Flesh For Fantasy

by Joan Elizabeth Lloyd

  Finally her body quieted and Kevin stretched out beside her so she could feel the pounding of his heart. “That was amazing,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I’ve never met a more responsive woman.”

  Ellen had never experienced anything like making love with Kevin. Her body was exhausted, satiated, yet fresh and new. She giggled. “I’m so happy I want to laugh out loud.” And when she did Kevin joined her.

  “I knew when you showed up that we would end up here,” Kevin said. “I’ve been dreaming about it all week.”

  “If I were being honest, I knew it, too.”

  Lazily he stroked along her hip, yet Ellen felt his sudden intensity. “Will you come back again soon? Tomorrow?”

  “Kevin, this is all very new to me. Let’s take it slowly, okay?”

  “I don’t want to go slowly. I want to devour you six times a day. I want to make love to you in every possible way.”

  Ellen held his gaze and tried to put her feelings into words. “I need to keep this all in perspective. Today was wonderful, amazing, like nothing that’s ever been for me before and I don’t want to spoil it. I want to go slowly. Please.”

  “How can I do that when every time I look at you I will see and feel what we’ve had this afternoon?”

  More Kevin Duffy patented charisma? Did he say this to every woman he made love to on this sofa? Who cared? It would burn hot, but she’d try to tame the flame if she possibly could.

  “I want to be able to attend your art classes without feeling like the blue-plate special. I don’t know whether it’s possible, but let’s at least make an effort to keep everything in its place. I need to come to class tomorrow morning and see whether I can concentrate on painting with you in the room. I hope I can since I don’t want to find another teacher…for anything.” When he started to say something, Ellen covered his lips with her fingers. “I also want to continue what we’ve done here. Do you really want to paint me or was that just a convenient way to get me up here alone?”

  Kevin let out a quick breath and nodded. “I actually want to paint you.”

  “Maybe one afternoon next week. You can paint, and then, if we both want to, we can indulge in other passions.”

  “You are a difficult woman, but sensible. Come to class tomorrow. I can’t be with you over the weekend. That’s when the gallery is busy and I’ve got other commitments. Can you be here with me Tuesday afternoon? You can pose, and whatever.” His leer was so exaggerated that she grinned. He continued, “Having to wait until Tuesday will make the weekend go slowly, but I will know I have something to look forward to as well.”

  Ellen wondered whether she could juggle her feelings as well as she had just told Kevin she could. She wanted to make love with him over and over. It felt like a drug, making her crave more and more yet she wouldn’t allow herself to become addicted. She was too new at all this. “Yes. Tuesday afternoon.”

  Ellen wandered home in a daze and, as she had half expected, found Maggie waiting for her in the kitchen, an open bottle of wine and two half-filled glasses on the table. “I know where you’ve been, but I didn’t eavesdrop, I promise, although I will admit that, if I could have, I’d have been really tempted. Want to talk?”

  Ellen dropped her jacket on the counter and sunk, exhausted and drained, onto a chair. She took several swallows of the wine. “Wow. This is sensational. Did you bring it?”

  “I did. I’ve no idea how it is that sometimes I can walk into a store and appear just like any other person, but I brought this to celebrate or commiserate.” She raised her ever-inquisitive eyebrow. “Well? Which is it?”

  Ellen couldn’t suppress a grin. “Celebrate. It was fantastic, toe-curling, earth-moving sex.”

  “I’d love to hear as many details as you want to tell,” Maggie said, “but I’d be content with just the look on your face.” She hesitated, then slammed her palm on the table. “Like hell I would. Tell, woman!”

  Ellen told Maggie many of the details of the afternoon, omitting only those that were too personal, both to her and to Kevin. “It was astounding.”

  “So, you’re in love.”

  “With Kevin? Not at all. I do think that I’m in love with good sex, however.”

  “You’re in lust and you’re a very smart woman to know the difference. Bravo!”

  “Thanks. I hope I can live up to my big talk.”

  “I think you can,” Maggie said, finishing her wine, standing up and squeezing Ellen’s shoulder. “I’ll leave you to your sketching and your fantasies. I’ll be in touch soon, I guess. I don’t think Angela and Lucy are through with us yet.”

