With the Last Goodbye

by Len Webster

  Her best friend’s boyfriend sighed. “What if I told you he—”

  “No.” She dismissed him as she took a bite and then another until she’d eaten that half of her sandwich. Josie dusted her fingertips of breadcrumbs and picked up the uneaten half and set it on the table. “I don’t want to discuss him, West. He’s the last person I should be thinking about.”

  He pressed his lips into a tight smile and nodded. “I understand.”

  “Thanks,” she said. “Where’s Stella?”

  “Oh, she’s still in the gift shop. I got tired of her trying to decide on flowers, so she sent me up before your tea got cold.”

  “Thanks, West,” Josie said appreciatively as she sat back in her seat and rested her head on his shoulder. “I don’t think I could have done this without your and Stella’s support.”

  “It’s what we’re here for, Josie. You’re like a little sister to me. You’re also a pain in my ass, but I like you. Do you want to make a bet?”

  She tilted her chin back to see the smug expression on his face. “For money or apricot chicken?”

  “Money.”

  “Okay. What’s …” She paused for a moment and let her phone ring once more. When it had ended, she asked, “What’s the bet?”

  Don’t let it involve Max.

  Don’t let it be about Max.

  Don’t be stupid right now, West.

  “I bet Stella won’t come back for another ten minutes,” he declared.

  Josie sat herself up and rolled her eyes on him. “You are so easy to hustle money out of. Fine. I bet she takes longer.”

  “Fine,” West agreed, not realising that he would be a sore loser in eleven minutes’ time.

  Josie was the loser.

  The ultimate loser.

  Not because her best friend had returned in fifteen minutes and made her the winner of the bet.

  But because West Montgomery had handed her winnings over in five-cent coins. He had gone to his car and returned ten minutes later with his workbag. She should have known not to make a bet with a man who worked in banking. In total, Josie had four hundred five-cent coins in ten small plastic bags. Stella thought it was hilarious, and Josie suspected that the couple had plotted against her. That West had all those coins waiting to pull a stupid joke on her. The couple who she believed had conspired against her and all ten bags of five-cent coins were on their way back to Josie’s apartment to pick up her laptop so she could catch up on the lectures she had missed in the past few days.

  A knock on the door stopped her from setting the flowers Stella had bought. This time, Stella had bought dandelions. Bright and yellow. Josie knew her mother would love them. The door opened, and she was stunned to find her father walking into the room. Josie’s heart ached. Shockingly, her father had come through with a promise. He was here in Melbourne. She told him she needed him, and he was here.

  For the first time in years, he had fulfilled a promise to Josie.

  “Dad,” she breathed as she set the flowers down and turned away from the bedside table.

  Her father didn’t answer her. Instead, he stared at her mother lying on the bed with tubing in her mouth and hooked up to several machines. Jeff blinked ferociously as if he couldn’t make the vision in front of him go away.

  But it was very real.

  It was now his reality as much as it was hers.

  Unlike her father, Josie had seen her mother in the hospital more times than she could count. And she had the same disbelieving expression on her face as her father had. She knew he couldn’t cope with seeing her mother so lifeless and still. Emily Faulkner was bubbly and warm. She was the epitome of life and joy and happiness.

  Right now, he wasn’t the man who had disappointed her so many times before.

  He was a man staring at the woman he had once loved.

  The woman who had carried and welcomed their only child together into the world.

  So Josie let the past be the past as she made her way towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She felt her father flinch as she set her ear to his chest. His heartbeat was frantic, and his breathing was shallow as if he was struggling to breath. It had been a long time since she had last embraced him. Since the last time she had shown him any form of affection. Closing her eyes, she held her father as silent tears escaped her. Her pride might be shot, but this, this was priceless. Although her mother would never see her attempting to make amends with her father, Josie could live every day knowing that her mother was still alive when she decided to try to finally understand her father.

  Then the most unexpected sensation enveloped her as her father wrapped his arms around her and held her.

  This was her father’s embrace.

  This was her father accepting her silent defeat for her mother.

  This was Josie surrendering.

  And this was Josie finally feeling as if she was her father’s daughter once more.

  They stood wrapped in each other’s arms for some time.

  Nothing had been said.

  Words wanted to be said out loud, but it wasn’t the time.

  This was a father and a daughter putting aside their differences.

  “Josephine,” her father whispered as one of his hands reached up and cupped the back of her head. “My sweet Josephine.”

  Just like her mother used to say.

  Just like her father used to whisper as he held her so many years ago.

  Then he pulled back to look down at her. At that moment, he wasn’t the Australian Ambassador to Germany.

  He wasn’t a diplomat.

  He was her father.

  The father he was before he left her.

  “Is there anything we can do for Emily?” he asked, fear and vulnerability echoing in his voice. He might love his German wife, but Josie knew he would always love her mother. They were childhood sweethearts, but his career and his country had needed him, and the only way to accomplish that was to divorce her mother.

