by Ponce, Jen
Yes, she said, satisfaction warming her word.
Ugh. I turned to tell Krosh when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I snapped my head back—nothing. Turned again and there it was, a sneaky little critter, scampering over the bones to snap at Ellison’s heels. I flung my hand toward him. ‘Neutria! Web?’
She complied, giving me the way to shoot her sticky energy at Ellison. It wrapped around him and the shadowy little fucker got caught up in it. I still couldn’t see it but I could see its wriggles in the buzzing lines of the web.
‘Are there more?’
Yes. Hundreds. Spiders, she hissed in satisfaction.
Shit. The thing in the net was joined by more and soon the web was ripped apart by all the squirming bodies. Spider bodies, were I to take Neutria’s word for it. ‘How do we get him out?’
Neutria ignored me, watching the spiders in fascination. Was she impressed? Or did she want to eat them? Maybe both, for all I knew.
‘Maybe we could send in flames,’ I said, feeling lame. Magic wouldn’t work here. Not right, anyway. Wasn’t sure where I’d get a raging fire without magic. I hadn’t exactly remembered to bring a lighter.
‘Perhaps we were given Spider Stones for more than protection,’ the young man who’d freaked out earlier said. I jumped a little, startled I’d heard him. I think Krosh was surprised too. Something had changed while we’d been in this hell hole. And that wasn’t necessarily a good thing at all.
I considered how we might use the stones to get rid of the spiders and came up blank. ‘Anyone have any ideas?’
‘One of us must speak to them,’ suggested the young woman—’Kaolini,’ she told me with a wan smile.
With a stone in my mouth, I’d sound silly, but maybe the spiders wouldn’t care. Then I had a better thought. ‘Neutria, could you talk to them, do you think? Using my mouth?’ I didn’t want to give her that much control over me. I’d let Arsinua do it, once, and it had been weird and awful and strange. It would only be worse with Neutria, and what if it softened the barriers so much that she would be able to do it again, whenever she wanted? Still though.
Get out of my way, she said, and shoved me back into my own head. She didn’t change but it felt similar to the bone-crunching awfulness of the transformation between my human form and that of her spider form. “I am Neutria,” she said, her voice ringing out over the pit. Ellison moaned and tipped his head our way. “You will obey me.”
Good lord, I thought. She’d have them charging at us in seconds.
“You will show yourselves to these puny two-legs.”
‘Neutria,’ I said, warningly. She, of course, ignored me.
One by one, the spiders popped into sight. There were red, green, black, blue, orange and yellow ones. Pink, purple, silver, and gold ones. They were all similar in size and shape, rainbow nightmares on eight legs. There were colors I didn’t have names for and they covered every inch of the pit in squirming horror.
And then Neutria said, “I am your new Queen.”
And I thought, Oh shit, we’re fucked.
TWENTY-TWO
I couldn’t turn my head to look at Krosh and had no idea what he was thinking of the new voice coming out of my mouth. She certainly didn’t sound like me. Neutria’s voice was lower than mine, more forceful, and it rang with power. It was like roaring with words. She said, “I’ve come to release you from your prison!”
‘We aren’t here to liberate spiders! We are here to get Ellison and get the hell out.”
The psychedelic horror-show scrabbled around madly. Either they really liked what she was saying or her voice was stirring them up to crazy new heights of eight-legged mischief.
Yeah, that was a mild word for such a sight. I tried to sink down into my control room to see what I could do to take back my head and she slammed a black box around me so fast my ears—my imaginary ears—rang. When she’d done this to me before, she’d at least given me an explanation. This time? No. Nothing. She just shoved her will over me and trapped me like a bug in a glass. ‘Let me out you dozy spider or I will find away to pluck you from my head and smash you flat!’
There was a tug of magic deep in my belly and a bright pink and green dome flared as the energy flung my Neutria splatted against it. This energy ate its way through the barrier, pitting it like acid then dripping through, sizzling to the floor below. It scattered spiders, the screaming colors rushing this way and that to avoid the magic burning its way through.
“Come to me.”
