Watercolor (Dragonfly)

by Moore, Leigh Talbert

  I looked up and tried to reach for him, but he caught my hand. “Will you stop talking?” His blue eyes had softened, and I closed my mouth, waiting. “Now what did you just say?”

  My heart beat so fast it hurt. “I said I love you.”

  He lifted my face to kiss me, and a huge wave of relief rushed through my body. “I heard that part.” His lips curved into the smile that melted me every time. “And it’s about time you said it.”

  “I’ve said it before.” I softly touched his lips, remembering the night at the hospital. “You just weren’t conscious the first time.”

  He caught my hand and kissed my finger before lowering both. “But that’s not what I meant. Did you say you’ve never done it before?”

  I pushed back and looked down, embarrassed. “If you make fun of me, I’m leaving.”

  His laugh was as easy as his smile. “But we’re at your house.”

  “Then I’ll go to your house.” I tried to stand, but he caught my waist.

  “I’ll just come get you.” He pulled me back down against him, and I put my cheek on his bare chest. I couldn’t look at him. My heart was still beating too hard.

  After a few moments, he spoke. “Is that what you said?”

  I nodded, and he leaned back against the wall next to me with an exhale. I slid into his side and under his arm, and we were silent a few moments longer. I chewed my lip, staring at my socks and waiting. Would he leave now? Say it was too much? He couldn’t deal with this?

  “So all that time, you and Jack never—”

  “No.” I didn’t want to go there. With Jack, it had been over. He’d brought me home.

  Julian turned and kissed my head. His arm was across my shoulders. “I don’t care. I just always thought he was the problem.”

  My brow clutched. “In what way?”

  “Like he was why you held back. I thought you missed him or something. And really it was—”

  “I didn’t. I don’t miss him.” These last few weeks had shown me exactly who I missed and just how much. And he was here beside me.

  “C’mon.” He stood and pulled me to my feet then led me over to my bed. “Climb in.”

  I followed him, but my eyes flickered to my door. “Here?”

  He shook his head. “I want to think about this one.”

  My shoulders dropped along with my heart. “You’re not into it now.”

  He shook his head. “It’s not that.”

  “You think I’m weird.”

  “I think you’re great. I just need to think.” He studied my frown and laughed, pulling me close. “Would you trust me here? I have more experience.”

  I sat on the bed and watched as he picked up the large bear I’d thrown on the floor. “And who’s this guy?”

  “Mr. Bear?” I took the stuffed toy and put it back in the corner.

  “Is he trying to take my place?”

  “He might’ve,” I smiled. “But he’s not very good at it.”

  “I’d kick his ass, but I think he outweighs me.”

  Julian sat on the bed facing me, and I looked at my hands in my lap. Now I felt stupid for even saying anything. He reached forward and pushed a curl back. “I missed you.”

  I leaned into his arms, and he hugged me, filling my chest with that familiar warmth. “So we’re not broken up now?” I asked quietly.

  “I’d say no, but you’re the hold-out.”

  “In that case, we’re definitely back together.”

  He kissed my lips, and we slowly lay back on the bed. Then he turned me and pulled me against him, my back to his chest like always. A few minutes went by, and I began to relax as he softly stroked my arm. I felt him chuckle.

  “What?” I tilted my head in his direction. He tightened his arms around me and kissed my cheek.

  “I was just thinking about you in algebra class last year.”

  “And you’re laughing. Thanks.”

  “I’m laughing because I couldn’t get over you.”

  I rolled around to face him. “What does that mean?”

  “Well, there you were with these cute curls and those green eyes, and I was totally diggin it. But you’d come in with your head down, go to your desk and hide behind your algebra book. Like it was your happy place.” He kissed my nose. “I had to ask to borrow your notes every single day to get you to look at me. Then you finally started talking to me.”

  “And who had to repeat algebra?” I pretended to scold. “You should’ve been paying more attention to the teacher.”

  “No way.” He smoothed back my hair. “You were far more interesting. What were you so afraid of?”

  My brows pulled together. “I wasn’t afraid of anything.”

  “But you never looked around. Our desks were right beside each other then too, remember?” I nodded. “And you would not look at me.”

  Chewing my lip, I debated telling him what a massive crush I had on him. How I couldn’t look at him because my face turned beet red whenever I did. How I wanted to die every time he spoke to me, but at the time, my best friend had called dibs. Not that it mattered. Back then, I never believed I had a chance with Julian. It was still a little hard to believe.

  “Have you ever considered I was trying to avoid you?” I teased. “You were always talking to me, and you clearly had no grasp of the subject matter.”

  He rolled me onto my back and kissed me deeply. I felt a familiar flash of desire from my throat down to my toes. As he gently released me, I tried to remember how I’d ever been able to hold back from him. There was nothing like being in his arms, even if it was only until he slipped out again before daylight.

  “What was that for?” I asked, slightly breathless.

  “I loved you then,” he smiled. “And then you got me in the paper and everyone started calling wanting my stuff. I knew we had to be together.”

  “But I didn’t see you that whole summer.” I remembered those days leading up to August, and how he’d disappeared.

  “I was working.” He shrugged. “And I didn’t have any money to take you anywhere.”

