With the Last Goodbye

by Len Webster

  Thump.

  Squeeze.

  Thump.

  Squeeze.

  Thump.

  His heart’s beating was off. It was so damn full of her love that it was uncomfortable. He loved the sensations. He loved them because they were true. His heart was always and forever going to be hers.

  “I’m still in love with you, too,” he added. “I look at you not because I’m in love with you, but because I’m looking at my life. My life is you, Josephine Faulkner. And I will be by your side when you sign or don’t sign that form. No matter what, I’m by your side.”

  A tear slipped down her cheek. She pressed her face into his shoulder and said, “Thank you.”

  When they returned to Josie’s mother’s hospital room, they walked in to find Jeff’s head against the mattress as he slept. Max and Josie had stood by the bed for a moment and took in the sight before they slipped out of the room and stood out in the hall.

  “I just texted Stella and told her not to come,” Josie said as she locked her phone.

  Max nodded. “You want your dad to spend the rest of the day with your mum?”

  “Yeah,” she confirmed. “He not only broke my heart but hers as well. She never loved anyone after him. So I’m doing it for her. She deserves the best goodbye, and that’s letting her have a day with him—” Josie paused as her phone beeping got her attention. “Stella’s going to visit tomorrow.”

  “Will anyone else visit?” Max asked.

  She shook her head. “My mother didn’t want people to know. She has plenty of friends but none of them know.”

  “Why?”

  “She cares too much about them. She doesn’t want them to remember her sick. She wants them to remember her happy and smiling. Not the version in that bed. Trust me, if she could have kept it from me, she would have. She doesn’t like to upset people,” Josie explained.

  “Your mother sounds incredible and selfless,” he said.

  Josie smiled. “You would have liked her.”

  “I already do, Josephine,” he clarified as he looked down at her by his side. “Do you wanna come back to my place for dinner? You don’t have to say yes. I can drop you home if you’d like.”

  Josie wrapped her arms around his and nodded into his shoulder. “Your place, please. Stella’s with West, and I don’t want to go home to an empty apartment.”

  Max dipped his head and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll have to grab some groceries on the way home.”

  Home.

  Home with Josephine.

  It sounded so right that his heart swelled in his chest.

  “Okay. I’m just going to say bye to my mother and tell my father that I’m going. I’ll tell him that I haven’t signed the form and won’t until I talk to Dr Frederickson tomorrow. I’ll let him know he still has time with her.”

  His plans of cooking for Josephine had turned into ordering her Chinese takeout. It had been her idea, saying that since they missed lunch, she was starving and craved Chinese. Max had found the nearest China Bar and ordered their food to go.

  He’d save the cooking for next time.

  Josephine wanted Chinese, and he was going to deliver.

  When they arrived at his apartment, he set up their food on the coffee table in the lounge and let her unwind on the couch while he got them soft drinks from the fridge. When he returned, Josie patted the spot next to her and Max sat down. He then reached for a takeout container containing his order of lemon and pepper chicken and rice.

  Just as he grasped the chopsticks she offered him, he felt his phone vibrate in his inner suit jacket pocket. Sighing, Max stabbed the chopsticks into the rice and set his food back down on the coffee table. He reached into his pocket and felt the papers brush against his fingertips. He had forgotten that she had given it to him for safekeeping. Max pulled out the form and stared at it. From the corner of his eye, he could see her gazing at it. Setting it on his lap, Max pulled out his phone from his pocket.

  He unlocked it to find a text message from Alex Lawrence, his best friend who currently lived in New York. And the same best friend who Sarah Collins was seeing when Max had slept with her when he was a teenager.

  Alex: Hey, Max! Noel told me that you decided not to come to the States. I was looking forward to seeing you. I also wanted you to finally meet my son. I never get the chance to Skype you so Will can see you.

  “Everything okay?” Josie asked next to him.

