by Kendall Ryan
“Hmm.” Mason reached out, rubbing my shoulders. “You look a little flushed from all that activity today. Do you want a nap?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t sleepy. “Maybe just something low-key.”
“I’m thinking we go cool off in the pool with a frozen drink. You in?”
My mouth lifted in a smile. “It’s like you can read my mind.”
He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my mouth. “You’re perfect.”
He’d told me that so many times, I was starting to believe him. Wrapping my hands around his neck, I pulled him in for another kiss. “Thank you for all of this.”
He met my gaze, and his eyes softened. “It’s not just me—you’re feeling this, right?”
“This?” I challenged, smirking at him. Wasn’t it the common joke that men couldn’t talk about their feelings? For Mason and me, that was reversed. He was so open and loving, and I was the guarded one.
He took my hand and pressed it over his heart. “Yes. This. Everything that’s developing between us.”
The steady thump of his heart under my palm sped up. I nodded. “It’s been fast, but yes, I’m very much feeling this.”
In that moment, I sensed that he wanted to say more, maybe even the L-word. His eyes already revealed what his lips held back. But the only thing that scared me was how badly I wanted to say it back to him.
With one last kiss pressed to my forehead, Mason rose to his feet. “Go get changed into your swimsuit and I’ll make a batch of piña coladas.”
“You’re perfect,” I murmured.
“Careful now, Bren. Don’t you go falling in love with me.” He shot a wide grin over his shoulder.
“Why, Dr. Bentley. Would that be a problem for you?” Part of me couldn’t believe the boldness of my words, but the other part of me? The one that wanted to be rash and brazen and emotional? She had already fallen for him. That day when he delivered prenatal vitamins to me. Even more so when he stuck by me even after finding out I wasn’t pregnant. Most guys would have cut and run, relieved at the idea of not being tied down with a kid. But not Mason.
His expression turned more serious, his eyes blazing on mine. “Not for me. Just be ready to give me forever.”
Then his tight ass was retreating toward the kitchen, and I lay there, my heart pounding.
We might not have been brave enough to say those three little words yet, but I knew in my heart what I felt—overwhelming love—like I never thought I’d experience.
The man was gifted in the bedroom, he cooked, and was even-tempered, sweet, romantic, and passionate about his work delivering babies. Plus he got my love for animals. Not only that, he accepted my crazy fear of commitment, giving me the space I needed to close the gap between us all on my own.
I was falling hard and fast, and I didn’t want to stop.
Heaving myself up off the bed moments later, I snatched my swimsuit from the open suitcase at the foot of the bed and headed for the bathroom.
When I got into the bathroom to change, my smile fell. Just perfect. I’d started my period. Of all the days for this to happen? On vacation…really, universe? I felt like giving my uterus the middle finger, but little good it would do me now. After changing, I grabbed my purse from the table and darted back inside the bathroom. I always kept an emergency stash of supplies in my purse, but that wouldn’t be enough to get me through. I’d need to find a store later.
As I took a moment to compose myself, the reality of the situation suddenly hit me. I was thirty years old, soon to be thirty-one, having irregular, spotty periods. My doctor had once mentioned that a women’s fertility past age thirty wasn’t something to trifle with.
I couldn’t help noticing that my hands shook as I washed them. Something I’d never given much thought to—the desire to have a baby, to give a baby to this perfect man who I was falling in love with—suddenly felt very important. Mason wanted kids one day. What if I couldn’t…? Would he still want me? I would never want to make him feel like he had to be with me if I couldn’t be a mother.
I had to make the best of our remaining days, and then I needed to get myself to the doctor and pray everything would be okay.
Forcing a deep breath into my lungs, I tied on my swimsuit and fastened my hair into a ponytail.
“Mace?” I called, stepping out into the hallway. “Change of plans.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mason
The convenience store was about the same size as a supply closet, though it offered even less selection than one. I walked inside and looked at the overpriced toiletries, then hastily grabbed what I needed and made my way to the counter in short order.
Behind the register, a young guy fiddled with his phone and he looked up as I approached.
“What’s up, bro?” he said with a smile.
“Just needed to grab something,” I told him, then set the box of tampons on the counter.
“Lady troubles, huh?” he asked, scanning the bright pink box.
I gritted a tight smile and the fool laughed.
“You must really love her if you’re coming out here to buy her these,” the kid joked. I just stared at him, waiting for him to hand me my bag. When he did, I forked over my cash, then headed back outside, suddenly all too aware of the guy’s voice still playing in my head.
“You must really love her.”
I, of course, was doing what any grown man should do in my situation, but the words still seemed to ring true. It wasn’t a pipe dream or bullshit based on my parents’ relationship. Not anymore.
I loved Bren.
I really did.
I loved the way she smiled and the way she laughed. I loved the way her face went blank when she was surprised. I even liked how she made me work to get beneath her hard outer-shell. The way she made a person feel like, if she was telling you something, it was because she’d decided you were one of the few people worthy of her trust. She was sensual and her body responded to my touch like no other. She was gorgeous, too. But then even that didn’t matter to me much.
