Still Human jh-2

by Kerry Heavens

  “Are we having a baby?” he asks as he lets me up for air, his eyes shining with unexpressed emotion.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  The others gather around us and I’m aware of congratulatory hugs and kind words, but, after Danny, my main focus is Jen. Our eyes meet. She’s crying, but they’re happy tears. There’s not a trace of resentment in her eyes and I know then that she is a true friend to Danny. Only the most pure friendships can withstand such landslide moments and she is unquestioningly happy for us. I smile at her and she smiles back. Danny lets go of me for a second and grabs her and I watch while they share this fantastic news together. Max envelops me in his arms.

  “I’m so proud of you,” he whispers. “Congratulations.” I wipe my eyes as Danny turns back to me and Max relinquishes me to my husband.

  “When did you find out?” Danny asks.

  “Today. I’m due on in a couple of days, but I feel different, my jeans are tight. I’ve felt like it for a week. So I did a test.” I gasp as he slides his hand over my stomach. We’ve had some heartbreakingly tender moments over the years, but this tops them all, hands down.

  A tear rolls down his cheek. “Thank you,” he says. I smile softly.

  “You see why I think we should do this now?” I say quietly to him while everyone else is giving us a little distance for our moment.

  “Yes.” He sniffs. Then he smiles. “You are a very special person, you know? You don’t even stop to savour your own moment without thinking of someone else.”

  After we have composed ourselves, Jen suggests tea and coffee as we are unprepared and have no champagne. I help her make it. For a minute or two we work in silence and then I catch Jen looking at me.

  “I’m so happy for you,” she says .

  “I know you are,” I say and hug her.

  “I just…I don’t want you to think I’m just saying it. I’m so happy for you both, you will make wonderful parents. This is Danny’s dream, I love him, I know you understand that, so you must know that I wouldn’t have to fake this.”

  “I do, I get it. Thank you.” We hug again. This is fast becoming emotionally exhausting!

  After a pretty heavy afternoon, we all relax and digest the new turn in our lives. I watch in awe as Jen and Danny make us all dinner. They move around the kitchen like they are two parts of the same whole. They are so in sync and their bodies touch with practiced ease, it warms my heart and makes me feel smug at the same time. I doubt many spouses could stomach it. Scott is an understanding guy and came into this knowing their friendship…and me, well, just as I’m watching, Max comes up behind me, wrapping me in his arms and kisses my cheek. We’re just…different…and today has proved just how different we really are.

  Weary from an emotional and mind-bending day, we all turn in early. Tomorrow, Danny has his blood tests and will make his first donation. I sigh contentedly as I flop onto the bed. Danny closes the door behind him and stands watching me. I look up to see what he’s doing after there is silence for a minute and realise that he’s just staring. I raise up onto one elbow to look at him properly and he moves towards me, not breaking the intense stare, he drops to his knees beside the bed.

  He continues holding my gaze as he gently runs his hand across my midriff. It still makes me gasp even though he’s been doing it repeatedly all afternoon. I guess it’ll just take a while to sink in for both of us. He’s asked me how I’m feeling about fifty times and I haven’t lifted a finger since I told him, giving me some insight into how he’s going to be for the next eight to nine months. I honestly expected him to insist on carrying me the few feet to our guest room, fortunately, he let me walk.

  Still with his hand on my stomach, he turns his eyes there too. I don’t know what he thinks he will see, but the look on his face is pure joy and I won’t take that away from him. I stroke my fingers through his hair and just watch him, lost in his moment.

  He blinks and returns his eyes to mine, a smile lighting his face. “Are you feeling okay?” he asks again softly.

  “Yes!” I giggle, a slight amused exasperation apparent in my tone. “I feel fine. Are you okay?”

  He nods and that look of delirious joy comes over him again. I burst out laughing.

  “What?” He frowns, although even that looks giddy with happiness, which makes me laugh harder. “Hey, what?”

  “I blindsided you!” I laugh, pumping my fists in the air. “I did it!’

  He laughs. “You did.” He smiles with adoration. “You really did. Thank you.”