  “I’m glad.” Ellen stood and gave Maggie a heartfelt hug. “You’ve become very important to me.”

  Maggie returned the hug. “That goes double for me.” She left the kitchen and Ellen heard the front door close behind her. She picked up her wine and sipped. Maggie had given her several lessons in wine and now she was able to appreciate the bouquet, the color, the myriad of flavors. In the kitchen, she opened the closet over the counter where she kept several bottles of wine. She pulled out all the ones with screw caps and put them in a bag beside her garbage can. “Out with the old, and in with the new.”

  Filled with enthusiasm for life and all parts of it, she walked into the wine store in which she and Maggie had bought her first bottle. The same clerk was standing behind the counter waiting on an older couple. She walked to the wine rack on which she had found that first special bottle and studied, now better able to understand the labels. “Yes, of course,” he said, walking up behind her. “The Mount Eden Estate.” He nodded and looked impressed. “Was it as good as I’ve heard? I’ve never actually tasted it.”

  “Yes, it was. Great nose, fabulous color, and all the ripe fruit you could want. It was a great choice, but that was for a special occasion. I’m interested in something now that won’t disappoint, but that’s not quite so pricey.”

  By the time she and the salesclerk finished she had two bottles of white and two of red, and she had held her own with the clerk. Her. Ellen Harold, girl wine enthusiast. Small-town woman in the big city. She was learning.

  That evening, Ellen daydreamed, reliving her wonderful afternoon with Kevin, and did some sketching. She had been to the local branch of the library and selected several books on drawing and painting. She had read that, although she needed to get out and find places to paint, she could do some landscapes from pictures or from her imagination. In the library’s extensive video section she had taken out a travel tape of Hawaii, thinking that the unusual vistas would give her inspiration. As she sat on the sofa with the remote control in her hand, the phone rang. Absently she picked it up, expecting to hear her sister Micki’s voice. “Hello?”

  “Hello, Ellen. It’s Jim.”

  Ellen hit the pause button and dropped the remote on the sofa beside her. “Well, it’s so nice to hear from you,” she said, wondering how she could hear his voice over the pounding of her heart. After their dinner together the previous weekend, she had been enthused about seeing him again, but when he didn’t call for several days she assumed she wouldn’t hear from him again.

  “I said I’d call you in a week or so but I must admit that I got impatient. If you’re not busy this weekend, maybe we could have dinner again, this time my treat.” He rushed on. “Of course if you’re busy I’ll understand. Maybe we could do it some other time.”

  “Whoa,” Ellen said, stopping the onrushing words. “This weekend would be fine. How about Saturday?” Was this really her? Ellen asked herself. She was being so much more aggressive than she had ever been. Maybe it was because he was being so tentative, unsure, so sweet and shy, exactly the opposite of Kevin.

  “Oh. Saturday would be great. I was thinking, well, have you ever had Japanese food?”

  “You mean sushi? Raw fish? I don’t think I could.” She didn’t think she was that brave.

  “Actually there is a small, really fine restaurant called Senbazuru right around the corner
from where we ate last week. It has tempura and sukiyaki as well as sushi and sashimi. You could have cooked food and I could have what I like.”

  Ellen heard Maggie’s words. Have you ever tasted sushi?

  “That sounds terrific. What time shall I meet you?”

  “Still not comfortable with telling me where you live, I see.” When she started to protest, he said quickly, “That’s fine. Eventually I hope you’ll decide that I’m just a lonely guy questing an attractive woman to spend time with.”

  Cordless phone in her hand, Ellen stood and walked into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Not so attractive, she thought, but not half bad. Maggie was right. It was the attitude. “What time?”

  “How about seven,” Jim said and gave her the address of the restaurant. They talked for a few more minutes, then hung up. Ellen lay back on the sofa, unable to suppress a grin. She had a date with Jim. And another date with Kevin for sex. Shit. She thought of the seventies song. She was woman, hear her roar. “Roar!”

