Still Human jh-2

by Kerry Heavens

  Liv

  “I was just imagining them…”

  “Oh don’t, I was fighting that mental image.” He cringes.

  “No, but just think of how exciting this is for them.” I point out as Danny winces again.

  “Please stop telling me to think of them. I’ll never be able to get it out of my head.” He laughs, but shifts me off him. “Can we put the TV on or something before I start freaking out.” He shudders.

  “Oh stop being a baby!” I laugh. Grabbing the remote and scooting under the covers. “What do you fancy?” I ask casually. “Knocked up? Nine months? Oooh, what about What to expect when you’re expecting?” I tease.

  He narrows his eyes and presses his lips together, suppressing the smirk. “You’re evil,” he says, getting in bed beside me.

  “Come on, laugh. This is quite funny and the more positive we are about it, the easier it will get.”

  “It’s just…” He shudders again. “THAT bit of me…it’s IN…THAT bit of her.” Another shudder. “I know I didn’t put it there, but it’s there. That’s weird isn’t it?” His face twists in disgust. “I’d imagined myself blissfully oblivious when it happened. Not sat here waiting for their Skype call.” He pulls the sheet over his head and starts rocking, hugging his knees. I’m beside myself by this point, hysterical and no help whatsoever.

  “Thanks for your support!” he says huffily from under the covers.

  “Oh don’t! I have to pee!” I leap up and run to our bathroom. The new house certainly has its advantages. Right now, my favourite thing is the number of bathrooms at my disposal, because this baby took up residence on my bladder about six weeks ago and seems to like it there.

  When I come back into the bedroom, Danny is still rocking under the covers. I pull them back and he grimaces.

  “I don’t think I can talk to them, can you just tell them I had to run to the bar?”

  “No! It’s you they want to tell.” I wrap my arms around him and nuzzle his neck.

  “Hmmm, that’s nice.” He sighs.

  I drop a kiss behind his ear where he likes it. He rolls his head to the side, a clear invitation, which I accept, scraping my teeth on his earlobe. He groans and has me on my back in two seconds flat.

  He stares at me and touches the end of his nose to mine. His lips curl into a tender smile that melts my heart. Then he raises his eyebrow and smirks as he presses himself against me.

  Just then his laptop trills from the end of the bed.

  “Oh for the love of…” Danny strops and drops down beside me.

  I pat his shoulder. “Get used to it babe, because in a few days this little one will be calling all the shots.”

  “Ugh!” He groans, adjusting himself.

  I grab the laptop and settle it on my knees and Danny yanks the sheet over his head, beside me.

  “Hello!” I say happily as Jen and Scott appear on my screen.

  “Hey!” they both reply in unison.

  “Where’s Danny?” Jen asks.

  “Being a big baby.” I laugh, elbowing him.

  He waves his hand outside the sheets and I pull them off him.

  “Hi,” he says reluctantly.

  “Oh there he is,” says Scott. “The man who just tried to knock-up my wife!” He shakes his head slowly. “People have been trying to tell me for years it would happen, but would I listen?”

  Danny groans and tries to cover himself back over. I don’t let him, while Jen tells Scott off for teasing.

  “So how did it go?” I ask Jen, Trying to ignore the boys

  “Great!” She grins. “It all went smoothly, so now we just wait.”

  “And you can find out in a couple of weeks?”

  “Yeah, but we aren’t getting our hopes up. We know the odds, so we’re just trying to put it out of our minds.”

  “Oh Jen, it will work, I just know it, we will get there eventually.”

  “Eventually,” she says. “It’s a long road. But thank you.” Then she speaks just to Danny. “Thank you for what you’ve done, I’ll never forget it.”

  Danny smiles and nods. He kisses his fingers and touches the screen and Jen does the same. I love watching the two of them together and it breaks my heart that it has to be via Skype most of the time. They still talk almost every day, but at times like this, they need to see each other. But I’m so close to my due date Danny refused to go when I suggested it. Still, they will be here soon. They’re coming to meet the little nugget.

