by Ponce, Jen
“Devany! Do it. Please. If ever you were my friend. Do it.” His voice broke and that was my undoing.
I opened up the magic, yanking a shit ton through the space inside me I’d once thought was the heart and fried Ellison and Jasper in one gigantic ball of fire. I hoped it had been hot enough to keep them from suffering much.
I fell to my knees and stared at the black ash remains of a friend and a foe. Jasper and Ellison. Both tormented and ruined by Ravana. Further victimized by the Rider, but that was now a charred memory.
Liam was safe. My sweet baby boy was safe, and I could go home, hold him, and cry, and he would be the only one in his head to hear it.
“Devany?”
I looked up to see Kroshtuka pull something free from the ash. I wanted to warn him, to tell him it would be hot, but the words died on my lips. Two delicately carved animals lay on his palm. A spider and a hyena. When he held them out to me, grief threatened to swallow me whole. Fat drops fell from my cheeks onto the carvings and stained them with my tears. “How?”
“A last gift to you from him.” He kissed me on the forehead. I wanted to sink into him but I stayed upright and straightened away from him, wiping the moisture from my cheeks to no avail.
One shuddering breath in, and then I turned away from the blackened ground—more blackened ground in an already hellish place. “Let’s go home.” I opened up the hook and we all went through together. Except the spiders. When I glanced back to see if they would rush the hook, they’d scattered. ‘Where did they go?’ I asked Neutria, not sure I wanted the answer.
Satisfaction threaded through her words. To wait for their queen.
TWENTY-THREE
We went back to the Dreaming Caves, my heart heavy. It didn’t seem right that Jasper was gone. It seemed empty without him. Not soul-wise, but the world was less now. Kroshtuka hadn’t let go of me, either, and I didn’t blame him. When he was touching me, I felt whole. Not entirely healthy, right? I mean all couples needed their space. I hoped that this feeling would lessen over time, or that I could find my own soul, wherever Amara had hidden it.
I hoped she’d hidden it and not destroyed it.
“I need to check on the kids, make sure they are safe.”
“I know. I’m not sure I can survive without you, though. It isn’t a pleasant feeling, thinking of you far away with half my soul.”
I swallowed and stepped away from him. The minute I did, my body ached. “It isn’t. I need to find a fix.” I took a breath. “Will you come with me? Home?”
He nodded. We clasped hands and the shrieking subsided to a dull throb. No, this couldn’t go on long at all. I couldn’t glue myself to Krosh’s side no matter how much I loved him.
Loved him?
Damn. I did. Damn. “Maybe we need to go to the Slip first. I can look for my soul there.” It hurt to think of going without him, but wasn’t sure it would be safe for him there.
“In between worlds?”
I nodded.
“I wish to ask Lizzie for a blessing first. Will you come?”
Time was weighing heavily on me. I wanted to get home. Who knew how much time had passed for my kids while I was traipsing around here? But I said, “Yes.”
We walked the path to the room in which I’d first met with the Elders. I’d seen Kroshtuka as cock-sure and not a little arrogant. Dead sexy, too, of course. Now I saw the steady strength in him. The kindness. He’d pursued me with a single-mindedness that should have put me off, but I was glad now that it hadn’t. Not all men were monsters. Not all men wanted to hurt women. It was something I had to remind myself often because of the job I did. I saw evidence of the worst of mankind in my work and that skewed my perceptions of all people, like it or not.
Lizzie was waiting, concern etched in the soft lines of her face. She held out her hands and grasped us both. Then she shut her eyes, swaying a bit. “You shared your soul with her?” she asked, finally, her eyes blinking up at Krosh.
“I did.”
She made a noise that I couldn’t interpret. “What’s done is done.” She released us and turned. “Come along, then. We need to finish the job before things go awry.”
“The job?” I asked, not moving an inch, because I knew whatever job she meant us to finish was going to be annoying, trying, or downright screwy-uppy-with-my-lifey.
“Dream Mother, I am going to accompany Devany to the place between worlds. We go to find her soul.”
