Next Best Thing

by Charity Parkerson

  Four

  To Orion’s amazement, he made it until right before lunchtime before he couldn’t take another second of not talking to Tucker. He missed Tucker’s ridiculous plans to make him leave the house, and his big goofy smile. Orion was dying inside without Tucker’s stupid texts with even dumber jokes. He felt the void where Tucker should be every second of the day.

  Orion dug his cellphone out of his desk. He didn’t know what to say, so he stuck with something simple.

  Orion: I figure you’re probably just now waking up, so good morning. I’m sorry about everything.

  For several minutes, he stared at his phone, mentally willing it to buzz with an incoming text. Nothing happened. His eyes burned from not blinking. At least, that’s what he told himself. He tore his gaze away and went back to work while trying desperately to focus on anything other than the silent phone sitting on his desk. His chest felt heavy—like the air in his office was too thick. He sniffed. Orion bit his bottom lip, fighting the wave of misery that threatened to engulf him. He thought his mind might snap.

  “David wants an update on that Winston and Church street project.” Kyle let himself into Orion’s office like he owned the place. He plopped down in the chair across from Orion’s desk. “Why do you keep your office door closed? No one else does that.”

  Orion didn’t look away from his computer screen. He wasn’t sure he didn’t look every bit as ready to cry as he was. “The Winston and Church project is on schedule. I’ll have it done by next Wednesday, as promised. My office door is closed because Simon listens to shit music while Rachel gossips about everything under the sun and I can hear all of it very clearly. If that wasn’t enough, Hugh has porn playing on his computer screen a majority of the day which reflects right into my office when the door is open, and I also just like being left alone.”

  Kyle chuckled, as if he either hadn’t heard a word Orion said or thought he was joking. “You should come out with us tonight. We’re going to the Roadhouse for steak and bottomless beer.”

  A hint of guilt sneaked in at Kyle’s offer. His co-workers were always inviting him out, but Orion never went, except for the one time he ditched them at Howling Twister, but whatever. At least this time he had a good excuse. “I’m sorry. I have other plans.”

  For a long moment, Kyle stared at him in silence. His dark blue gaze moved over Orion’s face, looking for something Orion couldn’t decipher. He slid lower in his seat and steepled his fingers, looking a tiny bit wicked. Kyle was a good-looking guy. Orion wasn’t immune, but they worked together. “If you’re uncomfortable with crowds, you should let me take you someplace quiet for dinner instead.”

  Kyle’s offer stunned Orion for a second. He had always admired Kyle’s perfectly styled sandy blond hair and put together appearance, but still. “I wasn’t blowing you off when I said I already have plans. I’m leaving right after work for San Antonio.”

  “Oh.” Kyle straightened in his chair. “What’s in San Antonio?”

  “A book convention. Some of my favorite authors will be there. I have a weekend pass.” To Orion’s surprise, Kyle didn’t turn condescending like most men tended to do when he showed his nerdy side.

  “That truly sounds like your kind of thing. I hope you have a good time. How about a rain check? Maybe when you get back?”

  Orion nodded. “I don’t see why not.” After all, it wasn’t like Orion had anything else since Tucker was done with him now. Plus, even though Kyle was handsome, Orion didn’t feel completely out of his league with the guy. Kyle smiled, looking triumphant. Orion’s heart sank. He didn’t feel out of his league because he felt nothing at all. Orion returned Kyle’s smile to hide the emptiness growing inside. Tucker was right. He was a fucked-up mess, and he was too scared to admit it.

  For ten minutes, Tucker listened to his phone’s occasional buzz in the cup holder. Finally, while stopped at a red light, he broke. As he read Orion’s casual “I’m sorry,” he ground his back teeth to a pulp. The thing was, he was mad at himself. Orion had never tried to be more than friends with Tucker. Hell, for a while there, he didn’t even try to be friends with Tucker. It was Tucker who kept trying for more. Yet, he had gotten in Orion’s face, and accused him of being too fucked up to try. Tucker was so angry with himself he didn’t know where to start. He thought—maybe—he should start by going away.