  “You've made me so happy,” he whispers.

  I woke this morning with Danny in my arms, exactly as he fell asleep. I stare at him, his peaceful face, utterly relaxed, the past few days he has been the happiest I've seen him. He’s getting used to the idea that we have our dream come true and now that he is actively doing something to help Jen, he feels so much better. He has made a couple of donations so far. His last one for this trip is today. Unable to resist, I kiss his forehead and he stirs. We both stretch and he immediately reaches for me and then opens his eyes when he realises we are pressed together already.

  “Morning.” I smile, snuggling into him tighter.

  “Morning. How are you feeling?” His now standard question.

  “Great thanks, stop worrying. You’ll be the first to know if I start feeling sick.”

  “I know, I just want to take care of you.”

  “Grace didn’t get morning sickness, neither did my mum, it could be a genetic thing. I might be lucky.”

  “My mom got so sick, it’s the main reason I’m an only child,” he says regretfully. “I hope it’s not genetic, I could have just cursed you to a full nine months of not being able to stomach anything.”

  “Well I feel fine so far, let’s just hope this baby has my genes.”

  “That is what I’m hoping. She’ll be perfect just like her mom.”

  “She?” I frown.

  “Um, I don’t know, that just came out,” he says embarrassed. “I don’t care, as long as you are both okay.”

  He squeezes me tight, this is still so hard to get used to; I feel almost silly claiming to be something as monumental as pregnant. Apart from tight jeans and an odd feeling of my body being on overdrive at times, I really don’t feel any different. I feel like a bit of a faker. I even secretly did the spare pregnancy test yesterday to make sure. It was definitely positive. We’ve decided not to tell anyone else yet though. It’s not my normal MO. I’m all for full disclosure, but with this whole Jen thing going on, it might be best if we wait. Nobody knows we aren't even properly married, what's one more secret?

  But we’re fixing the marriage thing, we’re flying to Vegas today.

  “We should get organised,” I murmur, trying to ignore Danny’s insistent lips on my neck.

  “Really?” He tries his husky whisper on me.

  “Really...Or don’t you want to marry me?”

  “I’d marry you every day if I could. But I just want five more minutes in bed with you first.” He slides his hand up my camisole and caresses the sensitive skin under my breast.

  “Okay, if you think five is all it will take, I’ll get the cup.” I smirk.

  “Shit.” Danny huffs, rolling over.

  I sigh and turn to him. “I know it’s been full-on, but you only have to do it one more time before we go, then you’re all mine.” He just has one last appointment before we leave, but I think he’s starting to feel like a performing monkey, although he would never say it.

  He turns suddenly and pins me beneath him. “I just want inside you.” He growls, kissing me hard.

  I smile against his lips and he begrudgingly releases me. “You can have me any way you want me when we get to Vegas,” I purr.

  He raises his eyebrows. “Any way…?” I laugh and push him off me.

  “Come on, you have a date with a cup!”

  Danny groans.

  The afternoon sun on the strip is intense and so is the heat. You can never
underestimate the cooling effect of being near the sea and out here in the desert, everything is so exposed. We pull into the Bellagio and our bags are loaded onto a bellhop’s trolley and my wedding dress, kindly flown out by Max and Charlie, is placed on top. I can’t wait to wear it again. Once we’ve checked in, Danny and I leave the guys and hop in a taxi to the Marriage Bureau, to get our marriage licence. I've been good and I haven't asked a lot of questions. I know Danny has fixed everything and I'm loving the freedom. I've been told the wedding will be happening tomorrow evening. So for now, we head back to the hotel and shower before meeting up for dinner.

  The Bellagio buffet is extraordinary, then we hit the strip. I must say I never expected to spend my first trip to Vegas sober and watching both what I eat and how I take care of myself. But Jen is taking it easy, so that makes it easier. We do a whistle-stop tour of Caesars, The Mirage and Treasure Island, in the warm evening air, stopping at all the attractions. This place is like a giant Disney for adults; it’s great fun. We go back towards the Bellagio on the other side of the strip and call in at the Venetian to wander around the canals and take a gondola ride, then after stopping briefly in Paris, we cross back and watch the fountains do their show before retiring to our hotel for the night. We walk through the casino with only mild interest and stroll through Via Bellagio window shopping the designer boutiques, then settle in at the Lily Bar for a nightcap.