Lizzie stopped, almost stumbling in her haste to spin back around. “Between? Where the world-walkers abide? No.”
“It matters not whether you like it. I will go because Devany is my mate and I will protect her as she has protected me.”
“You cannot go without completing what you started when you gave her half your soul.”
Krosh looked pained at her words and I put a hand on his shoulder—to reassure him and make myself feel better, to be honest. I said, “I can give it back to you. I survived without my soul before; I can do it again.”
“No. I understand that it cost you, last time. I could not allow it to happen again, when it’s in my power to aid you. Could we have some time to find her soul? The ceremony would bind her to Meat Clan and make it impossible for her to live without us.”
“She is bound to them already. Half-assedly, at least,” Lizzie said, the last a muttered aside.
“I did not know, Dream Mother. I only sought to keep her safe.”
She sighed. “I do know this, Kroshtuka. Your love for her is as plain as the nose on your face. The issue stands, though. And I cannot remove the binding if she still holds your soul.”
We stared at each other, flummoxed, before I said, “If we go to the Slip now, time won’t advance here. I’m sure my soul is hidden there somewhere. Then you won’t have to worry about binding someone like me to the Meat Clan. People have a tendency to die around me.”
Lizzie raised her chin, looking every inch her age. “I want you here, Devany. You are powerful. And that power might be enough to stave off the darkness that’s coming.” Her eyes haunted, she said to Kroshtuka, “Every night, the same Dream. We need her. But understand this, she also needs us. I have not seen a future that ended well for her when it didn’t include the People.”
What had she seen? My death? Destruction? I shivered, leaning into Krosh and feeling thankful for his warmth.
“We will go to the Slip,” Krosh said. “Whether your soul can be found or not, we will return to check on your children, and then come back home so that our Dream Mother can do what she needs to do, to keep our future safe.”
Talk about a big, huge step I didn’t have any control over. “We go to the Slip,” I said, not committing to anything.
“And then we check on your children, and then come back here,” he said again, a thread of what made him the Meat Clan’s leader in his words.
My heart thundered fast in my chest. “Okay.”
I dearly hoped I didn’t live to regret that word.
***
Krosh handled the Slip well. Perhaps it was living in the Wilds, or the ordeal of the Basin and its broken magic, but he didn’t throw up once. Not like my first time. “Show off,” I muttered.
He gave me a small half-smile, the first humor in a long while and I tucked it away in case I didn’t see it any time soon. I took us to the arena, where the tree-like Skriven dwelled. His multitudinous eyes swiveled my way, though over half of them landed on Krosh and not me. “Hello Devany Half-Soul. Why is he here?”
“Because I find myself in a quandry. I don’t have my soul. You wouldn’t happen to know where it is, would you?” I eyed the thing, wondering how I would kick its ass if it ended up needing an ass kicking.
“Even if I did know, why would I tell you?”
“Because I’m like the fricking diva of the Slip? I could hold your spot and you could go on to nevernever land. There wouldn’t be need for a replacement, you could just go.”
It grumbled. “I do not wish to just
go. And your soul is something you don’t need. It makes you vulnerable. Look instead to the ways you could skin this beast alive and drink its blood.”
“I’m not drinking his blood. I might chop you down, though, if you suggest something like that again.”
Its branches whipped about like the Whomping Willow. Then it settled. “I will not help you, Originator.”
“Fine. Say, where are your spawn? Any of them visit me a while back, asking for some change?”
The branches whipped around again but Kroshtuka and I were stepping through my hook. I held onto Amara’s hideyhole in my head and we stepped out in the caldera. The place looked abandoned rather than ominous, the Skriven Amara set to guarding the place gone. We searched around the edges, in the dark, cracked places but found nothing that would indicate where my soul was—if it was even still intact, still around. I cursed long and loud then remembered the key Nephele had held for me, the key to the place where Amara had hidden her souls. I’d left the key in the care of Nex. I opened up a hook and Kroshtuka shook his head.
