A Family for His Tiny Twins

by Josie Metcalfe

  ‘NADIA?’

  The voice was soft and concerned and unmistakably Gideon’s but it still took her several seconds to drag her gaze up to meet those beautiful green eyes.

  It had been past midnight by the time the police inspector had left the flat and she was still sitting huddled in the corner of his settee with a thick quilt wrapped around her shoulders, feeling as lifeless as a puppet with the strings cut.

  ‘You must be exhausted,’ he said, and she supposed he must be right, but she knew she wouldn’t be getting sleep any time soon. Her nerves were so jangled that it felt as if she might fly apart into a million pieces at the slightest thing.

  ‘Come on.’ He held one lean hand out in invitation. ‘It’s time you got some rest.’

  She stared at his hand for several seconds, unable to work out what he wanted her to do with it, then he made a little beckoning gesture and it dawned on her.

  ‘I should go back to my own—’ she began, then stopped with a grimace, remembering the policeman’s description of the destruction that Mihal had wreaked at Laszlo’s behest. There was no way she could go back there tonight. In fact, she would probably never be able to go back there, ever, with the memories of what had so nearly happened there.

  ‘There’s a bed waiting for you and I’ve just made it up with clean bedding, so don’t let my efforts go to waste,’ he added with a hint of a twinkle that convinced her that it would be safe to put her hand in his. She certainly didn’t have the strength to get off the settee under her own steam, not with her legs still trembling the way they were. She didn’t think she’d ever run so fast in all her life, not even the first time she’d escaped from Laszlo. Added to that, she’d had to take such a roundabout route so as not to lead anyone to Gideon’s door that it had more then doubled the distance.

  ‘Here you are,’ he said as he paused in the doorway and gestured inside the room. ‘You know where the en suite is. If there’s anything else you need…?’

  ‘But this is your room,’ she objected, feeling more miserable than ever at the situation. Everything was so different from earlier that evening. Then, she had actually been foolish enough to think that there might be a chance of something…something more between the two of them. She should have known that once any decent man heard what she’d done…what she’d been…a huge gulf would be bound to open up between the two of them.

  It had been bad enough having to tell him the bare bones of her story, but the way it had flooded out of her like that, she really hadn’t been able to stop it. But then to know that Gideon was sitting there, listening, while she’d spelt it out to the policeman in all its nightmarish details, had been almost more than she could bear.

  She hadn’t even been able to force herself to look across at him, knowing that the protective wall that he’d been persistently demolishing week by week as she’d cared for his babies was going to have to be built up again, brick by painful brick, until she could hide behind her protective shield again.

  ‘Will you be all right?’ he asked softly, and for just a moment it looked as if he might reach out to stroke her face, but then his hand dropped to his side and she knew that there would be no more touching. Why would he want to touch someone who’d been—?

  ‘You can leave the light on if you want to,’ he suggested, breaking into her dark thoughts. ‘And if there’s anything else you need, all you’ve got to do is call. I’ll be close by, so I’ll hear if you…’

  The shadows in those deep green eyes and the hint of a frown pleating his forehead under the unruly strands of dark hair were silent evidence that, in spite of everything he had heard this evening, he was still the same caring, kind man that he’d always been.

  Without a second’s warning the floodgates finally burst.

  ‘Oh, Gideon…’ she wailed as the tears began to stream down her cheeks, and to her utter relief he didn’t hesitate for a second before he swept her up into his arms.

  Those arms were so strong and made her feel so secure as he cradled her on his lap, settling himself against his headboard while her body tried to cleanse itself of so many years of misery and fear.

  It wasn’t until the flood had finally dwindled to a trickle that she realised that he’d tucked her head in the curve of his shoulder that seemed to have been made just for her, and there, now that her sobs had quietened to intermittent hiccups, she discovered that she could hear his heartbeat, steady, strong, reassuring…all the things that were the essence of Gideon himself.

