Yours to Love: Bad Boys and Bands

by Adele Hart

  She clung to me like I’d pull out and leave her, but I needed her worse than she needed me. That was a frightening realization. I hadn’t let anyone pierce the solid steel walls of my heart because I knew I’d never survive another person leaving me. First my mom, and then Deb. A string of one-night stands could never fill the hole of abandonment.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever had sex that felt so good.” I relished in a slow and sensual kiss. “That was amazing.”

  She wrapped her arms tight around my waist and hugged me tightly. “I’ve never felt like that before.” She leaned back and looked up at me with heavy sated eyes.

  “Oh baby, we are only getting started.” I pulled out of her and disposed of the spent condom. Next, I readied the shower where I lathered her up and let the pulse of jets massage our bodies. She said she’d never showered with a man. You’ll never shower without me.

  When I took her to my bed she looked at it with skepticism. “It’s a bit late to ask but…”

  I pulled her against my body. “I’ve never had sex with anyone in this bus. You’re the first.” When she smiled, my heart flipped in my chest. I’d never had that happen either.

  Minutes later, Gia had the best seat in the house bouncing up and down on my hard cock. I knew right then, I’d never get enough of this woman.

  Chapter Nine

  Gia

  Sometime during the night we had changed drivers. Although Abel had enough energy to make love to me two more times last night, he was dead to the world today. I peeked out the window to find that we had stopped the buses in front of a restaurant.

  I pulled on a pair of jeans and went about my real job, which was taking care of the details. I walked slowly into the restaurant, feeling the ache of having been so thoroughly satisfied the night before. I ordered breakfast for all the band members.

  The guys razzed me when I knocked on their bus door. They all knew I’d spent the night with Abel but they didn’t make me feel dirty about it.

  I handed a stack of Styrofoam containers to Jess, who stood nude in the doorway of the bus. I’d seen more penis in the last few days than I’d seen my whole life, but the most beautiful one laid between the legs of the sleeping man on the bus next to us.

  “Clean up when you’re done,” I told them before I turned and headed toward Abel.

  When I walked to the bedroom, he was still asleep. I debated waking him up with food or my mouth. As the saliva built on my tongue I decided to be bold. With care, I pulled back the covers and looked at the sex god in front of me. He was perfection all the way from his bushy beard to his perfect toes.

  I stared at his cock and licked my lips. It must have felt me staring because it twitched and rose as if reaching for my mouth. Before I chickened out, I climbed on the bed beside him and stroked him with my tongue. That was all it took for him to become a steel rod. When I wrapped my wet lips around him and took him in my mouth as far as I could, he moaned out the sweetest sound of pleasure.

  My head bobbed while my tongue ran the length of him. I cupped his heavy balls and caressed them. Each time I moved, he moved. When his hands threaded through my hair, I knew he was fully awake.

  “Fuck. That feels so good.” He didn’t force me onto his length. He merely followed my motion and made delicious sounds while I sucked him.

  His muscles tightened as did his hands in my hair. The slight pull made me ache take him deeper. I inhaled and relaxed my throat. As he slipped further into my hot mouth I heard him hiss.

  “Gia,” he warned. “I’m going to—”

  I pressed him deep into my throat and hummed.

  “Holy shit.”

  That was the last I heard from him before he spilled himself into my mouth. Like he did to me on the counter last night, I sucked and stroked every shudder from his body. I lapped up his saltiness and licked him clean.

  When I moved away, he reached down and pulled me onto his chest. For minutes we lay there in silence. His heart beat under my ear. It went from fast to steady.

  “I’ve never,” he started.

  “I’m sure that’s not true.” I giggled.

  “I’ve never felt so comfortable so fast with a woman. You are so good for me Gia. I can’t believe I tried to send you away.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me until the end of the tour.” The thought of leaving Abel made my stomach twist. It had only been days, but I was falling in love with him.

  After round two last night, we laid in each other’s arms and shared our lives. To everyone on the outside, Abel looked like a man who had it all, but inside he was empty. He had money and possessions, but they didn’t fill the need he had to be loved. I saw it right away. Abel Kincaid needed love and I was happy to provide it for as long as I could.

  “Are you hungry?” I asked him.

  “Famished. You?”

  I rolled off his body and looked at his rising length. “I already ate.” I rarely teased and joked in my life. I’d spent far too long having to adult the very people who were supposed to take care of me. I didn’t mind the job but it was nice to be able to feel flirty and have fun.

  “Are you satisfied?”

  My fingers trailed down his rock hard stomach to float across the velvety skin of his cock. “Are you offering to feed me again?”

  Before I could blink, Abel was straddling my hips and removing my clothes. “I’m going to fill you up, baby. You’ll never be hungry again.”

  The pancakes I brought got cold as the morning was spent devouring each other.

  We fell back to sleep and woke in time to get ready for the concert that night.

  I went back to the bus to wait for him. It didn’t skip my notice that he’d changed the code to the date we met. Some women would say that was sweet, but to me it was downright romantic.

  The days went by like that. It was a continuous loop of concerts and sex until we reached the east coast.

