Trusting You

by Heather D'Agostino

  “But Daddy,” I whined and turned to glance at Brook. He was stuffing banana in his mouth with both hands all the while babbling something that only he could understand.

  “Don’t but Daddy me,” he shook his head. “Go out there and talk to him, and take him something to eat. Who knows when his last meal was. You should hear him out. If you don’t like what you hear, then you can stay in here and I’ll send him away.”

  “Right. I know him,” I jammed my finger in the air. “Nothing you say to him is going to make him leave.”

  “You may know him, but you also know me. You ever seen your old man not get what he wants?” he smiled, and it put me right back at my childhood.

  “Fine,” I stood and moved toward the fridge to make him a sandwich.

  “Here,” Mom’s hand flew out in front of me with a plate in it. “I figured I’d save you the trouble while you were having your debate.” She smiled as I took the plate from her.

  “He needs a nap when he’s finished,” I motioned to where Brooklyn was rubbing his banana covered hands on his head.

  “And apparently a bath,” Dad chuckled.

  “Thanks,” I sighed as I made my way to the front door, sandwich in hand.

  When I stepped out onto the front porch, Aaron was looking at his phone. He didn’t notice me as I walked across the lawn and up to his Jeep. I knocked on the passenger window, causing him to jump. He dropped the phone and I heard a muffled curse as he fumbled to get the door open for me.

  “Hey,” I leaned in and handed him the plate. “Thought you might be hungry.”

  He lifted the sandwich to his mouth and sighed as he took a bite. “Thanks, I’m starving.”

  “Don’t thank me. Thank my mom,” I looked back at the house as I debated whether I really wanted to stay out here.

  “Can we talk?” he sighed as he practically inhaled his lunch.

  “There’s not much to talk about,” I snapped. “We had fun. It’s over now,” I crossed my arms over my chest.

  He motioned to the passenger seat and I rolled my eyes as I climbed in. “That’s all I was to you? A fun time?” he looked hurt as he stared at me in disbelief.

  “Sucks, doesn’t it,” I was being a bitch, but I didn’t care. “Now you know how all your girlfriends feel.”

  “You were never just a girlfriend to me,” he murmured. “You were different. We were different. I cared about you. Why can’t you see that?”

  “Right,” I rolled my eyes as I leaned back in the seat. “You cared so much.”

  “I spent the entire week with YOU,” he pointed at me. “I’ve made countless trips out here for YOU. Hell, I just spent a night in my car hoping to get five minutes of your time. I don’t know what else I can do to prove I’m in this,” he flung his arms out to the side.

  “It’s not just about me,” my voice raised to match his. “It’s about HIM,” I pointed to the house. “Everything I do is about HIM. You see, I don’t get what I want anymore. He does. He comes first in every decision I make. I forgot about that last weekend. I let my wants come first. I can’t do that. EVER!” I stressed. “You will never understand that.”

  Aaron

  “I do understand,” I ground out, matching her anger. She hadn’t even given me a chance. She’d decided all on her own that this wasn’t going to work. “I do understand,” I said again as I lowered my voice.

  We both sat there staring at each other before she slumped back against the seat. A single tear slipped down her cheek and she angrily wiped at it.

  I swallowed before I began to speak. “I used to be him,” I murmured. “Fuck!” I hissed. I hadn’t talked about my past much. Melinda knew a little, but not all of it. Very few people knew all of it. My dad had taken me to therapy for months when I was little to get over it, and now here I was seventeen years later dredging it all up again. “I told you Avery wasn’t my mom,” I began. My dad got my mom pregnant when they were barely out of high school. She left us right after I was born,” I glanced at Mel to see she was watching me intently. “He raised me with the help of my grandmother. He was older than you, but still… I was his whole world. He didn’t date. I never even met Avery until a year after they started seeing each other. My mom came back when I was four. My dad didn’t like it, but he tried really hard for me to have a relationship with her. I didn’t remember her, but she was my mom.” I swallowed as I remembered what it was like in that house. My mom, Sarah, was a weak, spineless individual. She dated losers, and she brought those losers around me. She didn’t stand up for me like my dad did. He never would have let someone touch me, but she did. She let her boyfriend hit me.” I closed my eyes as I the memories began to swamp me. I still remembered the last time he hit me. What it felt like, and how she just watched. I remember my dad and how he came and got me. How he and Avery took care of me, and loved me. They fought for me, and made sure that no one ever hurt me again.

