Desire Had A Name: The Bad Baker Boys: Matt's Story

by Tonya Brooks

  “There was nothing to work out,” she denied vehemently. “We were miserable together and made damn sure everybody knew it.”

  They had at that. “The only thing that was wrong with your marriage was separate bedrooms.” Jedidiah said bluntly. “Without that locked door between you, everything would have been fine.”

  “Sex is what got us into this mess in the first place,” she reminded him dryly.

  “And it would have saved your marriage.”

  “I didn't want to save it!”

  “Didn't you?” He queried with a knowing look. He'd seen the way Harley's eyes had followed Matt when he wasn't looking. The girl had been as crazy about his son as Matt had been over her.

  “If I had, I wouldn't have left.” She assured him and couldn't prevent the bitterness from entering her tone when she added, “And Matthew sure as hell didn't ask me to stay.”

  “Would you have stayed if he had?” He asked curiously. When she hesitated a second too long, he knew the answer. “You would have.”

  “For Jed's sake.”

  The older man shook his head tiredly. Arguing with Harley had always been like banging your head against a wall. All you got out of it was a headache. “He's not the same young fool you remember,” he said seriously. “Matt's grown up a hell of a lot.”

  “So have I.” Harley replied firmly. “I know what I want and nothing is going to stop me from getting it.”