  Max nodded. “It’s Alex. Noel told him that I didn’t go to Boston. He was looking forward to seeing me.”

  “Oh,” Josie breathed, sounding upset.

  He craned his neck to see the guilt on her face and in her eyes. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I chose you, Josephine. I had plenty of opportunities to come clean to Alex, but I was just a coward because I was scared to lose him as my best friend. But you, I love you, and I will never regret not getting on that plane. I’ll tell Alex the truth soon. Telling him shouldn’t have jeopardised your love for me.”

  Josie leant forward and set her takeout container down on the table. She brought her legs up on the couch and got on her knees. She set her hands on the side of his head and brought him closer until her lips pressed against his forehead.

  “I love you.” She pulled back; her hands left him, and she sat back down.

  “I’m going to tell him why. Is that okay?”

  She dragged her teeth along her lip. “You’re going to tell him you love me?”

  Max grinned as he nodded. “If that’s okay?”

  “More than okay. I’ll let you text him while I go to the bathroom quickly.” Then she was up and out of the lounge before he could even tell her where it was. Max assumed she’d either find it or use his en suite.

  Glancing down at his screen, he decided to tell Alex about Josephine. Telling him about Sarah had to be done in person, and that required Max to be in New York. A trip he’d have to make.

  Max: Hey, Alex. How are you and the family? Bet Will is growing up so fast. How old is he now? We have to Skype soon so I can see him. I’m sorry I didn’t go to the States.

  Alex: He’s almost twelve weeks. It’s incredible to see him grow. Keira said she’ll send you pictures. We’re all good here. Pumpkin spice has taken over, so you know it’s fall. How are you? Seen my sister and brother-in-law lately? Hey, don’t even be sorry about not being here.

  Max: I’m good. I saw Noel the other day. He was at my apartment after I decided not to go to Boston.

  He paused his texting and smiled, knowing that he could honestly, without any shame, admit he was in love.

  Max: I’m good. I saw Noel the other day. He was at my apartment after I decided not to go to Boston. I stayed because I’m in love with Josephine and wanted to be with her.

  Max watched the ellipses appear as Alex began to type.

  Then they disappeared.

  It had felt like an hour and not seconds before they reappeared and Alex’s message appeared on the screen.

  Alex: Like my little sister’s friend Josephine?

  Max: You make Josephine sound like a teenager, Alex. She’s twenty-two.

  Alex: I call her “Josie.”

  Max: Well, I tell her “I love you.”

  More ellipses.

  Christ, Alex is a slow texter.

  As he waited for Alex to reply, Josie waltzed into the lounge with a big grin on her face. “Even your bathroom has the most incredible view of the city. I never want to leave your apartment, Max. I think I’m in love with it.”

  He chuckled as she picked up her dinner and sat back down on the leather couch. Max threw his arm around her and brought her to the side of his body. “Josephine, you can stay over whenever you want.”

  She raised her brow. “Really?”

  “If my bathroom brings out that smile, then hell yeah.”

  “I really do love the view,” she muttered.

  “Please tell me you love the owner of the apartment you’re in love with more?�
��

  Josie rolled her eyes and returned to eating her Chinese food, leaving him hanging.

  But he knew that she definitely was in love with him more.

  Alex finally replying got his attention.

  Alex: I’ve been waiting to hear this for some time, Maxwell. I’m happy for you. Tell Josie I said welcome to the family. Let me know when I can Skype you so Will can see Uncle Max. It’d be nice to have Josie in the video, too. I’d better get back to bed. My shift changing the nappy has ended, and William is snug as a bug. I’ll text you at a more reasonable hour on my end. Bye!

  Max: Thanks, Alex. I appreciate hearing that from you. I’ll text you later.

  When Max sent the message, he set his phone next to him on the couch and noticed Josie staring up at him.

  “So what did Alex say?” she asked, fear lacing her voice. She wanted his best friend’s approval. She got it and more.