Without the baby, without the rest of the world, still all I wanted was her.
I rushed to the villa, determined not to scare her away with my big announcement but just as determined to show her how I felt. When I got there, I found her lounging on the beach in nothing but her bikini. The smooth, flat plane of her white stomach practically shone in the sun, and I dropped off the bag on the patio before making my way toward her.
“Got your supplies,” I gestured toward the convenience store bag as I approached.
Bren chuckled. “I’m covered for now. But thank you.”
“You’re ridiculously beautiful, do you know that?” I asked, and she smiled up at me, her sunglasses covering the light in her eyes.
“What’s got you in such a good mood?” she asked, and I sank to my knees beside her.
“You.” I tucked a piece of her golden hair behind her ear. “Always you.”
Her smile softened and I leaned over to kiss her, hoping to show her all the feelings that had overwhelmed me on the way here. In every push and pull of our mouths, I wanted her to know that I needed her, that she was everything to me.
“I want you,” she murmured.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
She nodded.
“So have me.”
Her tongue swept out to coax mine, and I savored every stroke. Weaving my fingers in the silky strands of her hair, I moved to cup the back of her neck, losing myself in the feel of her lips as she kissed me.
Slowly I worked the buttons of my shirt until I shrugged it off and let it fall onto the sand. We were utterly alone in front of the villa—miles from any other people—and I intended to make the most of it. I palmed the weight of her gorgeous breasts in my hands, but before I had the chance to pull away her bikini, she shook her head.
“I haven’t forgotten last time. You wouldn’t let me. But now…” She rea
ched for my fly and unzipped it, then tugged my pants and boxers down in one motion.
“What do you mean?” I asked, and she guided me back down against the chaise lounge chair, kissing the hard muscles of my chest as she sank to her knees beside me.
“I want to taste you,” she said. “You wouldn’t let me the last time, but today I’m not taking no for an answer. It’s been about me from the start. For once, let’s make things about you.”
I held my breath, trying to find the words to argue. I didn’t care if she was on her period—at this point I wouldn’t have cared if she had two heads. Before I found the words, though, her ass was in the air behind her and she was hovering over my thick, straining shaft.
Taking my length in one hand, she worked me slowly, gently, until finally her mouth closed over me and I let out a little groan of satisfaction.
“Bren.” I tried to stop her, but then she bobbed deeper, taking as much of me in her mouth as she could while working the rest with her hand.
I let out a murmured curse as she gagged a little, and then I forced myself to thread my fingers through her hair again, willing myself to pull her away and focus instead on her pleasure. When I tried, though, she only released me with a little pop and shook her head.
“Not this time,” she said. “I want to make you come.”
“But—” I tried to argue, but she silenced me again by swirling the tip of her tongue around my swollen head, all the while staring deep into my eyes. Then, slowly licking her lips, she shook her head again.
“Don’t you want to give me what I want?” she pouted.
“I—” I broke off, growling as she bobbed against my length, sucking hard and deep until my eyes dropped closed and I leaned back into the chair, trying to force myself to think of something, anything other than how good it would feel to spurt my hot need inside her mouth…feel her throat close over me.
I imagined how hot it would be to see my seed dripping down onto her breasts while she took me deeper inside her warm, wet mouth.
As I moved my hips in encouraging thrusts, her tongue stroked the underside of my shaft, stopping every now and then to tease the sensitive tip. In that moment, I would have given anything for her to rip off that bikini and let me watch her breasts bounce as she worked me up and down.
“You have no idea how hot you are,” I groaned.
She smiled at me, though her hand never stopped its work. “Why don’t you tell me?”
“You’re the sexiest woman alive. Every time I lay eyes on you I want to tear your clothes off and have my way with you right then and there.”
“Oh, yeah?” she cooed, rolling her tongue over my sensitive tip as I jerked into her mouth.
“Yes,” I groaned. “Right now all I want is for you to take that top off and let me see your perfect breasts, baby.”
“Do you know what I want?” she asked, and I struggled to breathe as I stared at the way she was working me over
“What’s that?”
“I want you to come in my mouth and watch you lose control. How does that sound?”
I swallowed hard. “My girl gets what she wants.”
“Good.” She offered me a mischievous grin then sank to her knees again, taking as much of me in her mouth as she could and working me long and deep. This time there was no gentleness in her touch. No, she was all urgency and need and want, working me fast and hard and coaxing me toward the finish line.
Her tongue flicked over me, teasing me even as my balls drew up and I readied myself for her.
Staring into her eyes, I managed to grit out the words, “Going to come.”
And she smiled around me, her tongue twisting over my tip as I jerked and threaded my hands through her hair. Closing my eyes, I focused on her warm, wet lips and groaned as the wave of pleasure shot through my body, rolling over me like the ocean waves in front of us.