  Each day I showed up with breakfast for everyone. Jess had started to answer the bus clothed, which was a shock. They’d done their best to keep the tour bus clean, and I’d done my best to tidy it when I could but most of my time was spent getting to know Abel. As we neared the anniversary of Deb’s death, I noticed a change in him. He was still loving, but he seemed tense and tight. Whereas during the day we normally cuddled in the bus and listened to music or made love, the last few days he’d pulled away.

  I checked the bus constantly for alcohol, which seemed silly because he’d never had a single drink since I’d been with him. I was the one sneaking a glass of wine during the concerts and brushing my teeth so he didn’t taste it on me when he kissed me.

  Two nights before the anniversary of her death, Abel made love to me with fierce passion and he begged me to never leave him. That was the day I knew I’d fallen in love with him. He was a broken man, and I was the glue that fixed him. I promised him that I’d be with him for as long as he wanted.

  I meant it until my father called and told me he was in trouble. Somehow he’d been able to finagle a bookie into a loan. Of course, he’d lost, and now he was afraid they’d come and break his other arm.

  When Abel walked into the bus that day he heard me tell my father I’d be on the next plane home and we’d figure everything out.

  Abel dropped the vase of flowers he was carrying. They crashed to the tile floor, sending red roses, water, and shards of glass everywhere.

  He looked at me as if I’d just ripped his heart out of his chest. “You’re leaving me?”

  I stood up but was halted in my progress to him. Barefooted I couldn’t cross the river of water, broken glass and thorny flowers.

  “Let me explain,” I begged.

  He shook his head. “No need. I’ll be fine.” He turned and walked away, and with him went my heart.

  I pulled on socks and shoes and searched for him but we were in Atlanta and the crowds swallowed us up. I went to the crew bus but he wasn’t there. I texted and called and got no answer.
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br />   After I cleaned up the mess I went back to our bedroom. Our bedroom. I fell into bed and pulled the pillow that smelled like him to my chest. I was being pulled apart by two men that I loved. My father, who should be able to take care of himself, and Abel, who I wanted to take care of. Both needed me. Loyalty tugged at my head, but love tugged at my heart.

  I texted my father first.

  Can’t save you from yourself. I love you Dad, but it’s time to face your demons. I’ve wired you what money I have. If you gamble it away, you’ll be gambling me away too. Pay them what you can and lay low until I get home.

  Love,

  Gia

  Next I texted Abel.

  Come home so we can talk. I need to tell you something.

  Yours to love,

  Gia

  It was a weird way to sign a message, but I was his. He’d claimed me that first day and I wanted to tell him I loved him. I wasn’t going to leave him.

  My heart broke when Abel didn’t reply. I’d failed him and failed my job. I was supposed to keep things together for him during this hard time. After one night of lovemaking, he told me the reason he mourned Deb so much was not because he loved her romantically. That had ended as soon as it began. It was because he felt he’d failed her. He hadn’t seen the signs. He hadn’t listened to her silent pleas for help.

  I tried to tell him that it wasn’t his fault. People made bad decisions all the time. Here I was giving advice that I didn’t heed myself. I’d been enabling my father and it wasn’t helping him. I saw him falling and failing, and I picked him up every time. He was making bad decisions for himself and yet I always felt like if I somehow made more money or did more for him, he wouldn’t need to gamble his sorrows away.

  Right then, I realized Abel and I were more alike than different. We both felt inadequate to save the ones we loved. I couldn’t imagine what it felt like to watch his mother fall into drugs and then find out he wasn’t important enough for her to stick around. The same happened with Deb. She had it all, but like Abel she felt empty and turned to drugs to fill the void. I would fill Abel’s void with love if the damn man would just come home.

  I waited in the concert hall in the second best seat of the house. My heart stilled when I watched him walk in. There were no signs that he was drinking. His gait was steady and his voice was strong.

  He stopped when he saw me. A thousand emotions crossed his face but indifference seemed to be the one that won out.

  He picked up his guitar and fined tuned it. Though I wanted to rush to him and tell him I was sorry, I was also angry that he’d ignored my texts and calls so I sat and watched him go through his routine.

  When the crowd began their chant, he walked past me without a word.

  When he exited the stage for a towel or water, it was never my side that he went to. That hurt me more than he could imagine but I understood that somewhere deep inside Abel was a little wounded boy and I’d allow him to act like one for now. When the concert was over, he rushed past me and back to the bus. I had everything ready like I did each night he performed, but tonight he walked into the bedroom and closed the door, leaving me alone.

  Chapter Ten

  Abel

  She hadn’t left me, but why had she stayed? All I wanted was to grab her and hold her and make love to her but I needed to know if she stayed because of me or the job, and yet I was too much of a coward to ask.

  After a long, hot shower, I climbed into bed. I tossed and turned for hours before I gave up and went to Gia. When I passed the clock on the microwave my heart stilled. It was four in the morning—the same time and day Deb was pronounced dead.

  Asleep on the couch was Gia. She was here and whatever the emergency she had, she’d chosen me. I scooped her into my arms. She woke and curled into my chest.