  She was so exhausted that she couldn’t resist staying just where she was for a little while longer, enjoying the simplicity of listening to the steady rhythms of life while, for the first time she could remember, she soaked up the delight of being held as if she mattered…as if someone actually cared about her.

  Even as sleep started to overtake her she knew that thought was just an illusion, especially now that Gideon knew all her ugly secrets. He was taking care of her for tonight because she didn’t have anywhere else to go, but after that he probably wouldn’t want to have anything more to do with her. That thought hurt far worse than anything Laszlo had done to her, as did the realisation that Gideon probably wouldn’t want someone like her taking care of his precious babies either.

  Gideon knew exactly when Nadia fell asleep in his arms but he had no intention of letting her go, even to tuck her under the covers in his bed.

  He was still slightly in shock with everything that had happened in the last few hours, but in case this was the only time that he was ever granted the opportunity to hold her, he had no intention of wasting a single second.

  He’d known almost from the first day he’d met her that she was someone special, but he’d never realised just how extraordinary until he’d listened to the awful details she’d related to the officers tonight.

  He could no more understand the actions of a father who would sacrifice his daughter to provide for his son than he could condone a man like Laszlo growing rich from the misery of innocent young girls.

  But the one thought that repeated itself over and over in his head as he cradled this indomitable woman in his arms was how much he respected her and how proud he was of everything she’d achieved after such a destructive start to her life.

  He’d been attracted to her…Hah! What was he thinking? He’d been falling in love with her almost from the first time he’d seen how tenderly she’d cared for his fragile babies. And that was in spite of the fact that Norah’s abandonment had made him wary of opening himself up to any sort of new relationship.

  Nadia had been reserved, too, but it was no wonder that she’d been so wary of allowing anything other than a strictly work-related connection between them. He wouldn’t really be surprised if she’d never been able to allow another man to touch her, and the fact that she’d actually let him cradle her on his lap while she cried those long-overdue tears gave him hope.

  Unfortunately, he’d also seen the way she’d withdrawn inside herself with every word she’d spoken to the police and, in spite of the fact that her information was even now assisting in the breaking of one of the vice rings that had been plaguing the country for far too long, he’d recognised the signs that told him she was rebuilding the wall between herself and the rest of the world.

  It was frustrating, especially when this evening he’d actually felt as if he was managing to put a few cracks in that wall. He’d even begun to hope that it wouldn’t be too long before he could persuade her that she couldn’t bear to lose contact with Adam and Amy. He certainly wasn’t too proud to use her obvious attachment to the twins for his own ends, because if she wanted to continue seeing them, that meant he wouldn’t be losing contact with her either.

  And one day…maybe…she might learn to trust him enough to become a permanent part of their lives…perhaps some time before those two precious babies were old enough to have babies of their own? he added glumly.

  He stifled a wry chuckle at that thought, knowing he would go screaming around the be
nd long before that if he couldn’t find some way to hold her in his arms on a regular basis.

  He didn’t know when it had happened, but having Nadia in his life seemed to have become as essential to him as breathing, and that meant that he had some serious thinking to do if he was going to find a way to persuade her to take a chance on him.

  ‘Gideon?’ she murmured drowsily, and he nearly groaned aloud when she nuzzled against his throat like a sleepy kitten.

  Suddenly he felt her grow rigid in his arms and he knew that she’d either remembered tonight’s events or she’d realised that she was far too close to him for comfort.

  ‘It’s all right, Nadia,’ he soothed, reluctantly loosening his hold on her so that she could put as much distance between them as she needed. ‘Tuck yourself into bed and I’ll leave you in peace.’

  ‘No,’ she whimpered, clutching his shirt and pressing herself against him as if he was her only shelter. ‘Don’t go. I don’t want to be alone.’

  ‘If you’re certain?’ He tightened his hold on her again, marvelling at how perfectly she seemed to belong there with him.