  “He said welcome to the family, Josephine.”

  Relief flood her light blues. “The family?”

  Max nodded as he leant over and picked up his takeout container. “You were already a part of our family a long time ago.”

  “I was?”

  “Yeah.” He smiled. “We just made it official.”

  “Josephine,” Max whispered.

  “No,” she whined. “I’m so comfortable lying on you like this.”

  Max chuckled, and she felt his chest move underneath her. “Gotta get you home.”

  Josie let out a huff as she sat up. Her eyes roamed him as he lay on the couch staring up at her. His shirt was all creased from her lying on top of him. The hem exposed his smooth stomach. He had that lazy, contented smile on his face that she loved.

  It had been an emotional day for her.

  She had a heart to heart with her father about her mother and their favourite memories. And Max showed her his favourite place in Melbourne to distract her—even if it was only temporarily. Then he made her fall in love with him when he told her that he revealed to Alex that he was in love with her. Someday soon, she hoped that Max would tell Alex about Sarah. It was the only remaining regret he wasn’t free of. But she knew he wanted to tell his best friend in person. Max also revealed that Noel knew about Andrea, and he had nothing to forgive Max for.

  Max sat up and pulled his shirt back in place. “You okay?”

  Josie nodded. “I just wanted to say thank you for today. For staying with my mother while I talked to my dad. I really do appreciate all your support, Max.”

  “You don’t need to thank me.”

  “I really do need to thank you,” she said as she pressed her hands onto the leather couch and leant forward, her lips almost touching his. “Thank you,” she breathed, then pressed her lips to his in a chaste kiss.

  “Thank you.”

  And another chaste kiss.

  “Thank you.”

  Max’s hand found the back of her head and deepened that sweet, short kiss into something long and lingering. His mouth was hot on hers as he guided her onto her back so flawlessly that she had no idea how it happened. All Josie knew was that she didn’t want his lips to stop.

  Didn’t want his tongue to cease its tracing over her lips.

  Didn’t want his body to leave hers as she widened her legs and he settled there.

  They both groaned at the contact.

  “We can’t,” he murmured as his lips dragged from her mouth to her chin and to her neck.

  He peppered kisses up and down her neck, and Josie rolled her hips, feeling his hardness pressed against her core.

  She knew it was too soon for them to be intimate.

  She didn’t want Max to think she was using him to feel other emotions.

  Using him to forget the reality of her life.

  But this need in her was her missing him.

  Her wanting his love.

  Max’s kisses ended, and she felt his breath against her ear. “We can’t, Josephine,” he panted. “Not without me feeling like I’m taking advantage of you.”

  God, she loved this man and his heart.

  Josie grasped the sides of his face and pulled him back so that their eyes locked. “I love you,” she whispered. “Thank you for respecting me and my emotional state right now. You have no idea what this means to me.”

  “Can I ask you a question?” He wrapped his arms around her back and sat them up.

  She nodded.

  “Can you stay tonight? I really loved just sleeping with you, Josephine.”

  She let out a soft laugh. “You want me to just sleep with you?”

  “Please.”

  Josie nodded. “I want to just sleep with you, too.”

  And at that moment, Josie’s broken heart had never felt more full and loved in such a long time.

  Getting off the couch, Josie held out her hand and Max took it as he got up. She led him down the dark hallway and towards his bedroom. When she reached the door, she pressed her palm against the wood, pushed it open, and stepped inside, dragging Max inside. He kicked the door closed the moment she spun around. The city lights brightened his room, and it was just enough to see him.

  To see that love in his eyes.

  To also see the grief in them.

  “You know I love you,” he uttered as he stepped closer, closing the distance.

  “I know,” she confirmed as she grasped his hands and coerced them to the hem of her black shirt.

  “You know why I can’t make love to you right now, right?”

  Josie nodded as she dropped her hands from his wrists and held her arms up so he could remove the material from her torso. When he had the shirt off, he dropped it on the floor, and Josie nodded.

