Renovation

by Alexie Aaron

  “Well, it all started when the seven of them showed up on the widow’s back doorstep seeking shelter. I remember hearing dogs barking all night, and when I stuck my head out the door to see what the problem was, there they were. I knew them from my theater days - I used to do a little soft shoe when I was a young lad. I left the life for a steady paycheck,” he explained.

  “They gave me a sob story about a big misunderstanding about them taking the wrong prop crate. Evidently the crate they had was full of money. I’m not a genius, but money weighs a lot different than rubber noses and oversized shoes. I knew they were up to no good, but at the same time, I knew the law in this area was of the shoot-first-ask-questions-later type, so I hid them in the big house down the road. I had been watching it for the owner - a side job which paid very well – and I knew it had an oversized root cellar in the basement. I figured that the dogs wouldn’t be able to smell the men past the hundreds of onions and garlic that dominated the room. So I showed them the place and shut the door behind them. I never locked it, I swear.” The ghost took time to punctuate it by crossing his heart.

  “Go on,” Bev urged.

  “The next day, I went down to see if the men were still there. I found the basement a mess. The searchers had ransacked the place and a large standing shelf was blocking the exit of the root cellar. I’ll never forget it. I opened the door, and the smell of gas filled the basement. I ran and opened the windows before turning off the main line. In those days we lit the houses with gas. The searchers must have inadvertently turned on the gas without lighting the lamps. I rushed to open the cellar, and lo and behold, they were all dead. The gas had killed them. I couldn’t tell anybody because they would put me in jail as an accessory. So I closed the door and paneled over the space. The owners never came back. The old couple died on a cruise ship. I forget which one. Anyway, when their heirs showed up to claim the property, I had not only taken away any sign of the root cellar but destroyed the original blueprint to boot.”

  “What did you do with the money?”

  “What money?”

  “The money the seven stole from the train?”

  “I assumed the money was still in there with them. Didn’t you find a large metal box?”

  “No.”

  “I don’t understand then.”

  “Simon, how did you get enough money to buy this place?” Bev asked.

  The ghost blushed. “The widow’s sister-in-law and I used to knock boots whenever she visited. Her name was Honor Miller, and she was a tiger in bed. She insisted on well… taking charge. She liked to tie me up and…”

  “Whoa, I get the picture,” Bev said, putting her hand up to stop the, no doubt, vivid description of their activities being told to her and Burt. She changed the subject. “So this Honor, did she give you the money to buy the widow out?” Bev asked.

  “She left it to me in her will. She was quite a lot older than me. I believe she died a happy woman. I wasn’t the only male who received a generous amount. The Miller family kept it hush hush. They didn’t want grandma’s activities to be commonly known. So they didn’t fight the honorarium.”

  “So you used the money to buy out the widow?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “And the reason you’re wearing out the carpet here is because you were worried the bodies of the clowns would be found and traced to you,” Bev stated.

  “Yes, madam, I was.”

  “Simon, can I call you Simon?”

  “Yes, Simon is fine.”

  “Simon, you don’t have to worry. The scandal of your friends’ deaths will not be laid at your doorstep. I suspect there may be another answer. So you can either go into the light or continue to entertain your great grandnephew. The choice is yours. Hell doesn’t await you,” Bev informed him.

  Simon turned around, took a few steps and disappeared.

  Bev touched her earpiece. “Audrey, did you hear all of that?”

  “Yes, loud and clear, over.”

  “I think you should look for another performer that made it big. I have a feeling the seven were followed, and when they went into hiding, the gas was played with. After the clowns had breathed their last, this same person, or persons, stole the cash and beat feet out of there.”

  “It’s as good a theory as any.”

  “It’s a damn fine theory, worthy of an atta girl.”

  “Atta girl, Beverly, over,” Audrey said, already typing into the search engine, looking for another crook.

  Burt lowered the camera off his shoulder and rubbed it. “Good job, Bev. The audience is going to love it.”

  Bev smiled. “I hope so. Mind you, you weren’t filming my good side. But I’ll forgive you if you pop for a meal. I’m starving.”