  “I’m sorry,” she sniffed as she turned to look at me.

  “I get it. I know what you’re doing, but I would never hurt him,” I pointed at the house. “Don’t you see? He’s just like me only he has a mom looking out for him, and from what I can tell, she’s a good one.” She bit her lip as she stared at me. “I know you didn’t know all this shit that’s my life, but you still could have told me. When you care about someone, you tell them everything,” he smiled as he reached across the console and grabbed my hand.

  She nodded her head before whispering, “You wanna meet him?”

  “Sure, but not right now,” her face fell, but I squeezed her hand. “Right now, I kinda just wanna sit with you. Maybe we could all have dinner together tonight?”

  “That sounds nice,” she smiled softly before leaning her head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry I ran off like that. I was scared, and I didn’t know what to do with the feelings I was having.”

  “It’s ok. This is new to me too,” I smiled before I worked up the courage to tell her what I really wanted to say.

  “We can learn together,” she giggled and I pressed a kiss to her head. “But can we do it inside? It’ll be more comfortable.”

  “Sure,” I chuckled. “I owe your dad anyway.”

  Chapter 16

  Melinda

  Aaron and I sat in his Jeep talking for most of the afternoon. Time seemed to fly by, but it was easy to open up now that we didn’t have any secrets. We talked about everything, and nothing all at the same time. I stayed until I needed to go in to get ready for our date.

  “I’m going to go back to the dorms and beg Em to let me use her shower,” Aaron chuckled. “She owes me,” he cranked the engine. “I’ll be back in about an hour. Is that enough time for you?”

  “Sure,” I shrugged. “Brook is usually up from his afternoon nap by now, and all I’ll have to do is get him dressed.”

  “Hey Mel,” he called as I climbed out “relax,” he squeezed my hand before offering a wave.

  I nodded as I waved back, and jogged back up to the house. I had no idea what to expect with our date tonight. I’d never taken Brooklyn out with me before. I didn’t really date, but then again, I was always worried that as soon as whomever I was out with discovered I was a mom it would send them running.

  “You be careful tonight, ok?” Mom called as I checked my reflection one last time.

  “I will,” I called back.

  “And if Brooklyn gets to be too much, you make sure you bring him home,” her voice filtered through the air.

  “Yes, Mom,” I sighed.

  “I’m just trying to help,” her head popped around the corner of my door. Brooklyn was happily playing on the floor with a toy car, oblivious to the battle of wills he was witnessing.

  “I know, and I appreciate it, but I know how to take care of my son,” I smiled as I swiped my lip gloss one last time, and tucked it into my purse. I knew Mom was just trying to help, but I needed her to back off. We’d been arguing more lately, but today seemed to be a good day.

  “I j
ust know how he gets when he’s tired,” she muttered as she turned and walked away. I rolled my eyes when her back was facing me. I understood what she was doing, but he was my son. My parents have been a great help since he came into my life, but now that I finally felt like I was getting a hold of this mother thing, I wanted them to back off.

  Aaron

  When I left Emma’s dorm to go pick up Mel, I never felt so unsure of myself. What was I getting into here? Was I ready to be a dad? If things progressed the way I’d been hoping they would, I’d get a kid as part of the package. I never really thought about what my own father did for me until the last few hours. He gave up his partying days for me. He didn’t really date, and I don’t really remember anyone coming around when I was younger except for Avery. I needed to call him more and come around when he needed me.

  The drive back to Mel’s was a short one. I caught all the green lights, and when I parked in front of her house, I was in the driveway this time. I took several deep breaths before opening the door and making the walk to the front door. I hadn’t picked up a date at her parents’ house in years. Most of the girls I met lived on campus, or in an apartment near me. Mel had the typical American household.

