’s so easy to get comfortable, to forget. We all do it. Me too.” He paused and smiled at Kate. “But this was why Jesus came, to help the down and out, the naked and hungry, the person in prison.” His expression was filled with meaning. “He doesn’t want us to turn our backs.”

  There was a hushed silence when he stepped from the podium. No doubt his words had struck a chord with many that day. They had certainly struck a chord with Kate.

  The past week, Jake had been transferred to the children’s hospital in Chattanooga, making the Lourdes’ financial needs even greater, especially because Amy was unable to commute to the dance studio while in Chattanooga. Thankfully, the Harpers had offered her as much time off as she needed.

  Kate closed her eyes as the hymn began. Sam Gorman played fervently, pounding out the notes. Even as they left the church, the congregation was subdued, though many stopped to offer their greetings.

  Kate looked around to see if the Lovelaces were there. She spotted Millie and Boom, but before she could talk to them, Audrey Harper came up to Kate and Paul, Hal trailing behind.

  “Thank you for that message today, Pastor.” She reached to shake hands with Paul. “It was very timely.” She looked at Hal, who nodded his agreement.

  “I’m glad it was meaningful for you,” Paul said.

  “Like you said, we get so used to having so much. Sometimes we forget, and it can be hard to find opportunities,” she said. “Please let us know if there’s anything more we can do for the Lourdeses.”

  “Well,” Kate began, “you could donate something to the bake sale for the Lourdeses on Wednesday at the library, if—”

  “Say no more!” Audrey held up a pink-manicured hand. “I make a mean peach pie. I’ll bring two!”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Dance lessons had just finished that Tuesday night when Audrey called Kate over.

  “I totally forgot to bring those pies with me,” she said. “But I did make them.”

  Kate watched her with new eyes. Audrey seemed perfectly fine, though her head bobbed in that nervous way.

  “You can bring them by between nine thirty and ten tomorrow,” Kate offered, trying to sound normal. They had rescheduled the Wednesday morning rehearsal to the afternoon so they could hold the bake sale in the morning.

  “Oh no! I can’t make that time. I have a dentist appointment in Pine Ridge.”

  “No problem. I can stop by your house and get them first thing in the morning,” Kate offered.

  “Oh, would you?” Audrey looked so thankful that Kate didn’t even mind making the trip.

  WHEN KATE ARRIVED at the Harper house the next morning, the Lincoln Town Car and Porsche were again parked outside the large garage. Kate pulled up alongside them and got out. She made her way to the front door and had just rung the bell when she noticed a package lying on the front stoop. Bold letters in the upper left-hand corner read “NexTag Comparison Shopping.” Kate stared at it.

  Audrey came to the door. She had the look of someone in a hurry; her makeup was half done and her hair, which was usually a white halo, was a limp wet rag around her face.

  “Come in.” She smiled and waved Kate inside. “I’m still getting ready.”

  Kate stepped across the threshold. “There’s a package waiting for you.” She pointed out the box.

  “Oh, good. I was waiting for that!” She s
miled at Kate and added, “Art supplies.”

  Then she set the box on the narrow table in the entry and bustled to the kitchen, with Kate following behind. She said over her shoulder, “The pies turned out perfect! I added a little extra cinnamon.”

  Opening her refrigerator, she pulled out each pie, placing them on the granite countertop nearest the fridge. “I put them in these large Ziploc bags. Is that okay?”

  “That’s great,” Kate said. “I really appreciate you doing this.”

  “It’s the least I could do.” Audrey paused. “After Paul’s message on Sunday...well, you know, he was right. We just don’t do enough to help others. This is such a small thing to do, and baking is something I enjoy.” She smiled sweetly. Then as if remembering the time, she looked at the watch on her wrist. “I’ve got to fly.”

  “I can manage these,” Kate said, lifting a pie in each hand.

  “Let me at least get the doors for you.” Audrey went ahead and opened not only the front door but also the front passenger door of Kate’s Honda. “I’ll probably stop by later to see how it’s going,” she added as Kate started the car.