  The following morning was Friday and she knew that Kevin was holding class. She really wanted to attend so, taking her courage in both hands, she grabbed her paint box and headed off. Surprisingly, she took her place at an easel with little awkwardness and got to work quickly. Kevin was professional and only as attentive to her as he was to the other students. Just before the class ended he walked up behind her and whispered, “I wish we were alone.”

  From that moment on work became impossible. As she was leaving, he said, “I hope I didn’t ruin your concentration.”

  Her mind had filled with images of what they had been doing in that very room the previous afternoon. She blushed. “You did, just a bit but I did manage to get some good work done.”

  “I’m amazed that I managed to concentrate, but I did, too. Will you be here Tuesday?”

  Ellen’s blush deepened. “I think so.”

  “I hope so.”

  Friday evening, after an afternoon of reading about art and working with her paints, she made herself a pot of macaroni and cheese, watched some TV, and then settled in the bathtub. She had lit a few candles and poured a capful of a new body oil beneath the spigot and placed the CD player on the counter. Now her head was filled with erotic images of Kevin and Jim, the sound of clarinets and the voice of the narrator of the sensual tales of magic and power.

  Chapter

  10

  “Is there magic in the world? Skeptics doubt that magic exists, or ever did exist. Are they right? I don’t know, but there are still a few people who are willing to keep an open mind, people who believe in old stories, ancient legends, and possibilities. Like the possibilities inherent in the Mask of Invisibility.

  “Ben had lived on the same block most of his life. Several years before, when he was nineteen, an adult club called the Pleasure Parlor had set up shop several doors down from his apartment building and since then, every time Ben passed be gazed at the mysterious-looking doorway. LIVE SEX ACTS the sign read. ‘See it all happen right before your eyes.’ If he only could just slip inside and see what all the fuss was about.

  “It wasn’t that he didn’t have girlfriends. Right now Sue was his steady and he had found himself actually thinking about marriage. Yet, they hadn’t had great sex. It was good with Sue but there were no rockets, no fireworks, no earthquakes. Was it just that he hadn’t found the right woman, or did that kinky stuff only exist in Playboy and XXX-rated movies? Was there something wrong with him or with her? Would she be interested in something a bit more acrobatic? He’d probably never know.

  “One evening on his way home from an evening with Sue, he passed the Pleasure Parlor. ‘Come on in! You know you want to see what goes on inside,’ the guy standing at the doorway said. ‘Only ten bucks.’

  “ Not tonight,’ Ben said, as he’d said at least once a week since the club opened.

  “ Why not, buddy? Lots to see.’ The guy, an over-developed, muscle beach type winked at him. ‘Lots!’

  “ Not tonight,’ Ben repeated and walked on. What if one of his friends or neighbors saw him walking into that place or worse, saw him inside, utterly fascinated? He couldn’t risk the embarrassment.

  “Several strides later, he heard, Psst. He whirled around and saw a tiny woman bundled into a heavy brown coat and woolen scarf, signaling him from a doorway. ‘I know that you really want to get inside,’ she said, ‘and I can help you.’

  “ Sorry,’ Ben said, turning back toward his building. ‘Not interested.’

  “ Sure you are,’ the woman said, walking up beside him and placing her hand on his arm. ‘Things go on in there that you might never see anywhere else.’

  “Shit, Ben thought. Another come-on. These places will use anything to get a guy to pay ten bucks to get inside. ‘I’m really not interested but thanks anyway.’

  “ Listen. This isn’t a come-on. I just want you to see the sights. It’s truly educational.’”

  “Ben tried to remove the woman’s hand from his arm, but her grip was surprisingly strong. ‘Please, lady.’ He tried to get a better look at the woman but the coat covered her body completely and her face was almost hidden beneath her scarf.

  “The woman grinned. ‘Lady. That’s rich.’ She moved in front of him and stared directly into his eyes. ‘Listen, Ben, it’s this way…’

  “ How do you know my name?’

  “ I just do. It’s my job. Anyway, I know what you want. I know what you need.’ She pulled a slender piece of black cloth from her pocket. ‘This is the Mask of Invisibility. Put it on and you can go inside and experience what’s there for you. No money, no embarrassment, no nothing.’