  “I know, Max,” she said as her fingers found the button of her jeans, and she unsnapped them. She pulled the zipper down and then began to push her pants down her hips until they pooled at her ankles and she kicked them off.

  Max slipped his shirt over his head and let it join her clothes on the floor. With no trouble at all, he unbuttoned his jeans and stepped out of them, leaving him only in his boxer briefs.

  The desire in his eyes drew her in.

  She wanted him.

  Not to replace the pain in her chest.

  But because she truly loved him and wanted to be with him.

  However, the determination on his face had her conceding defeat.

  He wanted to sleep.

  Just sleep with her.

  And as Josie wrapped her arms around his neck, she knew that this was a new form of intimacy they found. Max bent his knees, and his palms grasped behind her thighs, lifting her off the ground as he walked them to his large bed. He gently laid her down on top of the covers and covered her body with his, settling between her legs with his hands pressing the mattress above her head.

  The feel of him made her breathless.

  The feel of his chest against her breasts was heaven.

  No man evoked such emotion, want, need, and love within her.

  Josie untangled her arms and pressed her palms to his jaw as he looked in her eyes. “Max?”

  “Yes, Josephine.”

  The ache in her chest made an appearance. She took a deep breath as her fingers caressed his cheek.

  “Will you come with me to the hospital in the morning?”

  “Of course,” he assured in a soft voice.

  A small smile tugged at her lips, but it faded at the realisation of what tomorrow meant. So she took another breath as her tears began to well. “Will … Will you be there with me when …?”

  Max pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “When you sign the papers?”

  Josie nodded. “Yes.”

  “I’ll be right by your side, Josephine,” he promised and pressed another chaste kiss to her lips. He rolled off her body to lie on his back then got under the covers. Josie lifted her hips so the blanket draped her, too. Then Max reached out, bringing her body to his. He wrapped his arms around her, assuring her it would be okay.

  Josie sett
led her ear to his chest and let her eyes fall close.

  Max might have walked and walked until he found that lane of trees that gave him another perspective of the city. But Josie had wandered and wandered until she found a new perspective of life in his arms, and she could never thank him enough for that.

  Because in Max’s arms wasn’t just her favourite part of Melbourne.

  He was her heart’s favourite sight.

  By the time Max drove Josie back to her apartment, Stella was already gone. Josie had gone to her bedroom door to find that her best friend had left her a note to let her know she’d meet her at the hospital. Josie smiled at the yellow sticky note and entered her room while Max waited in the car. She had told him that she was okay with him coming up to her apartment, but he refused and said that it would be quicker if she went up on her own. When she returned, Max had handed her a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin he had ordered at a McDonald’s drive through while she got ready.

  Josie appreciated his thoughtfulness and had sipped her coffee as he drove them to the hospital. She had given Max the blueberry muffin to eat as he drove. Josie couldn’t stomach food right now.

  Not with what she planned to do today.

  Guilt circled her stomach, that tight knot caused her to feel dizzy.

  Every time she thought of signing those papers, she felt horrible.

  She was even tempted to ask Max to pull over so she could throw up.

  As if he sensed her internal struggle, Max wound down the window a fraction to let fresh air into the car and then reached out and grasped her hand, squeezing it gently. She appreciated his support and knew that he’d be by her side when she did sign her name on that line. Josie could have done it last night or even this morning, but she wanted her father to be there when she did. Although Josie had the final decision, she respected her mother too much to take it away from her father.

  Josie glanced over to see the bouquets of pink roses Max had purchased at the gift shop. He had bought eight in total, saying her mother should be surrounded in roses. To have her last moments be La Vie En Rose. Tears spilt from the corners of her eyes when he told her the reason for all the roses. As she peeked up at Max, he looked down at her and offered her his best smile. When she woke up this morning, he had rubbed her back as she’d cried into his chest.