Destined to Fall (An Angel Falls Book 5)

by Jody A. Kessler

  Even in the horrific and unthinkable situation, she reacts quickly and begins CPR.

  “Mom,” Jared says with equal surprise and shock to see his mother.

  “She must have come to the show with your grandma as a surprise,” I say.

  He reaches out to touch her and his fingers brush her hair then pass through her. He yanks his hand back. Charlotte and Juliana kneel next to Diane, holding each other close and looking like their world has come to an end, which it has. A new world waits for them on the other side of tragedy. I place my hand on Jared’s arm.

  “Women,” he says. “My whole life, I’ve always been surrounded by these powerful women. Star fits right in with them,” he says as if he’s realizing it for the first time.

  “They’re a force,” I agree.

  “The males in my family never stood a chance against this trio. Look at them. They’re unbelievable.”

  The medics arrive and take over the job of trying to resuscitate Jared. Juliana helps her grandmother work at easing Diane away from Jared’s body.

  “I don’t want to see anymore.” Jared looks away. “It’s too depressing. My life was good. This is pitiful.”

  “If you’re ready, then you don’t have to watch.”

  “I don’t want these strangers over me, and seeing my mom like that is painful. I don’t want to leave, but I can’t stand here.”

  “Come with me,” I say, and use my thoughts and will power to move us to the top of the megalithic rock overlooking the amphitheater. Already exhausted, I sink to the rain soaked stone and look at the chaos below, the lights of Denver, and the Front Range glowing in a dampened haze of the storm.

  “Is this better?” I ask.

  Jared stands by me, taking in the view as the wind and rain blow straight through him.

  He nods agreeably then squats next to me. He trains his gaze on the stage. It’s common for a recently deceased client to want space from the trauma of their own death, but they don’t want to leave entirely. Watching from a perceived safe distance provides comfort and still allows them to be a part of the life they’re leaving behind.

  “You doing okay?” he asks.

  “I’ll be fine. I was having a minor disagreement with Marcus before all this started. I wasn’t expecting such a shock.”

  “Me either,” Jared says with a wry look. “And Marcus… He’s had it out for you, hasn’t he?”

  “He’s doing what he’s supposed to.”

  “You’re a good guy, Nathaniel. You shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of treatment.”

  Staring at the scene below, I’m reminded of the hundreds of other deaths I’ve been a part of. The EMT’s, the distraught loved ones, the clients. Only this time, there is all of that and everything else. Laughter suddenly rises and my shoulders shake as I chuckle at the absurdity of everything.

  Jared raises a brow.

  “It’s not funny at all,” I say, and yet I can’t stop.

  “What isn’t?”

  “Marcus down there with his feet glued to the pavement. He’s supposed to be my mentor and friend, and all he’s been doing is chasing me away from you. And now you’re right here with me. This is where we were supposed to be from the very beginning. This summer has become a giant circle. And I’ll probably be demoted for this — again.”

  Jared slides me the skeptical side eye.

  “I told you it wasn’t funny,” I say, and my mirth falls away. I still can’t help but see the absurdity of what my existence has become. “I don’t know what they can do to me. Babysitting suicidal head cases is about as low as it gets. At least I have your sister. She’s the real motivation behind my need to survive.”

  “Demote you? For helping out a schlep like me? What could happen to you?” Jared asks as if he’s truly concerned.

  I take a minute to reconsider the warnings I’ve received and the possible outcomes of my continued defiance. “I guess they could take away my angel status altogether. They would make me pass into the afterlife and I would never see Juliana again. At least, not in her lifetime.”

  “Shit,” Jared says with real distress. “Seems harsh for a guy who only wants to be with his girl.”

  “My situation is considered an unusual circumstance. And I don’t regret anything. It was my mistake and I have to deal with whatever that brings. One day with your sister makes it all worth it, and I’ve been given a couple months.”

  “And I recorded an album and I met Star. I can’t say I regret the extra time.”

  I clap his shoulder. “It’s been a good summer. Too short, but worth it for both of us.”