  It felt wrong to be grateful that she was too scared for him to leave her, but at the moment he’d take any concession he could get. When he’d heard the fear in her voice, he’d been terrified that phone call would be the last time he ever heard from her. To be given permission to hold her close like this was far more than he’d expected.

  ‘I’m certain,’ she whispered against his throat and the soft puffs of air sent shivers up and down his spine.

  He felt her relax against him and thought she was falling asleep again until she began to speak, her voice as insubstantial as mist in the dimly lit room.

  ‘I’ve been lonely for so many years,’ she confessed, almost as if she was admitting to a weakness. He wanted to reassure her that none of it had been her fault but knew it was more important to let her take things at her own pace.

  ‘I couldn’t let anyone get too close because I couldn’t tell anyone who I really was,’ she continued. ‘I didn’t dare, because I was certain that Laszlo was still looking for me…He would never give up while he believed I still owed him for the money he gave my f-father.’

  She drew in a jagged breath and he knew that was one betrayal he would probably never be able to forgive the man who should have protected her.

  ‘And also because I couldn’t trust anyone enough to let them come near me…couldn’t be sure that they wouldn’t hurt me, too.’

  ‘You can trust me,’ he said through the ache in his throat that grew with every minute that he fought tears of his own.

  Suddenly he had a flash of memory of that young girl who’d been brought into A and E not long ago. She’d been the same age as Nadia when she’d first been brutalised, not much more than a child.

  ‘I know I can trust you…I trusted you with my life when I phoned you,’ she said with a new strength to her voice that gave him hope.

  Did he dare push her now? Was it too soon after recent events or was it best to give her the certainty of knowing that he wanted something long term with her?

  ‘Could you do it again?’ he asked, hoping she couldn’t hear the way his pulse had started to gallop, but there was nothing he could do about it. This woman meant as much to him as those fragile babies she’d been caring for, and his life would be utterly empty without them.

  ‘Could I do what?’ Was that wariness he heard in her voice or was she too exhausted for such a conversation at this time of night? He hoped not, because the words he needed to say were burning a hole in his tongue.

  ‘Could you trust me with your life? Could you trust me to make you happy?’ Words could never encompass everything he wanted to say, but he had no other way of asking.

  He was certain he’d made a mess of everything when she didn’t speak for a long time, certain that she was trying to find the kindest way to tell him that there was no hope that she could ever—

  ‘What do you mean, Gideon? What are you asking for?’

  He had to swallow the lump of fear in his throat before he could answer. ‘I’m asking for you to trust me enough to marry me.’

  ‘No!’ The refusal was instant and he didn’t need the fierce shake of her head to reinforce her refusal. The roaring sound in his ears almost drowned out the fact that she was speaking again.

  ‘Gideon, it’s not possible. You can’t want to marry me, not when you know all those things about me, not when I might never be able to…to be a normal wife to you. You need someone who—’

  ‘You, Nadia. I need you,’ he interrupted, put gentle fingertips to her mouth to silence her argument, then continued, ‘I want to marry you and live with you for the rest of our lives and I would still want to marry you even if I knew I was never going to be able to do anything more than hold you in my arms each night.’

  ‘But…’ The expression in her eyes was a mixture of bewilderment and hope.

  ‘Believe in me, Nadia. Believe in my love,’ he said persuasively, his heart in his mouth. ‘Say yes.’

  ‘Oh, help! I think I’m going to be sick again,’ Dani muttered in an aside to Nadia as they waited for the music to begin.

  ‘Try taking a deep breath and concentrate on blowing it out slowly,’ Nadia murmured. It was one of the few tricks she knew, dating from the time when she’d finally realised what was wrong with her all those years ago. ‘And think good thoughts,’ she added. ‘You don’t want Josh to see you looking green when you join him at the altar.’