  “I’m so sorry Abel. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She cupped my cheek and looked into my eyes. “I’d never hurt the ones I love.”

  She loved me. She fucking loved me. My heart swelled with hope. I walked her back to our bedroom. Yes, our bedroom because I’d never be able to see it without her lying next me. Her writhing under my body. Her voice calling out my name when she climaxed. This was hers as much as mine. She brought warmth and life to it with just a smile.

  “I’m sorry, Gia. I acted like a child. Once again, I let a woman down. Rather than ask you what your emergency was, I focused on how it would affect me. I’m so sorry.” I pulled her close to my body and held on like my life depended on touching her. “I don’t know how it happened, but over the last few weeks you worked your way into my damaged heart and started to heal it. I love you. I can’t imagine my life without you here. I was so damn wrong when I said I didn’t need a babysitter. It’s obvious I need you.”

  We kissed for minutes before I realized that once again I was accepting what she was giving without thought to what she might need in this moment.

  “What happened that made you need to leave? Let me help you figure it out. Let me get you a flight to wherever you need to be.”

  She snuggled closer to me. “I need to be here.”

  I ran my fingers over her back and breathed in her scent. I didn’t want her to leave, but I knew I had to be okay if she did. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  She opened up about her father and his gambling debt. About how she took this job because she needed to pay off the loan sharks. She cried when she said she felt like she failed him. I understood that all too well.

  What tonight taught me was that each of us have choices to make and we have to own them. Deb made her choice and it landed her in an early grave. My mother made her choice too. I had no idea where she was, but I imagined she wasn’t in the arms of the person she loved.

  Gia’s father made a choice to gamble his life away, but I refused to let him gamble Gia’s future happiness away. She didn’t need to spend the rest of her life working off his debts. She was mine, and I’d take care of her, which meant I’d take care of him. In a round about way, I owed the man for making poor decisions because it was those choices that brought Gia into my life, and I’d be forever grateful.

  I made sure Gia felt my love with every thrust and stroke that night. In the morning, I left her sleeping peacefully in our bed while I set out to right the wrongs and plan my future.

  It was me who delivered breakfast that morning. Me who fed my beautiful woman pancakes while she laid naked between my sheets and me who entered her for the first time wearing nothing but a smile.

  At the concert that night, I kissed her as I walked onto the stage. The crowd went wild when I appeared. The love of the fans was good, but the love of a woman was everything.

  I’d hardly given the date much thought since this morning, but as I stood on the stage I realized that all that mattered was love.

  I tapped the mic and quieted the audience.

  “I wanted to start this off a little different tonight. As many of you know, I suffered a great loss three years ago when Deb Taylor passed away. I loved her but not how the press would like you to believe. She was a friend. A good friend.”

  I looked to the stage left where Gia sat. She knew this was a tough day so she threw me a kiss.

  “I blamed myself for years because I wasn’t there for her. I told myself I hadn’t done enough, I hadn’t loved her enough, but that wasn’t true. I loved her for all that she was. The problem was she didn’t love herself enough. So, I’m asking each one of you to love yourself enough to ask for help when you need it. Sex isn’t love.” The crowd erupted and I had to wait until they settled down. When they did, I continued. “Don’t get me wrong. It sure feels good, but filling your bed doesn’t equate to filling your heart.”

  I looked at Gia who smiled. “Don’t believe everything you read in the papers but … if you happen to read that I fell in love with a beautiful woman named Gia Simone, I can tell you it’s the truth. Believe every fucking word of it.” I waved for Gia to join me and she shook her head. “My woman is shy but she’s
sassy. Come here, Gia.” When she refused to budge I left the mic in the stand and went to her.

  “Don’t you dare make me go out there.” She shook her head and gripped onto the seat of the stool. If she thought that would stop me from having her next to me, she was crazy. I picked her up, stool and all, and carried her to center stage.

  She covered her face with her hands. I pulled them away and kissed her lips. “Stay with me?” I looked deep into her soulful eyes.

  “Forever,” she said.

  “I whipped up this song this afternoon when I was thinking about love.” The roadie ran my acoustic guitar and stool to me. I sat close to Gia. “This is for you, baby.”

  I sang a song called “Yours to Love”. It was about hopes and dreams and my love for Gia. She sat next me in what I’d still call the second best seat in the house. When we got back to the bus I’d remind her of the best seat in the house and then I’d make love to her all the way to our next stop in New York where I’d put a ring on her finger and make her mine forever.

  Chapter Eleven

  Gia-two months later

  Once we finished the tour, Abel flew my father out for our quick wedding in Vegas and then he shuffled him off to therapy. For the last month, we stayed in the Malibu mansion, baptizing every surface with our love, but today was a special day that required clothes and our presence.

  I bounced on the balls of my feet looking for him. Dad had been at the facility for thirty days but today he was graduating.

  Gambling rehab wasn’t much different then the twelve step program alcoholics went through. Dad had made it through the first steps and hopefully he’d walk the full path. We couldn’t force him, but we could lead him in the right direction. The choice was his.

  “Do you see him?” I asked Abel who stood a foot taller than me.

  “Yes, he’s on his way.”