  Epilogue

  Danny

  “Sssssshhhhh!” I softly whisper as I place her on my shoulder and rub her back to soothe her. “Let Mommy sleep.”

  I pull the bedroom door closed quietly behind me and take her downstairs so that Liv can get a little more rest. She was up half the night. I rock back and forth while I try and work the damned coffee machine one-handed. Fuck this, I’m getting us some instant later! I don’t care what she says, you NEED coffee when you have a baby and this machine is not a one-hander!

  “Let me help you with that,” Jen whispers from behind me.

  “Oh, hey,” I reply a little louder, kissing her cheek. Liv and I are trying not to do the whole tip-toe thing and while she’s sleeping on one of us you can be as loud as you want, she never stirs.

  Jen makes the coffee and I sit at the counter having my snuggle. I love the mornings when she lies awake after her first feed. I can watch her for hours. But this morning she just wanted to be held and then she went right back to sleep. I’m only too happy to oblige.

  “Couldn’t sleep?”

  Jen wrinkles her nose. I give her a tight smile. She can do a pregnancy test today. US time, so not until this evening here, but it’s bothering her. Every month before now, they knew it wasn’t likely, but this is the real deal, if it doesn’t work, which it probably won’t, it will start to make her wonder if it ever will.

  “So did you decide yet? That poor kid needs a name, you can’t keep calling her Nugget, she’ll get a complex.”

  I laugh. “Um, yeah I did actually, it came to me in the night, we’ll just have to see if Liv likes it when she gets up.”

  “If it isn’t on the shortlist, I’m going to kill you, just pick one, don’t make it harder!”

  “It’s not, but trust me, it’s the one. You’ll see.”

  She shakes her head in despair.

  “See what?” Liv’s voice surprises me.

  “Hey, I wanted you to sleep in,” I say as she strokes Nugget’s hair and bends to kiss me.

  “Well I woke up and you were all gone. I missed you.”

  I look at her expectantly and she grins. I left the baby name book open on her nightstand with a note saying ‘Strong, graceful, flexible, can withstand anything.’

  She looks at Nugget asleep on my shoulder and then nods. “It’s perfect,” she whispers and kisses the top of her head softly, lingering to smell her hair.

  “Shall I start breakfast?” I ask, carefully passing Nugget to her.

  “Yeah, I’ll text Max.”

  Thirty minutes later, Jen and I are preparing to serve up breakfast and Max is cooing over Nugget…I must stop calling her that! Charlie and Scott are trying to figure out the sound system. Liv comes down after her shower looking spectacular in jeans and my Guns ’n’ Roses T-shirt. Her hair is all piled up except a couple of strands that have already fallen. I watch her. She is flawless, perfect…

  “Danny?”

  “Huh?”

  Jen grins. “I said, where do you keep table mats? You’re in your own world.”

  “Sorry, down there.” I point to the cabinet beside her. I finish piling the bacon onto a serving dish and carry it to the table.

  We all sit down to eat and of course Nugget just wants to be held…and what can I say? I’m a sucker for my princess, so I wander around with her sleeping on my shoulder until she properly settles then keep her with me when I sit down. Liv serves my food and cuts up the bacon for me and I eat with just my fork. We have this down n
ow!

  “So come on then, the suspense is killing me!” Jen suddenly exclaims. “What are you calling her?”

  Liv looks at me and I wait for her to say something.

  “I’m happy,” she says. “I love it.”

  “Really, you’re sure? You don’t want to go back to the list?” Everyone groans. “Okay, okay! Settle down.” I absently stroke Nugget’s back…Ah! No more Nugget! Okay, here goes then…

  “It just came to me in the night. It’s perfect, it’s so us.” I look over at Liv and she smiles. “We’re calling her Willow.”

  “I love it!” says Max. “Of course! God, I’m annoyed I didn’t think of that. It’s perfect.”

  “It means strong, graceful and flexible, and hopefully she’ll be like our tree and be able to survive all the storms,” I explain.

  “It’s beautiful!” Jen sobs. I didn’t realise she was emotional and frown.