  Tucker knew he was the problem. Orion deserved to be free of him. He wanted Orion to be happy. If he really loved Orion, it was time to get out of his way. His heart broke a little more as the seconds ticked by while he ignored Orion’s text. His only excuse was that he had never been in love. Maybe he didn’t know how to do it right.

  The moment he parked, he snatched up his phone. He would leave Orion in peace, but he wouldn’t leave him alone if he needed someone.

  Tucker: If Orion stops by while I’m out of town, will you keep him company if you’re home? He might be upset.

  Toby: Yeah, if I’m here. What did you do?

  That was the thing, wasn’t it? He was such a fuck up, even his brothers knew it was his fault.

  Tucker: Too much to type in a text. I’ll tell you about it later. Maybe you can tell me what I should do.

  Toby: I’m the oldest. That’s my job.

  With a shake of his head, Tucker snorted and threw open his truck door. Toby prided himself on being the oldest. The thing was, he was also the most well-adjusted. That had nothing to do with the nine-minute head start on life he had over Tucker. Toby was the one who never stayed quiet. He was the one who spoke up. The one who tried to keep them safe as kids by drawing attention his way. He was the one who had made the tough choices and saved them in the end. Maybe Tucker still needed a bit more saving. Tucker never stopped feeling like he was drowning.

  Five

  The hotel in San Antonio, where the convention was being held, was bustling with people. The place was old and grand looking, selling itself as one of the most haunted hotels in the country. Orion didn’t care about any of that. Not only did he not believe in ghosts, he just needed a place to sleep and shower.

  After checking in and dropping his luggage at his room, Orion grabbed his ticket to the event and headed downstairs. He tried waiting on the elevator, but after ten minutes passed, he gave up and hit the stairs. By following the signs through several hallways, Orion easily found the room to sign in. He traded his ticket for a lanyard with his name tag and a welcome bag full of god knows what. He didn’t want to stand there and dig to find out.

  Orion barely got the lanyard draped around his neck before a tall guy with thick blond hair and glasses stepped into his path. He eyed Orion’s name tag. “Orion. Love the name. Where are you from?”

  “Here,” Orion said, trying not to get distracted by the combination of dark blue eyes and hint of hairy chest peeking out at him. “Well, not here, here. I live in Austin, so just down the road.”

  “Me too. Well, not Austin, but not far from there. New Braunfels.”

  Orion nodded. “That’s a pretty town. Are you here to see a particular author or just for the love of books?”

  His new friend lifted the badge hanging around his neck and twirled it, so the name tag faced forward. “Actually, I’m an author. Mister Haven.”

  Orion smiled. “Is that your real name? Mister sounds suspiciously made up.”

  He winked. “So does Orion.”

  “Touché. Nice to meet you, Mister.”

  Mister’s dimples deepened. His expression turned wicked. “I’ll admit that sounds damn sexy on your lips.” Before Orion had time to puzzle over his words or discomfort could set in, Mister motioned toward the open doorway behind him. “Everyone is playing book boyfriend bingo right now. Would you like to sit together?”

  “Sounds good,” Orion said with a sharp nod. As he followed Mister to a nearby table, Orion mused over how comfortable he felt. Everyone smiled as he sat down at the already crowded table. They pushed some bingo cards and candy his way. Normally, he felt out o
f place everywhere he went, but these people were just like him. They were here because they loved to read. Orion could breathe for the first time in a long time. Tucker wasn’t the only thought in his head, and it was freeing.

  Mister leaned his way. “So, did you come this weekend to meet anyone in particular or are you looking for new authors?”

  “Both,” Orion admitted. “I’m always on the lookout for new authors, but I also saw that T.J. Brown would be here, selling advanced copies of his book that’s set to release next month. He’s one of my favorites, so I hoped to snag one before they sell out.”