  Exhausted, I smile at Danny laughing with his friends. He smiles softly back at me and finishes his drink.

  “I think I’m going to take my beautiful wife up to bed,” he says finishing his drink.

  “She’s not officially your wife yet buddy,” teases Scott.

  “Hey, watch your mouth!” Danny snipes back with a wry smile, but I can tell he’ll be happier tomorrow when Scott can’t say a word. “Ready?” He offers me his hand and pulls me out of the oh-so-comfy seat.

  We say our goodnights and find the lifts. I really am tired, it hit me like a ton of bricks as soon as we stopped moving. I stifle a yawn as we wait and Danny wraps his arm around me.

  “Tired?” he asks, trying to conceal his real question, it’s been days.

  I nod as we step into the waiting lift. I see his shoulders sag slightly from the corner of my eye and smirk. I may be on the verge of sleep, but for him, I’ll always find reserves. As soon as the doors close, I turn to him, deliberately and quite aggressively palming his crotch as I probe his lips with my tongue. He groans, surprised and overwhelmed, gasping when I break my seal of his mouth. “Jesus.” He rasps while I tease him through his trousers. The lift dings and I turn away from him, allowing him to pull me close to cover his obvious erection.

  I nod at the older couple who join us in the lift and Danny does his best to look un-phased, bless him. He has his arms slung casually around my waist and my hands rest over his, only I can hear his laboured breathing as he pants softly in my ear. The couple are to our right and slightly forward, so I press Danny further into the back wall and swivel my hips against him.

  “Fuck,” he whispers.

  I turn and give him an innocent peck on the cheek. The lady beside me smiles, warmed by our ‘young couple in love’ cuteness. Maybe she wouldn’t be so amiable if she could see the rock-hard bulge pressing against my arse and my wandering hand, the one she can no longer see, teasing Danny into near insanity.

  He sucks air in sharply between his teeth and grunts slightly when I grasp him almost too firmly. He tries to cover it with a cough, but the man has already glanced at him.

  “Please.” Danny begs almost silently. He’s begging me to stop in front of these people, but the edge in his voice is also pleading me to keep it up. I don’t think he’d even be able to say which he really means, but I do ease up…a little.

  The lift stops at our floor and Danny muscles me out, still clamped to my back. The couple eye us suspiciously, I’m near hysterical.

  “Are you trying to get me arrested?” he growls, I laugh but he shuts me up by pressing me into the wall as the doors finally close. His mouth on mine settles my giggles and his iron crotch digging in to me reminds me that I’ve started something that needs to be finished. On the other side of us the lift dings as the other car arrives on our floor, worried that it could be our friends, Danny hustles us along the corridor to our room.

  While he fumbles for the key card, I turn in his arms to face him and glance beyond him. It’s just a couple of guys making their way down the corridor towards us, I wrap my arms around his neck and draw him in to a kiss, not caring if strangers see. All the while he is still trying to engage the card in the lock. The men mumble some crass comment as they pass and finally I hear the lock click behind me.

  “Thank fuck!” Danny gasps picking me up and hoisting my legs around his waist. He steps through the door, his mouth on mine and bumps me against the wall of the entrance hall while he kicks the door shut behind him.

  “Are you going to fuck me into another hotel wall?” I ask.

  “I’m tempted.” He says breathlessly, kissing and biting all of my exposed skin. “But I haven’t been inside you in days…” His teeth capture my bottom lip and I groan. “…And I want it to last more than thirty seconds.”

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Danny.

  You’re everything to me.

  Lying awake behind her, I stroke my hand lightly across her stomach and leave it in place. I shake my head at myself as I bite back tears, again! This keeps happening, surely it should be Liv overcome with emotion, I can’t even blame hormones. But the last few days, whenever she sleeps I lie awake and do this. This morning, the Las Vegas sunshine woke me as we forgot to close the drapes after…God, that was amazing last night.

