Broken

by Willow Rose

  I turned my head. It was a police car. I stopped and the officer pulled the car to the breakdown lane. Then he got out. "I guess there’s no need to search you," he said. "Reckon we're not hiding a weapon anywhere, are we?"

  "No sir."

  "Got a report that someone had seen a guy exposing himself on I-Ninety-five in the middle of morning rush hour, so I thought I'd better go check it out for myself. Gotta say you're the first I’ve seen without a jacket or even something to put on in case we should stop by."

  The officer looked at me more closely. "Say. What happened to you?" he asked and started examining my entire body. I realized I was bleeding from my leg and several other wounds on my back and front. The officer looked around the area.

  "How did you even get out here? Where is your car?"

  "I didn't drive here," I said.

  Realizing that I might not be a sexual offender after all, the officer hurried to the trunk of his car, pulled out a blanket and put it around me. "What happened to you? Did someone beat you up? Have you been mugged? Say don't I know your face from somewhere?" The officer snapped his fingers. "You're that doctor from the billboards on ..."

  "Kings Street Yes, that is me."

  "I am so sorry, Doctor, that I didn't recognize you right away. Have you been the victim of a crime here? Do you want me to take you to the station?"

  I shook my head heavily. "Just be so kind and take me home please."

  "Right away, sir. Right away."

  Chapter 20

  While the police officer now had a fun story to tell his kids at the dinner table that same night I had a hard time seeing anything humorous about my situation right now. I got home and managed to sneak in and take a shower in the guest bathroom without anyone noticing me. I wasn't crying because of my wounds. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out, like every part of me was screaming, longing for her, demanding to know that she was all right, that she wasn't hurt. I had absolutely no idea what had happened to Aiyana, I didn't even know her phone number or where she lived. I had no way of finding out if she made it home to Luyu in time for the change to happen. I pounded the tiles in the shower and screamed at the top of my lungs. I tried to figure out a way to find her. Should I have people searching for her in the swamps? Should I go back to look for her? Would it matter? If she was wounded and helpless then it would.

  William was up when I got out of the shower. He was in the kitchen eating his breakfast with Sarah. I decided I was going to go back to the swamps to search for her. Maybe if I focused on hearing her voice I could hear her thoughts, maybe I could sense my way to her. We had a special connection and these powers I had received when Aiyana bit me had to be used for something. They had to be able to help me.

  "Oh my gosh, what happened to you?" Sarah asked when she saw me. "You look like you've been in a bar fight or something."

  Of course that was where she figured I spent the nights. In bars drowning my sorrows in alcohol. That would be the more normal reaction I guessed. So I let her believe it to avoid too many questions.

  "Don't want to talk about it," I said because I didn't want to lie to her.

  She took a piece of paper-towel and wiped off some blood from a wound on my cheek that had sprung leak. "It almost looks like someone bit you," she said with astonishment in her voice. "Some kind of animal?"

  I pushed her arm away. "It's nothing," I said. William had stopped eating and was staring at me with his blue eyes wide and big. I forced a smile. "It is nothing, really, William. Don't worry about it, alright?"

  He nodded slowly as if he wasn't quite sure what to believe.

  "Eat your cereal, you need to get ready for school," I said and grabbed a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice that Sarah had made with oranges from our tree in the yard. It tasted sweet like heaven. Divine.

  "But I’m not going to school today, remember?"

  I stopped drinking and put the glass down on the counter. "What do you mean you're not going to school today?" I looked at Sarah.

  She shrugged. "Says you promised him something," she said.

  I looked back at William who stared at me with his wide blue eyes almost bursting into tears. "You promised me I could come with you to work and be with Luyu when she has her operation today, remember?"

  The room started spinning. Luyu! The operation! That was today? I had told William the date long ago. Of course he remembered. How could I have forgotten? How could that have slipped my mind? As I tried to get my thoughts straight and figure out what on Earth to tell William, the phone rang. Sarah answered it.

  "It's your office," she said. "They say your first patient is in and that you've told them to let you know when she arrived. She is there now."

  I stared at Sarah. "Who? Who is there?" I asked.

  She held out the phone to me. "Maybe you should ask them yourself."

  I took it and almost yelled into it: "Who is there? Tell me who the patient is!"

  "Her name is Luyu. She is here with her mother. You told us to let you know right away when she arrived. They are both sitting in your private waiting room."

  The weight of the world suddenly was lifted from my shoulders. I sank into a chair next to me and started sobbing with joy. Sarah and William stared at me.

  "Hello? Is something wrong, Dr. Langaa? Was it wrong of me to call? I thought you told us to get a hold of you no matter what you were doing, no matter where you were, so I thought ..."

  "No, no, Mrs.?”

  "Miss Ruby."

  "Miss Ruby. You did the right thing. You have no idea how right this was. I am so happy to hear that they have arrived. You have no idea how happy I am ... I am just really relieved right now."

  "Okay then. Should I let the nurses begin the preparation of the patient?"

  "No. No. This is a very special patient of mine. She is a child and requires general anesthesia. I want to follow her all the way. Don't let anyone do anything till I’m there."