  Matt could. If he set his mind to it, Jedidiah thought in satisfaction. He just needed a nudge in the right direction.

  ~~~~

  Harley drove down the all too familiar streets and noticed very few changes had been made over the years. She passed Ted's diner and smiled, because in spite of it all, she had some good memories of what she had always referred to as her second home. She had literally grown up inside that diner from the time she was born until she had left town. It held eighteen years worth of memories and not all of them were bad.

  Her mother had arrived in Lakeside virtually destitute with a small child in tow and pregnant with the second. At seventeen, Claire Abbot had run away from home with the boyfriend her father hated, and before she knew it, she was pregnant with Stella. Thomas hadn't been particularly pleased at being saddled with a baby, but he had provided for her without too much complaint. Fortunately, he’d had a sidecar on his motorcycle so they could haul the baby with them as they traveled cross country like they'd left home to do.

  The young couple had picked up odd jobs in whatever town they landed in and enjoyed their nomadic lifestyle and each other without restraint. After three years on the road, Claire became pregnant with their second child and that was more responsibility than a bad boy like Thomas could handle. He had dropped her and their daughter, Stella off at Ted's diner and told them to wait there while he went to have the bike serviced at the garage two blocks over.

  After a few hours, Claire began to worry that something was wrong. When she walked to the garage to discover that Thomas had stopped there just long enough to drop off a saddle bag full of their meager possessions, she became frantic. Retracing her steps to the diner, she sat in a booth all day, waiting and worrying before she accepted the fact that he had abandoned them.

  Knowing that she would never be welcome in her parents’ home after she had disgraced them by running away and having two children out of wedlock, she began wondering what she was supposed to do alone. She was still in a state of shock at closing time when the couple that owned the diner asked if there was someone they could call to come get her. She looked down at her daughter sleeping in the booth beside her and broke down as she tried to explain what had happened.

  The sympathetic couple very generously offered her a room for the night and took the distraught young woman and her child home with them. Ted and Beth Johnson were good God fearing folks and they did what few others would have been willing to. They not only gave her a place to stay in their home, they hired her as a waitress and even set up a playpen in the diner's storage room so Stella would have a place to play and nap while Claire worked.

  She saved every dime she could and it took several months, but she managed to get them into a furnished studio apartment just before Harley was born. It was hard on her trying to raise two rambunctious little girls on her own, but they were her precious daughters and she did whatever she had to in order to provide for them. Ted always made sure they had plenty to eat and he and Beth were the closest thing to family that Claire had.

  Most of the folks in town turned their noses up at the foolish young woman and gossiped about her no matter what she did. The women were particularly vicious as their men were too interested in the beautiful young waitress and that was another black mark against her. Claire fended off advances on a regular basis from married and single men alike.

  She was clearly an immoral woman since she had two illegitimate children and was considered fair game by the male population. However, she had no interest in taking up with another man and had no qualms letting them know it. Her daughters were her whole world and she had no inclination for another man, married or single.

  Once Stella and Harley were in school, Beth watched the girls for her so she could attend night school and get her high school diploma. After she graduated, the Johnson's gave her a glowing recommendation when she applied for a job as a bank teller. The bank manager was a regular customer at the diner and he had actually suggested she apply for the job when it came open.

  Jason Alexander had met Claire at the diner the day after she arrived in town and had been one of the few people who had shown compassion for her and her girls. He hired her, much to everyone's surprise, and within a year she had advanced to a clerk in the loan department.

  When a small three bedroom home loan had been forfeited, Jason had suggested that Claire purchase the house and even worked out a payment plan that she could afford. The young mother was thrilled to be able to give her daughters a real home for the first time and she eagerly jumped at the chance. It took a while to furnish it and when she did, it was with yard sale finds and Salvation Army purchases, but in spite of the used furnishings, it was their home and they loved it.

  Within a couple of years, Claire had been promoted to loan officer and purchased a used car so she and the girls didn't have to walk everywhere or take the bus. The car gave them the freedom to explore the neighboring towns as well as visit the nearby beach any time they wanted to. The air conditioner didn't work half the time but that didn't matter to them. The important thing was that they had a reliable means of transportation of their very own.

  By the time Stella made it to high school, Claire had become the loan department manager and the salary increase allowed them to purchase new furniture for the first time, and before Harley graduated, she bought a brand new car that everything worked on. It had been a long and arduous journey but Claire never regretted the sacrifices she had made in order to provide for her daughters.

  As the years passed, the residents of Lakeside came to realize that she was a good mother and not the wild young woman she had been reputed to be. Only the holier than thou crowd continued to label her as a fallen woman and her daughters as bastards. Claire didn't care what they said about her, but she had always been fiercely protective of her daughters, especially after the gossips had turned their venom on her girls during their teenage years. The feisty mother had been known to put the busy bodies in their place on more than one occasion.

  She regretted the way her relationship with Thomas had turned out, but not the two precious daughters that she had gained because of it. Yes, she had regrets, but having the girls was not one of them. They were the most important thing in her life and she loved them unconditionally. In spite of what had happened to her, Claire had taught her girls to always follow their hearts, and her youngest daughter had dearly regretted following that particular piece of advice for more years than she cared to remember.

  Harley pulled into the driveway and smiled in genuine pleasure. The fir
st time she had ever seen this house and known it was going to be their home, it had been as magical as any castle in a fairy tale. In reality it had been a plain white cottage with a small front porch, but now it looked like a model home.

  The clapboard had been replaced with white vinyl siding, new energy efficient windows framed by black shutters, a deep red front door and a copper colored metal roof gave it a more modern and streamlined look. Her mother had even removed the masses of flowering bushes and vines that had overrun the yard and replaced them with neatly manicured beds that completely dispelled the country cottage feel.

  Harley removed her suitcases from the trunk and walked up onto the porch, pleased with the changes that she saw. The old porch swing had been replaced with two wicker chairs dressed in warm red cushions with a matching table between them that held a bright red geranium. The copper light fixture and matching house numbers added the perfect touch and it was almost a different house.

  She opened the door and called out, “Mom, I'm home.”

  “It's so good to finally have you home.” Claire said happily as she rushed into the room to hug her daughter.

  “I wish I could say it was good to be back.” Harley sighed as she dropped her suitcases and returned the hug. Her mother had completely redecorated the living room and it looked wonderful, she noticed proudly. “The living room turned out even better than I thought it would.”

  “I couldn't have done it without you.” Claire admitted as she surveyed the room that she had decorated with her daughter’s expert advice. “The brown wall was a little scary when you mentioned it, but it turned out beautifully.”