  “It’ll have to be takeout. We’re short-staffed here.”

  “Gee, I wonder how Mia’s doing. She looked like hell when she left. Not good for an expecting mother. How are you handling this?”

  “What?” Burt evaded.

  “Having your lover impregnated by your technician, Bertie Boy?”

  “Former lover, and they’re married. Oh, I forgot, you didn’t get an invite.”

  “Don’t get snotty. I did get an invite. I chose not to go.”

  “Well, that was showing them - exchanging their hand of friendship with your raised middle finger.”

  “Touché.”

  Back in the command center, Audrey was about to break in and remind the feuding duo that they were still on mic when Glenda pulled her hand away. “Shush, it’s just getting good. Damn, and me without any popcorn.”

  “You know, you have some nerve showing up here after all you’ve done,” Burt pointed out.

  “What you don’t understand is this, Mia called me. So I think, if she is going to forgive me and release some of my mother’s money so I can pay my rent, then who am I to hold a grudge. Besides, I’ve always had a good time with you PEEPers. Lots of laughs.”

  “It’s PEEPs not PEEPers,” Burt corrected in a huff.

  “Why’d you do it?” Bev demanded.

  “Do what?”

  “Fuck my niece.”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “You took advantage of her naivety. Didn’t take you long to tire of her. Do you screw all of your help?”

  Burt’s face was beet red. “First of all, no one screwed anyone. Mia and I enjoyed a brief relationship. It was mutual, and Mia wasn’t a virgin if you’re keeping score. It didn’t work out. She moved on to Whitney and then to Ted. It seems to me, you should be asking her the rude questions, not me.”

  “Au contraire, what about Audrey? You fucked her up alright. Was she a stand-in for Mia or are you simply playing Mike Dupree’s game, but badly. At least he tells them up front he’s not going to marry them. You lead them on.”

  “Shut the fuck up! What do you know about it? You’ve been using Gerald for decades. You haven’t even visited your own child or granddaughters yet. Don’t you be playing judge and jury with me until you sort out your own house!”

  Audrey bit her lip as they listened to Bev stomp off. She turned off the com and wouldn’t look at Glenda. “Um, I guess that’s it for the Bainbridge house,” she said quietly.

  “I’m sorry, Audrey,” Glenda said. “I didn’t know they were going to go that far. I just thought we’d hear a little shit, not a shitstorm.”

  “That’s the problem with shit, Glenda. You have to eat a little if you’re going to stir it. Let’s keep this between us. Mia would be mortified. I’m mortified, and I don’t think even ballsy Bev or that fucking asshole Burt would be happy with this conversation going viral. I think we’d see the last of PEEPs. Ted’s not going to stay and let his wife be humiliated this way. My dad wants to punch Burt’s lights out as it is. I’ve just gotten so I can have a conversation with him without my stomach turning over.”

  “I’m sorry, Audrey. I really don’t think Burt’s a bad guy. He’s just not happy unless things are his way. He doesn’t wa
nt to compromise, and that’s what you have to do when you’re in a relationship. I think the idea of being tied down scares him. I do not think for one moment he ever intended on using anyone. Those two were just using all of us as weapons in a fight that should have happened a long time ago. Maybe now the air has cleared…”

  Audrey started sobbing. She turned to Glenda, and the woman held her and let her cry.

  “Burt heading over to the Malone house, over.”

  Audrey stabbed at the mic button with her finger. Glenda answered him, “We got yer twenty, big wheeler, over.”

  Audrey started laughing. “What did you say?”

  “Don’t know, heard it on Smokey and the Bandit,” she confessed. “Oh lord, girl, you need a hanky.”

  Audrey found a roll of paper towels in the bin marked fancy napkins. She blew her nose and washed her face with some bottled water. “How do I look?”

  “Like you have hay fever,” suggested Glenda.

  “Then hay fever it is,” Audrey said and sat back down. “Burt, come in please, over.”

  “Burt here, over.”

  “Did you lock up the Bainbridge house?”