  "I guess I'll just tell them that the doctor is on his way then?"

  "Yes, please tell them that." I caught William's eyes and winked. His face lit up. "Tell them we are on our way."

  "Very well, then. Goodbye Doctor."

  Aiyana was in a much better shape than I. When I rushed into the waiting room with William on my arm she got up from the chair. She had no bruises on her face or arms like I had. She stood staring at me while I froze as well just by the mere sight of her. It was the most wondrous sight in the world. The most beautiful view right there in front of me. I wanted to run to her and grab her in my arms and tell her how much I had dreaded never seeing her again, how scared I had been in that swamps at night all alone not knowing where she was or what had happened to her, not knowing if I'd ever see her again. She exhaled deeply and stood frozen solid in front of me. I sensed she was as shocked as I, that she had been just as scared. Our eyes locked for a long time. I put William down and he ran towards Luyu who embraced him with her open arms. They hugged closely and William lifted Luyu into the air causing them both to tumble onto the floor where they rolled laughing while holding on to each other like they never wanted to let go again.

  Aiyana was breathing through her mouth when she started laughing.

  "What?" I said.

  "Nothing." She continued to laugh but her eyes were tearing up.

  I walked a few steps closer to her. "Are you alright?" I asked.

  She wiped a tear from her eye with a finger. "It's just this crazy life," she said. "I thought. I thought you ..." She stopped.

  "So did I," I laughed. "I thought something really bad had happened to you." I grabbed her hand and guided her back to the chair. "Are you alright?" I asked again while caressing her long brown hair. The subtle smell of jasmine filled my nostrils. She nodded. "Just a lot going on lately. But I'll be fine. As soon as Luyu is through this operation and is all right."

  We turned and looked at our children. They were playing with some stuffed animals that Luyu had brought in her backpack while
they were still holding each other's hands. I chuckled.

  "Look at them," I said. "It's like they’ve known each other their entire lives."

  Aiyana looked at me. I sensed it and turned my head. Her light brown eyes shone bright in the dark room. My heart was beating faster. "Like you and I they share a destiny," she said.

  I sighed and held her hand tight. "Some destiny, huh?"

  Aiyana smiled. What astonishing things her smile could do to me. "I like our destiny," she whispered.

  "I do too," I said and meant it. Even though it was dangerous meeting like that at night I had to admit I loved it. I loved who we were, I loved what we were, and I loved what being a jaguar made me capable of. I wouldn't trade it for the world. But I didn't like being scared like I had been this night. I never wanted to feel like that again.

  She put her hand on my shoulder. I looked into her eyes. Then I grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her close before I pressed my lips against hers. At first she stiffened, and then she relaxed and kissed me back, before she finally pulled me away with a gasp. Her fingertips touched my face gently, and then she pulled her body backward and stared at me with strict eyes.

  "Christian," she said her voice shaking. "We can't do that."

  I looked at the children. They were playing and hadn't noticed anything. I leaned forward reaching out for her and then stopped. "Aiyana. I am so sorry. I shouldn't have ..."

  She shook her head. "No, Christian. I understand. I have led you to believe ..." she sighed and looked at Luyu. "We are both married and have children. It's just not right."

  "I know. I’m sorry. Forgive me. I was being selfish." I turned my head and looked at the children playing on the carpet. "Today is about Luyu."

  Aiyana smiled and looked at her daughter. I glanced at William and enjoyed the pure delight in his eyes and laughter.

  Nothing could make him happier than this moment.

  Chapter 21

  It was with slightly shaking hands that I picked up my instruments to begin operating on Luyu's eyes. I had held her hand while a pediatric anesthesiologist gave her the anesthetic and now she was sound asleep and unable to feel anything. She was lying on the operating table with a breathing tube in her mouth while Aiyana held her hand. I had told William to stay outside with one of the nurses while I operated. A nurse assisted me and another was keeping an eye on Luyu's heartbeat and breathing.

  "When you have cataract it’s like when you have a spot of dirt on your camera lens," I explained to Aiyana.

  She looked at me with worried eyes while holding her daughter's hand tightly. My explanation seemed to calm her down slightly so I decided to talk my way through the surgery and let her know exactly what I was doing.

  "The lens of the eye is actually very similar to the lens of a camera," I continued. "It helps you focus on objects both near and far away. To work well the lens must be clear. So basically what I am going to do now is to remove the cloudy lens from both eyes and replace it with a plastic lens called an intraocular. Okay?"

  Aiyana nodded and I began the procedure. I made a small incision on the surface of the right eye near the clear part of the eye called the cornea. Then I inserted a small instrument into the incision and removed the cloudy lens. All the while I spoke to Aiyana and told her what I was doing.

  "Now I am going to insert the new lens," I said.