  We’re quiet for a minute as we watch the medics continue to work on Jared. Star turns to a friend and buries her face into his shoulder. From our vantage point, we see her shaking and sobbing.

  “More time with Star would have been great,” Jared confides. “And I wish my mom didn’t have to go through this again. I would stay around for her if I could. She doesn’t need the grief.”

  “Juliana and your grandmother will be here for her, and I’ll do anything I can to help her, too.”

  Jared stares into his lap, processing more of this reality in increments. I remain silent until he’s okay with his thoughts. The rain picks up and the puddles splash and dance from the heavy drops. Rivulets of water pass beneath us and disappear over the edge.

  Jared raises his head and looks at me wide-eyed. The shock on his face is cause for concern, but I’ve seen this stage before, too. A sudden awareness of some unplanned future event or concern about the life that is no more has been brought to the forefront of his attention.

  “You’re going to pass to the other side soon. From there, you will be with people you recognize and most of your worries will cease to exist.”

  He shakes his head as if this isn’t close to the explanation he’s looking for.

  “Jared, crossing over is painless and easy. All you have to do is step through.”

  His eyes widen even farther. He stares at the stage and back to me.

  “You,” he starts, and runs his fingers over his scalp.

  “Jared, it’s going to be fine. Tell me when you’re ready and we’ll do this together.”

  “You’re totally missing the point, Nathaniel.”

  “What?” I ask, befuddled. The ache to rest and recharge is a hollow pain engulfing me and forcing me to fade. My sheer stubbornness is the only thing keeping me from leaving.

  “You want to be with my sister more than you want to live as an Angel of Death, right?”

  “It’s true,” I admit. “Did Star tell you about Liam and the fallen ones?”

  “Yeah. She made me listen to this whole story her aunt told her about lost love and sacrifice, magic, and spells. I thought I was only half listening, but now I see it. I heard it all.”

  “Jared, it’s a false path I’m seeking. I was an idiot to think I could be with Jules because it’s what I want more than anything else. Life is predestined. I died years ago, and I’m destined to serve now.”

  “You’re being a dillhole. Listen to me,” he says, and leans in. “This is your chance, Nathaniel. I bet this is the reason Marcus was being such a turd to you. I want you to take my body.”

  It’s as if I’m suddenly feeling the rain. A cold crisp reality opens before my eyes. Every pore of my skin reacts to his words and opens to the possibility. I feel alive again.

  Then I’m slammed back to earth as I realize Jared doesn’t know what he’s saying. “No.” I shake off the offer. “It’s not as simple as me slipping into your skin. You have to give up your eternity to take my place. This isn’t going to happen, Jared.”

  “Yes, it is,” he says. “I want you to be with my sister. I don’t care about heaven or wherever I’m supposed to go. I want to stay right here. I want to keep an eye on my family and I want to serve.”

  “No, you don’t. It’s not that simple. You’ll be working all the time. You can’t hang around with your friends. It’s an enormous
responsibility.”

  Steven’s eagerness to go and haunt his father and cause trouble and mischief comes to mind and I’m once again consumed with shame for my selfish thoughts and desires. My position as Angel of Death isn’t held easily.

  “It’s about time I was more responsible,” Jared says. “If my death can bring one moment of happiness to my family, I’ll do it. I owe them. Especially Jules. She’s always been there for me and now I can give her you. Let’s do this, Nathaniel. Take my offer. What if you actually are demoted? You may never see her again. You know it will devastate her, too.”

  “Jared,” I start to argue but the words fail me. Could this really be happening? Is he serious? Could I take his place in the world? Isn’t this what I want? “You may not be able to see your family for some time. The training will keep you away and who knows what else.”

  “So what? If I pass to the other side, it will be the same story. I wanted to believe I could visit Juliana from time to time, like the way Star’s sister visits, but I was set straight on that misdirection. There’s no guarantee in that department.”

  “You’re right, but—”

  “But nothing. Do this with me. No one else is ever going to stand here for you again, Nathaniel.”

