Her Lord and Protector (formerly titled On Silent Wings)

by Pam Roller

  “In any case, we will return another way. We’ll have to climb over some rocks, but there are no small spaces.” He walked with her, apparently finished with his reprimand, and gestured with a broad sweep of his hand. “This is the main hall of the keep. Since you are a curious sort, I will take you through what I can, but some of the sections have become treacherous. Especially when Cromwell’s men destroyed part of it when I was a boy.”

  Katherine looked up at him and caught the pain in his expression, but just as quickly the aloofness returned. Perhaps if circumstances were different, she might ask him to tell her about his childhood, his life. It wasn’t necessary to know, however, and she chided herself for possessing even a remote interest.

  She perused the two huge hearths on opposite stone walls, then craned her head back and peered up at the narrow windows high above. Part of the roof was gone and the afternoon sun shone down on them. The vast room was empty of furniture, but she imagined a time centuries ago when tables and chairs and rugs would have filled it. The crackling fires in the hearths would have both warmed the fortress and sustained the bellies of the occupants who cooked food over its roaring flames.

  “This was the family bedchamber,” Lord Drayton said, leading her over the uneven floor to an arched doorway tucked under narrow stone steps. Through the entrance lay an identical empty room, only much smaller. “Everyone slept here. I imagine some of my ancestors were conceived and born in this room until my great-great grandfather built the castle in front of it.”

  He seemed far more relaxed, the transformation remarkable, as they traversed the main room to the steps built against one wall. He looked over at Millie hugging the door that led back through the passages. “You do not wish to accompany us to the battlement?”

  She shook her head and brought her hands up over her chest. “If ye please, m’lord, I’ll stay here. I’m not partial to climbin’ up t’high places.”

  Lord Drayton dismissed the maid with a wave, his attention on Katherine. “Careful here,” he said as he began to climb the steps. “Take my arm, please. I will carry your slate for you.”

  She did so with flutters of apprehension. They would be alone upstairs.

  While part of her marveled once again at the muscular arm beneath her fingers, she cautioned herself against the seething temper that might simmer beneath Lord Drayton’s concern for her safety.

  They reached the top of the steps and walked through a short passage. This led to another set of stairs winding up through a circular tower that could hold fifty men. He gazed down at her with a pleasing upward curve of his mouth and an appreciative glint in his eyes, and Katherine couldn’t help thinking that he was unspeakably handsome when he looked at her like this.

  “Would you like to proceed to the battlements?” he asked. “They afford a fine view of my lands.”

  Was his pleasant voice and smile intended to put her off guard? Her traitorous body denied that he might harm her while her mind rationalized that very the possibility.

  “Are you also afraid of heights? We can return downstairs and go back to the house if you’d like.”

  He had misread her hesitation. She forced herself to smile and shake her head. With her free hand, she motioned him on.

  A foolish act, perhaps. She’d always been much too curious, but it was imperative—she knew not why—that she know whether she could trust him.

  The steps were steep and numerous, and as they ascended, Lord Drayton released her hand from his arm and took her elbow. He stayed by her side and matched his pace with hers, saying nothing. But it was a comfortable silence, and when she glanced up at him, he still maintained his agreeable expression.

  At the top, she stood for a moment catching her breath while looking out on a sun-washed open walkway that circled the inside perimeter of a wide circular tower. Rectangular openings in the outer wall afforded views of the green fields.

  “Stay close to me,” he said, pointing to where most of the stone balustrade on the inner side of the walkway was missing. “’Tis a long fall to the bottom of the tower.”

  They stayed near the wall as they walked. Partway around, Lord Drayton paused to look out through one of the openings and swept his hand at the vast countryside. “Here the men guarding the keep could see for miles.”

  Katherine stood beside him and absorbed the hills dotted with white sheep and small cottages. She pointed to the vast forest beyond, then to him, and raised her brows in question.