  “Jen, don’t cry…”

  Scott puts his arm around her and tells her she’s so silly, but I can see there is more to her emotions than just Willow’s name.

  “Jen?” I say quietly.

  She looks up at me and tries to smile. “It’s nothing,” she says. “Just hormones.”

  Everyone else is discussing the name and its meaning and I just stare at Jen in disbelief.

  The corner of her mouth curls up in a smile and I know. I glance at Scott…for the love of God man…notice what she just said!

  “Wait? Hormones?” he suddenly says.

  Jen grins through the tears and ‘doing a Liv’, pulls a pregnancy test out of her pocket.

  Scott’s face is vacant for a second while he stares at the stick, then the lights come back on. “Baby, is this for real?” he asks with a slightly desperate edge to his voice.

  “It’s for real,” she says

  He pulls her up out of her chair and into his arms and kisses her as if they’re completely alone.

  “I love you,” he whispers.

  “I love you, too.” She laughs, through tears.

  She turns to us and the room goes crazy, everyone is up and congratulating them. Breakfast is forgotten.

  I just sit and stare.

  We did it!

  WE DID IT!

  With Nugget…fuck it!...with Willow still snuggled into my neck, I get up and go to them. Liv and Jen are both crying and hugging and I can hear Jen thanking Liv. Liv waves it off, but Jen insists that while I’ve given them this gift, it’s because Liv supported me that it was possible, and she’s right.

  Scott turns to me. We lock eyes for a second. I can see the appreciation there, but I really don’t want to discuss it, he’s going to be a father at last, I have no place in his moment. So I hold out my hand and he shakes it and smiles.

  “Congratulations man.”

  “Thank you,” he replies and pulls me in for a guy hug. “Thank you,” he says again before we break apart. I pat him on the shoulder.

  Then Jen turns to face me and, through the happy tears, she laughs. She slips her hands around my waist and I fold her in my free arm. She lays her head on my chest beside Willow and I feel her relax.

  I kiss the top of her head and she looks up at me and smiles.

  “I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you,” she says quietly.

  “No thanks necessary.”

  “But what you did…”

  I shake my head. “It’s me who needs to thank you. I owe you everything.”

  “You owe me nothing.” She frowns.

  “Really? If it wasn’t for you, my stubborn ass would still be living in LA pretending to be happy. Jen, you made me see sense over and over. You pushed me to do the right thing even though you knew it would mean you would lose out. You never once said stay because I’ll miss you. You know that’s all it would have taken too, but you gave me up to make sure I was happy. I wouldn’t have any of this if it wasn’t for you. So, thank you.”

  She sighs and smiles. “You are happy aren’t you?”

  “Happy doesn’t even cover it.” I laugh.

  I pull her closer and hold her. She lets me have my moment because she knows what I feel for her and how hard being apart can be, but she smiles and I do too. She has her life and I have mine, she rescued me when I was drowning more times than I can count and I finally feel like I've paid her back. I wish we could always be around each other. I wish I could look in her eyes and see her smile and have her with me every day, but I can’t. Instead I’ve left some of me with her…and that’s forever.

  It isn't perfect, they’re too far away, but I have Liv and Willow, my world. And I’m unbelievably happy.

  Acknowledgements.

  My thanks remain much the same for this book as they were for the last, because I wrote them back to back.

  To Steve and my babies, I am eternally grateful for your patience and understanding over the past year. I know I haven't always been easy to live with, but I am trying. I love you and nothing makes me happier or more proud than you.

  I know I have neglected everyone while I have been making this happen and I know how lucky I am to have such an understanding family. I love you.

  To my ever-forgiving friends, I haven't forgotten about you. I know we are all busy, but I have been truly appalling! Thank you for not writing me off.

  To my Scaries, for your unwavering support during the release of Just Human, I will be forever grateful. Your beta comments have once again made this book better than it was and just having you in my life has made me so happy.

  Kat, I can't wait for the day when we can sit, drinking 'C&C' and talking 'A' together. I am so happy to finally be able to talk about MY Sinners with you. Just know, we will be discussing them in detail once the drinks finally flow.