  “Are you sure?” I ask once more, unable to accept what’s happening.

  “More with every passing second,” he says.

  Time. Time was suddenly a pressing factor in this scenario.

  “Tell me what to do next,” he says.

  “Let’s get back down there,” I say with urgency. My mind begins to whir with the information I gained from Liam.

  Jared’s life will become mine. I will look like me, but Jared’s physical state-of-being will be mine. His age and health will remain the same. How many minutes have already passed? Time is flexible on my side of death, but for Jared’s body on the stage, time is still having its effect on his heart, brain, and the rest of him.

  “How is this going to go down?” Jared asks as we make it to the stage.

  We’re far behind the group of people surrounding the emergency.

  “Our intention is the most important part. You have to swear one hundred percent that your intent to replace me is true in your heart and soul. I have to swear an oath to you.”

  “Is that all?” he asks, surprised.

  “I think it sounds easier than it is. You’re giving up your fate and I’m leaving mine behind.”

  He shrugs like it’s no big deal, and I have a moment’s hesitation.

  “You go first so I’ll know what to say,” Jared says.

  Maybe Liam lied to me and there is more to it. What if he didn’t tell me everything? What if I’m not remembering correctly? Could I suffer through the disappointment again? What if I fall and Harmony takes me out before I can kiss Juliana?

  “Focus on me,” I say. “And don’t look away.”

  He nods and I see a flash of panic inside him.

  I stick my hand out to shake on our deal. Jared takes it without hesitation and locks his fist with mine.

  “You’ll honor your new place in this universe and help others cross over as I will honor your life by taking care of your family and being the man you leave behind. I swear no harm in this exchange. I swear to do my best in every way I can. I’ll live a long life of honor and integrity,” I say as I stare at him and into him.

  “I vow to do what is needed of me in all ways. I willingly take your place as an Angel of Death and serve to the end of eternity. We will exchange roles in our existence. I swear to do this for you, Nathaniel Evans. I swear to the depths of my being that we will trade places. Right now.”

  We fall towards one another as the stage and the world collapses around us.

  “Wait!” I hear from far away.

  In the swaying pandemonium, I see Marcus rushing at us, hands outstretched as if to grab us before we fall. A familiar oval face with cascades of blonde hair blazes forward, close on Marcus’s heels. It’s too late. The finality of our oath was sanctified as Jared spoke his last words. It is done.

  Chapter Twenty-five: Hope

  Nathaniel

  Breath roars through my lungs. The gasp assaults my ears. Did the sound come from me? Or from her? All of them? My eyelids flutter. Faces loom over me. The most important face of all is familiar. Her pale skin and graceful long eyelashes that surround green eyes with hints of glittering sun. My gaze lowers from her eyes to soft pink lips. The lips of my dreams. The perfect dent in the center of her upper lip. The plush curve of her lower one.

  Her gasp. She sees me in the flesh. My heart pounds. Blood rushes through my veins.

  “We have a heartbeat,” a foreign voice says over me. “Let’s get him transported.”

  “I thought he wasn’t going to make it,” another voice says with relief.

  “What? What happened? What’s going on?” Diane Crowson says.

  Someone grips my hand. The soft skin of her fingers, slightly knobbed knuckles is not Juliana’s hand. Charlotte’s familiar voice says, “It’s going to be fine, dear. Give Juliana some space. Please, Diane, trust us.”

  I’m lifted off the cold wet floor and placed on a stretcher. I reach up to remove the mask over my face. Part of me knows it’s pushing oxygen into my lungs, but I don’t care. It’s uncomfortable and keeping me from Juliana. That’s all I can think of.

  “You’re here,” she says, stunned, uncertain. “How? Where is he?”

  Juliana blocks my view of anyone else. She’s utterly confused and I’m having some distortion as well. My head aches fiercely and I can’t get my thoughts together to make much sense. I can’t see as well as I’d like to. My body, my new body isn’t right. There’s numbness and tingling in my limbs. A burning sensation engulfs my chest and there’s horrific pain in my calf. “My leg?” I garble.