And they did, swarming over the side of the pit, rushing over and around the feet and legs of the Wydlings, who huddled together for protection, using what weapons they had to ward off the horde.
The spiders didn’t bite, thankfully, and I felt Neutria’s fierce satisfaction as they gathered behind us. Protecting us. Not harming us. “You are my minions now,” she said and I could almost picture her standing like Xerxes in front of a massive Persian army.
She retreated from the forefront of my mind, letting me go, letting me know that she’d let me go. I hadn’t freed myself. She’d had all the controls.
I was sweating profusely when I came to. ‘Shit. Shit, shit, shit.’
Krosh’s eyes were gleaming. ‘You will not do that again, Spider.’
Neutria hissed at him. She must have reared up in my eyes because Krosh’s face hardened. Then I felt the push of his magic, his Anchor magic and it shoved Neutria back as forcefully as she’d shoved me.
My body gave a violent jerk and then I was myself again. Neutria was still there but she was the voice in my head, not the spider queen she’d declared herself to be. “Thank you,” I said, hoping my words held all of my gratitude. They couldn’t possibly, I realized, so I stood on tiptoe and kissed him thoroughly. “Thank you.”
He nodded. ‘She is getting stronger.’
‘Yes.’ I took a breath. ‘Scary strong. I’ll figure out something later. Right now I have to help Ellison.’
‘We.’
Warmth spread over me. Relieved the fear. ‘Yes. We. Thank you.’
We worked out a way to lower me and Krosh safely to the pit’s floor. The others stayed topside in case we ran into trouble, and to keep an eye on the eerily silent spider horde.
There were so many bones littering the floor, and it wasn’t like wading through snow to get through them. It was exactly like trying to walk through bones—brittle, heavy, and fucking creepy.
The spikes were shoulder height and wicked looking up close. Dried blood, guts, and brain matter icked them up and the smell was horrendous. I breathed through my mouth as much as possible, ever mindful of the Spider Stone on my tongue.
When we got to Ellison, he gasped, sensing Jasper. I couldn’t talk to him, so I only grasped his leg gently to let him know I was there. I didn’t know if he’d try to kill me the second we got him off the spike or if it would take him awhile to work up to murderous rage and it didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to leave him here.
We pushed Ellison upward, Krosh and I, with me feeding Ellison some healing energy. It was slow going and hard; it only got worse when the spike tapered, allowing his intestines to spill in sausage loops through the hole in his back. I gagged, caught myself, tried to breathe only through my mouth and to think only of flowers and rainbows. Except rainbows reminded me of the spiders waiting above, and that reminded me of my psycho head-dweller, and then my eyes turned back to Ellison’s slimy guts, and I gagged again. I had to remember that throwing up was not conducive to keeping my Spider Stone in place and the broken magic at bay.
We got him down, but not after I had the heinous job of retrieving the guts that had gotten caught up on the wrong side of the spike. Krosh laid Ellison on his side, and together we poked his guts back into his body cavity. It was nasty work: they were leaking, and I had to step away twice to fight the urk. Not fair. Surely I’d seen enough disgusting stuff that I was inured to the nastiness, but my stomach didn’t agree.
Jasper was inside me
, weeping. I wanted to weep with him, but I tamped that down too.
Krosh wrapped his shirt around the Skriven’s middle to try to keep everything in place while we moved him. I squatted down and put my hand on Ellison’s feverish flesh above the gaping wound. ‘Let me see if I can do something.’ I looked at my spawn with my Magic Eye. Energy buzzed fretfully. I guided it through my arm to Ellison’s body, which worked better than when I’d tried to send a volley of energy into the air. I pumped magic into him, more and more, concentrating on growing skin, healing wounds, mending tears. I was so focused on that, I didn’t realize Jasper had slipped free of me until the Slip Song stopped abruptly and Ellison’s eyes flew open.
They snapped to my face. And he snarled.
***
His fist shot up and clutched me around my neck—and dropped as he, with a scream, grabbed his head.
‘Jasper!’ I had no idea if he could hear me now, but his loss grated harshly inside me. In his absence, Neutria’s newfound strength filled me. ‘Jasper, damn it. Why did you do it?’