  Ava, I hope you have your granny trolley ready, November is almost here and we will be able to meet for real. I hope you are not actually as much of 'a lady' as you claim; I may need you to look after me!

  Kelly, I want to sit on your deck and eat your pie! That's all I ask really, I wait patiently for the day! I'll always be around to scoop up the mush you turn to when certain people talk to you on TL

  Stacy, I'm so glad we overcame your clit issues! The books are better for it. I long for the day when I can sit and listen to your crickets. Narcissistic assholes! Maybe you can take me to Costco too. Your late night VMs always make me smile on a Sunday morning, more please!

  Puff, you work too much, but when you do pop up, you have me in stitches every time. You use many of my favourite four letter words, but a simple HURR and I'm gone! You can drunk dial me any day.

  Dana, your 'exuberance and passion' (read: crazy) is so infectious, you fire us all up. I can't wait to eat pie with you and waffles and skittles and cronuts and Mexican and ...notice how its all about food? Anyway, I can't wait!

  I truly love you girls. You just don't know what you've all done for me.

  To my round two betas, Jen, Jodie, Rachel, Ellen, Zoe, Anna, Andrea, Simone, SJ, Bianca and a few others. Thank you for giving it the once over and making sure you got the HEA you were looking for.

  To the fab bloggers I know and love. I'm afraid to start listing, because I'll miss some of you out and I don't want to upset anyone. You are all amazing. The reviews for JH were beyond my wildest dreams. There’s so much support in this community and I am truly grateful every day. I am happy to count some of you as friends, I will always be in awe of some of you. I will never cease to be thrilled to bits anytime one of you takes time to talk about my work. Indies would be nothing without you. Thank you.

  Thanks to the fabulous Steph at www.romanceaddictbookblog.com for being my tour host, twice. You crack the whip at just the right moments and always get the job done! I love having someone to say 'yes boss' to. x

  To the magnificent Katy Evans. You probably don't know it because it has happened in the background, but you have been the perfect mentor to me. I truly value your encouragement and support and I am very grateful for your wise words. You absol
utely rock and I can't wait to see what you have in store for us next!

  Thank you to my other amazing friends who support me in so many ways you just wouldn't believe. I'm so lucky to call you my friends and have you in my RL as well as my TL.

  @JenIW_BookNook & @AuthorNichole_K, we would be lethal if we lived on the same continent! My filthy, funny friends!

  @Just_CarrieB, you are a sweetie, I just love our chats, you rock pimp queen! x

  @Prodigalson_1 I adore you, plain and simple. You support me so much, you make me laugh, you make me grrr and you give me evil ideas. You are an evil genius and I love it! Thanks for being there. x

  @Just_MiaG, wow, we've seen some things! Are we the normal ones? It's hard to tell. I just know it's real, I've squished you and seen you do unspeakable things to a cupcake! We've laughed, we've cried and we've talked...and talked...and talked! I love you, but I don't love my phone bill! x

  A special thank you goes to Megan, who fell and injured herself at exactly the right time to save me a shedload of medical research! I'm glad you're back on your feet again, but thanks for being clumsy enough to give me an idea! x

  Oh and I just have to credit Dana @Smuttastic for being the absolute genius who came up with the name Willow. I asked her to pick a baby name out of three regular baby names and she replied,

  "IF they have a little girl I think it should be something AMAZING like Willow :) You know, Willow means something like strong/bendable but can't be broken :) What do you think? Do you hate the idea?"

  ...Do I hate the idea? Pfft! I just hate being the idiot who didn't even think of it!! Thank you for being the genius who did. x

  Thanks again to Kelly at Ultimate Proof for whipping Liv and Danny into shape. It was a pleasure to work with you again.

  And to all the readers, who loved Liv and Danny as much as I did, thank you. I get a kick out of every tweet, every message. Keep talking to me, it never gets old.

  FB2 document info

  Document ID: 2a391d96-9f33-494a-830d-e15fc193a42a

  Document version: 1

  Document creation date: 25.10.2013