  Josie shook her head. “Dr Frederickson said she has a week if we’re lucky. Her lungs have stopped functioning, so she’s on life support. And …”

  “And?”

  She swallowed the large lump in her throat, hoping that sick knot in her stomach would leave her. She did not need to feel nauseous right now. Josie untangled her arms from around her father and took a step back. She squared her shoulders and straightened her spine. “Withdrawal of life support.”

  “And you’ve made your decision?”

  “Yes,” she confirmed in a small voice, not sounding as brave as she wanted. “The doctor said it was in her best interest. I want to end her suffering, not her life, Dad. I have power of attorney, so I can sign those papers, and she’ll finally be at peace.” Her tears now blurred her vision of her father. “But as her only daughter, I can’t sign them.” Josie’s hands covered her face as she sobbed into them.

  With Stella, she never spoke of turning off her mother’s life support out loud. However, informing her father was brutal. It made her sound and feel like a monster. Josie wasn’t God or Death. These decisions shouldn’t be placed on her shoulders to weigh her down.

  She felt as if she were drowning.

  Drowning in her tears.

  In her regrets.

  In her fears.

  In the heaviness of her decision.

  She was drowning in life.

  In the way life was making her choose.

  Arms were around her and lips pressed into her hair.

  “You’re so brave, Josephine. Your mother would be so proud of you,” her father whispered. “Whatever you decide, you’ll have my support.”

  And for the first time in fourteen years, Josie felt her father’s love for her in his words and his embrace.

  They had found a silver lining.

  And how rare and bittersweet it was.

  Josie stood back as she watched her father stand by her mother’s side. They had hugged for a while until he asked if it was okay for him to
see her. She trusted her father with her mother, but Josie was too vulnerable to trust in having a proper relationship with him just yet. He had given her belief by showing up in Melbourne.

  They were taking baby steps.

  Her father slowly reached out and traced his fingertips along her mother’s temple. Josie felt transported back to when she was a child and she used to look up from practising in the lounge room. She would see her father lovingly trace the features of her mother’s face. Josie would always smile and then beg her parents to watch her practice her dancing.

  Then the breakup of her family had happened so quickly that she got whiplash.

  One day her father was home, carrying her over rain puddles.

  The next, she was waving goodbye to him at the airport. He never turned around and that had devastated Josie.

  Then disappointment after bitter disappointment.

  “Oh, Emily,” her father whispered as his thumb brushed her cheek and tears rolled down his face. “How could you not tell me? You raised our beautiful daughter all your own, my love. I still love you. I’ll always love you, Em. Seeing you like this breaks my heart.” He bent down and pressed his lips to her mother’s forehead. “I’m sorry I let you down so many times throughout the years. I left you too soon, and now you’re leaving us too soon.”

  Josie couldn’t take it anymore.

  She turned and made her way out of the hospital room and closed the door behind her, letting her father have time alone with her mother.

  Seeing her father crying hurt too much.

  He was a strong, stern man.

  He was a diplomat and hadn’t shown any emotion towards her since she was a little girl, so to see him so destroyed was too much for her to bear.

  Josie walked down the hall until she was some distance away from her mother’s hospital room and broke down, falling to the ground and letting her heavy heart win.

  Her father had regrets.

  And he could never make amends the way he probably wished.

  As for Josie, she had her own regrets.

  And she had no idea how to free herself without losing herself.

  After her tears stopped falling and she managed to get herself under control, Josie picked herself up from the ground and wiped the moisture from her cheeks. She was thankful she had broken down in an empty corridor where no one could see her at her weakest. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed someone familiar.

  Just as Josie turned to see them clearly, the woman at the end of the hall was gone. For a second, she thought it was Katie Sheridan, Max’s little cousin. But Josie knew it wouldn’t be.

  She was losing her mind.

  Regret and heartbreak had her seeing things.

  It didn’t help that she missed Maxwell Sheridan completely.

  But she had to remind herself that he was now in Boston, and soon enough, he’d forget her, and she’d be nothing but a memory.

  A memory he wouldn’t hold onto.

  To: MaxwellSheridan@GordonSheridan.com.au

  From: AndyWallace@gmail.com

  Subject: Back in Boston.

  Hello Max,

  I just wanted to send you this quick email to let you know that I arrived back in Boston. During my flight from Sydney to LA, I realized how stupid and selfish I have really been. I didn’t consider your feelings or where you were in your life when I begged you to come work for G&MC. I had hopes of us being together and getting to know each other. I thought it was a sign we were meant to be together when Gregson informed me that Noel had recommended you in helping our legal department.

  But I didn’t take your feelings into account. It didn’t even occur to me that you could have moved on. I realized that I let you be the guy who waited. That I could go on with my life and expect that you’d be there waiting. I thought, if this guy could want me despite me being in love with his best friend, then he could wait until I was over my ex-boyfriend.