  While arranging his cards, Mister nodded. “T.J. is here already. I saw him earlier. You might be able to convince him to sell you a copy before the signing tomorrow. Technically, that’s against signing policy, but meh. You paid to be here, so you can ask, right?” He glanced around the room before focusing on Orion. “He said something about coming down for the games tonight, but I’m not sure he will. The bigger names don’t always hang out at all the events. They worry readers won’t give the rest of us a chance if they attend everything.”

  That made sense. Orion had to admit, if he knew T.J. was there right now, he might try to steal a moment of his time. “What do you write?”

  Dark blue eyes filled with good humor flashed his way at Orion’s question. “BDSM how-to books.” Orion’s eyebrows rose. Mister kept talking. “I’m giving a live demo later tonight.” He winked. “If you’re interested.”

  Orion caught himself smiling. “Maybe I’ll see you there.”

  “Oh, there’s T.J.,” a woman muttered nearby, snagging Orion’s attention.

  Orion turned his head. Tucker filled the doorway. His sexy forest green eyes scanned the room. He looked unhappy. His gaze landed on Orion. For a moment, they held each other’s stare. Tucker turned and walked away.

  “I guess he decided not to stay,” the woman added, as Tucker disappeared.

  Orion’s frozen brain clicked the two statements together. Tucker was T.J. What the hell? Orion flew to his feet, snatching up his welcome bag as he went. “Excuse me.” He didn’t even know who he was talking to exactly. All Orion knew was, he was pissed as hell, and he needed to catch Tucker. In the hallway, he spotted Tucker’s retreating form. His short legs had a hell of a time trying to keep up with Tucker’s long stride. Orion would be goddamned if he ran through the halls like a crazy person. His temper broke.

  “Tucker Jonas Kodiak. Are you running from me?”

  Tucker froze in his tracks. He turned, wearing a scowl. “Did you just call me to the carpet, using my full name?”

  Orion didn’t back down. “Maybe I did, T.J. Brown. That’s clever, by the way, being as how a Kodiak is just a brown bear.” Pain sliced through Orion’s chest. “I guess I know how you managed to get me that personalized copy of Redemption Highway for my last birthday.” Orion’s voice cracked. His gaze skirted away as he closed the distance between them. “Do I even know you at all?”

  The hard edge to Tucker’s voice didn’t soften when he answered. “I don’t know. Did you ever try to know me? Or were you too busy trying to keep me in my place to be bothered?”

  Defeat washed over Orion. Not only had he obviously never known Tucker, Tucker was openly done with Orion. The small peace he had found by coming here was gone. Orion shook his head. He fought the darkness he had avoided since meeting Tucker. It was so fucking hard to breathe. “Never mind. Forget you saw me here.” He stepped around Tucker and headed for the elevator. As he pushed the button, calling for the lift, he felt Tucker move to stand beside him. They stood side by side in silence. Neither of them made any move to talk. They felt even more finished than before. Maybe he would just go home. There would be no peace here now.

  Orion stared hard at the frozen lit number above the elevator door. He willed it to move and set him free from this hell, while barely suppressing the urge to tap his foot. Nervousness took control of his tongue. “I had this problem earlier. With it being this close to dinnertime, everyone is probably trying to get on the elevator at the same time to come downstairs. Maybe I should just take stairs.”

  “I never take the stairs,” Tucker said, sounding absent.

  Orion’s forehead furrowed in confusion. He felt it happen. Tucker had stairs in his house and his bedroom was literally at the top of his staircase. His words didn’t make sense. “Why?”

  Tucker flashed him an unreadable look. “Because they’re always up to something.”

  Out of the blue, Orion’s throat swelled, and his eyes burned. “You can’t stop being my friend. You’re all I have,” Orion said, hearing the way his voice gave away his barely suppressed tears. Orion tore his gaze away and went back to staring at the closed doors. The burning behind his eyes intensified. The doors blurred. Orion broke and turned away, heading for the stairs. He couldn’t do this. Everything hurt too badly. He didn’t know why he had chased after Tucker. They weren’t friends anymore. Tucker could keep his secrets, since Orion obviously didn’t matter that much. Orion barely cleared the door to the stairwell when Tucker overcame him. His large body collided with Orion’s back, knocking the air from his lungs.