“What?”
“Look.”
He pointed to a depression in the far wall, one we’d already searched. “Turn your head away and watch it from the corner of your eye.”
I did, letting the hook collapse so I could concentrate. The depression became a door that vanished when I looked at it full on. “I’ll be damned.”
Krosh smiled. “You must learn to see with a hunter’s eyes. Stay still. Watch.”
Yes. You are foolish still. Learn from him.
‘Thanks Mom,’ I said to Neutria but gave Krosh a more sincerely worded bit of gratitude. “So how do we get in if we can’t see it?”
He drew his fingers over my eyes to shut them. “Through our other senses. Come, I will lead you there and you will keep your eyes shut.”
Despite the uneven ground, he led me to the door without any major mishaps, quietly murmuring instructions that I followed without hesitation. Was he using his leader magic on me or was I just that far gone in love with him?
No leader magic. I broke it.
Right, I’d forgotten. Shit again.
My hand touched a warm, greasy wood and my lip curled as I searched for the handle. The metal burned me and I snatched my fingers back. “Ow! Damn woman and her traps. I need the key.” I paused. “And a potholder. Then we can get in.” I kissed Krosh on the cheek. “I’m so glad you’re on my side.”
“As am I. I would not want you as my enemy.”
I slipped my arms around him and hugged him, very glad that all had turned out well. And even if my soul wasn’t behind the door, there were bound to be others I could borrow until then, right?
We hooked to Nex so I could retrieve the key and then back we went to Amara’s. I used my shirt to protect my hand as I fumbled with the key. When I swung the door open, a blast of heat nearly singed off my eyebrows. Krosh, Nex, and I scattered back as lava burbled over the threshold and oozed into the caldera. “What the fuck?” I sent energy streaming into the doorway, trying to push back the molten rock but it passed through it without affecting it in the slightest. “What am I supposed to do?”
“Call her Skriven,” Nex suggested.
We had to move back again as the lava spread and the heat rose. “If I do that, Nex, they’ll grab their souls and challenge me.”
“Do you truly believe so?”
“Yes.” Even though they’d pledged themselves to me, they were still essentially demons. And there were plenty who had jumped the Devany-ship. Those Skriven could show up just as easily as the ones who supposedly liked me.
“Call to your soul,” Krosh said.
I didn’t know how but shut my eyes and dropped down into the control room I barely used anymore. I searched for something that would beckon my essence to me and found a telephone. An old fashioned one, the kind you had to poke your finger into the hole and spin it around to dial. There was only one number on this telephone and it wasn’t even a number: it was the Mobius Strip. I picked up the receiver and dialed.
What would I say if it answered? Good lord this was ridiculous but when the line opened up, elation surged through me. “Come back to me,” I said and then something hit me with the force of a freight train, knocking me back into the wall. I gasped, trying to catch my breath but the cold wind wouldn’t let up—until Krosh stepped between me and whatever it was.
The air died down. I was able to suck some air into my lungs. When I straightened from the wall, I felt whole again. Not fully me, but whole. “What happened?”
He looked as out of breath as I was.
It was Nex who spoke. “I believe he now has part of your soul as well.”
I also felt the familiar flutter of Tom’s soul, and cried in relief.
***
We walked away from each other, testing the connection. I didn’t feel the burning need to be near him that I had before, which was an improvement. I liked the guy, might even love him, but I didn’t want to be addicted to him. Back together again, I gave him a very enthusiastic kiss. “I feel better. Sorry about your soul, but we can figure that out later.”
“This is something the Dream Mother should be able to help us with.” He smiled, rubbing his thumb along the underside of my lip. “I don’t want you to be missing part of who you are.”
“You too. Maybe one of these days we can have a quiet, normal minute together.” I leaned into him, enjoying his warmth and the fullness of myself.
“Soon.” He hugged me close and kissed me on the forehead. We stood like that for a moment more and then he said, “But first we should go to your children.”