Ellison’s mouth twisted, his face turned red. Spittle formed on his lips as he and Jasper and perhaps even the Rider fought for supremacy. This would be the perfect moment to kill him. He was vulnerable, he had his soul. But I had questions for the Rider and without a soul balancing me, I couldn’t see any urgency to ending things just yet. I stood and jerked him to his feet. He screamed and clutched at his stomach. Were his guts spilling out? He’d better hold them tight, then, hadn’t he?
Neutria smiled.
Krosh eyed me, standing on Ellison’s other side to support him. My gaze told him something. He didn’t turn away, didn’t drop his gaze. He was lucky spiders didn’t play alpha games. I gave him a smile which he did not return. Perhaps mine had too many teeth in it.
We got him over to the edge and managed, with little difficulty on our part and much screaming on his, to get him up the pit wall. Then Krosh stopped me before I could grab the offered hand. ‘You are quit of the Wing?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then you will have some of my soul, so that you will remain yourself.’
I raised an eyebrow. ‘Even if you could just give me half your soul, why would I want it?’
He didn’t reply. Stood still. Neutria hissed inside me, but it wasn’t in anger. She wanted him. Liked him. Respected his prowess as a hunter. Mate.
Yes. There was that. ‘Should I? We’re stronger this way.’
She dithered. She actually dithered, my big, strong spider. Then she said, Yes. Do it. I have no fear of fading.
I put my hand on his bare chest, enjoying the muscles under warm skin. Then I pulled, tugging the way Amara had tugged on me. It was delicious, even more so when he gasped, his golden eyes going wide.
His soul filled me and it tasted so good. So good. I wanted to drink him all down and watch the light fade out of his eyes. I would have—I might have, but then his soul filled me, fuller than Jasper had and I gasped as feelings, emotions, empathy flooded me. “Shit!” I said out loud, dropping my stone. “Krosh! Oh my god, did I kill you?” Then the broken magic was on me, in me, slithering under my skin like insects. I staggered back, Ellison’s laughter ringing in my ears. Krosh’s shout.
I clawed at my face, at my neck, my arms, trying to get the shit out of me. I didn’t even realize Krosh was there until the Spider Stone clicked against my teeth and settled onto my tongue.
The magic oozed away. Oozed away and I doubled over, my stomach rebelling. I kept my jaw clamped shut, my teeth squeaking with the force of it. When I thought I could straighten, I did, clutching the man who’d given me so much and lost so much in return. ‘Why? You should have left me.’
‘I could not. I will not.’ He was pale and gasping, as I was. He pulled me into him and hugged me close, as if that might bring him back the vital part of him missing. I hugged him fiercely in return, sobbing against his shoulder as the shitload of awful things I’d done tumbled in on me. Even though I’d felt justified, they hurt. They hurt so bad.
Hands grasped us, lifting us out of the pit. The Wydlings surrounded us, wrapping their arms around us, bringing us into the tribe like they’d done with Jasper once before. Ellison lay gasping but I caught a glimpse of longing on his face before it was wiped away by the struggle inside him. Then I let myself be lost for a long moment in the arms of Krosh’s people.
My people. God. They were my people.
Whatever I’d done, I could find away to forgive myself with their help. I just couldn’t let it destroy me until then.
When we broke apart, my cheeks were wet, as were Krosh’s. We stayed together, wounded parts of a whole, and walked to Ellison. ‘Can you make it on your own or do you need us to carry you?’
Same tortured back and forth on his face. Then he spat, “Help.”
The Wydlings gathered him up and Krosh and I brought up the rear, mostly to keep an eye on the wily Skriven in case he decided the hole in his belly didn’t matter and he wanted to wreck havoc. We moved cautiously through the spiders but they offered no menace. I heard Neutria talking to them in the back of my mind, an itch, a buzz, as if a vibrator was pressed to my head. I gritted my teeth and bore it. When I dared peep over my shoulder, they were following.