  Tucker snatched him off his feet and held Orion so tightly against his chest that Orion couldn’t catch his breath. Of course, he recognized it might be his broken heart and not Tucker’s hold, choking him. Tucker’s lips brushed the shell of his ear. Air filled Orion’s lungs. He clung to the arms wrapped around him—like they were his only lifeline.

  Tucker made a shushing noise against his ear. “Shhh. It’s okay. We’re okay.” He kissed Orion’s ear again. “I don’t understand you, baby,” Tucker said, keeping his voice soothing. “Why are you so convinced that I can’t be your friend and be in love with you? I’ve been pulling off both just fine for months now.” He kissed Orion’s neck. “Just come upstairs with me, okay? I promise everything will be okay. Let me fix it.”

  Orion went limp in Tucker’s arms. He didn’t have the strength to fight. Orion didn’t have the power to control anything. All he knew was, he couldn’t be without Tucker. He didn’t have anything else.

  Tucker kept one eye on Orion while they climbed the stairs to the third floor. He looked so dejected and broken that Tucker half expected him to drop. He had done that. Tucker’s throat tightened. While standing outside the elevator, Orion looked exactly like a man drowning on dry land. He had never hurt worse, and that was saying a lot. Hurting Orion, it was a hot poker in his heart.

  “I’m in 316.”

  Orion nodded as they cleared the doorway to the third floor. Still, he kept his head down as he walked. Tucker dug his keycard from his wallet. He had no idea what to do or say. All he knew was, he couldn’t lose Orion or keep hurting him. This was horrible.

  As they reached the door, Orion sniffed. Tucker froze at the sound. He snagged Orion’s chin, forcing his face Tucker’s way. His eyes were red and filled with tears. Tucker swore he heard his heart crack. He pressed his lips to Orion’s, because he had to. Orion didn’t flinch or pull away. He let it happen.

  Tucker scanned his card and herded Orion into the room. The moment the door closed behind them, Tucker snatched Orion off his feet and claimed his mouth. Orion tossed his welcome bag to the floor and came back at him every bit as hard. He pulled Tucker’s hair as he tried climbing his body. Tucker lifted him higher with both hands full of Orion’s ass. Orion wrapped his legs around Tucker’s waist and held on. Even though Tucker was more turned on than he had ever been in his life, his heart was the organ in charge.

  He took Orion down on the bed. Orion tore at Tucker’s clothes. Tucker leaned away to let Orion have his shirt. Orion lifted, following him. The moment Tucker’s chest was bared, Orion’s teeth sank into his pec. Tucker could barely breathe. Lust choked him. He should have known Orion would be like a wildcat, tearing at his skin. Tucker threw his head back and sucked air as Orion ripped open the front of Tucker’s jeans and dove in. He massaged Tucker’s cock like he had every intenti
on of getting covered in cum that minute.

  “Holy shit. Slow down. You feel way too good.”

  “That’s the point,” Orion growled while nibbling every spot he could reach. “I don’t have anything with me, so this is the best I can do until later.”

  “There’s lube and condoms in your welcome bag.”

  Orion went still. “Are you serious?”

  Tucker nodded as he went to work on removing Orion’s clothes. “They’re stamped with my name.”

  “Thank god,” Orion breathed, pushing Tucker’s jeans down his hips. In a tumble of stolen kisses and ripping of clothes, they finally managed to get undressed. Sweat already coated Tucker’s skin from the effort it took not to snap like a wild animal. He knew from their many candid late-night talks that they were both pretty versatile, but Tucker had teased many times he would gladly let Orion fuck him. Tucker wanted that now. He was pretty much dying for the dick at this point, especially now that he knew how rough Orion would be. There were already several scratches and bite marks marring his skin. Tucker needed more. Later, they could go slow.