Nerves spilled through me at the idea of the meeting between Krosh, Liam, and Bethy, but it was time for them to meet each other. It wasn’t as if I were telling them, “Surprise! It’s your new dad.” I’d never do that to them. I didn’t want to continue to establish a relationship with Kroshtuka without telling them about him, or letting them meet him, either. It felt too much like lying.
“Nex? You want to go back to Tytan’s manse?”
“If you would, please drop me off at Vasili’s hovel. We have struck up a friendship, of sorts.”
Color me surprised. “Sure.” Together we hooked to Vasili’s and saw Nex off, then Krosh and I hooked to my home, to the front hallway specifically. Krosh had hold of my hand, which steadied me.
“All will be well.”
“Right.” I tried to make myself believe it and was almost relieved when Cheeseweed came in, meowing. “Hey, kitty.” She wound around my ankles until I picked her up. “Cheeseweed,” I said to Krosh.
He scratched her under the chin and she purred, her eyes half shut in bliss.
“Come on, let’s find the kids. Or Dad. Weird how quiet it is.” I walked down the hall to the living room and saw dad on the sofa. “Dad?” He didn’t say a word and when I got closer, I saw that his head was bleeding. “Dad!” I knelt beside him, putting Cheeseweed on the floor, and felt for a pulse. It was there, nice and strong. “Dad? Wake up. Come on.” A horrible thought came to me. “Bethy! Liam!” I shoved myself off the floor. “Would you stay here with him? I have to—”
“Go.” Kroshtuka was already kneeling beside him so I darted through the house, searching for my children.
“Bethy! Liam!” Upstairs I ran and searched the kids’ rooms, feeling more panicked by the second. Where the hell were they? Without Dad awake, I had no idea and could feel the horror flush through my body, heating my cheeks, making my stomach burn. I ran down the stairs and then to the basement, looking for my brother or Arsinua.
Nobody.
Back to Dad and Kroshtuka. “Anything?”
Kroshtuka shook his head. “I wonder if he’s been tainted.”
“By the Rider? But it’s dead.” At the look on his face, I shook my head. “It’s dead. Jasper died, Krosh. I killed him. If I did that for no reason ...” Bile burned my throat. “Oh god.”
“Devany?”
“Dad. Thank he
avens. What happened? Where are the kids?”
He blinked at me with a glazed expression. “Arsinua ...”
“Arsinua what?”
His big hand fumbled for mine and gripped me, hard. “She took Bethy.”
Kroshtuka tensed beside me. “There’s magic close by. Let me go see what it is.”
I nodded and watched him leave, unable to think about what my father had just said. Hell, I couldn’t not think about it. “She took Bethany?”
He grunted and tried pushing himself upright. I got my arm behind his shoulders and helped him sit up. He panted like he’d run a mile. “I’m afraid she caught me unaware.”
“She did this to you?”
He shook his head. “Bethy did.”
“What?” I’d shouted it and I clamped my teeth together. “Sorry,” I muttered. “What do you mean?”
“She and Arsinua had a lodestone. Our girl was practicing her magic. Something happened, some sort of slip. It near took my head off and busted the lamp.” Sure enough, the lamp that had been by the TV was on its side in pieces. “It was strange, Devany. Shouldn’t have happened, that much power. She’s got talent, sure, but not really any power. Especially not here. Then she did it again and blasted me on my ass. Knocked Arsinua on her keister too. Then she was up, shaking—Arsinua, I mean—and she said, ‘She needs training, proper training, before she hurts someone.’” He took my hands in his. “Don’t fault her for what she did. Just trying to help.”
“Dad, are you telling me Arsinua kidnapped my daughter and took her to Midia?”
He winced at my tone or maybe it was my word choice. “Kidnapping. That’s such a strong word.”
“That’s because it’s what she did. Arsinua is wanted in Midia by the Witch Council, the same people planning to kill you. And Arsinua just took your granddaughter right into the middle of all that crap.”
“When you put it that way—” He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “We’ll get her back.”
“Did Arsinua hurt you?”