  “Yes, the forest is mine,” he said, as if perfectly understanding her inquiry. “There’s a shortcut to Chiswick through it, but a highwayman is said to be lurking there. My men and I have yet to flush him out.” He took a breath and said, “I once considered living in Chiswick, but I prefer to remain out here in my ancestral home.”

  She held out her hand for her slate, and when he gave it to her she wrote, Alone?

  The wind lifted his loose golden hair. “Yes. Alone. The way I prefer to live. No interruptions, arguing, finding fault...nothing at all. Just quiet. Peace and solitude. And when Elizabeth is married to that turtle, Edward—if he ever moves along in his courting—I will have what I desire.”

  As he spoke, his expression darkened with some unvoiced suffering, and one hand gripped the stone sill of the fortress. Once again, he seemed to withdraw inside himself.

  Katherine watched his head lower, and her heart sank with him. Why would he want to be alone? What devils crawled within and pained him so?

  After a moment he raised his head and stared at the blue sky, his gaze seeming to follow the smooth flight of a solitary bird. “That hawk is like you, Katherine. It drifts through the air on silent wings, yet it is strong and spirited.”

  She didn’t consider herself strong and spirited. Yet, despite her suspicions of him, he made her feel that way.

  He turned to her and took her hand, tracing with his thumb the scar running across her palm. “We’ve both endured almost more than we can take. Yet you are undaunted. My hands are not scarred, yet they could do nothing to save the ones I loved.”

  Lord Drayton’s gentle words and unexpected tenderness shattered whatever mistrust she’d had of him. As if in a dream, she watched his hands close over hers, and then looked into his eyes.

  Haunted sorrow filled them. Katherine took in his grief, his want, and with crystal clarity she understood. His shattered heart, masked by cold indifference, longed for salvation.

  Lord Drayton didn’t want to be alone. And he’d never hurt anyone. He wanted, needed to be loved.

  With trembling legs, Katherine felt herself succumbing to the alarming charm of this unpredictable man. The same man who’d arranged for her to marry another. What was she doing?

  He didn’t want her. She’d been a fool to come up here. He had no intention of wedding her himself, only wished to torment her with the rough silk of his voice and a glimpse of vulnerability within his tower of male strength.

  And soon he would give her over to a stranger.

  With a silent sob, she pulled her hand from his and backed away from him.

  “Katherine?” The question in his eyes quickly changed to wariness. His mouth drew into a tight line, his hands twin blocks of clenched intensity. “I know not your sudden change in mood, but if you wish to leave by this ledge, you will have quite a descent.” Deadly calm gave his words a cold fatality. He advanced toward her.

  She must escape his compelling enticement, flee to her room, and await her fate. She turned. The heel of her shoe caught a piece of crumbled balustrade. She fought to keep her balance but toppled to the left—toward the edge of the walkway. Frantically she flailed her arms as she felt herself careening over the edge.

  In the last second before she fell to her death, her eyes locked onto Lord Drayton’s. In their blue depths was panic.

  And anguish.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “No!” Lord Drayton roared, and lunged for Katherine. His arms clamped around her body and it seemed he, too, would fall.
But he wrenched himself to the right. Clutching her to him, fell onto his back on the rough gray stone of the walkway with her on top of him.

  With a ragged breath, he held her. His gentle fingers slipped through her hair and stroked her head until she had quieted.

  “Katherine.” His hand, warm and tender, moved in a caress. “I almost lost you.” His voice sounded broken, as if reaching to her from the depths of murky water.

  She forgot all her doubts and despair in the hard warmth of his body against hers. She felt his heart pounding as he pressed her against him. Willing his sensuous mouth to hers, she slid her hands over his chest.

  His lips met hers, passionate yet with a warm, gentle strength, and for the first time in her life, a lush heaviness deep within burst forth and blazed with white hot intensity.

  He rolled her onto her back once more and kept her wrapped in his arms to cradle her from the stone beneath her. She reveled in the sensation of his hard body lying over hers, his silky hair, his mouth on hers.