  ‘It’s his fault I’m feeling sick,’ Dani grumbled. ‘If he hadn’t been so stubborn, I wouldn’t have had to seduce him and we’d have remembered to take precautions.’

  ‘I think that comes under the heading of too much information.’ Nadia chuckled, hoping that it was jealousy tying her nerves in knots rather than terror at the thought of the coming night.

  With a baby already on the way, it was obvious that Dani and Josh had anticipated their wedding vows, while she and Gideon…

  She threw a glance in his direction, able to see him standing beside Josh from her position by the door, and her heart did that same crazy dance as it had just an hour ago in the registry office when the two of them had stood in front of the registrar to make their own vows.

  Gideon had tried to persuade her to make it a double wedding with Dani and Josh, sharing the same venue for the ceremony as well as the reception, but she couldn’t. Somehow, the memories of everything she’d gone through—everything she’d been forced to do—and especially the fact that she’d been unable to stop them killing Anya before she’d had a chance to draw a single breath…all of that had left her with a sense of guilt that, even though her logical mind knew it was unwarranted, her heart wouldn’t let her stand in a church to make her vows.

  And Gideon had understood.

  Irrational though it may have seemed to anyone who hadn’t lived through it, the moment she’d tried to put the words together to explain her feelings, he’d immediately agreed that the actual venue for their wedding didn’t matter to him so much as the fact that they would be making their promises to each other.

  At the altar Dani turned to hand her bouquet to Nadia, the expression of joy on her face showing that all thoughts of morning sickness had been banished. Gideon’s strong arm wrapped around Nadia’s shoulders and guided her to their designated pew, and a brief glance at their assembled friends, relatives and colleagues showed more than one eye bright with the hint of joyful tears.

  The brief sadness that there hadn’t been any members of her own family to share her unexpected happiness was dispelled when Gideon murmured, ‘Is everything all right?’

  ‘Perfect,’ she whispered back, and hoped that he couldn’t see the growing nervousness behind her smile. Amy and Adam were probably going to be ready for release by the end of the week and, after the wedding reception, there was also all the new nursery furniture to assemble in readiness for their arrival.

  And none of that was the reason
for the panicky jitters that were tightening the coil of anxiety inside her until she didn’t know whether to wish that the day would go on for ever or to want it to be over and done with.

  ‘Relax,’ Gideon soothed, his words for her ears alone under the bright chatter and laughter of the people surrounding them.

  All day he’d been aware that Nadia was wound tighter than a violin string, and at first had thought it was because she was thinking about backing out of the marriage.

  Not that he would have let her, because her belief that he could find someone far better to marry was nonsense. Then he’d wondered whether she was nervous about appearing in front of their friends and colleagues for the first time without the disguise she’d adopted to hide her identity.

  ‘It might take me a little time to get used to the real you, but you look beautiful,’ he teased, taking in the soft sunshine blonde of the hair that had been hidden under the nondescript brown dye and the striking turquoise eyes that had been revealed when she’d removed the coloured contact lenses. ‘Not that I didn’t like the way you looked before,’ he added quickly, and pressed a kiss to the silky skin at her temple.

  If anything, his reassurance only seemed to make her grow more tense and he began to wonder if she was already regretting their vows. Or perhaps it was nothing more than a habit for her, after living with terror for so many years?

  ‘Laszlo’s behind bars,’ he reminded her, the news passed on by the policeman who’d questioned Nadia the night she’d run to Gideon for protection. ‘He won’t be able to come after you again.’

  Her smile looked more genuine that time, and was filled with satisfaction. The information she’d been able to give the police had enabled them to fit the final pieces to the jigsaw they’d been assembling to give them the full picture of Laszlo’s drugs and prostitution empire. As a result, there were now thirty-seven young girls receiving help after they’d been rescued from the brutal life into which he’d forced them, and with the freezing of his bank accounts full of the proceeds of trafficking, it shouldn’t be long before it would be as if his evil had never existed…except in the memories of his victims.