  My eyes narrowed. “I know better than that. You were running around.”

  He breathed a chuckle. “I was only seventeen. I might’ve found you, but I wasn’t going to bank on it.”

  “Thanks.”

  “And in August, that first day back, nothing had changed. There you were in the parking lot, clutching your books.” His hand went to my waist and he pulled me closer. “You know you were doing it again these last few days.”

  I couldn’t stop my lips pulling down. “I don’t want to think about these last few days. They’ve been awful.”

  He smiled and kissed my nose. “Yeah, being apart sucked. Bad.”

  I thought about that first day in the parking lot last fall. He’d suggested we go out then, and I’d been stunned and confused—I was sure I’d misunderstood him. Now I knew we probably would’ve gotten together if Jack hadn’t come along. I put my arms around his neck and hugged him close.

  “I was thinking how great it would be if you came to Savannah with me,” he said.

  My arms loosened and I pulled back so I could see his eyes. “But what about college? Is there even a school in Savannah? I mean, other than the art school?”

  “There’s Savannah State University.”

  “Really?” My brow creased.

  “Yes. Really.” He smiled and moved the side of my hair back.

  My eyes blinked around as my mind tripped through the possibilities. “I hadn’t even thought about it.”

  “I know.”

  I lowered my arms feeling guilty. The end of the year had been depressing because I knew we’d be separated. On top of all that, I’d been distracted by his dad and the secret and our growing relationship…

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I really am. I honestly hadn’t wanted to think about college, and then when this thing came through with Loyola… Rachel’s been talking about it so much, I guess it was sort-
of decided in my mind.”

  He nodded. “We never talked about options.”

  I reached forward and slid my finger down his cheek. “You know, if it hadn’t been for all your art school plans, I would’ve completely spaced and just ended up going somewhere around here.”

  “All my art school plans?”

  I nodded. “When I saw how on top of things you were last year, I felt like a slacker.”

  “As in, if the bum who fails algebra is planning for college already…”

  I giggled. “Something like that.”

  We were quiet again, and that heaviness pressed on my chest. I wanted to change everything now. “It’s just so late,” I said, “and I’ve got to have some kind of financial aid or something…”

  “We’ll figure it out.” He leaned forward and brushed a kiss over my lips. I felt a flush of warmth at the gesture. He pulled back and was serious again, looking right in my eyes. “But you’ve got to tell me stuff, Anna. It won’t work if I feel like you’re hiding things from me.”

  I hesitated, chewing my lip, thinking about the biggest secret of all I was hiding. He interrupted my thoughts with another kiss. “I love you,” he whispered.

  “I know,” I whispered back, still distracted.

  He let out a short one-syllable laugh.

  “What?” I blinked to him.

  “Nothing. Get some rest.”

  I turned back into our spooning position. “Oh, and they’re hazel,” I said.

  His mouth nuzzled into my shoulder, sparking a little shiver. “What?”

  “My eyes. They’re hazel.”

  “They’re usually green.”

  “It’s because of the clothes I wear. But if you’re my boyfriend, you really should know the color of my eyes.”

  “Can I call you Hazel?”

  “Not if you expect me to answer.”

  He laughed and pulled me closer. I smiled and snuggled into his arms. It was so wonderful to have him back.

  Chapter 18

  The next morning, he was gone. I quickly flipped over and grabbed my phone, scrolling to his face.

  A groggy voice spoke on the other end. “Hello?”

  “I love you!” I said.

  “What time is it?” Julian asked, but I could hear him smile.

  “I have no idea.” I closed my eyes and imagined he was still here. “But I love you.”

  He laughed then, and I beamed. “What are you doing today?” I asked.

  “Mmm… Church?”

  My eyes popped open. “Seriously?”

  “No.” I heard him breathe, and it sounded like he was getting up. “Mom’s already left.”

  “She goes?”

  “Every weekend, Saturday or Sunday mass.”

  My brow furrowed as I thought about that. “I wonder if she sees Lucy and B.J.”

  “They go?” It sounded like he opened and closed a drawer. “They probably go to St. Thomas. It’s way closer to Hammond Island.”

  “Maybe. But Lucy spends a lot of time with B.J. now.” I couldn’t tell him his mother wouldn’t be disappearing so much if Lucy were staying at home.

  “Well, I’m meeting Blake to help him finish up that truck he’s working on. Want to come?”

  “Nope.”

  He laughed, and I threw back my covers. Knowing he’d be away from home, I felt like it was my chance. “Is your mom’s shop going to be open today?”

  “Not til after lunch. You planning to drop by?”

  I pulled open a drawer and pulled out my cargo capris. “Maybe. I don’t know. Hey, have fun with Blake. And I love you!”

  I heard him smiling. “I know, I know.”

  I grinned and hung up the phone. This was perfect. I could go over, shop, and try to convince his mother that the best graduation gift she could give her son would be the truth.

  Ms. LaSalle’s store was full of shoppers and crafters when I arrived. Spring break was the start of high season, and all the shops and streets would get busier and more crowded through September.