  I knocked on the door, and waited. I could hear muffled voices from behind the door before it slowly opened. Mr. Brooks was standing there with a stern look on his face. “I only have one rule,” he stared me down as I rocked back on my heels. “Treat her right,” he glanced at Mel before holding his hand out for me to shake.

  “I will, Sir,” I nodded as I gripped his hand in a firm handshake. “You ready?” I peeked at her over his shoulder.

  She smiled as she reached out to her mother a few steps back. Mrs. Brooks handed over the little boy I’d seen this morning, and Mel thanked her. She stepped around her father before swinging a diaper bag onto her shoulder. “All set. We can get the car seat out of my mom’s car. I didn’t think you would have thought of that.”

  “Shit! No,” I cringed as I realized that I’d cursed in front of this little person who would probably repeat what I said.

  “Dat naughty,” he scowled as he wagged his chubby finger in my face.

  “Sorry,” I pressed my lips together.

  “Relax,” Mel soothed as she led the way out the door. Once we got outside she turned toward me. “I don’t expect you to be perfect with him. I know this,” she waved between us, “is a big deal.”

  “Un huh,” I breathed out. “The youngest kid in our family is eleven now. I don’t remember what it was like being around a baby,” I followed her over to her mom’s car and lifted the car seat out.

  “I not a baby,” Brooklyn scowled.

  Geez, I was oh for two with this kid. “I’m sorry little man,” I ruffled his hair as I began buckling the car seat in place. “You’re going to have to teach me.” He burrowed into Mel’s neck and wrapped his arms tighter around her.

  “Mama,” he mumbled as he refused to release his iron grip.

  “I’ll let you put him in,” I motioned to the seat before opening her door and stepping back to wait. Mel snapped a bunch of buckles together before kissing his forehead and standing back. She smiled as she climbed in the front, and I closed her door.

  Once I rounded the front to climb in, I drove us carefully to the steakhouse Emma had told me about.

  “You know,” Mel giggled as we were walking in, “you can drive the speed limit. He’ll be fine.”

  “Sorry,” I sighed. “I don’t want to do anything that might hurt him.”

  “You won’t,” she grinned up at me as I wrapped my arm around her.

  When we stepped through the door, the hostess greeted us. “Good evening. Table for three?”

  “Yes, thank you,” I placed my hand on Mel’s lower back as I followed the hostess to our table. “Here you go,” she grinned at Brooklyn before turning back to me. “You have a beautiful family.”

  “Thanks,” I smiled back. It didn’t scare me like I thought it would when she said it. Two days ago, if you asked me if I would want a kid right now I would have laughed in your face. I’ve been extremely careful over the years to not become a dad. Now, as I watch Mel place Brooklyn in a highchair at the end of the table, it almost feels natural.

  I placed the diaper bag on the chair beside Mel, before helping her sit, and then take my own seat.

  Dinner was uneventful and filled with normal conversation until right before we were ready to leave. Brooklyn had been great until Mel told him no. He’d wanted cake when he saw a table near us celebrating a birthday. Mel said he didn’t need sugar so close to his bedtime, and he didn’t take it well. He started throwing a fit as well as anything he could reach on the table.

  “You wanna get out of here?” I flagged down our server. “We could go for a walk or something.”

  “He really needs to go to bed. It’s late for him,” she grimaced.

  “Crap!” I slapped my hand over my mouth as Brooklyn’s eyes swung to me and he scowled. “Sorry, I didn’t realize it was so late.”

  “It’s ok. I’ve kept him up late before, but he usually gets cranky once it gets past his bedtime.”

  “No nap!” Brooklyn slapped his palms on the table, causing it to shake. When the water in my glass sloshed out, he giggled and slapped the table again.

  “Ok, that’s enough,” Mel warned him as I signed the credit card slip to pay the tab. We gathered his things, and made our way back out to the Jeep.