  When the tip of his tongue teased her lips, a primitive, heated desire shot straight to her core. She opened her mouth to gasp, and his tongue thrust in.

  And suddenly there was nothing else in the world but Alex.

  To simply surrender, to yield to whatever he wanted to do with her, overrode all else. She clutched him to her.

  He was so close. But she wanted more.

  His kiss held a deep, profound need. She met his passion, and intuitively knew that this sort of comfort was just what Alexander Fletcher needed to sweeten his bitter soul.

  Wanting him, all of him, she met his tongue with her own and heard his deep growl of pleasure.

  Soft breezes hummed through the openings along the battlement wall and tempered the warmth of the bright sun shining on her face. Katherine slid her hands over the delicious, sunbathed heat of his shoulders and back. At last she could touch him. At last. All time ended, all pretense vanished.

  His thigh moved over her leg and brushed the very center of her and she silently begged for more, more.

  Alex.

  He broke the kiss, murmured as he nuzzled her neck, roved down over the tops of her breasts, then returned to her lips and plundered her mouth once again.

  Her entire body sang. She turned her hips and wrapped one leg around his, pulling him against her in desperate need. He groaned, and she knew that he was hard and ready.

  His hand slid to her shoulder and began to pull down her dress, his trailing lips leaving exquisite hot tingles along her chest. Arching her neck, Katherine could only respond with fast, hard breaths. Her body went liquid in his arms when he slid his hand into her bodice and cupped her breast.

  But warning bells rang deep within, distantly at first and then louder, telling her to stop this. Ignoring them, she kissed his neck and the small white scar on his jaw, and gave a silent whimper when he played his fingers over her nipple. She gave in to his mouth when it demanded hers, and clutched at his shoulders. Oh, God, how she wanted him.

  The warning grew as reality snaked through her being. Slowly the luscious sensations subsided as Katherine grew cold with the knowledge that she was giving herself to this man like a wanton whore.

  She stiffened and shoved at him, and with clear surprise he moved off her. Quickly she scooted back and then got to her feet, pulling her bodice back into place with short, shaky jerks.

  He remained on his side, propped on one elbow for a moment, his gaze roaming over her face. A battle of expressions—perplexity, frustration, and finally the familiar coldness—crossed his features.

  They stared at each other. Strands of loosened hair blew into her face and she brushed them aside. His eyes left hers and followed the impatient movements of her hands.

  She detested the betrayal of her body, hated that she reacted so strongly to him. But even with the knowledge that he would soon give her to another, the urge to lower herself to him and let him resume his lovemaking made her tremble.

  Finally Alex stood, but did not approach. His throat moved as he swallowed. Several times he seemed about to speak, and then finally declared, “I was only being flippant with my suggestion to leave by the ledge. You seemed fool enough to try.”

  She was more of a fool for allowing him to seduce her. She looked around for her slate to write a terse message concerning her intention to never again let him near her.

  “Gone,” he said, shrugging. “Fallen over the ledge, as you almost did.”

  Realization dawned on her, and with it confusion. He had held and kissed her like a lover. She needed to know, right now, his feelings.

  Carefully, she edged to a spot on the ledge that still held a bit of stone balustrade, and peered down. Somewhere far below her slate lay, most likely in pieces among the crumbled gray stones.

  She felt him at her shoulder, and the urge to lean back into his arms was disconcerting. She hastened back toward the winding stone staircase, feeling the wind lift her loosened hair and toss it about her shoulders.

  “Since you do not find my presence pleasing, I will be sure to remain distant from you whenever I can,” he said from behind her. “I would not want you to suffer more than necessary until you leave here.”

  She stopped and wheeled toward him, greatly wishing she could give him the quarrel of his life, to tell him exactly what she thought of him, how she wanted him—no, didn’t want him—and demand an explanation of the past.

  Unexpectedly, he was very near. His white cravat had come loosened, and blonde curls peeked from the open neck of his shirt. If she leaned forward and stood on her toes, her lips would meet the beckoning hollow of his throat.