  When I walked in, she smiled cautiously at me, but I gave her a friendly grin in response and she relaxed. I didn’t want her to be on guard when we talked, and apart from Julian’s art reception, it was the first time we had been alone since our confrontation with Mr. Kyser. That was when she’d offered to do the story with Nancy, and I’d promised never to tell Julian what I knew.

  I walked around the shop looking at the beautiful hand-made jewelry hanging on little pegs. Julian had been stringing a turquoise necklace the last time I was here, and he’d made a comment about this place being overwhelming to some people. I was definitely one of those people. I preferred the other side of the store that held the local art and unique souvenirs. I was definitely at a loss when it came to jewelry making. Too many choices and little pieces.

  Ms. LaSalle, however, was in her element, leaning over the group of ladies, who were clearly together, and helping them with their final decisions on necklaces and earrings. Her dark hair was swept up in a high ponytail that hung in a single fat braid down her back. Occasionally, it slid around her shoulder, and as usual, she appeared so beautiful and young. I imagined Mr. Kyser must be in heaven now that they were back together.

  After a few minutes, the clutch of shoppers had made their decisions and were settling up. They collected their receipts and walked to the door calling back to Ms. LaSalle with delighted exclamations and promises to return again soon. She smiled and waved goodbye. Then she walked over to where I was standing.

  “Hey, Anna,” she said. “Sorry I couldn’t really talk earlier.”

  “Oh, that’s okay,” I smiled, putting the necklace I’d been holding back on a peg. “I know how it is.”

  Her expression was curious, but guarded. “I think Julian’s down at Blake’s.”

  I nodded. “I talked to him this morning.”

  “You two are getting closer it seems. Julian never really talked about anyone before he met you.”

  My heart filled at her words. “I think… I… well. I love him.”

  I’d never said it to a person’s parent before—I’d never said it to anyone—and I wasn’t sure how she was going to respond. She simply blinked a little smile. “So are you looking for something?”

  “Not really,” I said, not wanting to tell her I was looking for her.

  She looked around, and only two people were now in the store. “Well, I’m ready for a break. Want to walk down to the beach with me?”

  “Yes!”

  “Cheryl?” she called to the girl behind the register. “Will you be okay if I just step out for a few minutes?”

  “Oh, sure, Ms. Lex.”

  We turned and walked toward the door. I followed her down the ramp that led to the parking lot and then across the two-lane beach road. We quickly dashed through the parking lot of an old condominium development and through the posts blocking the pavement from where the sand began. Ms. LaSalle kicked off her sandals and strolled out to the water with me close behind her.

  “It’s a perfect day,” she smiled, crossing her arms over her chest. “If a little chilly.”

  I fell in beside her walking east at the water’s edge.

  “So what’s up, Anna? I get the feeling something’s on your mind.”

  My hands got clammy, and I wasn’t sure how to start with what I wanted to say. “I guess I should forget a career in poker,” I said.

  “Well, you’re not shopping, you’re not looking for Julian…”

  “Promise you’ll hear me out and not get angry?”

  “Nope.”

  I exhaled a nervous laugh. “Will you try?”

  She glanced at me and pursed her lips. “What is it?”

  “Well, I told you I love Julian,” I started carefully.

  “So do I.” Her voice adopted that sharp tone I knew very well, but I had to push past her walls.

  “Right,” I said. “But I bet he talks to me more now. I mean, just because we’re together a lot
and all.”

  “And?”

  “And well, I was just wondering if you’ve thought anymore about telling him the truth.”

  “No.”

  Her tone silenced me for a second. It was her same old response, the same one she’d used with me, the one I’d heard from her at Mr. Kyser’s house. And if she wouldn’t give in to him. After that…

  “I know you love Julian. I do.” I wasn’t sure how she would take what I was about to say. “But, Ms. LaSalle, he really needs to know his dad. It’s bothering him. It’s on his mind a lot, and it’s starting to affect his confidence.”

  Her brow creased, and I could tell she was ready to defend. “Julian is the most confident kid I know.”

  “He acts that way, but the truth is, he feels…” What was the right word? “Insecure about things.”

  “Like what?” She didn’t believe me.

  I thought about the day last fall, when he’d said his dad never gave a shit. I remembered that night after his show, how he’d doubted everything. “Like his future… His art.”

  She stopped walking and crossed her arms. “How would knowing his father matter to his art?”

  “I don’t know. But he said to me that he was feeling like… like he was a nobody.”

  She smiled and dropped her arms, walking again but at a slower pace. “All artists go through that when they’re starting out. He’ll get through it, and once he’s in Savannah, everything’ll change for him.”

  “I’m sure you’re right for the most part, but there’s his classmates, too.”

  She stopped walking again. “Do kids make fun of him?”

  “No! Not at all, but some of the guys make comments about you, and—”

  “About me?”

  “Not anything rude,” I stammered. “Actually, they’re very complimentary. Saying they want to ask you out and stuff.”

  She seemed to relax. “Boys like to talk big. Your mother’s very pretty. They probably say things like that about her, and your father is clearly identified.”

  I raised my eyebrows remembering Julian used to be Mom’s most vocal fan. This conversation was not going how I’d wanted. “But Ms. LaSalle—”