  Aiyana looked at me closely as I carefully inserted the intraocular lens. She seemed calm yet worried. Then I moved on to the left eye and started the procedure all over. While I worked I managed for once to keep every other voice out of my head and focus only on hers and I managed to hear words, even sentences and feelings coming from her mind. It wasn't hard to decipher. I was in her mind. I was happy to learn that she felt safe in my hands. I sensed how much she loved her daughter and was moved by how she was willing to sacrifice anything for her. It was probably going to cost her something if her husband Michael found out she had gone behind his back. There was a fear for him in her mind that I had a hard time escaping. I felt it along with her and it saddened me that she had to live like that. I saw pictures of him and her that caused me to shiver. Images of him yelling and throwing her books around and ripping some of them to pieces while telling her that he never wanted to catch her reading that crap again, that it was messing with her mind and gave her ideas a married woman shouldn't have. He yelled that he never wanted to see her reading or writing again. Or else he wouldn't answer for the consequences. She was supposed to have eyes for only him. Then he grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "Why can't you just love me? Why?" he cried.

  Then I saw Aiyana picking up the mess after he had left the house in anger. She was cleaning the ripped pages from the floor and taping them back together - the ones she could - and hiding them in a closet because the one thing she did love in this world was to read and write. It was her passion and he wasn't going to keep her away from that no matter how jealous he was. She was just going to do it while he wasn't there. I caught myself chuckling lightly. Aiyana had her ways and she wasn't going to let anyone tell her what to do and what not to do. I knew that much. But then other images appeared that deeply troubled me. Images of her husband sitting in a chair on the porch drinking while she watched him from the house. In his hand was one of the taped-together books that he had found going through her stuff in an act of anger and jealousy expecting to find something that could prove to him that she had been cheating. Michael tapped it on his knees while emptying the glass. Then he got up and walked towards Aiyana. She stepped backwards with a gasp as he opened the screen door. His eyes stared at her maliciously while he held the book up in front of her face asking her "what this was supposed to mean?" My heart skipped a beat as I saw him slap her across the face with the book. I turned and looked at her and detected a tear in the corner of her eye. Luyu was still breathing calmly.

  While I was listening in on Aiyana's mind I sensed that she was doing the same thing to me too. Somehow in a strange way we had an encounter, a meeting inside of each other's minds. It was wonderful. Beautiful really. Like we were one and the same person. All that we couldn't say out loud because there were others in the room or because it was too difficult to express was suddenly shared in this extraordinary way. She soon knew about my troubles with Heather, her drinking and her illness and I understood that her marriage was in trouble as well. She was afraid of her husband's anger. Suddenly I could feel every emotion, every feeling she had and I got to know her in a completely new and meaningful way.

  The half an hour we spent together in that room talking and listening in on each other's thoughts while I operated was really precious to me. I enjoyed being able to do something to help her and her daughter. I had studied for so many years and for once I was able to use it to do something really valuable. For the first time I didn't feel like it had been a waste of my life to become an eye-surgeon.

  "Now these new artificial lenses come in different strengths, just like glasses and we will have to do several measurements to decide which lens strength is right for Luyu," I said when I had closed the incision with a stitch. One of the nurses removed my instruments to have them cleaned and sterilized. Another took off my surgical gloves and threw them out.

  "I will have to see her again tomorrow for a follow up."

  "Of course," Aiyana said. She looked so incredibly beautiful right at that moment sitting next to her sleeping daughter while a ray of sun hit her face from the window and caused her eyes to glow. She was so fragile, so vulnerable, yet sturdy and resilient. She was determined for her daughter's sake. She wasn't going to let fear stop her. She was radiant. I think I loved her more at that moment than I ever had before.

  "Now we will bring Luyu to the recovery room and wait together for her to wake up." I signaled the nurse to start moving Luyu. "Once she is awake we will put a patch over her eyes to protect them, and we will provide a set of dark sunglasses that she must wear until I see her tomorrow," I said as we walked down a hallway on the wa
y to the recovery room. "The patch can be removed when she goes to bed tonight. She will feel like she has something in her eyes for the next twenty-four hours. You can give her Tylenol to relieve any discomfort."

  "Luyu!"

  William's voice echoed in the hallway. He came running from behind and caught up with us. I turned and saw the nurse taking care of him trying to catch up.

  "I am so sorry, Dr. Langaa. I couldn't keep him any longer. He wanted to see her so badly. So when he saw you leave the room he ..."

  "It's okay Mrs. Patterson. I’ll take him from here. He can go with us to recovery. Thank you."

  William's eyes shone like small stars when he looked at Luyu even if she was unable to look back at him. I studied my son's affectionate gaze as we walked into the recovery room and placed Luyu close to the window even if she wouldn't be able to see the clinic's park once she woke up.

  "Now all we have to do is wait," I said to Aiyana. "We have to monitor her closely to make sure that everything is working the way it should be. The pediatric anesthesiologist will come and have a look at her as soon as she is awake and seems alert. We need to make sure that she is stable."

  "When can I play with her?" William asked.

  "She can come out of the bed as soon as she is awake and can keep some liquid down. But I’m not sure she’ll be ready to play yet. She cannot see because of the patches and she might feel a little sick when she wakes up but that'll wear off."

  "I'll get the animals ready just in case," William said and started unpacking the stuffed animals from Luyu's backpack and placing them in a circle on the floor.

  Aiyana and I sat in the chair under the window. She was smiling. I think I was too. Just her mere presence filled me with joy.

  "I am sorry to hear about Heather," she said.