‘Neutria,’ I said. That’s it. Once I got her name out I wasn’t sure what to ask. All the questions seemed pointless. What do you think you’re doing, was one question but I already knew the answer: whatever the hell she wanted, that’s what. They can’t come with us, I might say. They will, she’d insist, if she said anything at all. ‘Don’t ever block me from my own head again,’ I finally settled on. She didn’t hiss, just tickled my brain with her amusement.
Damned spider.
We found no resistance leaving, and it was like everything had been designed to get us out of there as quickly as possible. The wind shoved us, and the air itself lightened in front of us and thickened behind, until we were almost running to keep from being knocked over. The trip back to Flingway, back to a spot where I could form a hook, was a breeze. Ellison had no color in his face. His breath wheezed and there was a dark black stain that had soaked clean through Krosh’s shirt. The makeshift bandage bulged under Ellison’s cupped arms, and my stomach protested. This time I gave in to it, and emptied the contents of my stomach behind a busted house. Krosh kept near, not clingy but close. He didn’t want to be far from me or his soul, and I couldn’t blame him. It hurt. But it hurt less when he was near.
“Where?” I panted.
“Home.”
“But he’s dangerous.”
“Home, Devany.”
“He has the Rider in him, Kroshtuka. I need to kill him.” My heart rebelled. Jasper was in there. Good, kind Jasper. It wasn’t right. Not at all.
Except. I had to save Liam.
Kroshtuka took my hand. “What did the goddess say? That she owed you. Take him to her. Take your son to her. Find a different way.”
I could, couldn’t I? Take Ellison, take Liam, ask her to fix them both. If they were healed, the Rider threat would go away and I could figure out how to make this new world a home when my kids had only known Earth.
Ellison began to laugh. The fine hairs on my skin rose and I turned to see him standing tall, no gut-holding, no visible wounds. He’d torn away the bloodied shirt and stood straight, tall, and perfectly fine. “I am your Death.”
“You are way too dramatic, is what you are,” I said, fear uncoiling in my muscles. The Rider was in his eyes, black and staring, cold and empty. It laughed at me, delighted in the situation we found ourselves in.
“You thought you were going to beat me, didn’t you? Aw, that’s so cute. Too bad you fouled everything up.” He reared back and thrust his hands at me, at us. I didn’t get the bubble up in time; it had only halfway formed when his magic hit me and blew Krosh and I into the side of a fallen home. The wind left me in a whoosh and wouldn’t return. I sucked, I tried, but couldn’t get anything into my lungs.
Neu
tria slammed to the forefront again, faster this time. She flung magic back at him as she screamed, “Attack!”
The spiders swarmed him until he was covered in multi-colored gumballs with legs and venomous teeth. His screaming began again. Had the Rider retreated to let Jasper and Ellison find themselves under attack? I wouldn’t put it past it.
Neutria had no trouble drawing air into my lungs, taking over the functions of my body with ease.
I pushed her out of the way, back, and she went without fight, which made me suspicious, but I just didn’t have time to think about it. I thumped a cage-like chunk of energy around Ellison and the gumballs, fashioning it like the one Neutria had put me in. Good for the goose, good for the gander. Or make that spider. Whatever. I made it porous so the spiders could get away from him and then asked Neutria to call them off.
She made me wait. Oh yes, that tricksy spider made me wait. To know my place.
Finally she called them off and the spiders fled. Ellison fell to his knees, sobbing. It was in Jasper’s voice that he said, “Kill us, Devany. Please.”
***
I didn’t want to. “Jasper, I—”
“Please.” He was swelling from the bites, his skin rippling as the poison racked through him. Surely the Rider would do something to try to save its host, but if it was planning a grand escape, it was holding its cards close to its vest.
“Krosh?”
His eyes were compassionate as he said, “We kill the animals wounded in the hunt. Kill them quick so they do not suffer.”
But it was Jasper in there, good, sweet Jasper who’d never had anything truly good in his life, who’d never been able to love or laugh freely or pursue his own dreams. “I can’t.”
“You must. Save your son. Put us out of our misery.” Ellison’s voice.
I squeezed my eyes shut, my nose so clogged, I couldn’t catch a good breath unless I opened my mouth. Surely there was some other way. I could take them both to the goddess, right?