  She offered a wave and disappeared inside the house as Kate left for the bake sale.

  THERE WERE MORE VOLUNTEERS than Kate knew what to do with when she showed up at the library to set up. Four long tables had been placed next to the sidewalk so passersby could happen upon their fund-raiser. Every imaginable baked good was represented—pies and homemade breads, apple crisp, and rhubarb bars, cookies, cakes and donuts. There were so many items that some were piled three deep.

  Renee Lambert, with Kisses tucked in the designer bag across her shoulders, ordered around the bake-sale staff with each gesture of her French-manicured fingers, while antiques dealer Eli Weston quietly brought out folding chairs for people to sit on. Several of the young workers stood on the sidewalk holding signs that read “Bake Sale” and “Fund-raiser.”

  Even Millie Lovelace showed up and hovered near the pies. Kate watched her, feeling guilty for suspecting Millie’s sons of counterfeiting. A crowd was gathering as more and more cars pulled into the library parking lot and pedestrians stopped to see what the hubbub was all about.

  Renee came up to her, raising a pencil-thin eyebrow. The crowd swirled around them.

  “Betty Anderson has a good idea,” she said.

  Kate glanced at the beautician to whom Renee referred standing by one of the long tables across the way. A woman whom Kate didn’t know came up to Betty and pointed at a bag of cookies. She was tall and had long dark brown hair. Kate started to move toward them.

  “Are you listening to me?” Renee insisted, tugging on Kate’s arm, pulling her attention with it.

  Kate turned her head for just a moment to talk to Renee, but by the time she turned back around, the dark-haired woman had disappeared into the crowd.

  “Where did she go?” Kate asked a dumbfounded Betty.

  “Who?”

  “The woman you just sold cookies to?” She lifted her face to scan the shoppers.

  “I didn’t see.” Betty shrugged.

  Kate jogged toward the parking lot, trying to ignore her arthritic knee, then not finding the woman, came back along the sidewalk. The mystery woman was gone.

  Kate went immediately to Betty’s table, but a line of customers kept her from searching to see if any fake bills had come through. She didn’t want to raise a stir, especially given the fact that the fund-raiser itself was for the alleged counterfeiter’s family.

  Finally there was a lull in the activity, so she pulled the bills out of Betty’s cash box and shuffled through them. Nothing. She looked again. She’d been wrong. The woman with the dark hair was nothing more than an innocent bystander.

  THE VOLUNTEERS were taking down tables and clearing away leftover baked goods, though there weren’t many, as Renee Lambert tallied up the total sales. The sale had been a huge success. They’d sold almost all of the goods they’d brought. When Kate had called to tell Amy, the young mother had been speechless.

  “People do care,” Kate said.

  Amy voiced her thanks, though Kate sensed she was more than grateful for the gesture.

  Kate went into the library to thank Livvy for hosting the event. She had just gotten back to the activity outside when Renee jumped up like sliced bread in a toaster. Kisses barked and ran circles around her feet.

  “Who took this?” Renee waved a bill in the air. “Who took this?”

  Surprised heads turned to see what all the commotion was about.

  “What’s going on?” Kate asked.

  “It’s a counterfeit.” Renee pushed the bill under Kate’s nose.

  In the bright sunlight, it was easy to see that the bill was phony—the off-color hue, the slightly fuzzy printing. How had this gotten past them? Kate lifted her head and looked at the other volunteers, who by now had gathered round.

  “Which cash box was this in?” she asked.

  Renee gave her a blank look. “We combined them.”

  “The counterfeiter was here?” Justin Jenner, the younger of the two Jenner boys, asked with wide eyes.

  Kate held up the bill. “It very well could be.”

  But no one saw who had passed the money. And other than Kate and Betty, no one else had seen the woman with dark hair.

  Who was that dark-haired woman? Was she Buck Lovelace’s girlfriend? Not even Boom and Millie had met their son’s love interest, so how could Kate know for sure? She wished she’d gotten a closer look. Betty had been no help. She’d taken the woman’s money but hadn’t paid close attention to what she looked like.