  “Your leg?” she asks. “What’s going on? How did you…?”

  “Pain. My leg.” I attempt to reach for it, but I’m stopped by strong hands. They’re strapping me to the stretcher.

  “Don’t move,” he orders and tightens another strap.

  One of the men frees my calf from my pant leg. They mention the strange marks on my skin. My new skin. The pain on my lower leg is the center of my agony.

  “What happened here?” the medic asks.

  “It was a rattlesnake!” Juliana answers.

  “When did this happen?” he asks.

  I’m blacking out and don’t have the strength to explain.

  “Earlier this evening,” Jules answers for me.

  “Man, this guy can’t catch a break,” the other voice says.

  “Please give us some room, miss.”

  Juliana fades from view. I’m unsure if it’s because she moved or because I lose focus.

  ∞

  Juliana

  I would give anything to be in two places at the same time, I think as I watch Nathaniel being wheeled away. Marcus and Jared are in the middle of a heated discussion on the opposite side of the stage.

  Inner conflict is an absurd waste of time, but it’s also the most prevalent annoyance in my life. I can’t make up my mind, and to make things worse, I have to argue with myself over the fact. I want to stay with Nathaniel, but what if this is the last time I ever see Jared?

  Jared wins as my grandmother and mother scurry after the rolling stretcher. I can catch up with them, but I must say goodbye to my brother.

  “I’m not going anywhere until you promise that Star will be forgiven,” Jared demands.

  “Bah!” Marcus snorts as I walk up behind him.

  “Then I’m not leaving.”

  “You’re falling short of your promises already,” Marcus says with arms crossed over his massive chest.

  “J?” I ask.

  He tears his gaze away from Marcus and focuses on me. He’s all smiles and reaches out to me.

  “This is going to be the greatest scheme of all time.” He tries to hug me but of course, he no longer has a physical body. “O
h, yeah, I have to work out the body thing. How does Nathaniel do it anyway?”

  “I’m not really sure,” I squeak as Jared attempts to manifest a body in the physical realm.

  “You can’t do it. Not until you learn some respect for your new station.”

  “Now I understand why you don’t like him,” Jared says with an eye roll toward Marcus.

  “Did you agree to this?” I ask.

  “Yep. It’s not so bad. I could be a lot worse off,” Jared says.

  “Jared, you know you’re dead, right?”

  “No, Jules. I’m having the strangest dream of my life,” he says.

  “I feel like I’m dreaming right now,” I say.

  “Hey, shouldn’t you be with ol’ pretty face, the fallen one? Where is he?” Jared asks.

  “I had to say goodbye to you first,” I say.

  “Doesn’t look like it’s as urgent now,” Jared says, and lifts a hand to chuck me on the jaw.

  I feel his hand like a shadow falling across my face. This is all too much for me to process. My senses want to shut down, but I can’t. If this isn’t a dream, I have to keep holding it together.

  He says, “I sense a temporary separation coming, but no lasting goodbye.”

  Marcus adds, “He’ll be with me until he earns his place. Jared won’t be seeing his family until you’re used to his absence. But rest assured, he’ll be allowed short visits after a time.”

  “What?” I ask, trying to assimilate all the sudden changes in my corner of the universe.

  “It’s for the best, Jules. Grieving is healthy. If Jared lingers, it makes life harder to move on,” Marcus says.

  What Marcus says makes sense, but my logical side wants to turn all this off and pretend it’s another messed up vision.

  “Marcus is such a wet rag. You know what I mean? The more he talks, the more I’m starting to have second thoughts about this decision.”

  My brows reach for the sky and I goggle at both of them.

  Jared sees my expression and softens. “Jules, it’s going to be okay. I’m setting the precedent between us. I won’t be bullied and bossed around like your boyfriend. No offense toward Nathaniel, but Mr. Butthead here needs to know I’m seriously going to enjoy this afterlife since I did volunteer for it.”