  “Ben stared at the Lone Ranger-type black domino dangling from the woman’s fingers. ‘Okay, what’s the angle here?’

  “ No angle. I just want this for you. If you’re going to think about marriage to Sue, you need to know what else there is in the world.’

  “ How did you…?’

  “ Don’t worry about trivialities. I am giving you the opportunity of a lifetime here. Stop arguing.’

  “Ben was intrigued. ‘How much?’

  “ No charge. You get to use it until tomorrow morning. After that, it becomes just a piece of cloth.’

  “ Right. Sure. You really expect me to believe this bull?’

  “ It’s not bull. Take the mask and put it on. Walk up to Artie there by the door and see whether he asks you for any money.’

  “ Maybe this is some kind of sick joke the two of you cooked up.’

  “The woman’s shoulders rose and lowered in a long, drawn-out sigh. ‘Okay. Go into the all-night drugstore, the supermarket, whatever. Pick up something and walk out without paying. You’ll see that this really works.’

  “ Why me?’

  “ Let’s just say I’m a guardian angel. Does that make it any easier to understand?’

  “He shook his head. ‘Not really.’

  “The woman pressed the cloth into Ben’s hand and said, ‘Just use it and you’ll see everything. And no one will see you.’ She cackled at her little joke and disappeared. Just vanished into nothingness. One minute she was standing holding Ben’s arm, and the next she was gone. A voice whispered into Ben’s ear, ‘One more thing. Tell Sue about what you see. You’ll be very surprised.’

  “Ben whirled around but the sidewalk was empty. The only reminder he had of the woman’s presence was the black mask in his hand. This is all ridiculous, he told himself as he balled the domino up in his fist and headed for a sidewalk trash can. And yet….

  “With his hand suspended over the trash he looked at his fist and the cloth inside. He had always operated on the ‘what’s in it for me’ principle and he couldn’t figure out what was in this silliness for the woman. Why had she given this to him? It had to be some kind of elaborate practical joke, but why?

  “When he couldn’t come up with an answer, he decided to play along, at least for a few minutes to see what would happen. He walked several blocks to an all-n
ight convenience store, tied the mask on and slipped inside, afraid he’d be taken for a stickup man.

  “He walked around the store, seemingly unnoticed. Several people stood on the checkout line as he picked up a six-pack and stood behind a tall, heavyset man with a magazine and a large bottle of soda. ‘Thank you, sir,’ the clerk said to the tall man as he finished paying for his items. Then the clerk turned away and began to rearrange the cartons of cigarettes as though there was no one else in line. Ben put his beer on the counter but there was still no reaction.

  “He looked down at himself and to him there seemed to be no difference. He could see himself perfectly, but the clerk was completely ignoring him. ‘Sir,’ he said. ‘I’d like to pay for my beer.’ There was no reaction from behind the counter. ‘Sir!’ Nothing.

  “He turned and glanced at a mirrored sign. He wasn’t there. He waved his free hand at himself, or rather where he should be in the mirror, but there was nothing reflected. No Ben, no beer, no nothing. He lifted his hand from the six-pack and it suddenly appeared on the counter but he still wasn’t visible. The clerk turned, looked around with a puzzled expression on his face, then picked up the six-pack and replaced it on a stack beside the counter. Then he returned to his cigarette stacking.

  “Hmmm. Interesting. It seemed as if the mask worked. No one could see him. Amazing. So what are you waiting for, he asked himself. He dashed out of the convenience store and headed toward the Pleasure Parlor. Finally he’d see what went on inside and no one would be the wiser. None of his friends or neighbors would be able to see him.

  “He walked up to Mr. Bodybuilder, still hawking the Pleasure Parlor’s attractions and looked him right in the eye, his face inches from the bouncer’s. Nothing. Ben shook his head in wonderment and walked through the black curtains. The air was thick with smoke and the room was so poorly lit that at first he could see very little. It smelled of tobacco and sweat and the pungent odor of sex. The music was almost deafening, pounding drums, the rhythm unmistakable.