  “Will he sleep if I drive around a little?” I wasn’t really ready to take her home yet, but I needed to head back home. I had classes tomorrow, but leaving was the last thing on my mind.

  “He might,” she shrugged. “I don’t really take him on dates with me.”

  “What did he do the last time?” I was probing, but I didn’t care. I wanted to know how many men knew about him, and how many she’d let get this close.

  “I’ve never let anybody meet him,” she whispered. “You’re the first.”

  I swallowed before reaching across the console and wrapping her hand in mine. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t make me regret it,” she squeezed my hand in return before settling back into her seat. We drove around a little, but I didn’t know the area well, so I stuck to the main roads. When Brooklyn finally fell asleep, Mel seemed to relax. “There’s a turn off up here. Take that road,” she pointed to a small sign that was almost hidden by brush.

  “Ok,” I turned down the road. It was a small and unmarked, and the Jeep bounced as we made our way between heavily grown trees. After a while we came to a small clearing. There was a pond surrounded by tall grass. The moon was shining off the water, and it was so calm it looked like glass. Fireflies were twinkling all around. The scene brought me back to my childhood. “Did you bring me here to make out?” I teased.

  It was dark, but I could still see her blush. “No,” she quickly shook her head. “I just thought we could sit a while, and it’s quiet, and we’d have privacy, and…” she trailed off. She was rambling, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

  “It’s ok to be nervous,” I smiled and placed my hand on her thigh. She jumped slightly as if I’d burned her so I moved it.

  “I’m not,” she stammered. “This is just new to me, and I just…” she growled in frustration at herself.

  “Mel,” I gripped her chin and coaxed her to look at me “it’s ok. I get it. It’s new. It’s new for me too. I don’t want to do something to mess him up,” I tipped my head toward the backseat.

  “You won’t,” she murmured as her eyes darted all over my face, finally coming to rest on my mouth.

  I leaned in so close our lips were almost touching. “You did bring me here to make out, you just don’t know it yet,” I brushed my lips over hers. She sighed as her lips parted and I slowly slipped my tongue in. It was a slow sweet seduction as the fire between us warmed. She leaned closer as one hand landed on my shoulder and the other cupped my cheek. I slanted my head and took the kiss deep as she leane
d in even more, almost climbing onto my lap. I had no doubt this would have gone somewhere if we didn’t have the munchkin in the backseat.

  “You’re really good at this,” she whispered as she pulled back.

  “At what?” I smirked. Mel was always shy around me when it came to telling me what she wanted. I knew exactly what she was getting at, but I wanted her to tell me.

  “Kissing,” she giggled.

  “I try,” I shrugged as I pecked her lips.

  “But your ego needs a little work,” she smacked my chest.

  “Wha?” I leaned back in my seat.

  “I might not be able to breathe with all the space your head is taking up,” she laughed but slammed her hand over her mouth and glanced back at Brooklyn. “I almost forgot he was there. I suck at being a mom at times,” she berated herself.

  “You’re a great mom,” I reassured.

  “How do you know?” she sighed.

  “I’ve seen how you look at him. You love him. If you weren’t a great mom, you wouldn’t have worked so hard to protect him from me,” I shrugged. “My dad did the same thing. I turned out ok,” I chuckled.

  “I don’t know if I’d call it ok,” she teased.

  “Really?” I shifted to face her.

  “I’d say he did pretty good. I mean, you’re still here. Most guys would have run,” she flipped her hand in the air as she nibbled her lip.

  “I’m not most guys,” I stared at her as we sat there. It was odd, really. I mean, why wasn’t I running? If she would have told me last summer when we met that she had a son, I would have bolted so fast and never looked back. She was different though, and maybe it was because I saw a little of me in Brooklyn. She wasn’t what my mom was. She was trying. She was going to school. She wanted to do well for him, and she was sacrificing her happiness to do so. She was lucky her parents helped as much as they did. I’m sure if it was me, my dad would do the same but he’d always told me he wanted more for me. “How do your parents feel about this?” I waved my finger between us.