  “Shit, I mean no. I think the keys are in the front door. I’ll head over there and…”

  “I’ve got this, over. Glenda is on com, over and out,” Audrey said. She handed Glenda the headset and wished her luck before leaving the command center and running down the street towards 1303.

  “Of all the unprofessional things to do,” she complained as she saw that Burt and Bev did not only leave the keys in the door but all the lights on in the house. She grabbed the keys out of the door, walked up to the third story and turned out the lights as she worked her way down. She was surprised by the gentle atmosphere of the place. “Simon, I’m Audrey, I’m just turning off the lights,” she called.

  When she had reached the stairs, she noticed how shiny the banister was, she ran her hand up and down, feeling the slickness of the wood.

  “Slide down it. Go on, you know you want to do it,” a male’s voice said behind her. Audrey turned around, and instead of seeing the ghost of Simon, there stood Matt.

  She stared at him open-mouthed for a moment. “I, er, I was just turning off the lights.”

  “How did it go?”

  “Fine. Mia had an accident, so we used one of the older sensitives, and I think Simon and her got along fine. Turns out Simon’s been upset because he thinks he killed seven clowns. We found their bodies a few hours ago. The county coroner is sending a team over to remove the clowns and investigate the find. Bev assured him that he wasn’t at fault. Am I running off at the mouth?”

  Matt nodded, his lips scrunched up, his eyes twinkling. “So did my great uncle kill the clowns?”

  “We don’t think so, but I have some research to do to prove otherwise. I’d like to tell you all about it. We’ll show you the footage when it’s been processed,” she said professionally. “Okay, if I slide down now?” she blurted out.

  “Let me go first and show you how it’s done. That way I can catch you before that newel post well, takes advantage.”

  Audrey watched, amazed, as the forty-year-old pediatric doctor climbed the rail and let gravity take him down the curving staircase.

  “Okay, your turn,” he said.

  “He reminds me of Mia,” Audrey said to herself. She hefted herself on the banister and slid down, slowly at first, slowing herself on every turn, and then she just let go and flew down fast and into the arms of Matt Bainbridge.

  He whisked her off the rail, carried her into the front parlor and set her gently on the couch. He felt her forehead and asked, “Your eyes are red. Are you feeling alright?”

  She wanted to lie to him and tell him she had hay fever, but instead she said, “I’ve had a hell of a day, and I’ve been crying my eyes out for the last, oh, twenty minutes. I think I’m done with that though. The banister cured me of my crying. Who can cry when they are flying down two flights of stairs?”

  “It’s a miracle cure, alright. Audrey, can I ask you something? Feel free to say no. I find you to be the most amazing woman, and I’d like the opportunity to get to know you better. Would you go on a date with me?”

  Audrey was dumbstruck. She wanted to ask him if Glenda had put him up to this, but she knew in her heart she hadn’t. “Yes, Matt, I’d love to. I’m presently tied up in this investigation, but let me give you my phone number.”

  Matt handed her a notepad and pencil. She jotted down the information and said as she handed it to him, “Please call, I’d love to spend some time with you.”

  Matt’s face, if at all possible, got handsomer as he smiled. “I’ll do it. I may even do it a lot. I like doing it a lot, do you?”

  “Er, Matt, what are we talking about?”

  “Spending time together. Talking on the phone, exchanging emails… I’m a lousy texter,” he confessed. “Am I being too desperate?”

  “No, not at all,” Audrey said. She stood up and handed him his keys. “I’ve got to get back. We’re short-staffed,” she explained.

  “Can I walk you to your PEEPs mobile?”

  “Yes, you can,” Audrey said laughing.

  By the time they reached the truck, Audrey was so happy that she forgot about the shitstorm. She wasn’t even sure what she had been upset about in the first place.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “I hate drama,” Mia said. “Why can’t they just leave the past behind them?”

  “It’s why people watch the show,” Ted said, adjusting her pillow. “This particular telenovela is very popular because grudges are never forgotten. Revenge is a way of life, and everyone ends up shouting or crying twice a show.”