  Harley had suggested that she paint one accent wall chocolate and the rest of the walls a muted sage green. The chocolate had been shocking next to the pale walls, but once she placed the sage colored sofa in front of it, everything blended nicely. She had also added two brown and sage patterned arm chairs with matching drapes and the contrasting throw pillows brought it all together. The splashes of teal scattered about the room added an additional pop of color and the steel and glass tables trimmed in wood made everything look clean and contemporary.

  “I love it.” Harley enthused.

  “I do, too.” Claire confessed as she grabbed a piece of luggage. “Your room hasn't changed.”

  “I told you to redo it.” Harley complained as she walked down the hall to her old bedroom and saw that absolutely nothing had changed. Even the posters still hung on the walls. Her homecoming queen crown rested atop the dresser and the wall surrounding the mirror was covered with pictures of her and Mark. It was like stepping back in time and that was something she definitely did not want to do. Some things were better left in the past and forgotten.

  “I kept hoping you'd come home to stay,” she admitted as she placed the bag on the bed.

  Harley turned to her mother and hugged her. “Redo the room, Mom. I'm never coming back.” she said seriously.

  “Well, you're here now.” Claire smiled happily. “And since you are, you can redo the room.”

  “That I can do,” she readily agreed.

  “Did you take Jed to the garage?”

  “Yes,” she said as she hefted a suitcase onto the bed and began to remove her clothes before they wrinkled any more. “And I dropped his things off at the house. It was good to see the old man again.”

  “Did you see Matt?” She asked as she began to hang the clothes in the empty closet.

  “I did.”

  “He's still a handsome devil.” Claire said knowingly and wasn't surprised when her daughter didn't respond. Harley had always ignored anything that she didn't want to deal with, unless forced to do otherwise. “Did you tell him?”

  “No, not with Jed there,” she confessed as she switched to the second suitcase. Harley would prefer to keep the divorce quiet so that her son didn't find out about it. Jed believed they were already divorced, like everyone else, and she really didn't want to have to try and explain to him how it had happened since she didn't completely understand it herself. “I'm meeting him at Mark's bar tonight.”

  Claire frowned at that. “Are you sure a public setting is the best place to have that conversation?” Knowing those two they'd wind up in a shouting match and the whole town would know they were still married by morning.

  “I don't see why not.” Harley said confidently. “I'm sure Matthew will be as shocked as I was, but there's no reason for us not to behave in a civilized manner.”

  The older woman had reservations about that, but kept them to herself. Harley and Matt had always had a volatile relationship, to say the least, and anytime they had a disagreement they both seemed to lose all sense of reason and behave badly. “Are you going to tell him about Donald?”

  “Jed already did.”

  Wide eyed at that revelation, she asked, “How'd he take it?”

  “Matthew seemed shocked and I really can't blame him,” she admitted. “After our fiasco of a marriage he probably thinks I'm insane to try it again.”

  “Marriage is an honorable institution.” Claire said with a grin. “And anyone who tries it more than once needs to be put in one.”

  “One what?”

  “Institution.”

  “Mom,” she said wearily and shoved the empty suitcases under the bed. “I've already explained all of this to you. Marrying Donald is the right thing to do.”

  “I know you believe that, Harley, but I can't stand the idea of you being married to a man that you don't love.”

  “You mean like I have been for the last thirteen years?” She asked dryly as she carried the overnight bag into the Jack and Jill bathroom to put her toiletries away.

  “Don't you even try to hand me that load of nonsense, young lady,” her mother warned. “You've been crazy about Matt since you were sixteen.”

  Stunned, Harley asked, “What could possibly make you believe something as insane as that?”

  “Oh, I know all about the relationship the two of you tried to keep a secret.” Claire informed her and saw her daughters look of shock. “Ted told me when Matt started coming around the diner but only during the shifts that you worked. Not to mention your sudden interest in making sure the car always had a full tank of gas so you could go down to Henry's and see him.”

  “You knew?” She asked wide eyed in disbelief.

  “Of course I did.”

  “Why didn't you say something?” Harley asked, incredulous that her mother had known about their secret and never said a word.

  Claire hadn't said anything because she had known better. Her own parents had forbidden her to date Thomas and that had only made her want to see the bad boy even more. She'd learned that particular mistake the hard way, so she'd kept a close eye on her daughter, just in case. Nothing had come of the relationship, so she'd assumed that she had made the right decision. At least she had until Harley had wound up pregnant. By then there was nothing left to say since the couple was getting married, albeit reluctantly.

  “Why didn't you?” She countered.

  “Matthew kept insisting that I was too young for him,” she admitted. “He called me jailbait.” Harley still hated that word.

  “So you pretended to be his brother’s girlfriend to make him jealous?”

  Harley leaned back against the vanity in utter astonishment. “How did you...”

  “Oh, please. Give me some credit, Harley.” Claire said dryly. “I fell in love with your father at seventeen. I knew what it was like to be in love and I know damn well that you and Mark were never anything but friends.”

  “You're right,” she admitted. “He was my best friend.”

  “So why the pretense?”

  “Because the very day that Matthew told me he wanted us to have a real relationship, I caught him with someone else.” She admitted and felt the old anger and frustration all over again. “I knew I couldn't trust him after that, but I was so crazy about him that I would have gone back to him anyway. I was just trying to protect myself from maki
ng the same mistake that you had and Mark... Mark offered to help me.”

  “By pretending to be your boyfriend,” she sighed. “Did you ever confront Matt about the other woman? It could have been perfectly innocent.”

  Harley laughed bitterly and without humor. “It wasn't,” she assured her. “And I was right not to trust him. He proved that after we got married.”

  “The separate bedrooms probably didn't help.” Claire pointed out.

  Harley had no intentions of having that discussion again. The old man had already harassed her enough about it. She went back into her bedroom and shoved the bag under the bed. “It's over and done with now, so none of this is relevant.”

  “On the contrary. You're still married to the man.”

  “Just until the divorce papers are signed.” She assured her and walked over to the wall to pull down the poster of Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner from the movie The Bodyguard. “Now, what color would you like to paint in here?”

  Claire sighed wearily. Her youngest had always been too stubborn and headstrong for her own good. She hoped Harley wasn't making another mistake by marrying Donald, but she knew that once her daughters mind was made up, nothing and no one could change it. Then she hid a smile as she realized that someone could. Matt was not only handsome, he was full of bad boy charm and she knew he could change her daughters mind. If he wanted to.

  ~~~~

  “Hey, little Jed,” Jedidiah greeted his namesake when the boy ran into the house that evening.

  “Hey, big Jed,” he grinned and hugged his grandfather.

  “You've grown almost a foot since Easter.”

  “Nah, just a half an inch.”

  “That much?” The older man laughed as his eldest son entered the house. “I put your stuff in your room. Go on up and put it away before dinner and then we'll have a nice long talk.”

  “Okay, grandpa,” the boy agreed as he raced up the stairs to his room.

  “I saw Harley today.” Jedidiah said as Matt dropped into the recliner.

  Every time the old man had talked to Harley over the last twelve years, he'd made sure Matt knew he'd been a damn fool for letting her get away. Refusing to get his father started on his favorite complaint yet again, Matt shoved back into a reclining position and picked up the paper from the end table without commenting.