  How stupid was I to think no other woman would love you?

  Hearing the love in your voice reminded me of when Noel told me Clara was who he truly loved. You really love this woman. So much so that you protected her by not telling me who she is.

  I admire how loyal you are, Max.

  You risked being unhappy to make things right with Noel.

  In the middle of your call, I thought, “Here I go again. Another guy is gonna leave me for someone else …”

  But then I quickly realized that I wasn’t yours.

  I was never yours.

  It was the other way around.

  You were leaving someone for me.

  Like you said, you hurt someone for me.

  And you shouldn’t have.

  I shouldn’t have let you become that person forced to choose.

  I’m sorry, Max.

  For wasting your time.

  For making you wait.

  For going after you when I had no right to.

  I wish you and your love the very best.

  And don’t worry, this will be the last you hear from me.

  We hired a new lawyer to help with the redrafting of the contracts. I already told Noel that your services were not needed. I made sure it sounded like it was professional and not personal.

  I have to be honest with you, Max. I was very relieved when you called, and you didn’t get on that plane.

  You would have settled for me, and you deserve a woman who loves you and puts you first. I’m sure you’ve already found her.

  We had a moment under a tree.

  She has the rest of the sky to be under it with you.

  Skies of blue and clarity.

  Skies of stars and brightness.

  She has them all with you.

  I wish you both so much happiness.

  Regards, (hopefully) your friend,

  Andrea Wallace.

  A small smile spread across his lips as he finished reading Andrea’s honest email. She was right. They had a moment under a tree. But he had so much more than that when he stood on that bridge with Josephine over ten months ago.

  Goodbye had been said to another past flame.

  And now he had to make amends to the only fire he would ever want to stand next to and let consume him.

  Josephine Faulkner.

  But all his calls and texts continued to go unanswered.

  He just had to hope she’d get so annoyed by him that she would answer, and it would be his opportunity to undeservingly ask for her time so he could explain.

  Just as he went to reply to Andrea’s message to wish her the very best in her career and life, his phone rang. Mindlessly, he reached for it and answered it without taking his eyes off his laptop screen.

  “Hello,” Max said once he pressed the phone to his ear.

  “Okay,” his cousin, Katie, said in a huff.

  “Katie?”

  There was some more talking from her end, and Max wasn’t sure the call was meant for him. “Sorry, Max. Right, where was I?”

  He let out a chuckle. “You called me.”

  “Oh, right. Sorry. I’m distracted with this menu. Anyways, I’m super glad you’re back and didn’t go to Boston and everything, but I have a very important question to ask you.”

  “And what’s that?” Max asked as he abandoned his reply to Andrea and leant back into his office chair.

  “Wait, where are you right now?”

  “Work.”

  “And your dad just took you back?”

  Max rolled his eyes. His cousin had gone off topic once again. “I didn’t quit, Katie. I just asked for some leave and decided that I had no business being in Boston—”

  “That’s right!” Katie yelled, interrupting him. “Max, why would Josie be at the hospital today?”

  “WHAT?”

  Josie …

  Hospital?

  Every cell in him stopped at those two words.

  Katie hummed. “Yeah. I saw her at the Royal Melbourne Hospital. Do you know why she would be there?”
r />   “I have no idea. Hang on a second. How do you know what Josie looks like?”

  “I met her the other day,” she said. Max could hear the smug smile in her voice. “So do you know why she would be at the hospital?”

  Max shook his head as he stood from his chair. “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.”

  God, please be okay, Josephine.

  “Okay. Let me know if she’s okay,” Katie insisted, sounding concerned.

  Max’s spine stiffened at the realisation. “Why were you at the hospital today, Katie? Are you okay? Are your parents okay?”

  “I’m fine, Maxwell. I’m dating a resident. I was meeting him there so we could go to lunch together, and he gave me a tour. Now, forget about me and go see if Josie’s okay.”

  Max had so many more questions for his cousin but decided to put a hold on them. Right now, he had to find out why the hell Josie would be at the hospital. And he hoped and prayed that she was okay and not seriously hurt.

  Katie: So Alec says the nurses won’t tell you what floor or room because you’re not Josie’s immediate family. I saw her in ICU. Take the elevator to that wing and turn left once you step out. The first hallway you see is where I saw her. Please let me know if she’s okay.

  Max stepped out of the elevator and took in the busy ICU wing of the Royal Melbourne Hospital. As instructed by his cousin, Max turned and made his way down the first hallway on his left. He added some confidence in his walk in hopes that no one suspected him of not being a relative of one of the admitted patients.

  If Josie was hurt or sick, he had to be there.

  He might have let her down once, but he wouldn’t let her down a second time.

  Max made a mistake, and he was determined to spend the rest of his life making up for it.

  He continued down the hallway until he heard two people talking. Max lifted his gaze from his phone to find a man in a white lab coat with his back to him. He could just see Josie as he halted his steps, allowing them to continue their conversation.