  Then, she looked up into his eyes and saw the desperate need beneath the mockery. Flustered, she dropped her gaze to the stone floor.

  Alex—Lord Drayton—placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face so that she would look into his eyes. His touch lit another warm flush inside her, and as his eyes dropped to her lips and lingered there, she thought for a dazed second that he would kiss her again.

  To her mortification, she knew she would welcome him.

  But he took a deep, ragged breath, and seemed once again to battle for his words. “Listen to me,” he finally said in a voice gruff with emotion. “If your suitor refuses you, nothing will happen between us. You will make no requests of me or think of me as anything but your guardian. You may eat at my table and sleep in my house. Beyond that, my deepest wish is to find you a husband and get you out of my life.”

  Oh, such vile words, and from lips that had kissed her so fervently only moments ago.

  Katherine jerked away before he could see her tears.

  ****

  Alex took Katherine back to the main house by a different route to avoid the narrow labyrinth they’d traveled before. With Millie following—she evidently knew something had happened between them because she looked from him to Katherine with curious, cautious eyes—they picked their way through treacherous stones to reach the massive jagged opening where once a mighty door had stood. Four times Katherine almost stumbled. Although touching her would dissolve his determination like rain on salt, Alex held her close to keep her steady.

  He gritted his teeth at the delicate firmness of her body, her lavender scent, the remembered sweetness of her mouth. As he helped her over a piece of the fallen archway, he glanced at her beautiful face and knew he wanted her.

  Dear God, he wanted her.

  No, damnation. Mute baggage she was, nothing more. Keeping her would only fuel reminders of Cromwell’s spies, like her traitorous father, who’d destroyed his life. Caring for her only generated emotion that he wanted left dead. He must crush the hope and happiness that bloomed within him—useless feelings that would only lead to more sorrow.

  The sooner Thomas Bliss carted her off, the better.

  “’Tis just a walk down this path now,” he said gruffly as he led her past tangled vines and tall weeds.

  She didn’t acknowledge his words. He waited for a gesture
of her hands, the charming tilt of her head or the raising of her brow, something—anything—that would give him an idea what she was thinking. But her body and expression revealed nothing, save for the set line of her mouth. She stared straight ahead when they reached the weed-choked pebbled path, and quickened her stride.

  He almost wished she’d just clout him.

  As they reached the front of the house, a carriage rolled up the drive and stopped. “Agnes,” he muttered in irritation. “Has she no other friends?”

  Katherine slanted a glance toward him.

  “Good day, Agnes,” Alex said with an obligatory smile. “I believe Elizabeth should have returned from the market by now.” He glanced over at his stable, and yes, his carriage sat empty in front of it.

  “Good day to you, Lord Drayton,” Agnes said. “And how are you, Lady Katherine? My, you are out of breath. And your cheeks are bright with color.”

  Katherine nodded awkwardly and then stared at the door as if willing it to open by itself.

  “I have just shown Lady Katherine the keep,” Alex explained. “We went up to one of the battlements.”

  “Ah. Do you remember when you took me up there?” Agnes asked. “I so enjoyed myself.” She smiled and cocked her head, which made her springy curls bounce.

  Katherine turned to him. Her eyes, had they been daggers, would have cut him to bloody bits. He knew what she was thinking—that he’d taken Agnes up there and shared such a kiss of passion with her as to forget that everything existed but the taste and feel of her—but said simply, “Indeed, I have taken many guests up there.”

  Katherine misconstrued his meaning. Her eyes widened, then narrowed in fury. She turned once more to the door and gestured sharply for Millie to open it.

  Agnes’ gaze swung from Alex to Katherine with a suspicious glint, but she said nothing.

  “I will show you to the parlor and inform Elizabeth that you are here to visit,” he said to Agnes as they entered. “Perhaps you can meet Lady Katherine’s suitor before you return home.”