In that moment, I lost control, flexing and pulsing as hot come spurted from my cock into her waiting throat. She never slowed, working me through it, taking me deeper as I came. I couldn’t stop the deep guttural sound coming from my mouth that I didn’t even recognize as my own. My vision blurred as I tried to find my breath again.
When I’d finally stopped twitching, she pulled away and lay beside me as I fought to catch my breath.
I turned toward her, relishing the swollen redness of her lips.
“Let’s get married.” The words slipped from my mouth before I’d thought them through, but there was no doubting I meant them. I wanted to spend every day of the rest of my life waking up next to her face. I wanted to have that baby we’d been so afraid of at first. I wanted everything—with her. But I knew it was risky. She was already gun-shy. What if this was the thing that sent her packing?
“What?” She laughed, sweeping her hair to one side before lying back on my chest.
“You heard me. I want you, Bren. Marry me.”
This time, she sat up and met my eyes. “If that’s the way you react to a blow job, you must not have had very many in your life,” she joked, but her hand fluttered to her throat and her eyes gleamed.
A good sign?
“It wasn’t that, although, shit, that was so damned good. It was you. Bren, I love you,” I murmured. “Be my wife, baby.”
She blinked at me, her eyes wide. “You haven’t had time to think this through.”
“I don’t need time. I know that I love you. I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you. I know this is fast, but we’re perfect together.”
She searched my gaze for a long moment, then shook her head and said, “Look, um, I think we’re both a little high off the vacation fumes. I’m not saying no. I’ve never felt this way, to be honest. But I just want to make sure we’re not rushing things. Let’s put a pin in it, okay? Talk when we get home…”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek, looking her over as I nodded. Even now, I could feel her edging away from me, and the deep closeness I’d felt between us was crumbling like a wall made of sand.
Sure, marriage was fast and I knew she had her issues with intimacy, but I also knew how she felt about me—I could feel it in the way she kissed me, the way she touched me.
So why pull away?
“Bren,” I said, but she was getting up and dusting herself off.
“I’m going to hit the shower and take a nap, okay?” she said.
I nodded. “You sure, baby? You okay?”
She nodded. “I’ll see you in a little while.”
I watched her march into the little outdoor shower, all the while wondering to myself if I ought to call her back and set the record straight. But there was nothing to fix. I loved her, but she hadn’t said she loved me. And she hadn’t agreed to marry me.
A knot formed deep in the pit of my stomach, the kind you get when you’ve done something rash while overwhelmed with emotion. I grabbed my shorts from the sand, pulling them on quickly before wading out into the low tide.
I’d jumped the gun because it felt right. I’d wanted to. I’d rushed it when I’d known how skittish she was, and now it remained to be seen what would happen from here.
Waves crashed in the distance. I heard the spray of the shower, but I closed my eyes, focusing instead on whether or not I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Bren
I sat in the doctor’s office, swinging my legs back and forth as I listened to the ticking of the clock on the wall behind me. In truth, the clock—along with my healthy sense of panic—was the only thing keeping me awake. I was still jet-lagged from the plane ride home yesterday, and though I’d briefly considered canceling the appointment, I knew it had nothing to do with my exhaustion.
No, it had to do with fear. A dark shadow of terror had taken root deep within me, coloring every one of my thoughts, and ever since we’d touched back down in the city, it had grown in strength, threatening to choke me from the inside out. At
my age, the window for having children was already getting smaller. I knew that.
But to be having irregular periods at thirty?
It couldn’t be a good sign.
Right?
I glanced again at the steel door handle, willing it to turn and allow the doctor inside. The nurse had already taken my temperature and weight along with my blood pressure and the other tests they did whenever I went into the office. With some luck, she wouldn’t mention to anyone else who exactly the patient in exam room B was, but if she did…
Well, I’d worry about that later.
For now, I just had to put all my energy into willing that door open.
All this stress and worry could be for nothing, after all. I simply couldn’t know for sure until the doctor appeared.
Which, after a few more menacing ticks of the clock, she did.
After glancing down at the tablet in her hand, she grinned at me and clicked the door closed. Carefully she made her way to the rolling stool in front of the little granite countertop in the room and then spun around to face me.
Slapping her hands against her knees, she said, “Well, Miss Matthews, I’ve taken a look at your chart and I understand you’re having a few concerns about your fertility, is that right?”
I gave her a shaky nod. “It’s just that I got my period really late last month and then it only lasted a little while before disappearing again.”
She pursed her lips, looking like she was concentrating deeply on every word I said, then tilted her head to the side, letting her brown ponytail spill onto the counter behind her.
“Has this over happened before?”
I nodded. “Once or twice.”
“May I be frank with you, Miss Matthews?”
“Bren,” I corrected her. “And yes, absolutely.”
My stomach tightened and I linked my fingers together in my lap.
“You are right to be concerned about your fertility. At age thirty, sporadic or irregular periods tend not to be a good sign. But there’s no reason to be scared, okay?”