  She gave me head in front of the floor-to-ceiling window of our room overlooking the Bellagio fountains. If they attracted the usual crowd, we most definitely had an audience. I suppose the windows are probably tinted, but not knowing for sure didn’t stop her. Then when I bent her over the desk beside the window, it didn’t stop me either.

  I pull my mind away from thoughts of last night before I start thinking about waking her up. She is so beautiful sleeping. It’s just so unreal. This thing I’ve wanted since I was so young, since before the knowledge of what I wanted was even fully formed. She’s here in my arms and I can’t believe it. She is the love of my life, she’s taken me back, she loves me exactly like I love her, she is my wife and now she has made it all real, she is having my baby.

  I give her a gentle squeeze and she stirs.

  “Whoa, it’s bright.” She winces burying her face in the sheets.

  I chuckle. “We forgot to close the drapes after your little show,” I tease, kissing the back of her neck.

  “My little show? What about you? You actually swept stuff off the desk!”

  “Sorry, next time I’ll just let you get the brochure stuck to your face.”

  “Hmmm, next time, when will that be?”

  I laugh as she turns to me, still squinting at the bright light, but I know that look. “You are insatiable.” I grin, kissing her. I’m the luckiest man alive.

  “I’ve missed it that’s all, I’ve been sharing you with a cup for the last week.”

  “Well, I’m all yours now.” I move over her and press against her until she groans. I nudge her knees apart and sink straight into her. She moans loudly and pulls me down on top of her, our bare skin pressing together as I start to move. Her fingers dig into my back, keeping me close while she raises her hips to meet me. I start to worry that I’m putting too much weight on her and I hesitate for a second giving my thoughts away.

  “You were thinking about the baby again weren’t you?” She sighs, throwing her hands back against the pillow in frustration.

  Last night when we burst through the door, I had only one thing on my mind, fuck her hard. But the now constant thought in the back of my mind stopped me.

  She is carrying our baby.

  I’m realistic enough to know that sex w
on’t do her or the baby any harm, but she’s also delicate. I have to take care of her, I can’t go throwing her around. But as hard as I try to be rational about nothing changing, I start feeling like the word ‘fuck’ should no longer be applied, she’s growing a child inside her, my child, she should be revered, not fucked. She busted me thinking it last night and gave me a stern talking to. She’s right, I just have to find the balance.

  I’m processing all of this when I realise Liv is still looking at me.

  “Danny, don’t you go all weird on me.”

  “I’m not weird, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I’m fine,” she says firmly. We’re about to lose the moment and I don’t want that to happen.

  “Good,” I say, leaning forward and kissing her with enough force that she lets out a sound of pleasure. While my tongue reminds her that I know she can take it, I press forward inside her and she moans again into my mouth. I grab her wrists and hold them together above her head, pressing them into the bed with my weight while I pick up the pace. She gets really into it and is pushing against my hands, not struggling, just testing. It feels amazing, holding her down, invading her mouth with my tongue and owning her everywhere else as well.

  She groans when I let her breathe and then she kind of yells involuntarily when I shift slightly changing the angle of the friction between us. “Shhh!” I hiss, aware that Max and Charlie are next door and while that didn’t stop us last night, it’s early and sound will carry further in the quiet of the morning. Liv gives me a flick of her eyebrows, a challenge, like she’s saying, if I want her quiet, I’ll have to shut her up, then with an impish grin she moans loudly again. I flash back to that night in her parents’ guest room. She got really turned on when I made her shut up, maybe she wants me to do that again.

  I push into her harder than before and she moans, “Shhh,” I whisper. She moans again. “Quiet!” I say with as much authority as I can muster. “I’ll have to stop if you can’t keep it down." In response, she does a kind of hip swivel that nearly has me shouting out. “Fuck,” I manage to say quietly. Then, still holding her hands captive, I slip my free hand between us and touch her in a way I know can only result in her being loud.