  IT WASN’T UNTIL KATE GOT HOME and was rummaging through her handbag for her checkbook that she noticed the other bill. It was in the middle of her other cash, its fuzzy appearance was undeniable.

  Had Renee given it to her with her change when she’d bought bread at the bake sale? Kate studied the bill, knowing she should turn it in to the authorities immediately, but there had to be something here . . . something she could learn by studying the bill.

  Carefully, she slipped it back into her purse. Guilt ate at her, yet for Tim Lourdes’ sake she would keep it, just a little while. She’d turn it in as soon as she finished examining it.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  The dance competition was less than two weeks away. Kate and Paul kicked practice into high gear, adding a second hour to their daily rehearsal regimen. Since they’d had the bake sale that morning, they’d opted for a late-afternoon session on Wednesday.

  “This is still not my thing, Katie,” Paul whispered under his breath when he made a misstep, cutting off Kate’s path into a spin.

  Kate patted his arm and reached up to kiss his cheek. “But it’s so sweet of you to hang in there with me.”

  “Sweet or whupped?” he teased.

  “You have the right to back out; I won’t hold it against you. For long.”

  Paul shook his head, then grinned. “A man can’t win, can he?”

  Kate tucked her face close to his and said in a tender voice, “Honey, you won me thirty years ago.” She lightly kissed him, and he pulled her closer.

  “You’re right about that.” He smiled into her eyes and lifted her right hand, kissing it on the knuckles. “I’m the luckiest man on the planet.”

  Then they moved back into the Viennese waltz, its enticing rhythm capable of making mature love young again.

  “THIS IS BECOMING a regular event!” Audrey said the Friday night when Kate and Paul walked out of their house for another double date with the Harpers. Hal opened the door of his Lincoln Town Car for Kate.

  When Kate turned to thank him, she saw the white stain on the cuff of his blue shirt.

  Audrey must’ve seen where Kate’s eyes landed because she said, “Honey, you wrecked another shirt!”

  Hal’s face turned a dark shade of red as he examined the spot.

  Audrey wore another flamboyant dress, this one an aqua blue number with rows of ruffles that ma
de up the short skirt. Though the woman wasn’t exactly young anymore, Kate suspected that dancing had preserved her figure. A collection of oversized bangles on her wrist made a jangling sound.

  Kate and Paul climbed into the backseat of the Town Car, with its plush leather interior and automotive bells and whistles. Soothing instrumental jazz music played through the speakers.

  “What is this place we’re going to?” Paul asked, leaning forward when he spoke.

  “It’s a new Italian restaurant in Pine Ridge called the Bologna Café,” Audrey said, turning toward them. “It got great reviews in the paper.”

  She reached into her handbag for the clipping and handed it to Kate. The article pictured a heavyset man with a beer belly and a wife of equal proportion. Both grinned widely in front of the sign that bore the name.

  When she’d finished reading, she handed it back to Audrey.

  “We love to eat,” Audrey said. “How about you?”

  “Are you kidding?” Paul quipped. “You have found your match in us. Kate’s a great chef too.”

  “We’ll have to cook together.” Audrey turned back to face the front.

  Hal had been quiet, which was normal, though he always had that look in his eyes that said he was enjoying the company. Occasionally he’d nod or offer a smile.

  “The Cline sisters and I went dress shopping for our costumes,” Kate said. “I hope you’ll like them.”

  “Audrey,” Paul put in, “I’ll be happy if no one breaks a gut laughing while we’re onstage.”

  “It’s not that kind of atmosphere, I promise you. Right, honey?” she said to Hal, who nodded. “Everyone is there to support each other. It’s about building your confidence so you take the next step in dancing. Besides,” she went on, “I think you have a real shot at winning.”

  Paul chuckled.

  “I’m serious!” she protested. She looked at Kate. “Tell him I mean it.”

  Kate said, “Deep down he believes you.”

  Paul just grinned.

  “How’s Amy been with Jake in the hospital?” Audrey asked. “I haven’t seen her.”

  “About as good as can be expected.” Kate sighed.