  Cid walked in with Judy on his arm. “The cavalry has arrived!” he announced.

  Mia looked at his face when he realized he inadvertently insulted the Native American woman on his arm.

  “No, I didn’t mean… Oh boy, I’m such a putz.”

  Judy, who wasn’t aware of any problem, ignored him. She walked over to Mia and opened her bag. “Out, I have to see my patient. Mind the door. I don’t want any of those doctor’s learning my secret techniques,” she ordered.

  “You sure put your foot in it,” Ted observed, dragging Cid with him.

  Mia smiled. “Judy, it’s so good to see you. Thank you for coming so quickly. How is Ed?”

  “Impatient. He’s just spent the day with Angelo and wants to tell me all about it.”

  “The two of them spent the day together?” Mia asked shocked.

  “I’ll tell you all about it after I examine you. Now lie back, and don’t talk unless I ask you a question, yes?”

  Mia nodded.

  Judy took her hand and placed it first on Mia’s head and then on her chest. She worked her way down her body, stopping at Mia’s abdomen. “Your egg has seated and the cells are dividing nicely, a child is developing, you are 24 hours pregnant.”

  Mia wanted to say something, but one look at the serious face of the Gray Lady told her that all questions had to be kept until she had finished.

  Judy looked at Mia’s ankles and tsk tsked. She opened her bag and pulled out a small Mason jar and opened it. She dipped her fingers inside and drew out a handful of amber cream. She rubbed her hands together and then moved them around each ankle. Mia felt the warmth of Judy’s hands along with a tingling she guessed came from the ointment.

  “Turn over, please.”

  Mia did as she was told, and as she lay on her stomach, she felt Judy move from attending her broken rib to her bottom.

  “Mia, you have rug burn on your behind. Would you like to explain this?”

  “No,” she said, turning red.

  “It didn’t happen during your accident?”

  “No, it happened 24 hours ago, give or take a minute.”

  “Oh… OH!” It was Judy’s turn to blush. “Turn over and sit up, please,” she instructed.

  “Your ankles will heal but may pain you for a few days. Yo
ur rib is healed. Ribs are dangerous things; I thought I’d fix it for you. Your pinky finger, we better let Mother Nature take care of that. Your doctor has the proper cast on it, so it will heal in time. Your scalp has already knitted nicely, and I eased the swelling so it should help your headache. The rug burn is well… I left it as a nice reminder for you as to why we have beds, Mia. Your shoulder, I eased the swelling, and the doctor did a nice job setting it to rights. I’m going to leave you some ointment to put on your abrasions. They are clean but will scar unless you apply this in the morning and at night.”

  “My baby?”

  “Your child is fine.”

  “I felt a heartbeat when we, well, were spooning.”

  “Impossible. It was in your mind, nothing more. You wanted to conceive, and so you did. I take it protection wasn’t used,” she scolded.

  “There wasn’t time…”

  “There’s always time. I think you and Ted wanted to have a baby, and so you made sure it happened. How you knew you were ovulating is a mystery.”

  “How did Judge Roumain know I was pregnant?”

  “The Judge? When did you see that rascal…”

  “He was in my dream after, when we were sleeping in bed. He warned me about not taking my child into the dark world.”

  “Oh… Mia, you’re not going to like this.”

  “What?”

  “When I was first told about this dream, I dismissed it, but now a suspicion has taken root in my mind. I think you were influenced to have this unprotected time with your husband.”

  “I don’t think…”

  “Listen to me. Yes, you can’t take a child that is in utero into the dark lands, this is a fact. But I think you’ve been maneuvered into being in this condition so that you can’t go with Ted. The judge, he is protecting you.”

  “So, you’re telling me that my attacking Ted in the upper hall, encouraging him to make love to me until my skin rubbed off on the carpet, was the judge’s doing, to protect me from myself?”

  “Yes.”

  Mia’s face fell. “Don’t tell Ted. He’s insecure as it is. Let him think I was just nest crazy and wanted to conceive, please,” Mia begged. “If he knew that Roumain had a hand in this… Oh god, I feel so used.”